Harry Potter: The Prequel
by Damahom
Summary: A story told from Lily Evan's point of view, beginning from when she first found out she was a witch and ending in her death.  My goal is to stick very close to JK's plot line and only fill in the spots she left blank, which are many
1. Prequel to the Prequel

**Hello :)**  
**So this is my first fanfic...I have a few chapters written already, I just wanted to post this and gauge the reactions. I wanted to write a prequel (mostly from Lily's point of view) about the generation before Harry. My goal is to stick as closely to the books as possible, so I will be integrating the memories that JK included in her book. I do not own ANY of the characters...I am using characters that have all been mentioned at some point in her books. So I hope you enjoy, and that this somewhat satisfies your need for the brilliant JK herself to write a prequel (which, she probably won't)**

"James Potter, did you leave these dirty dishes hidden behind a _plant?_!"

James quickly flinched as his wife's accusing voice met his ear.

"Maybe it was Remus?" he suggested lamely.

"Harry, is Daddy being naughty?" Lily called in a more affectionate tone from the kitchen.

The little boy looked up at James' face and pondered it for a second. He broke out into a big grin and squealed, "bad daddy!"

"You little tattle-tale!" James cried, jumping up and flinging Harry over his shoulders. He marched around the room as his son clung to his arms, swinging around and giggling with joy. He turned around and saw Lily standing in the doorway grinning. James unconsciously stopped and stared at his wife; she had a stern expression on her face, but her green eyes were dancing.

"Maybe with some luck he won't turn out to be the little monster that his father was," she teased, stepping towards James and stroking her son's hair. "He's already telling on you."

"Monster?" exclaimed James with fake indignation. "You're thinking of Sirius. I was a perfectly charming, handsome, brilliant—"

"Harry," interrupted Lily, taking her son from James' arms and holding him in front of her so that their matching eyes bore into each other, "is daddy being silly again?"

Harry's face brightened up. He knew what happened when "daddy was being silly." "Daddy silly! Daddy silly!" he shrieked, taking the cue from his mother to lunge towards his father and begin tickling him.

They fell onto the couch, all three erupting in laughter, until Harry's face turned red enough to incite Lily's maternal fears.

"Oh, James, give him a break for a minute!" she said worriedly, pulling Harry up into a sitting position on her lap. James sat up, too, grinning. His hair was even more disheveled than usual and his glasses were askew.

"He's a tough boy, Lil," James said, ruffling his son's equally black, messy hair. Harry swatted playfully at his father's hand with the arm what wasn't entangled in his mother's thick tresses.

Lily kissed Harry on the forehead and detangled his fingers from herself. "I have to go finish the dishes. Calm him down for me so he'll go to bed quicker."

James pulled Harry onto his lap. "Hmm, what will we do with an entire night to ourselves if he goes to bed so early?" he asked, playfully pinching Lily's hip as she stood up. Harry grinned, turning his head from his father to his mother, trying to understand their shared joke. Lily merely winked as she headed back towards the kitchen.

James sat down on the floor and grabbed his wand, pointing it up and conjuring puffs of colored smoke for his son's amusement. Harry giggled delightedly and made grasping motions towards the reds, blues, oranges, and purples that hovered a few feet above the living room floor. James was impatient for Lily to finish; between the Order, Harry, and Voldemort, this was the first potential night for him to be alone with his wife in a long while.

Finally, she made her way back into the room and pulled Harry up. He yawned widely, eliciting loving smiles from his parents.

"Say goodnight to daddy, Harry," Lily instructed.

James stretched up to kiss his son on the cheek as Harry repeated his mother's words.

"He'll be asleep in no time," James said happily, giving Lily his famous devilish grin. She rolled her eyes and ruffled his hair before heading towards the stairs.

James pulled himself from the floor and tossed his wand to the couch. He lifted his arms above his head and stretched with a satisfying yawn. He glanced towards the clock and was disturbed to find that he was this tired at 8:30 p.m. He and the other Maurders had been pulling all nighters back at Hogwarts not too many years ago.

His peace was suddenly interrupted by a loud _bang_ in the front hallway. From the living room, he saw his front door fly into the wall. His heart stopped beating: _this was it_.

"LILY, TAKE HARRY AND GO! It's him! GO! RUN! I'll hold him off!"

Lily froze from the doorway of Harry's room. _No._

She tried to drown out the loud _bangs_ drifting up from downstairs as she turned around and barricaded herself into Harry's room. She couldn't feel her pulse as she pathetically stacked up whatever she could find in front of the door. She realized with a sickening horror that her wand was sitting downstairs in the kitchen. With a small jolt of hope, she also realized that when she had left James a few minutes ago he had had his wand.

Harry was standing in his crib, watching his mother with worried eyes. She swiftly picked him up and leaned against the corner of the room, listening intently. Her breath caught in her throat and she clutched onto her son as she heard a high, cold voice drift from downstairs: "_Avada Kadavra." _All was silent after that, except for one decisive thump.

She began sobbing, heart in her throat, stroking Harry's hair. She would not let her beautiful baby boy meet the same fate as his father. She felt his little arms curl around her neck, and pulled him from her chest so that she could get one last good look. As he stared up at her with his big, green eyes, she thought back to when this all began, and what decisions she could have possibly made to lead her to this place.


	2. It's not hurting you

**I got my first review ever :)**

**This inspired me to put up another chapter. As I said, I have a few written already, and I already know how I want the story to go, so updates should be pretty quick. I hope you all recognize the scene where Snape first presents himself as JK Rowling's (although I have added a few of my own touches.) Just fyi, the first few chapters are going to be about young Lily. My goal for the story is to focus more on older Lily, where all the action (and James) is.  
**

**Happy reading!**

Lilly pumped her legs, urging the swing to go higher. Her eyes were closed as she enjoyed the warm summer air on her face. After a few minutes, her eyes snapped opened and she looked around for her older sister. She was swinging next to her, glaring at her younger sister with disapproval.

"Lily, don't do it!" she shrieked.

Lily merely grinned wider and let go of the swing at the very height of its ark and flew into the air, giggling madly. She hovered for a few seconds longer and landed too lightly to be natural.

"Mummy told you not to!"

Petunia stopped her swing by dragging the heels of her sandals on the ground, making a crunching, grinding sound, then lept up, hands on hips.

"Mummy said you weren't allowed, Lily!"

"But I'm fine," said Lily, still giggling. "Tuney, look at this. Watch what I can do."

She was eager to show her sister yet another one of her unnatural abilities. Although Petunia didn't appreciate the marbles flying around the room, perhaps she would like this trick.

She noticed Petuna glanced around nervously as she picked up a fallen flower from the bush behind her. Her older sister advanced, evidently torn between curiosity and disapproval. Lily waited until Petunia was near enough to have a clear view, then held out her palm and concentrated really hard. The flower sat there, opening and closing its petals, like some bizarre, many-lipped oyster.

"Stop it!" shrieked Petunia.

"It's not hurting you," Lily defended, disappointed that she could not share something so amazing with her sister. She closed her hand on the blossom and tossed it back to the ground.

"It's not right," said Petunia, but her eyes had followed the flower's flight to the ground and lingered upon it. "How do you do it?" she added.

Lily was pleased to hear the longing in her voice. Just as she opened her mouth to instruct her, Lily was cut off.

"It's obvious, isn't it?" came a voice from the very bush she had chosen her flower from. A sallow, small, stringy boy jumped out. He blushed as he looked at Lily, but she hardly noticed; could this boy have an explanation?

"What's obvious?" asked Lily curiously.

His eyes sparkled as he stepped nearer, not taking his eyes off Lily except to briefly glance over at her sister, who had moved towards the swings suspiciously.

"I know what you are," he said in a low, excited voice.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked, breathless.

"You're...you're a witch," he whispered.

Her air of curiosity suddenly evaporated. "That's not a very nice thing to say!" she exclaimed, humiliated that she had trusted this boy. She turned her back to the strange boy and marched towards her sister.

"No!" he called, following her. She stood close to her sister now, mimicking her look of disapproval.

"You _are_," he said to her. "You _are_ a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one, and I'm a wizard."

Lily softened her look, but Petunia's laugh was like cold water.

"Wizard!" she shrieked, her courage returning now that she had recovered from her shock. "_I_ know who _you_ are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river," she told Lily, and it was evident from her tone that she considered the address a poor recommendation. Lily didn't quite understand, but before she could inquire, Petunia turned back to the Snape boy. "Why have you been spying on us?"

"Haven't been spying," he said, looking uncomfortable. As Lily examined him closer, she noticed that he looked dirty. "Wouldn't spy on _you_ anyway," he spat at Petunia. "_You're_ a Muggle!"

Although neither Lily nor Petunia understood the word, they both caught the insulting tone.

"Lily, come on, we're leaving!" Petunia said shrilly. Lily obeyed her sister at once, glaring at Snape as they left him standing alone in the park.

They walked along for a few minutes in silence. Lily was too busy pondering what the boy had revealed to notice that her sister was fuming.

"Do you think its true?" she finally said out loud. She said this as much to herself as she did Petunia.

She was surprised as her sister replied, "I **told** you not to jump like that!"

"But Tuney..."

"That horrible boy has been following us because of you," she accused.

Lily was now defensive. "How was I supposed to know we had someone following us? Plus, maybe he _does_ know something useful. Mum and dad don't listen to me, so maybe Snape can—"

"You're not going to see him again, are you?" Petunia said angrily, rounding on Lily. "He's bad news, he's from _Spinner's End_, Lilly. It's a horrid place."

"It's not his fault where he lives!" retorted Lily indignantly.

"And his clothes," continued Petunia, not listening. "They were so old and dirty! I bet they don't even own washing machines on Spinner's End."

Before Lily could answer, they had reached the front of their house. Lily glared at Petunia as they entered, and sauntered up to her room to wait for dinner, and to devise a plot to speak to this Snape boy alone.

* * *

The next day, Petunia accompanied their mother to the grocery store, and Lily took advantage of this to go try to find Snape again. Sure enough, as she came upon the park, she saw him hanging dejectedly from the swing.

"Hello," she said cautiously. She still was unsure of his character.

He swung around and stood up, face instantly brightening. "Hey!" he said enthusiastically. Lily softened at this kind welcome.

"I-I wanted to talk to you about what you said yesterday," she said sheepishly. She hated admitting that she didn't know something; she was considered quite brilliant for her age.

"Of course," he said, motioning for her to join him on the swing next to his. She walked over, sat, and turned her face attentively to his.

"Is your name Snape?" she asked, realizing that she'd only heard that from her gossiping sister.

He winced. "That's my surname...my first name is Severus."

Lily grinned and stuck out her hand. "I'm Lily Evans."

He took her hand cautiously, and grinned when their fingers touched. She noticed his hands were rough and calloused, but did not shy away.

"So, you can do weird things like me?" she said, instantly delving into the facts she wanted to know.

"It's not _weird_, it's magic," he said, jumping up. "Of course I can, I come from a great wizarding family." She watched intently as he focused on the swing he had just been sitting on. It began spinning very quickly on its own accord, twisting the metal clasps more and more. He released his concentration and turned back to Lily, who was still busy watching the swing.

"But _I'm_ not from a wizarding family," she said slowly.

"Sometimes wizards come from Muggle families—"

"Muggle?" she interrupted, instantly defensive. She remembered the last time he had applied that word.

He faltered. "It just means a non-magical person!" he said quickly. Lily relaxed again, eager again to hear more. However, just as she opened her mouth to ask another question, she was interrupted.

"Lily! It's time for dinner!" Petunia's voice floated from down the street.

Lily looked eagerly back at Severus. "Can we meet again soon? I still have so many questions!"

"Of course," he said, looking delighted. "I can meet tomorrow, and the next day, and—"

"I'll see you tomorrow after lunch time," she said eagerly.

He grinned widely. "Okay, see you then."


	3. Explain the particulars

**Yay, another update! The scene with Severus, Lily, and Petunia should be recognized as JK's work (with my own touches, as usual). **

**ps I'd love any suggestions or ideas you have for the story :) I'll try to incorporate the Maurders as much as possible!**

Lily sat cross-legged on the grass, watching her companion intensely. Her heart was beating fast as Severus' words reached her ears.

"—and they _kiss_ you, but not in a good way," he said mysteriously. "It sucks your _soul_ from your mouth."

Lily shivered. Severus had explained many things over the past two years that sounded wonderful about the wizarding world; she couldn't believe that something so horrible existed. Still, she was morbidly curious.

"Have you ever met one?" she asked breathlessly.

"No," he said slowly. He quickly added on, "but I've seen loads of other cool things."

"Like what?"

"Well, once my mum brought me along to the Ministry of Magic—"

"Ministry?" Lily interrupted quickly. She was frustrated with her lack of knowledge that seemed so obvious to Severus, and probably other wizards. She wanted to be as prepared as possible for the upcoming September.

"Yeah, the minister right now is Nobby Leach. There are _tons_ of departments...Regulation and Control of Magic Creatures...Department of Mysteries...Improper Use of Magic...and the Ministry can punish you if you do magic outside school, you get letters."

"But I _have_ done magic outside school!" Lily said frantically.

"We're all right. We haven't got wands yet. They let you off when you're a kid and you can't help it. But once you're eleven," he nodded importantly, "and they start training you, then you've got to go careful."

There was a little silence. Lily picked up a fallen twig and twirled it in the air, imagining sparks trailing from it like a wand. Then she dropped the twig, leaned in towards snape, and said, "It _is_ real, isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It _is_ real, isn't it?" She almost felt frantic for a confirmation; to have the idea of something this precious taken away was unbearable.

"It's real for us," said Severus. "Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me."

"Really?" whispered Lily.

"Definitely," said Severus, and even with his poorly cut hair and his odd clothes, he struck and oddly impressive figure sprawled in front of her, brimful of confidence in his destiny.

"And will it really come by owl?" Lily said, still whispering.

"Normally," said Severus. "But you're Muggle-born, so someone from the school will have to come and explain to your parents."

"Does it make a difference, being Muggle-born?" Lily was now definitely worried, especially when she noticed he had hesitated.

"No," he finally said. "It doesn't make any difference."

"Good" Lily said, relaxing.

"You've got loads of magic," Severus added comfortingly. "I saw that. All the time I was watching you..."

Lily stretched out on the leafy ground and gazed up at the canopy of leafs above, no longer watching Severus.

"How are things at your house?" she asked when she noticed he had fallen silent. She knew his parents were pretty horrible, but he usually managed to stay clear of them by hanging out with her. Her parents, although reluctant at first, welcomed him into their house for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day; although Lily had never actually told them that Severus hated his house, she had a feeling they understood.

"Fine," he said shortly.

"They're not arguing anymore?" she prompted hopefully.

"Oh yes, they're arguing," he said. She heard the sound of leaves being torn as she continued gazing at the leafy heaven. "But it won't be that long and I'll be gone."

"Doesn't your dad like magic?"

"He doesn't like anything, much," he said sadly. Lily knew she had pushed far enough.

"Severus?"

"Yeah?" he replied softly.

"Tell me about the dementors again."

"What d'you want to know about them for?"

"If I use magic outside of school—"

"They wouldn't give you to the dementors for that! Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too..."

Lily sat up when he trailed off to see what had distracted him. Hiding behind a tree was Petunia, who had lost her footing.

"Tuney!" Lily cried out in surprise and happiness. She had always rejected Severus' company, but maybe now she was going to hang out with them.

Severus, however, jumped to his feet. "Who's spying now?" he shouted. "What d'you want?"

Petunia was breathless, alarmed at being caught. Before Lily could come to her defense, invite her to join them, Petunia burst out, "What is that you're wearing, anyway? Your mum's blouse?"

Lily jumped as there was a huge crack, and a large branch over Petunia's head had fallen. Lily screamed, willing the tree away from her sister's head. The branch only caught her sister's shoulder, but it was enough to cause her to stagger backwards and burst into tears.

"Tuney!"

But Petunia was running away already. Angerily, Lily rounded on Severus.

"Did you make that happen?" she accused.

"No," he said defiantly.

"You did!" she screamed, backing away from him. "You _did_! You hurt her!"

"No—no I didn't!"

The lie did not convince her. She glared at him one last time and turned to run after her sister.

She sprinted down the sidewalk, wanting desperately to explain. She bolted into the house and up to Petunia's room, and ran into her door.

"Tuney!" Lily called, tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't believe that Severus had ruined Lily's one chance to include Petunia in her new life.

"Go away!" came her sister's muffled voice. "Don't _EVER_ talk to me again!"

Lily's tears fell quicker, and she retired to her room to give her sister time to calm down.

* * *

Although Severus adamantly assured her that she was, indeed, a witch and therefore would definitely be invited to attend Hogwarts, Lily had still harbored doubts. It seemed too good—too amazing—to be true. So when the doorbell rang one warm, June night after dinner, Lily was shocked when her father welcomed a wizened man into their living room. He was wearing robes of deep purple.

"Good evening Mrs. Evans!" he said warmly, graciously taking her confused mother's hand and kissing it. He turned to Lily and her sister and nodded politely. "Miss Evans, Miss Evans. My name is Professor Dumbledore."

They all stared, mouths agape, at such a mysterious and odd person. He looked comfortably around, clearly accustomed to inciting such stares. Mrs. Evans was the first to finally remember her manners.

"Please—er—Professor, have a seat," she said, motioning to one of their armchairs. "I'll go get some tea."

"Oh, please don't trouble yourself," Dumbledore said pleasantly as he plopped down, with unusual agility for a man his age, into the chair.

Another silence ensued, which was interrupted this time by Lily's father. "So, do what do we owe the pleasure, Mr. Dumbledore?"

The professor's eyes lit up at the invitation. "So glad you asked! I am the headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I would like to offer your youngest daughter a place at our school."

Lily's heart, which seemed as though it had stopped beating in such suspense, suddenly lightened. Severus _hadn't_ been making it up. She was going to go learn magic!

Her heart sank a little as she heard Petunia snort next to her. She looked to her father and mother for comfort, but their looks clearly conveyed disbelief. Lily hadn't anticipated this. She had never told her parents about her special abilities, but she had been sure that if they heard it from another adult they would believe her.

"_Witchcraft_?" Mrs. Evans repeated, horrified.

"Now see here, Dumbledore!" exclaimed her father, striding across the room and standing in front of Lily, as if to protect her. "You will not be shipping my daughter off to some crack-pot school and teaching her nonsense!"

Lily peaked around her father's legs to gauge Dumbledore's reaction. Would he revoke his offer because of her father's rudeness? She had to step in.

"No daddy, he's telling the truth," she said timidly. Her father jumped and turned to look at her. She saw out of the corner of her eye that Petunia had a very ugly look on her face.

"What's that, Lily-flower?" he asked softly, clearly nervous for his daughter's sanity.

"Watch," she said, feeling bolder at Dumbledore's nod of approval.

She got up and went to the marbles that she and Severus had been playing with earlier. He had wanted to make them fly, but she made him play the "muggle" way because she didn't want her mom to see. Lily put three in her palm, held it out so her parents could see, and made them float a few inches above her hand.

Her mother cried out in shock and her father fell back onto the couch. Lily jumped at their violent reactions, horrified, and the marbles fell to the floor. She was thankful when Professor Dumbledore stepped in.

"I assure you, Mr. and Mrs. Evans," he began, standing up and putting a comforting hand on Lily's shoulder, "your daughter is not ill. She is a witch. Although none of you are magical, on rare occasions a person of non-magic descent will show magical abilities. We want to teach her how to use those, and Hogwarts is the best school for that."

Her parents were still silent. They shared a look between themselves and were quiet for some time. Dumbledore gently cleared his throat.

"I think I will have some of that tea now," he said. He pulled a wand that, if possible, looked older than himself, and with a wave, a tray with a teapot, five cups, and biscuits materialized out of thin air and landed neatly on the coffee table. Mrs. Evans let out another horrified gasp and Mr. Evans jumped back. Dumbledore helped himself to some tea, reseated himself, and motioned for the Evans' to do the same. Although reluctantly, Lily's parents took the tea she poured for them. With another violent sniff, Petunia ignored Lily's offered cup. Lily sat down next to her mother and turned to Dumbledore.

"Now, shall I explain the particulars?" he said with a comforting twinkle in his eye.

* * *

"Severus, I don't think we should be doing this," Lily whispered as they crept up the stairs towards her sister's room.

"But Lily, that owl I saw _had_ to be for you. It was definitely a Hogwarts owl...they don't carry letters to Muggles..."

"I hate that word," Lily muttered.

"What? Why?" Severus asked in disbelief. "It's just what you call non-magic people."

"I know, but it's just the _way_ you say it," she sighed. It sounded like it was a curse word to Lily's ears.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, continuing on.

The door creaked open, but Lily made Severus wait in the doorway out of respect for her sister. "I don't think she'd like a boy in here."

"Alright, just hurry."

Lily tip-toed through the door and surveyed the room. She didn't have to look far; there was an official-looking piece of parchment sitting on Petunia's desk. Lily grabbed it, butterflies of guilt in her stomach, and dashed out.

"Come on," she hissed at Severus, pulling him into her room. She wanted to get this over with before Petunia came back from her friend's house.

Severus took the letter and opened it. He stared at it for a minute, and smiled to himself. It wasn't a smile of happiness.

"What does it say?" Lily asked impatiently.

"Here," he said, the mirthful smile still playing on his lips.

Lily greedily gazed at it. It was written in loopy handwriting, and had the Hogwarts crest at the top right corner.

_"Dear Miss Evans—_

_I would like to thank you for your letter, but must regretfully inform you that we cannot admit you to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. As a non-magical person, you would not be able to participate in the required courses. Your sister will have opportunities to write frequently, and you will be reunited every winter and summer._

_Regards,_

_Albus Dumbledore"_

Lily's heart swelled. Petunia had written to Dumbledore requesting admittance. She suddenly understood all her sister's words against Hogwarts. She was upset that she couldn't be included.

"A _muggle_ in _Hogwarts_?" Severus said in contemptuous disbelief. "She really thought he would let her in?"

"Poor Tuney," Lily said sadly, distracted by pity for her sister.


	4. Welcome to Diagon Alley

**So I just wrote the chapter where they get to Hogwarts, which I'm sure is what people are waiting for...so I'm just going to go ahead and publish chapters 3 and 4 to get the background stuff out of the way (and onto the Hogwarts Express!). Chapter 5 I will hold off on, because that will bring you to Hogwarts :)**

**Enjoy (and review please?)  
**

"Please form a line!" Professor McGonagall said loudly.

The group of twenty or so students instantly complied; the professor's tone suggested that they would regret if they did otherwise.

Lily could hardly keep still. Dumbledore had instructed her parents to drop her off in London at a place called The Leaky Cauldron so that she could buy the required materials for Hogwarts. Her parents had finally come around, and to Lily's delight and surprise, they were proud of her and eager to send her off to Hogwarts.

"Alright, we're going to Gringott's to the Muggle Exchange Office to get wizard gold with which you will purchase your supplies."

I shiver of excitement went through the group. Lily had heard Severus mention Gringott's before. She wondered if the other students knew that goblins worked there.

They stood on tip-toe and followed Professor McGonagall to a brick wall at the back of the alley in which they stood. She tapped a few bricks with her wand and there was a collective gasp as the wall melted away and an entire town was revealed.

"Welcome to Diagon Alley" McGonagall said, elevating her voice over the surrounding noise of the crowd that had just materialized. "This way, please!"

Lily struggled to keep up, but she was torn between staying with the group or stopping to stare at the thousands of amazing sights. As she trotted along the cobblestone street, she gazed at the stores: Flourish and Blotts, Florean's, Quality Quidditch Supplies, the Daily Prophet...

Lily tried desperately to remember everything so she could quiz Severus later, but as soon as one thing caught her attention, she would get distracted by something even more amazing. They passed a flower vendor run by an elderly witch in green robes. The sign—which was transcribed on a plain piece of wood, yet the letters somehow sparkled and flashed—boasted of "Never-Wilt Nigellas," "Purring-Petunias," and "Fire-Breathing Snapdragons." Lily desperately wanted to stop here, but the girl behind her ran into Lily as she stopped, reminding her to stay with the group.

"Oh, sorry!" the girl apologized quickly, grabbing onto Lily's shoulder as she stumbled backwards.

"No, its my fault," Lily said, turning to the girl. She was very pretty, with a head full of golden ringlets and a wide smile. Lily instantly liked her. "I just can't stop staring at everything."

The girl grinned and fell into step with Lily. "I'm Mary MacDonald," she said.

"Nice to meet you," Lily said happily. She wanted to begin Hogwarts with as many friends as possible. "I'm Lily Evans."

"I guess you're from a M-Muggle family as well?" Mary said uncertainly. She was clearly still getting used to the wizard terminology.

"Yeah," Lily replied, quickly straining her neck to make sure they were still following Professor McGonagall. She caught sight of the woman's tight bun above the crowd and turned back to Mary. "How did your parents take it?"

"Oh, they were quite relieved," she said conversationally. "They saw all the things I was doing with my magic and thought I was possessed by a demon." Lilly joined in her giggles.

"I didn't tell my parents anything, until the headmaster showed up. They were quite shocked, but eventually came around."

Mary opened her mouth to reply, but they were interrupted by McGonagall.

"Alright students, please have your Muggle money ready. We want to stay on schedule."

Lily felt in her pocket for the 100 pound bills her parents had given to her. She had never been in possession of this much money in her life and had been nervously checking on it the entire trip to London.

As they entered the bank, Lily caught sight of a poem engraved on the silver doors. She nudged her new friend.

"_Enter, stranger, but take heed_

_Of what awaits the sin of greed,_

_For those who take, but do not earn, _

_Must pay most dearly in their turn._

_So if you seek beneath our floors_

_A treasure that was never yours,_

_Thief, you have been warned, beware_

_Of finding more than treasure there"_

"What d'you think that means?" Mary whispered.

"Idunno, my friend Severus said that he's heard some vaults are guarded by _dragons_," Lily whispered back, proud that she was able to explain something for once.

Mary gasped. "_Dragons_? Those aren't real!"

"I assure you, Miss MacDonald, dragons are quite real." McGonagall's voice made them jump. Lily hadn't been paying attention when they entered into the lobby, and was surprised to find she was surrounded by marble. Snowy white marble floors, long marble counters, engraved marble pillars...

Behind the marble counters were short, wrinkly—well, not exactly men. These, Lily realized, must be goblins. She tried not to stare, but her classmates had less grace. They didn't have the fortune of being forewarned.

"Whaddya lookin' at?" one growled menacingly at a boy who hadn't bothered to hide his wonder at the creatures. The boy jumped and looked away, blushing.

They followed McGonagall to the right, where she stopped in front of a goblin seated behind a counter.

"Minerva," he grunted familiarily.

"Griphook," she replied. "These are the students with the muggle money that must be exchanged."

"Ah yes," he said, motioning that the girl standing nearest hand him her money. She reluctantly took out a few bills, placed them in Griphook's hand, and jumped back, terrified.

He gave her a withering look before turning behind the counter to count the money. Lily was just as in shock of these creatures as the others, but she couldn't imagine why they were being so rude.

When Griphook returned, the students craned their necks to see what wizard currency looked like. He handed the girl a full pouch, which she grabbed quickly and retreated to the back of the line. As she walked, she opened the pouch and held a handful of gold, silver, and bronze coins.

Griphook repeated this process, until finally it was Lily's turn. She confidently walked up and said "Hullo" as she handed the goblin her bills. He studied her for half a second, arched an eyebrow, and grunted. This was good enough for Lily, who smiled at him as he turned to get her bag. He handed her the bag, which was so heavy that she had to use two hands, and she thanked him enthusiastically. He grunted again, and she turned away so that Mary could go.


	5. Don't want to be a freak

**The scene at the train station is from the beautiful mind of JK (with some of my own edits). Also, what do you notice about two of the wands that Lily tries out?**

Lily awoke with a jolt on September 1st, her heart beating unusually fast. She panicked for half a second, worrying that everything the past months had been just a dream. She looked around her dark room and was instantly comforted by the sights of her nearly-packed trunk, school books, and, most importantly, her wand on her nightstand. She picked it up and ran her fingers down it lovingly, remembering a few weeks back when she chose it—or, rather, when _it_ chose _her_.

_She had stepped into the small, dark room of Ollivander's alone; there was barely enough room for her, Professor McGonagall, and the owner, let alone an entire group of twenty. Ollivander considered her for a few, silent moments, gazing at her with his wide, pale eyes. He finally made a "hmm" noise in the back of his throat, pulled out a measuring tape. _

"_Which arm is your wand arm?" he asked distractedly, lost in his own thoughts._

"_Excuse me?" Lily asked timidly. She didn't want to answer incorrectly and be fitted to the wrong wand._

"_Which hand do you use to write?" McGonagall said kindly._

"_Oh, my right," Lily said, offering it to him._

_He nodded, stretching the tape measurer from the tip of her middle right finger to her armpit, then the circumference of her upper arm, then the back of her head to her feet..._

_Ollivander turned around, allowing the tape measurer to continue on its own accord, measuring places that Lily thought odd to determine her wand: the distance between her knee and bellybutton, the circumference of her head, and the length of her small toe, for example._

_He came back, holding a long, thin box. He took out the wand, his pale eyes now strangely alight. "Since we know nothing of your magical abilities, and we have no family members with magical abilities to judge from, this is mostly guesswork," he warned._

"_Oh, sorry," Lily apologized. "I don't want to take up too much of your time—"_

"_No, no, not at all!" he exclaimed, thrusting the first wand into her hand. It was very dark and short. "Brazilian walnut, containing dragon heartstring, 9 1/3 inches. Very sturdy, very good for duels. Go ahead, give it a flick."_

_Lily hesitated, feeling slightly ridiculous. Finally, she gently flicked her wrist in a "U" motion, holding her breath. Nothing happened._

"_No matter, no matter!" Ollivander exclaimed, snatching the wand excitedly from her hand. "I have something else that might do the trick."_

_He handed her another wand and explained "Holly, 11 inches, phoenix feather at the core. Nice and supple. Go ahead."_

_She flicked it into the air, and although it warmed her hand, nothing else happened. She was about to tell him what happened—she wasn't quite sure what he was looking for—but he had already grabbed it from her._

_He thrust another wand into her hand. This was a deep, rich, reddish color. Lily liked it. "11 inches exactly. Mahogany, containing the whisker of a transformed werewolf. That was hard to get, that. Excellent for transfiguration...go ahead!"_

_Lily gave another light flick, and a small spark flew feebly out the end. She turned to gauge Ollivander's reaction, but he grabbed the wand from her._

"_That was something, yes, but not nearly strong enough..." He trailed off and his face had lit up again._

"_Oh! So obvious! The wrist movement..."_

_He turned away, muttering to himself in the same manner, and disappeared behind the stacks of wands. He returned a minute later with a slightly shorter wand with a much lighter color._

"_Willow, 10 1/4 inches, containing a golden unicorn hair from a baby...very lucky to have come across that...go on!" he said suddenly, impatient to see his puzzle solved._

_Lily gave it a flick, and was delighted to see pink sparks fly from the tip._

"_Aha! Very swishy, nice for charm work. Excellent, excellent Miss Evans!"_

Lily was interrupted from these happy recollections by a soft knocking on the door. "Lily-flower, come down for breakfast," her mother's voice drifted through the door.

"Alright mum," she said, jumping out of bed. She carefully dressed herself in a grey jumper with a white shirt underneath. She had spent a week stressing out over the outfit; she wanted to look perfect for her first day, even though she knew that they would be required to wear robes once at Hogwarts.

She gazed at herself in the mirror, ensuring that her long, auburn hair wasn't out of place. She wondered vaguely if she would learn some kind of magic that would enable her to make herself shorter; she was so tall and lanky.

She trotted downstairs and seated herself across from Petunia, who was already making her way through blueberry pancakes and eggs. Lily grabbed some for herself, but could barely touch it. She was too nervous.

"Lily, you've barely touched anything," her mother said worriedly.

"I'm not very hungry," she said, pushing the things around on her plate. She just wanted to be on the train with Severus on her way to Hogwarts. "Are we leaving soon?"

Petunia made a disapproving noise in her throat. Lily knew that she didn't want to come, but her mother was making her. Petunia went to great lengths to let Lily know that she wanted nothing to do with her sister and her magic. On the way out of Diagon Alley, Lily had purchased Purring Petunias for her sister. The flowers were very sweet and would rub against her fingers and purr like a kitten. Lily had left the pot outside of Petunia's door, and was horrified the to see the sweet flowers stomped out and in the garbage.

"Yes, it's about half an hour's drive to King's Cross," her father said from behind his newspaper.

Lily attempted a few more bites of breakfast, but her stomach gave a menacing growl, so she instead went to finish packing her trunk.

Lily went to reach for her father's hand, but saw it was occupied with the cart pushing her trunk. Instead she grabbed on to his arm.

"Ready?" he asked with an air of forced confidence. Lily understood; no matter how much they believed Dumbledore, it was very unnerving to run towards a solid stone wall.

"Let's go," Lily said. Her excitement greatly outweighed any misgivings.

They broke out into a small jog towards the barrier. Lily silently prayed that they had the right wall. She closed her eyes, and snapped them opened when the relative quietness of King's Cross gave way to the boisterous noises of Platform 9 3/4. They stopped and drank in the sites, equally awed.

A large scarlet train sat on the tracks, surrounded by all sorts of people. Few were in robes—they had been advised not to wear them as not to draw attention to themselves—but apparently wizards were bad at dressing like Muggles. Lily watched one family walk by where the mother was wearing a three-piece men's tuxedo. She shared a glance with her father and they smiled.

"Well!"

Lily turned around and saw that her mother and Petunia had made it. Her mother was looking around in amazement at the unusual crowd. Petunia, with one disgusted look around, stared adamantly down at her hands. Lily edged closer to her, taking advantage of her parent's distraction.

"I'm sorry, Tuney, I'm sorry! Listen—" She caught her sister's hand and held tight to it, not allowing Petunia to pull away. "Maybe once I'm there—no, listen, Tuney! Maybe once I'm there I'll be able to go to Professor Dumbledore and persuade im to change his mind!"

"I don't—want—to—go!" said Petunia, and she dragged her hand back out of Lily's grasp. "You think I want to go to some stupid castle and learn to be a—a—"

Lily was pleadingly silent as she waited for her sister to finish. Petunia cast her eyes over the platform, over the cats mewling in their owners' arms, over the owls fluttering and hooting at each other in cages, over the students, some already in their long black robes, loading trunks onto the scarlet steam engine or else greeting one another with glad cries after a summer apart.

"—you think I want to be a—freak?"

Lily's eyes filled with tears as Petunia succeeded in tugging her hand away. She couldn't understand her older sister's cruelty.

"I'm not a freak," she said defensively. "That's a horrible thing to say."

"That's where you're going," said Petunia with relish. "A special school for freaks. You and that Snape boy...weirdos, thats what you two are. It's good you're being separated from normal people. It's for our safety."

Lily suddenly became enraged. She understood Petunia's jealousy to a certain point, but she had gone beyond jealousy to cruelty. Lily glanced at her parents, who were still looking around the platform in wholehearted enjoyment, drinking in the scene. Then she looked back at her sister, and her voice came out low and fierce.

"You didn't think it was such a freak's school when you rote to the headmaster and begged him to take you."

She was satisfied to see Petunia turn scarlet.

"Beg? I didn't beg!"

"I saw his reply. It was very kind."

"You shouldn't have read—" whispered Petunia, "that was my private—how could you—?"

Lily instinctively glanced over at Severus, who was standing with his sour-looking mother, watching her. She directed her eyes back at Petunia as Petunia gasped.

"That boy found it! You and that boy have been sneaking around in my room!"

"No—not sneaking—" Lily was beginning to feel bad again. She knew that what she had done was wrong, and it was even worse of her to have thrown it in her sister's face. She was still defensive. "Severus saw the owl carrying the letter, and he couldn't believe a Muggle could have contacted Hogwarts, that's all! He says there must be wizards working undercover in the postal service who take care of—"

"Apparently wizards poke their noses in everywhere!" said Petunia, now as pale as she had been flushed. "_Freak!_" she spat at Lily, flouncing off to where their parents stood.

Lily stood alone for a few minutes, willing herself not to shed tears, and finally was able to say a coherent farewell to her parents.

**The second wand was Harry's, and the third was James'! I made up Lily and James' cores because they're not mentioned, but I figured something from a werewolf would be good for transfiguration, and an innocent baby unicorn was fitting for Lily.**


	6. Tuck in

**I was going to wait to post this, but I can't keep it to myself. Parts of the train scene and the sorting scene are Ms. Rowling's, but the rest is mine. **

**Enjoy && reviews are always _always always_ appreciated :)**

Lily sat with her head pressed against the cool window, miserably watching the surrounding countryside pass. She had quickly drowned out the two boys that had joined her, and was comforted that her hair would hide her tears. She didn't feel right going off to Hogwarts without saying a proper goodbye to her older sister.

She looked up when she saw Severus, already dressed in his school robes, come into the compartment and slide into the seat in front of her.

"I don't want to talk to you," she said in a constricted voice.

"Why not?"

"Tuney h-hates me. Because we saw the letter from Dumbledore."

"So what?"

Lily was affronted and shot him a glare. "So she's my sister!"

"She's only a—" he trailed off, but Lily had already distracted herself with wiping her eyes before anyone noticed her tears. This was not how she had wanted to begin the year.

"But we're going!" he said in exhilaration, trying to cheer her. "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!"

In spite of herself, she half smiled.

"You'd better be in Slytherin," he teased, glad to see her smile.

Before Lily could reply, they were interrupted.

"_Slytherin_?"

Lily turned to see who was speaking. It was a boy their age. He was by no means fat, but his features were rounded and healthy, as though he had been very well cared for. His black hair stuck up at odd angles, giving him a carefree, playful look.

"Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" he asked the boy lounging on the seats opposite him. The other boy had black hair as well, although it was tame and hung loosely in his cool eyes. Lily thought him attractive, but his posture suggested a haughty attitude.

"My whole family have been in Slytherin," he said cautiously.

"Blimey," said the first boy, "and I thought you seemed alright!"

The boy grinned back at his companion. "Maybe I'll break tradition. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

The boy with untidy hair drew an invisible sword and jumped up on his seat. "'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad."

Lily watched the scene with raised eyebrows. Unfortunately, she was not educated enough on the separate houses to state her opinion. She heard Severus make a small, disparaging noise. The Gryffindor boy turned on him.

"Got a problem with that?"

"No," said Severus, although his sneer suggested otherwise. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy—"

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" interjected the second boy.

The two other boys roared with laughter. Lily stood up, flushed, and looked from one boy to the other with extreme dislike. There was no reason for them to attack her friend like that.

"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment."

"Oooooo..." the boys chanted.

The first boy tried to trip Severus as they left. "See ya, Snivellus!"

Lily tried to turn around to snap back, but Severus caught her arm. "No, let's just go."

She complied and stomped further back through the train, muttering to herself. "No reason...so _arrogant_...just idiots...probably won't make it past first lesson..."

Without realizing it, she ran straight into someone. She gasped and immediately apologized. "I'm so sorry I—"

"Lily?"

"Oh! Mary!"

The two girls embraced. Lily was so relieved to have found another friend that she forgot instantly about the boys in the other compartment.

"I was off to find a compartment," Mary invited, motioning to an empty one they had stopped next to. Lily and Severus followed her, and once seated, Lily introduced her to Severus.

"We met at Diagon Alley," Lily explained.

Severus grunted and pulled out a heavy book from his trunk. Lily glanced uneasily at Mary at this inexplicable attitude. She reminded herself that he was generally shy, and busied herself in discussion with Mary, relaying what had just happened with the two boys.

"Well, I can see why some people might not like Slytherin," Mary said cautiously. She glanced nervously at Severus before continuing. He made no motion to show that he had heard her. "According to _Hogwarts: A History_, Slytherin's house really values pure-bloods. That can get a little touchy."

Lily glanced uneasily at Severus, who's face was still hidden behind his book. He had never mentioned that to her.

"And what about the other houses?" Lily asked. She wasn't so sure about Slytherin anymore, and she now doubted Severus' description of the other houses: "Ravenclaw is for those people who don't do anything but study...nerds if you ask me. Hufflepuff is the house that takes the people the other houses wouldn't have. Gryffindor is for arrogant idiots."

"Well," Mary replied thoughtfully, screwing up her forehead in concentration, "Ravenclaw is mostly the really smart people—'Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure'—and Hufflepuff doesn't discriminate at all. They seem like a really friendly bunch."

"What about Gryffindor?" asked Lily eagerly, thinking of the boy from before. "Do they take the big-headed, the arrogant, and the toerags?"

Mary and her laughed together, and Lily even noticed Severus lower his book to shoot her a grin.

"What's that?"

They turned and saw the two boys, now joined by a third. He was blond, very short and plump, with squinted eyes and sharp features. He kept glancing up at the other two in nervous admiration.

"You heard me," Lily said, grinning mockingly at him. "I don't know much about the houses, but if you're claiming that _you _are going to be a Gryffindor, then that's the best I can assume..."

"Gryffindor is for the brave, the loyal, and the best!" the boy said, enraged by Lily's mocking.

"Your idea of brave is picking on innocent people?" Lily shot back, her smile fading.

"James, I think that's her _boyfriend_ you were picking on," said the black haired attractive boy.

"He is not!"

"Hear that?" James said, turning to Severus. "You're so ugly, your own girlfriend won't admit she's with you."

The boys laughed loudly.

Lily flushed and stood up, getting in James' face.

"I'd rather date him—I'd rather date a dirty old boot than ever date someone like _you_," she spat.

She was glad to hear Mary and Severus laughing, and even more satisfied to see James' companions trying to repress smiles.

"Whatever," James huffed. "Enjoy _Snivellus_. Come on."

Lily grinned as they left.

"I see what you mean," Mary said in reference to the boys, still laughing. "You put him in his place though."

"Hopefully _we_ don't end up in the same house as him," Lily said, suddenly worried at the prospect of seven years in the same house with a jerk like that.

"I wouldn't mind the one with the long hair," Mary giggled.

* * *

Lily fidgeted with her new robes as they waited on the side of the Great Hall for her name to be called. She saw with displeasure that James' first companion—"Black, Sirius!"—had gotten his wish and was not in Slytherin, but Gryffindor. She glanced around her shoulder for an encouraging look from either Severus or Mary, but she jumped as her name was called by Professor McGonagall.

"Evans, Lily!_"_

Lily scurried over to the stool. She sat down, and pulled the great hat over hear head. It was so large that it blocked her eyes, so that she was staring into darkness. Suddenly, she heard a small voice in her hear.

"_Hmm.._."

"Please not Gryffindor," she thought to herself over and over.

She felt the hat give a mental start.

"_Not Gryffindor! My dear Miss Evans, you would positively thrive in Gryffindor. I see great things happening there...great things_..."

"I don't want to be with that stupid James boy!" Lily thought viciously, picturing his mocking face in her mind.

The hat chuckled in her head. "_Ah, that's no reason to hold back from your fullest potential_."

"Ravenclaw doesn't seem so bad," she thought to the hat, grudgingly.

"_Now Miss Evans, are you willing to settle for mediocracy because of petty prejudices_?"

Lily almost retorted, but the word "mediocracy" was still ringing in her ears.

"I suppose not."

"_Well, I see your fullest potential lies in_...GRYFFINDOR!"

Lily ripped off the hat and couldn't help but smile at the sounds of the cheers that had erupted from the maroon-and-gold-clad table. As she headed towards it, she glanced over her shoulder at Severus and gave him a small, apologetic smile.

When she reached the table, she sat down at the first available spot. She turned to see who was next to her, and to her extreme distaste, it was Black. He grinned wickedly at her, and she responded by folding her arms and firmly turning her back to him.

She watched the rest of the sorting in anticipation. She felt a great relief when "MacDonald, Mary" was sorted into Gryffindor. Lily clapped loudly and made room next to her for Mary. Soon afterwards, however, she let out a groan of disappointment as "Potter, James!" was sorted into Gryffindor with no deliberation, apparently, on the hat's part.

The group of unsorted first years quickly dwindled, until it was finally time for "Snape, Severus!" He didn't even have time to sit before the hat, barely on his head, shouted a definitive "SLYTHERIN!"

Severus handed the hat to McGonagall and hurried off to the other side of the Hall where students clad in green and black cheered. Lily watched as he was greeted with a pat on the back by a tall boy with slick, white-blonde hair. Lily began to examine the Slytherins more closely. She noticed that they looked like a less lively, darker bunch than the surrounding tables. She whipped her head around when she heard her name.

"—Evans is about to cry. Her boyfriend was sorted into another house."

"No, Potter, I'm about to cry because I have to spend the next seven years of my life with _you_," she bit back in annoyance. The surrounding students who had not witnessed their earlier feud on the train listened in confused amusement.

Before he could reply, Dumbledore stood up, and the room became instantly silent.

"Tuck-in."

With that, the empty gold plates in front of Lily instantly filled magically with delicious-smelling piles of food, and she forgot about Potter.


	7. He Who Must Not Be Named?

**I am the queen of updates. My main motivation to write these quickly is because I can't wait to start writing about when they're a bit older...right now they're only 11/12, so I can't get into any of the romantic stuff really. The story _does_ have to begin somewhere though. By chapter 8 the story will get a bit more interesting, I promise :)**

**Alsooo, thanks for the comments :) I got a suggestion from "Sam" saying that my story would benefit from incorporating my own characters...to respond, for this story I really just want to stick to JK's plot as much as possible since there's so much she left out, but I most definitely have ideas for another HP story with my own characters for after this one.  
**

**Anyways, I'm done ranting. Enjoy :)**

**ps. most of this chapter is original, except, of course, for the characters  
**

Lily awoke the morning after the feast feeling jittery. Today was the first day of classes, but she was no longer nervous. The night before she, Mary, and their two roommates—Emmeline Vance and Alice Prince—had stayed up talking and bonding for a long time. She discovered that Alice was a pureblood and Emmeline was half. Alice had given great comfort to Lily when she explained that there were very few pure-blood families left; it was very difficult to find another pure-blood to marry without inbreeding, and she thought the notion of pure-blood superiority ridiculous.

Alice and Emmeline informed Lily and Mary further on the wizarding world. One topic weighed heavily on Lily's mind. She turned it over in her head as she headed to the showers to prepare for the day.

When discussing the topic of pure-bloods, Alice said that there was an extremist out there who was trying to kill off all the muggle-borns. She said that the ministry should have it under control soon, but he had been at it for two or three years already and was gaining some followers.

"You mean," Mary had said in a worried voice, "wizards will kill us just because we don't come from families with wizarding blood?"

"There are some crazies out there who are against integrating people with no magical family history, but He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is the only one in a really long time that's actually gone out and done something," Emmeline explained with a clear tone of disgust.

"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" Lilly asked.

"Well, no one really says his name," Alice said in a hushed voice, her brown eyes large on her round face. "He's done some pretty horrible things...I almost feel like he'll come after me just for saying it." She and Emmeline shivered. Lily and Mary, however, were still confused. Lily was burning with curiosity.

"But Severus never said anything about him...he can't be _that_ bad," Lily reasoned.

Alice looked sharply over to Lily. "Severus Snape? He was sorted to Slytherin, right? My dad's second or third cousins with his mum...says that side of the family is a bit twisted."

"His parents are a bit off, but he's fine," Lily defended. She didn't think it was fair for Alice to be judging based off of rumors. "I've been friends with him for a few years."

Alice and Emmeline looked at her strangely. "Does—does he _know_ you're muggle-born?" asked Emmeline in disbelief.

"Of course!" Lily said, getting even more defensive. "Just because his parents are a bit screwy..."

"It's just," Alice interrupted soothingly, "they're known for being purists. Don't you think it's weird that he didn't mention He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to you?"

Lily was silent. It was a little weird. Did Severus have a prejudice against Lily's own kind? She vaguely thought of his loathsome father, but surely Severus understood that not all muggles were like him?

"Maybe he just didn't want to frighten you," Emmeline had suggested. "Sorry Lily, he probably is fine. It's just weird for us because we've only heard about his family."

Lily stepped out of the shower, Severus' omitting of this He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named fellow still weighing on her mind. He had told her about other horrible things, like dementors. What could be worse than getting your soul sucked out of your mouth?

She was finally able to push the issue out of her mind when she and her roommates went down to breakfast together. They took their seats at the end of the Gryffindor table and began to place various breakfast foods on their plates.

"I wonder what subject we have first," Lily said excitedly.

"Ugh, hopefully not History of Magic," groaned Alice, "It's way too early for that."

"Wow, who is _that_?" Emmeline interrupted suddenly, her thin face blushing red behind her mane of brown hair. The four girls turned to see who she had nodded towards, and Lily rolled her eyes in disgust.

"That's Sirius Black and James Potter," Lily said with clear dislike in her voice. "They're gits, don't waste your time Emmeline."

"Come off it, you just don't like him because he hangs out with Potter," Mary said. "Black wasn't too bad."

Just as she said that, Sirius nudged James to get his attention, pointed his wand at a passerby, and muttered "Podex." The girl jumped and passed gas very loudly. The Great Hall erupted in laughter, and James and Sirius fell into their seats in tears.

"Regulus taught me that one!" Sirius bragged, winking at another black-haired boy sitting at the Slytherin table.

Lily turned back to her friends and arched her eyebrow at Mary.

"Alright," she admitted. "But I wouldn't say no to a snog with him..."

"Potter's dad is a decent bloke, though," Alice said thoughtfully. "My mum says he was one of the best aurors the Ministry had ever seen. Retired now."

McGonagall then came over with schedules, putting an end to the Potter and Black discussion.

"Transfiguration first with the Ravenclaws first," Emmeline read out loud. "Ooh and flying tomorrow!"

"Flying?" Lily asked nervously.

"Yeah, on broomsticks," clarified Alice.

Lily and Mary shared a skeptical look, and they grabbed their bags to head off to McGonagalls class.

* * *

"There is a lot more to magic," began Professor McGonagall, "than just waving your wand and saying funny words. To be successful in this class, as well as your others, you must study the theory, learn the incantation, perfect the movement, and _practice_."

McGonagall was silent for a moment, giving each student around the room a stern glare.

"Now, please follow along and copy down the notes."

Lily quickly pulled out a sheet of parchment, dipped her quill into ink, and began copying down McGoagall's instructions on transfiguring small, inanimate objects. About halfway through the class, Mcgonagall demonstrated how to turn a match into a needle, and then distributed matches and instructed the students to practice the same.

Lily fingered her wand in anticipation. This was her first opportunity to use it. She eagerly slid the match in front of her, pointed her wand, and muttered the incantation. Nothing happened.

She looked up, feeling self-conscious, but found that she had no reason to be; no one had managed to accomplish it yet. In fact, McGonagall was already telling off a boy who had managed to incinerate his match with a small "boom."

"Pettigrew is it? Five points from Gryffindor, you clearly were not listening when I said 'small, sharp flick...'"

Lily prodded at her match a few more times, growing more and more dejected. What if she didn't have enough magic to stay in Hogwarts?

"Keep practicing Miss Evans, no one gets it on their first try," McGonagall said kindly as she walked by to examine the students' work. Lily smiled weakly and nodded, glancing at her notes again. She realized she had forgotten to do the proper wrist movement. She held her wand, practicing the quick, short flick, but was again distracted.

"You're James Potter, am I correct?" McGonagall said to James. Without waiting for his reply, she turned to Sirius. "And you must be Regulus Black's brother. Please, Mr. Potter and Black, where are your notes?"

Lily almost dropped her wand when she saw them hold up perfectly transfigured needles. She didn't wait to see Mcgonagall's reaction, but quickly turned back to her work. She had taken notes for the entire class, and _they_ hadn't written anything!

She took a deep, determined breath, flicked her wrist and said the incantation, and was ecstatic to see that her match became elongated and pointy, and the brown wood became shiny and silver. She turned to show McGonagall, but she was still busy lecturing Potter and Black.

* * *

Over the next few months, Lily had emerged as one of the top in their class. Her professors, particularly her potions Professor, Slughorn, were delighted with her. Her friends often went to her for help with homework and checking essays; she absorbed everything that she read in books, and could easily catch an error in their work. This isn't to say that her friends were unintelligent; Alice and Emmeline became very bored with studying, as they had grown up around magic their whole lives, and Mary preferred to practice rather than study.

Aside from the occasional annoyances of Potter, Sirius, and their new companions Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, the past few months had been the best yet of Lily's life. She wrote her parents often, but had given up writing to Petunia after three of her letters to her sister had come back with a school owl, unopened.

Lily hurried down the hall, already late meeting Severus. They had a Defense Against the Dark Arts test the following day, and they were going to find an empty class room to go over some last minute studying and practicing. Severus was especially good at this subject, and Lily hoped he could help make her Knockback Jinx stronger.

"Hey," she greeted happily when she rounded the corner and saw him standing by the door to the hospital wing. "I think McGonagall's room is usually opened, shall we try there?"

"Sure," he said with a smile.

As they headed off, walking down the corridors, Lily greeted fellow Gryffindors and others from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw that she'd met through classes.

"All right, Remus?" she asked, trying to keep her tone friendly as they approached a skinny brown-haired boy with large bags under his eyes. Although he was quite close with James and Sirius, she recognized that he was usually not an active participant in their pranks. Plus, it would have been awkward to walk by and ignore him. She softened her tone more when she noticed he looked very ill.

"I'm off to the hospital wing," he groaned, his eyes dragging. "Madam Pomfre's Pepper-up usually does the trick..."

"Hopefully you feel better by the DADA exam tomorrow," Lily said sympathetically. He nodded as he walked away.

"You're very popular," Severus noted in a sullen tone.

"What's that for?" she teased. "I still make time for _you_, don't I?"

He brightened at this. "I suppose, as long as you don't forget who your _true_ best friend is."

They entered the room, and Severus lined up chairs for Lily to practice her Knockback Jinx.

"Alright, just remember to pause and let it build enough up before you do the final flick," Severus reminded her, stepping back.

Lily nodded and stepped forward. However, she was distracted as she glanced over at Severus. In the frenzy of classes, she had forgotten about "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named" and Severus' exclusion of him from his descriptions of the wizarding world. But today, she had read in the newspaper that she had recently taken a subscription out to, _The Daily Prophet_, that he was responsible for killing a large group of Muggles who had gathered at a bar to watch a football match. She had decided, after reading that, to confront Severus about it. Especially since one of his fellow Slytherins' fathers, Avery, had been a suspect in the killing.

"F-flippendo!" she stammered, distracted by her thoughts. One of the chairs edged backwards a couple inches, but that was it.

"You're not concentrating," he noted.

"Alright," she said, taking a deep breath. "Flippendo!"

This time, the chair she had aimed for toppled backwards, but not with the amount of force she wanted.

"C'mon Lily, like this," he said, stepping forward. She watched him make the initial wrist movement as he shouted the incantation, and then released the spell with a final twitch.

"Sev?" she asked his back.

He straightened up and turned around. "Yeah?"

"Why didn't you tell me about Lord Voldemort?"

He gasped. "_Lily_, you can't say the Dark Lord's name! Where did you hear that?"

Lily would never admit that she had learned his name from James Potter, who often and loudly boasted that _he_ wasn't afraid to say Voldemort's name, and that his father said it was stupid for other people not to.

"I overheard someone saying it," she said vaguely. "But you didn't answer my question."

"I—I just didn't want to scare you," he quickly made up.

"But you told me all that stuff about Dementors, and Azkaban..."

"Listen, Lily, we have a lot of work to do. Just don't go around saying his name in front of everyone—"

"—but"

"—it just makes people uncomfortable."

"But Sev, one of your friends' dads is _suspected_ for running in league with him!" she said indignantly. How could he just brush past this subject?

"Yeah, suspected. That doesn't mean his son has anything to do with it!"

"And it's no secret that the Slytherins won't even speak to muggle-borns," she continued, disturbed with his defensive tone. "I've met tons of people in other houses, but Slytherins won't even—"

"Those are my friends your accusing!" he said harshly.

"Whatever, Severus. Maybe I'll just go study with Mary..." Lily said sadly. She turned and walked off, leaving him alone in the dark classroom.


	8. Trouble, all of them

**So, Blondebunny55 was kind enough to point out that Regulus was younger than Sirius. So embarrassing, especially after my multiple rants about following Jk's story closely :( He's not a vital part of the story, fortunately, so just go with it. To make amends, I'll post chapter 8 after this one, and we'll never speak of this mistake again :) . And thanks so much for the reviews!**

"He just _can't_ like that Voldemort guy," Lily vented to her friends as they sat around the fire, surrounded by books and paper. "But he didn't even try to defend himself!"

"You said he called him _the Dark Lord_?" Alice asked, concerned.

"Yeah...I didn't even notice that until now!" exclaimed Lily. "But we've been friends for so long..."

"And he wouldn't talk to me on the train," Mary pointed out. "And he knew I was muggle-born, you told him that we met at Diagon Alley when McGonagall was taking all of us to get supplies."

"Listen, Lily, watch out for him," Emmeline warned, waving her quill at her. "Maybe he was fine on his own, but you said he hangs around Avery and that crowd? That can't be good."

"He would never hurt me," Lily said, although there was a hint of uncertainty in her tone.

Lily saw the skeptical looks shared between her friends, but decided to drop it. She still had to work on her flippendo jinx.

"Alright Mary, you said you'd help me practice," she reminded her friend.

"Why me?" she whined, although she got up and went with Lily.

"Because, its meant for humans and not chairs...its more effective if I practice on you," Lily said in a matter of fact tone. Mary rolled her eyes playfully and positioned herself in front of a pillow, dramatically opening her arms in surrender.

"Hit me."

Just as Lily was preparing to cast the spell, she noticed a blur out of the corner of her eye. Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew were hiding behind a couch, giggling in anticipation. Lily followed their gaze and saw Potter creeping up behind the armchair Emmeline was in. Her long, brown hair was draped over the back, and Lily was sure that was Potter's target; it was the best spot in the common room, and those boys always victimized whoever occupied it so they could take it for themselves.

Potter pulled his wand back, but Lily was quicker.

"FLIPPENDO!"

James shot back and banged into a table. Everyone, including his friends, erupted in laughter.

"Leave my friends alone, Potter," Lily threatened, waving her wand.

"Watch your back Evans," he warned, although he was smiling good-naturedly. It was obvious he knew he had got what was coming to him.

* * *

"Listen, Lilly, I'm really sorry," pleaded Severus. "Just because the other Slytherins won't get along with Gryffindors doesn't mean _we_ can't get along."

Lily softened. She really did hate fighting with Severus, and he hadn't actually done anything wrong; that's why she'd slowed down for him to catch up to her on their way to potions.

"I guess," she said slowly. "Just—just tell me you don't agree with that Voldemort psycho."

Severus looked down at his feet. "You know, Lily, not all muggles are as accepting of wizards as your parents. Look at your sister—"

Lily's eyes flashed dangerously, but before she could interrupt he quickly went on. "I'm not saying I think we should go around _killing_ them, but can't you see why some people might be mistrustful?"

Lily shook her head. "It goes both ways. Just answer me, Sev."

He softened as she said his name, and he took her hand. "No, I don't agree with him Lily. You're muggle-born, and you're a brilliant witch."

Lily smiled at this flattery. "Thanks, Sev. Try and convince your thick-headed Slytherins the same."

They entered Slughorn's dungeon together, but Severus made a beeline to the other side of the room, next to his friends. They looked at Lily contemptuously and put their heads together and whispered something, shooting glares at Severus.

Lily sighed and ignored it, turning to take a seat next to Emmeline.

"You're talking to Severus again?" she muttered under her breath.

"He just apologized, and promised he didn't want anything to do with Voldemo—"

"Good afternoon!" Slughorn greeted enthusiastically. "I hope you all read the chapter on boil-curing potions? Please open your books to page 92, although I'm sure Miss Evans could manage without," he said with a quick wink.

Lily grinned modestly.

"I wish you wouldn't say that name," Emmeline continued, shuddering.

Lily rolled her eyes in reply.

* * *

Lily didn't particularly like Quidditch, but she loved the atmosphere of excitement and rivalry the week of games. Over the past week, Lily and her friends joined the crowds of Gryffindors who accompanied the seven players to their classes; this was a necessary step before playing Slytherin, who were known for casting some pretty nasty jinxes in an attempt to psych out their adversaries.

"He's quite charming, don't you think?" Alice whispered as they took their seats at the Gryffindor table the Saturday morning before the game. They had just been part of a group that accompanied a second-year chaser, Frank Longbottom, to breakfast.

"His ears are big," giggled Mary.

Alice ignored her, although she cut her pancakes with slightly more force than necessary through breakfast.

"I can't _wait_ until next year's try-outs!"

A loud, bragging voice reached Lily's ears from a few seats down. She didn't even have to look up to see who it belonged to. Fortunately, she and her friends had just finished breakfast and were ready to head to the Quidditch pitch.

"Shall we go?" she asked, trying not to let her tone betray her annoyance. Her friends had taken to teasing her about her dislike for Potter. She was regretful to see that they had been blinded by his charm and could not see his conspicuous arrogance through it.

Just as they assented, Lily was vexed to see that Potter and his friends were right behind them.

"I'd be sure to aim directly for Lucius Malfoy's smarmy face, every time" Black chimed in, swinging an invisible beater's bat.

"I really don't understand why they don't let first-years try out," Potter continued boasting. "I could fly _circles_ around Prewett."

Lily couldn't help it. She snorted in disbelief, not entirely intending on Potter hearing it, but not minding when he did.

"Oy, Evans," Potter said, he and his group catching up with Lily and her's. "Just because _you_ can't get five inches off the ground without falling doesn't mean you have to hate me for _my_ expert flying abilities."

Lily rolled her eyes. There was no denying that Potter was an expert flier—at least fifty times better than Lily would ever be—but she would not allow herself to be perturbed by it.

"I have better things to do with my time than play with broomsticks," she said with a sniff.

"Like what, kiss up to Slughorn? '_I'm sure Miss Evans could manage without_,'" he mocked.

Lily suddenly realized that she and James were walking ahead of the group, alone in conversation. This made her inexplicably self-conscious and agitated. She turned to see where her friends had gone off, and was even less comforted. Sirius was in deep conversation with Emmeline about her excellent flying skills while Mary listened on in silence, chewing on her lip in agitation.

"Hippogriff got your tongue?" he asked, drawing her attention back to him.

Although Lily had no clue what a "hippogriff" was, she was not about to ask Potter and give him the satisfaction of explaining something to her. She was also still distracted by the look of distress on her best friend's face, so she ended the conversation with a quick "sure," and fell back to distract Mary from Sirius.

"They're trouble, all of them," she warned in a whisper, linking arms with her best friend. Mary nodded, not taking her eyes off Black.

"We're going to each write to each other at least once a week," Alice promised, taking on her customary role of the mother to their group, soothing her friends. "We'll be back before you know it."

"I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself all summer," Lily said sadly. "At least you guys will still be with other wizards...me and Mary will be stuck with no magic."

"Come off it...you don't think we're going to invite you over all the time?" Emmeline laughed, although her eyes were still dangerously watery.

"And I'm going to invite myself over," said Alice in a matter-of-fact tone. "I want to see how muggles manage it without magic."

"It's nothing special," Mary promised.

The train came to a stop with a loud and definitive squeal of the breaks.

"Every week?" Mary asked.

"_Every_ week," Alice confirmed.

With that, they grabbed their trunks and exited to Platform 9 3/4. After many exchanges of hugs, Lily pulled herself away when she saw Severus exit the train.

"Sev!" she said, waving him over. Her parents had agreed to pick him up as well.

She turned and caught sight of her parents, but felt a small but not unexpected jolt of disappointment when she noticed Petunia was absent.


	9. One day as a third year

**As promised, chapter 8. They're finally a little older...In this chapter I just wanted to show where Lily is before I jump ahead to her later, more significant (and James-filled) years. Those chapters begin after this. Enjoy & review :)**

Lily awoke Saturday morning with a small jolt, felling as though she was running late for something. She sat up quickly and glanced at the calendar taped next to her bed that Mary had given her for Christmas last year. The white paper had changed itself magically overnight, so that it read in sparkly blue writing "Saturday, November 16: Hogsmede."

"Oh Merlin," she muttered in relief. She had been sure that it was Monday and she was late for her transfiguration test on medium-sized animal transfiguration.

Glancing at the clock, she realized that she should rouse her roommates. She climbed into Mary's bed and pulled the covers down from over her head.

"Maaary," she said, prodding her gently. "Maaary...stop dreaming about _Sirius_."

"What?" Mary said groggily, sitting up, alert and confused.

"Hogsmede," Lily said, giggling.

"Sirius?"

"Hogsmede," Lily repeated, giggling harder.

Mary seemed to have come to her senses, because she blushed and pushed Lily off her bed. The surprised shriek Lily let out and the loud "thud" her bum made when hitting the floor was enough to wake the other two.

"Oy, Evans," Emmeline grumbled in annoyance, pulling her pillow over her head. "Ten more minutes...Quidditch practice ran so late last night."

"Rise and shine!" Lily chirped, now fully awake. This was only her third trip to Hogsmeade, since they were not allowed to go as first and second years, and she was eager to leave. She pulled the curtains opened, allowing the clear, autumn sun to shine in, ignoring her friends' groans.

"C'mon!" Alice joined in, appearing suddenly behind Lily. "We said we'd meet Frank and his friends after breakfast."

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Lily exclaimed, pointing her wand at Emmeline's pillow, which was still hiding her face. Emmeline groaned and sat up.

"That damn sun..."

Lily followed Alice into the bathroom to freshen up. Alice turned to Lily, hopelessly pulling at her hair.

"My dad always insists on this horrid haircut," she complained, shaking her short, plain hair. "I've been meaning to practice a hair growth charm."

"Here," Lily said sympathetically, pulling out her wand.

"Oh! Do you know a spell?"

"No," said Lily mysteriously. "This is how _muggles_ style their hair."

She pointed the tip of her wand where Alice's hairline begging at her forehead, and zig-zagged to the back of her scalp, flipping her straight hairline to and fro, until it was an elegant zig-zag.

Alice inspected herself. "So much better," she sighed. "Thanks."

"Also, _Cando_," Lily muttered with a wink. Alice's hair brightened and seemed to subtly sparkle.

* * *

Lily sipped on her butterbeer which was, in her opinion, the best drink in the world. Although she had butterbeer at Professor Slughorn's "Slug-Club" meetings pretty frequently, Lily would never pass up a chance for more. She drank deeply as she listened in on Frank and his friend, Sturgis Podmore, debate.

"It's just a matter of just _catching_ the slippery bugger," Frank said enthusiastically.

"No," replied Sturgis in a deep, thoughtful voice. "No, I'm afraid it is probably more complicated than that. The ministry suspects a much deeper network of followers than what we already know about."

"Yeah," chimed in Emmeline. "I think he's recruiting the Slytherins."

"Nonsense!" Frank laughed. "You think a criminal mastermind would trust a moron like Evan Rosier?"

Lily flinched at the sound of Severus' best friend. She'd always thought he was a sketchy character, but it was unnerving to hear that her friends suspect he could be a potential Death Eater.

"I don't know...they apprehended Avery's dad finally for that massive muggle murder a few years back," Alice added. "All those pure-blood families probably thinks He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named ideas are brilliant. They've all thought of wizard purification before, but no one was brave enough to go through with it."

Lily shared a look with Mary. The topic of Voldemort always made them uncomfortable. Their friends, who all had a substantial amount of wizarding backgrounds, did not receive the same threatening glares from some of the Slytherins. Bellatrix Black had gone so far as to bewitch threatening notes to fly across Potions to Mary: "Mudbloods beware!" Lily shook with anger at her cruel laughter; Mary had not wanted want Lily to tell anyone about it and make a big deal, so Bellatrix went unpunished.

"Black was telling me at practice the other day," Emmeline began in a low voice, forcing the group to huddle closer together, "that his brother's been acting strange. He's almost graduated but won't tell Sirius what he's up to. He said he's always been a bit evil, and his parents just encourage it...Regulus and Sirius don't talk much anymore."

They were quiet as they contemplated this.

"Well, at least Sirius is keeping his nose out of it," Mary said respectfully. They nodded in assent. Lily may not like Sirius and his friends, but she would never go so far as to call their intentions nefarious. In fact, the Maurders (as they had coined themselves) directed most of their pranks at the very people who worried Lily and Mary.

Perhaps it was unfair of Lily to think of Mary as unavenged, she realized. Sirius and James usually sat behind her and Mary in Potions; they could have easily seen the note and overheard her and Mary's whispered conversation, and Mary's entreaties for secracy. It could be more than coincidence that the next day Black had transfigured his cousin into a toad—a toad that Peeves the Poltergeist had taken great pleasure in punting down the halls all that afternoon. Lily suspected that the only reason Black wasn't expelled was because the professors were so impressed by Sirius' advanced level of magic (human transfiguration wasn't even taught until the N.E.W.T. Level).

However, while _most_ of their antics were directed at those who probably deserved it, they still targeted the innocent. She learned the Bat-Bogey Hex just so she could have the satisfaction of using it on James the next time he attacked Severus. Sure enough, Potter had been chased down the hall with great, flapping things attacking his face after placing an engogio charm on Severus' nose ("_I_ can't see a difference!" he'd laughed, just before she stealthily aimed the hex at his face).

Lily had lost track of the conversation in front of her. Where _were_ the Maurders? It wasn't like them to miss a trip to Hogsmeade. Although they hadn't stopped their onslaught of rule-breaking fun, they seemed much more reclusive. In the Gryffindors' free time, Lily hardly ever saw them in the common room anymore.

"—going to get started on this horrid essay for Binns," Frank said, getting up.

"Two feet on medieval wizard governments," Sturgis added mournfully.

The girls exchanged mutual goodbyes with the Gryffindor fourth years, and Frank's direct "see you around" to Alice did not go unnoticed.

"Shall we go visit the Shrieking Shack?" Lily suggested, eager to have a better look around Hogsmead before returning to the castle.

"Sure," Emmeline and Mary said in unison. Alice was silently recovering from Frank's presence.

They followed Emmeline, snaking through The Three Broomsticks towards the exit. Emmeline pushed opened the door, which promptly closed shut again as it hit something solid.

"Oof!"

"Frank?" she asked uncertainly, opening the door a fraction this time.

"Sorry!" he apologized, stepping aside to let them out. "I was just coming back in."

The girls shot each other confused glances. Lily noticed Sturgis standing up the ways, pretending to look into Honeydukes, but glancing back around at them every few seconds.

"I—er—wanted just to—er..." He continued to hesitate, alternating his looks from his shoes to Alice. Lily quickly understood his odd behavior and grabbed Emmeline with one hand and Mary with the other.

"Oh! I—er—want to go to Honeydukes," Lily said lamely. "C'mon."

Alice watched after them with a panicked look, but could do nothing. Before they were out of earshot, Lily could hear Frank beginning to say "I—er—wanted to know if you'd like to—"

"He's asking her out!" Lily hissed to her friends, who kept shooting her confused glances. Realization dawned on both faces.

* * *

"Finally!" exclaimed Emmeline when Alice had returned, bright red in the face, and explained what Frank had said. "I _knew_ he'd gotten a hold of the Stunning Spell after about the fourth time he'd asked you to show it to him."

Alice just continued grinning stupidly.

They pulled their scarves more tightly around their necks as they trudged against the wind towards the shack. It was rumored to be haunted by particularly violent ghosts, and even the Maurders didn't dare cook up some plan to break in.

As they approached, there was only one other person there. An older witch struggled with what looked like an adorable black dog on a leash. When Lily looked closer, however, she noticed it had a much longer snout than that of a regular dog.

"Come _on_ Miffy!" the woman groaned.

"Oh! A niffler!" breathed Emmeline to herself.

The woman turned when she saw the girls approaching. "Oh!" she exclaimed, embarrassed at her lack of control. "Hello, girls. Hogwarts students?"

They nodded. "May we pet your niffler?" Emmeline asked eagerly.

"Yes, yes Miffy's quite gentle," the woman said affectionately. "Took her out to do a bit of treasure-hunting. She's set on going into that cursed house, though!" The woman shot a terrifying look towards the Shrieking Shack.

Lily bent down to pat the niffler on the head, and gasped as it lunged at her, digging its snout into her neck.

"_Miffy!"_ the woman cried out, pulling the animal off her. "I'm so sorry dear! I forgot to warn you to mind your jewelry"

"No, its fine," Lily giggled, felling that her necklace was still in place. Mary pulled her off the ground.

"Do you live in the village?" Alice asked politely, scratching Miffy behind the ear.

"Yes, just up the way," the witch said, pointing further up the lane. "Not far enough from _this_ horrid house. I keep telling the town council that they should just tear it down for good."

"You've _heard_ the spirits in there?" Lily asked incredulously. She'd just assumed it was a myth.

"Spirits? Oh no, something much, much worse. Horrible shrieks, like an animal dying. Goes on all night...fortunately I've got my brother to put a silencing charm around my house so Miffy and I can get our rest."

* * *

"Sev! You're fifteen minutes late," Lily whispered, glancing quickly around to ensure Madame Prince

"Sorry Lil...Potter was up to something. He and Remus were sneaking around the hallways in the basement..."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Probably just breaking into the kitchens again. Don't worry about them."

"He gets away with _everything_," Severus muttered to himself, his face half hidden behind his long, stringy hair. "And everyone just adores him for it. I lost him this time, but I bet he was going to do something stupid."

"Sev, _don't worry_ about him," Lily said with a small smile. "Not _everyone_ adores him."

He flashed a quick grin at her. "True. You're too smart for that."

Lily shook her head. "But not smart enough to memorize this Shrinking Solution without your help. You always have the best shortcuts."

This time he let an actual smile escape his stony face. "Yeah, but I'd be nowhere in Charms without you."

"That's a lie, Severus," she grinned. "You're brilliant."

"Yeah, it is fun watching you _try_ to teach me something," he teased.

"I'm sorry," said a sharp voice from behind them. "I didn't realize I'd set my library up in the middle of a _social hall_."

"Sorry," Lily said. Severus just glared defiantly at her. Madame Prince sniffed indignantly and stalked away, keeping close by.

"Okay," Severus began in a whisper as Lily took out a quill to jot down his modified instructions. "Don't chop the daisy root, but let it soak..."


	10. Date with the Whomping Willow

**Hello...sorry I didn't update as quickly as I have been...I've exhausted my store of pre-written chapters, so now I'm just publishing as I go. This is an extra long chapter, though, so hopefully its well worth the wait! So in response to one comment saying that Alice Prince is actually Snapes mom, don't worry, I didn't confuse them. They just don't give Alice Longbottom's maiden name (at least, I don't think so. If they do, then let me know and I'll change it asap), and I know that Snape's mom was pureblood, and its not like theres that many pureblood names to choose from. Also, its convenient if she's somehow related to Snape because she gave some perspective on his family to Lily towards the beginning. Finally, in response to my "Madame Prince" typos, whoops, my bad :) Soo enjoy the newest (and hopefully typo-free) chapter!  
**

**ps. Your reviews make me smileee**

"Lily dear, what's the matter?"

Lily whipped her head around from looking over her shoulder to face her mother.

"Nothing mom, I'm just looking for my friends."

Lily and her parents stood on Platform 9 3/4 on September 1 for the fifth year in a row. The atmosphere this year, however, was much more subdued. People huddled in groups with their family and friends, frequently looking over their shoulders as Lily just had been doing. She glanced nervously over at her parents, worried they might notice. Fortunately, they were taking in the scene, blissfully unaware of the surrounding tension.

"Evans?"

Lily cringed at the voice, the only chipper one on the platform. _Not in front of my parents..._

She was too busy worrying, however, to note the surprise in Potter's voice.

"Oh, is this one of your friends?" Mrs. Evans asked, delighted. She had only ever seen Lily bring home her girlfriends from school, and had begun pestering her about boys.

"Not exact—"

"James Potter," James introduced himself enthusiastically, shaking Mr. Evans' hand and delicately kissing Mrs. Evans'.

"Delighted!" said Mrs. Evans. Lily was disgusted to see her blush.

As James positioned himself next to Lily, she noticed how much he'd grown. He seemed to have been stretched over the years, growing taller but leaner. His disheveled hair no longer seemed immature, but presented a relaxed devil-may-care attitude. Lily made a threatening noise in the back of her throat, glaring at James. He grinned mischievously down at her with his hazel eyes sparkling behind his glasses.

"Let me get that," he said, taking Lily's trunk from her father and placing it on top of his own. "Have a good holiday?"

Lily struggled against his side as he clamped his arm around her shoulder, in what must have looked like a friendly gesture. She saw her father give a small, nod of approval and was suddenly horrified: her parents must think that they're dating.

"It was lovely," answered Mrs. Evans eagerly. "We spent ours at the beach. What about—?"

Lily took the opportunity of the distraction of a knocked over owl cage to stomp on James' foot without her parents noticing. He cried out, but it was drowned out by the angry shrieks of the bird a few feet away. She positioned herself next to her parents to say goodbye.

"Have a good term, James," her mother said fondly.

"Keep her out of trouble," her father said with a wink. James grinned mockingly at Lily.

"Of course, sir."

Lily waited for her parents to vanish through the wall to round on him.

"Potter!"

"Now Evans, I don't think your father would approve of that unladylike attitude," he said, grinning and ruffling her hair. She swung at his hand, but he dodged her easily with his expert seeker skills.

Lily was fuming. He was so _smug_. The last time she had seen him, he had hit Severus with some sort of hex that produced painful, purple boils all over his face. "_A little gift to remember me over the holidays!" _he'd yelled as his fellow Maurders laughed obnoxiously.

"Potter, I swear, if you don't just _sod off_..."

"You can't dock points from me for being charming," he said with his cocky grin plastered on his face, pointing to her new prefect's badge. "That would be abusing your power."

"You're about as charming as a flobberworm," she muttered, grabbing her trunk and dragging it towards the train. She desperately wanted to see Emmeline, Alice, and Mary, and get away from Potter. He was acting weird...he was getting too close, what with the side-hug in front of her parents and ruffling her hair.

"Evans, let me get that," he said, his mocking tone dissipating.

"So you can throw my knickers all over the Hogwarts Express? No, I've got it," she said sarcastically.

"C'mon Lily, you don't have muscles like these," he said, stepping in front of her and flexing.

"Any idiot can put an engorging charm on their arms," she replied, becoming more and more annoyed with him.

"Ouch Evans. I'll let that one slide if you go on a date with me to Hogsmeade."

Lily stopped in her tracks. "Potter, _did you just ask me out_?"

"Yeah. So is that a yes?" he asked, as though it was the most normal thing in the world.

She stared at him, trying to work out his plan.

"Ah, speechless I see," he said, wagging his eyebrows. "Well, I'll take that as a yes. The first trip is—"

"Potter, deflate your head for two seconds," she interrupted. "No, I will _not_ go with you to Hogsmeade. Your idea of a fun date is probably hexing innocent first years. No, I think I'll stay on grounds and feed myself to the Whomping Willow that day."

"C'mon Evans, stop being so stubborn. You know you want me."

"I have standards," she replied, heaving her trunk onto the train and increasing her pace.

"Well, you can't be dating anyone else," he reasoned, still close on her trail. "No one here even compares to _me_."

"Potter, I'll ask you one more time: _sod off_."

"So it's a date. I'll see you—"

"_Langlock!_"

"Mmmfbp!" he said as he tried to speak, but his tongue was now glued to the roof of his mouth.

"I said _no_," she said as they reached the compartment her friends were in.

He replied by suggestively wagged his eyebrows at her again, and she responded by slamming the compartment door in his face.

* * *

"I mean, you _are_ a babe," teased Mary after Lily had recounted what had just happened to her friends.

"Yeah, but Potter is usually blinded by his own greatness to notice anyone else," she said bitterly. "Plus he's known me for five years and never asked me out then."

"Maybe its your new hair," Emmeline said offhandedly, flipping through _Witch Weekly_.

Lily unconsciously ran her hand through her newly layered hair. Over the summer, Emmeline had convinced Lily that her straight, flat hair needed a more "mature" look.

"You have this beautiful auburn hair, and it probably looks the same as how you had it when you were five," she had insisted bluntly. Mary's mother was a muggle hairdresser, so she assented to say farewell—however reluctantly—to her long sheet of hair in favor of shoulder-length layers.

"Nah, it's probably your new figure," said Alice, with a small hint of jealousy.

Indeed, Lily and her friends had grown a lot since their first year. Emmeline, the fashionista of their group, insisted that they take a trip to Madam Malkin's in Diagon Alley over the summer to procure newer and more fitted robes. When Lily had turned around in the mirror, she was pleased to see that there were curves present that had not been there before. Her waist had narrowed, her hips had widened, and she had an overall healthy glow.

Her friends, in her opinion, were even more beautiful. Emmeline had grown into an athletic frame, with narrow hips and long, slender legs. She was so full of energy all the time, and her long, brown waves were always in constant motion. Mary, once dwarfed by her huge head of blonde spirals, had grown into them beautifully. She had grown very tall and thin and reminded Lily of a supermodel. She was, if possible, even more modest than Lily, and Lily couldn't understand why. Alice had gotten her wish of being able to grow her dirty blonde hair out, and was constantly asking Lily to charm it into different styles. She was the shortest of the rest, with a very curvy figure. She constantly bemoaned her friends' bodies, but Lily often overheard Frank reassuring her that his favorite part about her was her—

"No," Lily waved her friend off. "There are plenty of other girls with much nicer figures who might be dimwitted enough to actually take an interest in him. It's just a new plot of his to annoy me."

"Sure," said Emmeline sarcastically. "You've just got it out for him. He's actually quite nice."

"Yeah, maybe if he's your Quidditch captain and you're one of the best players in the school," said Lily pointedly. "Enough about him."

Lily saw her friends exchange their refrain of shared eye rolls, reserved specifically for her James Potter rants.

"You're quiet, Mary," Alice noted.

Lily instantly felt guilty. She had been so absorbed in her own problems that she hadn't noticed her best friend.

"Yeah," she chimed in. "What's up?"

Mary sighed, running her thin fingers in her beautifully messy hair. "It's nothing. I—I just got in a small row with my parents before I left."

Lily, Alice, and Emmeline now gave her their full attention. Lily had a sudden sick feeling she knew what it was about.

"They—well—they just noticed that everyone was less-than-chipper on Platform 9 3/4. That worried them more...I had calmed them down a bit about You-Know-Who, but when they saw other wizards frightened, they worried again. They...they asked me not to come back."

"Oh, Mary," Lily said, placing a hand on her best friend's shoulder comfortingly. "But you're coming back now, so its all alright!"

"Lily, you can't pretend that's not a huge blow, a direct attack on the ministry with all those aurors dead," Mary replied quietly. "And he's targeting _us_, the 'mudbloods.' So many people are dying every day..."

"Hogwarts is the safest place on earth," Alice said in a no-nonsense tone.

"Well, they think that if I just renounce being a witch—"

She was immediately cut off my cries from her three friends.

"WHAT—"

"Are they _mad_—"

"Ridiculous..."

She made a pathetic attempt at a smile. "It's okay...I'm here now, aren't I?"

"I suppose," Lily said reluctantly. She had been through a similar conversation with her parents, although once she had assured them that Voldemort (it was a relief to talk to someone who doesn't flinch at the sound of his name) was too scared to attack Hogwarts, and she was of little consequence in the wizarding world, so why would he target her?

She did, however, leave out the whole issue of muggle-born discrimination, and the Slytherin's frequent threats towards muggle-borns.

The four friends were quiet for a moment, reflecting on what Mary had just said. Lily hadn't been blind to the daily announcements of death and attacks on the front page of the _Daily Prophet_. She was certainly worried, but renouncing her magic would be just want Voldemort wants. No more muggle-borns. Just an army of pure bloods under his rule. Even the ministry seemed powerless against him now; reports of the imperius curse being performed on top officials were coming out. What was worse was that no one could tell if it was actually the imperius curse, or if it was the person acting on his or her own accord.

"I'm going to go do some rounds," Lily announced, suddenly feeling restless. She wanted something to distract her from her hopeless thoughts.

She exited the compartment and walked down the hall. She poked her head into compartments, greeting people and exchanging small talk about people's summers. Just as she waved goodbye to Bertram Aubrey and his friends as she stepped out of their compartment, she bumped into Severus.

"Oh, hey Sev!" she said happily. "I feel like I haven't seen you for so long."

"I've been busy," he said vaguely. His tone suddenly changed to defensive. "I heard Potter asked you out."

Lily rolled her eyes. "C'mon Sev, what do you think I said?"

Severus looked at her reproachfully.

"Oh don't give me that look. I told him that I'd rather feed myself to the Whomping Willow."

The corner of Severus' mouth twitched upwards. Lily enjoyed making him smile—well, as close to a smile as he would come. It was quite a challenge.

She opened her mouth to inquire about his last few weeks of summer, for they both had been too busy to see each other, but they were interrupted.

"Severus, hurry up, everyone's waiting for you," Rosier said, poking his head out from a few compartments down. His only acknowledgement of Lily was a malicious sneer.

"I'll—er—see you later," he said quickly, turning towards his friend.

Lily nodded uncomfortably, continuing on. As she reached the back few compartments, she heard Potter's voice through their open compartment doors.

"—so _hot_. I couldn't believe it was _Evans_. I mean she's always been nice looking, but she did something this summer—"

"Come off it Prongs," Sirius' voice interrupted. "You've been talking about her for the last half an hour...I want to hear more about MacDonald."

Lily, initially flattered, was now defensive. Mary was way too sweet for a flirt like Sirius. Lily also knew that Mary had a soft spot for him, and nothing good could come out of her years of affection and his transient interest.

"I didn't see her," James said shortly.

"You know, Lily doesn't think as highly as you as everyone else does," Lily heard Remus' voice point out. "You always attack Snape in front of her."

"Snivellus is a great, evil slimeball," James said quickly. "I don't know _why_ she talks to him."

"Yeah," Peter Pettigrew chimed in. "I don't know how she can speak with him...he smells so horrible."

Lily had heard enough. Wanting to avoid a confrontation, she turned to head back to her compartment when she heard Sirius say, "Speaking of Snivellus, let's go see what he's up to. Give him a proper hello."

Lily thought wildly of trying to illegally apparate back to her compartment to avoid them, but it was too late. She heard their footsteps behind her, and the inevitable "Evans!"

She turned to acknowledge them and give James a sarcastic smile.

"Change your mind?" Potter asked, grinning widely.

"Absolutely not," Lily replied shortly, wondering why her compartment had to be so far off.

"Well, I—"

"Remus, congratulations," she said, cutting James off and pointing to Remus' prefect's badge.

"Oh, thanks," he said a little reluctantly. She realized his friends must have made fun of him for it.

"Does that mean you're giving up your life of crime?" she teased gently.

He half-smiled. "Maybe. I think Dumbledore's hoping I'll keep this lot in line."

"Well, if you ever need any help, I think I've learned _one_ way to make Potter shut his mouth," she said with a wink.

Remus looked as though he was trying to suppress a smile. He glanced sideways at James, who was shooting him a death stare. He opened his mouth to retort, but Lily waved her wand in front of him tauntingly.

"Aw, lighten up Evans," Sirius said playfully. "Just come with us to Hogsmeade."

"Us?"

"Yeah...you and Potter and me and your lurvely friend over there."

Lily looked to where he had nodded. They stopped in front of her friends' compartment where Mary, Emmeline, Alice, and now Frank were sitting. She saw with horror that he was winking at Mary. She bit her tongue; she knew Mary wouldn't appreciate if Lily scared off Black.

"I can't speak for Mary, but as I told Potter, I have a date with the Whomping Willow that day," she said, turning to take a seat. To her horror, they followed and took seats amongst her friends.

"All right, Emmeline?" Potter asked.

"Good, and you?" she replied, grinning kindly at the new additions to their compartment. She had always been on good terms with them because of Quidditch.

"Good. Excited to start back up with Quidditch," he said, leaning back and ruffling his hair with one of his hands. Lily rolled her eyes. "We're definitely going undefeated this year."

"Ah, we need a new beater though," Frank pointed out.

Lily sighed to herself. Alice was distracted by Frank, Mary occupied herself by shooting glances at Sirius every few seconds, and Emmeline continued her Quidditch conversation with Sirius.

"So, what classes are you taking this term?" James inquired.

Lily paused for a moment. She was unused to his regular voice—the one not laced with cruel mocking, light teasing, or boyish laughter.

"Oh, um, all the regular ones, you know, Transfiguration, Potions, Charms, that stuff," she said, deciding to match his polite tone. "I also added Care of Magical creatures."

"Excellent, so did I," he said, smiling.

"I heard that Kettleburn's quite interesting," Lupin said. "I heard he got off badly with an experiment with Doxies, and that's how he lost some of his fingers!"

"Doxies?" asked Lily nervously. Five years in the magical world had not taught her everything there is to know.

"They're little buggers," James quickly said, eager to continue their pleasant conversation. "Like fairies, but blue, with these sharp little poison teeth. Mostly manageable with a freezing charm."

"Oh," Lily said awkwardly. She still was unsure of how to react to James.

"Oi!" Peter suddenly called out, pointing.

Lily turned and saw Severus had walked by. James and Sirius stood up and started after them.

"Come on Potter, grow up and leave him alone," Lily said, her usual tone of disgust dripping back into her voice. He was only charming when he wants to be, she realized. She felt stupid for believing for even half a second that he was decent.

He glanced down at her for a second, considering her. Just then, Severus appeared again.

"Well, if it isn't the _famous_ pretty boy Potter and his minions," Severus said, his voice heavy with sarcasm.

"I thought I smelled something disgusting," Sirius growled.

"Slither away, Snivellus," Potter mumbled.

Severus' eyes flicked from James to Lily. "I came here to speak with _my_ friend," he said, his sarcasm giving way to a challenging tone. "You know, the one who would rather hang out with _me_ than the Whomping Willow."

Before Lily could interrupt, wands were drawn and there were flashes of colors, shouts, and loud bangs.

When Lily's eyes adjusted, she screamed. Mary had a gnash going down her arm.

"MARY!"

She, Alice, and Emmeline rushed over to her. Mary was still in shock, which was perhaps a good thing; she didn't notice that blood was gushing down her robes.

"Here," Lily said soothingly, although her voice was shaking. She took her friend's arm and positioned it so that the wound was facing her. "It's okay, Mary, I'll have this fixed...it's a simple spell." Mary nodded dazedly.

"Episkey!"

Lily sighed in relief as she watched the wound close. She turned to round on the boys for being such idiots, but Alice's cry made her whip her head back around: the cut had re-opened.

"It's burning," Mary said softly.

"It's—it's okay!" Emmeline said, trying to stay calm.

"It's BURNING!" Mary now screamed. Lily's heart was fluttering in fear. What if she bled to death?

"WHAT DID YOU IDIOTS DO?" she yelled, tears now in her eyes. Mary's hand was digging into her wrist in pain. "This isn't regular magic!"

Severus suddenly stepped out from the doorway and pointed his wand towards Mary's wound.

"Hold _still_," he hissed. He muttered under his breath with an incantation that sounded almost like a song. The wound slowly healed and ceased bleeding. Without meeting anyone's eye, he swept out of the room.

"What the hell did he do to her?" Sirius barked angrily. "What the _hell_ was that spell?"

"I'm fine now," Mary said, blushing. She seemed ashamed of screaming out a few moments earlier.

"Tergo," Alice softly said, making the blood vanish off of Mary's robes.

"That was definitely dark magic," James said between clenched teeth. "I just cast a Jelly-Leg Jinx. That doesn't make people _bleed_."

"Yeah, Potter, but you just couldn't _resist_ starting something with him," Lily spat. "He just _walked_ by and you jumped up."

"He's the git, Lily...look what he did to your friend!"

Lily was quiet, unable to think of anything to say. She knew Severus had been aiming for Potter, not her innocent friend, but even Potter didn't deserve whatever that was.

"You alright?" Sirius asked Mary. She blushed deeply.

"Yeah."

"We'll get him back for that," Pettigrew promised.

"Yeah," Potter jumped in. "As soon as we can stock up on some more Dungbombs, he's ours."

Lily rolled her eyes. Even with her duty as a prefect, she couldn't bring herself to reprimand them when Mary was clearly enjoying the attention.

"I didn't hear that," Lupin said lightly, pretending to be reading Emmeline's _Witch Weekly_.


	11. Lovely day

**So this chapter is much shorter than the last one...sorry about that. I don't really have much else to say except: enjoy :) I might get around to writing and posting another chapter today. If not, you'll see one Tuesday. **

**UPDATE: I added on to this chapter...I forgot an essential scene straight from book #7!  
**

"Show me how to do it again one more time," Lily asked, stopping in front of the Gryffindor portrait hole.

"On you?" Severus asked, with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, it doesn't hurt!"

"_Levicorpus!_" Lily's world suddenly turned upside-down, and she felt as though she was being hung by one of her ankles. She grabbed her robes so that Severus wouldn't see her knickers and began giggling.

"This spell is so cool!"

"It would be a bit degrading, don't you think?" he asked, releasing her gently.

"I suppose," she said, smoothing out her robes and regaining her balance. She suddenly looked at him sharply. "Is that why you created it?"

He looked uncomfortable for a moment. "Potter could do with a little humiliation."

Lily shook her head, but was trying to repress a smile. "You two need to end this stupid feud—"

Severus opened his mouth angrily, but she continued.

"—He doesn't start it all of the time, Sev. I see you following them around, trying to get them in trouble."

"They're up to something!" he spat. "Always sneaking around at night...always during a _full moon_."

He looked at her meaningfully, but Lily brushed him off. "Sev, you're just letting your imagination go wild in hopes they are doing something stupid. Even _they_ aren't thick enough to run off with a werwolf."

Again, he looked like he wanted to retort, but she interrupted. "Look, Sev, I'm not on his side, don't worry. I have to go to bed though, it's late and I'm meeting Bertram Aubrey tomorrow early."

Severus looked sullen. "Fine. Do you still have enough time to meet Sunday to study for Defense Against the Dark Arts?" he asked, slightly sarcastically.

"Shut up, Sev. Of course I do."

"Goodnight."

"'G'night."

Lily muttered the Gyrffindor password and climbed through the portrait hole, a sudden exhaustion coming over her. Fifth years took the O.W.L.s at the end of the year, and her professors had kept them very busy in preparation. It was only the end of September, but she felt as though she'd crammed enough in her head for an entire year's worth of study.

On top of this, she had so many other obligations. She had done a good job so far of balancing studies, her prefect duties, and the Slug Club (from which she had just returned), but it was exhausting. She also had to make time for her friends and Severus.

Lily peeled off her green dress robes and collapsed in her bed. She was full and a little lightheaded; Professor Slughorn had served the members of his club pheasant with some excellent mulled mead during their small party tonight. He had also insisted on many toasts to Severus, for he was so impressed with the Levicorpus spell he had introduced, so Lily had drank more than she'd intended.

All Lily wanted to do was sleep until noon the next day—something which she hadn't had the luxury to do since summer holiday—but it seemed that as soon as she'd fallen asleep, she was being shaken awake by Alice.

"Lily, time to get up!" Alice said in a voice entirely too chipper for that early in the morning. "You asked me to wake you."

"Ugh," Lily groaned. "Gerroff me."

"Aubrey's meeting you soon," Alice reminded.

"Ugh," Lily repeated, slowly sitting up and allowing her eyes to adjust to the light. "Where's that Wit Sharpening potion I brewed the other day?"

"Here," Mary grumbled, motioning sleepily to her bedside dresser. "Used it Thursday night to stay up and study for that Charms exam."

Lily stumbled over and grabbed the jug. It was already half-emptied. She took a long swig and felt her senses sharpen, so that she was no longer sleepy but very aware.

"We're gonna need more of that soon," Mary said, sitting up and stretching.

"Yeah, I don't know how we'd get by if Slughorn didn't let me use his office," Lily said, moving around with quick motions to get ready for Hogsmeade.

Once she was properly cleaned and dressed, she went to the Great Hall with Alice to meet up with Bertram and Frank. Bertram was an attractive Ravenclaw in their year who was very intelligent; Lily had been very flattered when he'd asked her to accompany him to Hogsmeade during History of Magic the other day. He had bewitched a paper butterfly to flutter onto her desk and unfold, containing the note asking her out. She was very impressed and scribbled down "yes" without hesitation. She didn't stop to think, however, how Potter, who had been asking her out every other day, would react to the news.

"Evans!" Potter said, his tone all seriousness. "I heard you're going to Hogsmeade with that moron Bertram Aubrey."

"He's not a moron," Lily said simply, taking a seat at the Gryffindor table.

"Have you_ seen _him fly?" Potter continued.

"No, Potter, but I've seen him get straight O's on every assignment he's turned in," she continued, not meeting his eye, but instead focusing on putting jam on her toast.

"_I_ get O's on everything I turn in!"

"_When_ you turn things in," she said. "You don't do any work that makes you deserve O's."

"I _know_ it all already," he said, a hint of cockiness entering his tone. "I don't need to do all that extra work when I already know it!"

"Whatever, Potter. I'm going to Hogsmeade with Bertram and not you. I'm sure if you're that desperate you can find someone else to go with you."

He didn't look put off. "Well have a good time with egghead Aubrey," he said neutrally. "I'm sure you'll come crawling to me when you realize how dull he is."

Lily snorted into her pumpkin juice. "_Crawling_ to you, Potter? In your dreams."

He winked. "Always."

* * *

Lily was fuming, but doing her best to keep her anger under control. She _loathed_ when Potter was right.

"—Well, Lily, thank you for a lovely day," Aubrey said as they stopped at the entrance of the castle.

"Lovely day" was a grave exaggeration. Perhaps _he'd_ had a "lovely day," but Lily was bored out of her mind. Bertram was very intelligent, but, as Potter had forewarned, extremely dull. She hadn't had a conversation with him outside of class, and she had admitted to herself that she'd partially accepted his invitation because of the way Potter was glaring at her during class when Aubrey had sent the note.

"Yeah, thanks," she said, eager to get away.

"We should do this again next month," he said, stepping closer.

Distracted with plans of escape, Lily replied with a quick "maybe."

"You really are quite attractive," he said suddenly.

"—Erm, what?"

Before Lily could actually process what was happening, his lips crashed awkwardly onto hers.

"No, Aubrey!" she said, horrified, stepping away.

"I thought—"

"No, I like you very much _as a friend_," she said, her heart beating double time. _Gross gross gross_.

"Well, see you around," he said, embarrassed, and walking off quickly.

Lily turned on her heel to hurry towards the common room, praying that her friends were there. She needed to share her embarrassment with someone else. As she was halfway up a set of stairs, she heard a loud "AARRRGGGG!" come from behind her.

She quickly ran back the way she had come. It sounded like Aubrey's voice.

"WHAT THE HELL!" he yelled from around the corner.

"Do-not-lay-your-lips-on-her-again!" Potter yelled back.

Lily rounded the corner and stopped at the sight.

Potter was standing over Bertram with his wand out, and Bertram's head was grotesquely two sizes larger than usual, and still growing. Sirius and Peter were behind him, falling over each other laughing.

"What are you doing!" Lily said frantically. "Stop!"

"This _slimeball_ kissed you!" Potter said, as though he were doing her a favor.

"I can take care of it myself!" she yelled. "Stop engorging his head!"

"What's going on here?"

Everyone became silent at the sound of Filch's voice.

"Just having a spot of fun," Sirius said lightly. Lily realized that Peter was nowhere to be found; he had probably heard Filch before anyone else.

"DETENTION!" the embittered caretaker cried manically. "No magic in the hallways! Attacking a fellow student!"

James and Sirius grinned at each other. Lily, unable to stand their egos any longer, stormed off to the common room.

* * *

Lily hid her face in her hands as her friends burst out laughing.

"He _actually_ tried kissing you after giving you an hour long lecture on the Chief of Wizards' Council?" Emmeline said through giggles.

"Shut it," Lily said, turning red.

"At least he wasn't like those muggles at the beach," Mary said sympathetically, although repressing a smile.

"Oh no," Lily groaned, although she was smiling at the memory.

Bertram Aubrey was not, by any means, Lily's first kiss. She was extremely sought after by wizards and muggles alike. Over the summer, for example, she and Mary had taken a holiday to the beach with Lily's family and met two cute muggle boys. After a few awkward outings, the boys had felt it was time to make their moves, and simultaneously assailed Lily and Mary with their lips. The girls had ended up with citations from the Ministry for illegal underage magic because, due to shock, both had lost control of her magic; Mary had sent an electric shock through her boy, and Lily had managed to make hers shoot backwards, as though he had stepped on a bomb.

"I wonder," Alice continued thoughtfully, "how did James know Aubrey had kissed you?"

Lily looked confused. She hadn't had time to consider this.

"He and Black were probably hiding around a corner or something," she said. "I didn't see them at Hogsmeade, I'd assumed they'd stayed behind."

"No, we've been in the common room all day," said Emmeline. "We haven't seen them once."

"That's odd..." Lily said thoughtfully. The last thing she needed was James Potter to find a way to make himself invisible; he was bad enough when she could see him coming. She didn't need sneak attacks.

* * *

Lily strode across the castle courtyard angrily.

"I don't want to study with you anymore," Lily spat.

"I thought we were supposed to be friends?" Severus said. "Best friends?"

"We _are_, Sev, but I don't like some of the people you're hanging around with. I'm sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! _Mulciber_! What do you see in him Sev, he's creepy! D'you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?"

Lily had reached a pillar and leaned against it, looking up into the thin, sallow face. Of course Severus knew what Mulciber tried to do; the whole school knew. She had been walking back from the library alone, when she said Mulciber popped out from around the corner, wand out, and shouted something. Mary didn't remember what happened afterwards, but Black said he'd rounded the corner with Pettigrew and saw her floating in the air, eyes rolled back, with a slight glow about her. He'd stunned Mulciber and brought Mary to the hospital wing, where she awoke three days later, no memory of anything.

"That was nothing," said Snape. "it was a laugh, that's all—"

"It was Dark Magic, and if you think that's funny—"

"What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?" demanded Severus. His color rose again as he said it, unable to hold in his resentment.

"What's Potter got to do with anything?" said Lily.

"They sneak out at night. There's something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?"

"He's ill," defended Lily. "They say he's ill—"

"Every month at the full moon?" suggested Severus.

"I know your theory," said Lily coldly. "Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they're doing at night?"

"I'm just trying to show you that they're not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are."

Lily blushed under the intensity of his gaze, but she wasn't sure why. She did disapprove of their antics, but they were brilliant.

"They don't use Dark Magic, though." She dropped her voice. "And you're being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever's down there—"

Severus' whole face contorted and he spluttered, "Saved? Saved? You think that he was plaing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends' too! You're not going to—I won't let you—"

"_Let_ me? _Let_ me?"

Lily's eyes were slits. Severus backtracked at once.

"I didn't mean—I just don't want to see you made a fool of—He fancies you, James Potter fancies you!" The words seemed wrenched from him agains this will. "And he's not...everyone thinks...bit quidditch her—"

Severus' bitterness and dislike were rendering him incoherent, and Lily's eyebrows were traveling father and father up her forehead.

"I know James Potter's an arrogant toerag," she said, cutting across Severus. "I don't need you to tell me that. But Mulciber's and Avery's idea of humor is just evil. _Evil_, Sev. I don't understand how you can be friends with them."

He didn't respond. He didn't seem to have listened past the word "toerag." She sighed.

"Fine, Sev, we can still meet up to study. Just keep me away from those friends of yours."


	12. What about the Order?

**Go me...I managed another chapter today! I really enjoyed writing this one...I hope you enjoy reading it :) Don't expect to be spoiled like this all week...I have an insane amount of work and stuff to do...hopefully I can get something out Tuesday. Believe me, if I could, I'd sit around writing Harry Potter stories all day. Enjoy & review!**

"Now Miss Evans, what do you plan to do after graduation?"

"Er—" Lily said hesitantly. She actually had no clue. "What _can_ I do?"

McGonagall smiled, looking over Lily's records.

"Well, you've received top marks in everything. I've noticed you've had to put a little extra effort into my Transfiguration classes, but Professor Slughorn often boasts of your natural excellence in Potions."

Lily nodded impatiently. She already knew this. She wanted to get right to the point so that she could finish up a History of Magic essay (two feet on the historical evolution of Quidditch. Potter and Black nearly wet themselves when Binns announced it) and have time for a spot of decent sleep. She and her friends had been relying too heavily on her Wit-Sharpening potions and were beginning to see some strange side effects. Mary complained of everything being too loud for a week, while Emmeline experienced such an adrenaline rush that she didn't sleep for four days straight. Lily and Alice had finally forced her to the Hospital Wing, where Madame Pomfrey administered a very powerful sleeping draught to her. Lily had yet to experience any severe side effects, but she'd decided to try to cut back on the Wit-Sharpening potion and try actual sleep instead.

"Well," continued McGonagall, "one profession that relies heavily on potion-making is Healing. Although, you do need an "Outstanding" in Transfiguration, if you're willing to do the extra work. You shouldn't have trouble achieving it in Potions and Charms. I don't know how comfortable you are with Herbology and Defense Against the Dark Arts, although your records suggest you can achieve it."

Lily was quiet for a moment, thinking. She could easily get the required O's on Charms and Potions, and she certainly was far from struggling with Herbology and DADA. She'd managed near perfect marks on Transfiguration, although McGonagall was right in pointing out that she had to devote extra hours to achieve that.

"I suppose," Lily said. "I've never given it thought. I could do that, though."

McGonagall nodded, flicking her wand and summoning a few pamphlets. "That is certainly not your only option, however. Any department in the Ministry would, I'm sure, love to have you. There's the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, International Magical Cooperation, Magical Creatures—"

"Professor?" Lily interrupted timidly. She had a question weighing on her mind, and now, she realized, was probably the only opportunity she had to bring it up.

"Yes?"

"What about—what about the Order of the Phoenix?"

Lily held her breath as she watched McGonagall's lips form a thin line and her nostrils flared.

"_Who told you about the Order_?" she said in an urgent whisper, leaning towards Lily.

Lily hesitated. Slughorn had warned her it was a secret group, but she wasn't sure how much trouble he would be in for telling her. She decided that it was best just to be truthful.

"Professor Slughorn mentioned it to me the other week," she said, sitting up straight and looking McGonagall in the eye. She wasn't sure how to go about being inducted into it, but she knew that she wanted in.

"Horace should _not_ go running his mouth to students about the Order!" McGonagall ranted angrily. In Lily's five and a half years of experience, she'd never seen McGonagall this angry. "Does he realize he is endangering the lives of those—?"

"He only told me," Lily assured quickly. "We were having a discussion about Vol—I mean—You-Know-Who. I was telling him that the Ministry is a bunch of idiots who don't know what they're doing, and he said it sounded like I should talk to Dumbledore about joining the Order after graduating."

McGonagall softened a bit. She gave Lily a piercing look, and sighed.

"I suppose if he had to run his mouth, its best he chose _you_," she said. Lily felt the full force of the compliment and smiled modestly. "The Order is only a few years old. Dumbledore started it to get inside information on You-Know-Who, since the Ministry becomes less trustworthy every day." She paused. "I suppose I could discuss your interest with Professor Dumbledore, if you're serious about it."

Lily's heart fluttered. "I'd like that very much."

"But don't depend on him allowing you to fight," McGonagall cautioned. "He might not want someone so young—fresh out of Hogwarts—to join."

Lily nodded, still happy that McGonagall thought her worthy enough to join a secret society that Dumbledore himself hand-picked.

"And," began McGonagall more sternly. "Under no circumstances will you tell anyone about this. You know to whom I'm referring."

Lily nodded again, knowing she meant Emmeline, Alice, and Mary.

"Please, consider other, less dangerous options, first," McGonagall said, pushing the Healer pamphlets towards Lily.

* * *

"Potter, _please_," Lily begged, hating herself as the words came out of her mouth.

"I told you my demands," he teased. "Let's see how bad you want that O."

"Fine," she huffed, turning to his companion. "Black?"

Black threw up his hands and shook his head.

"You think I'd deprive my mate of the snog he's been dreaming of forever?" he said, grinning over at James as he turned red and uncomfortably ran his hand through his hair.

"Hopeless, all of you," she said, throwing up her hands in frustration. "I'll just go send an owl to Severus and hope it gets to him in time..."

"No need for that," Potter said suddenly. "I was only joking with you Lily, of course I'll help you."

Lily sighed in relief. She had completely forgotten about her homework to practice vanishing vertebrates, and had come back from a Slug Club meeting too late to ask her usual friends for help. Of course, the Maurders were the only ones awake. She also noticed that they seemed to fly through Transfiguration with ease, so she might actually benefit from some help.

"Good," she said in her best effort of a friendly tone. "Thanks."

They stood awkwardly for a moment, waiting for the other to make a first move.

"Well," said Sirius loudly. "It's getting late. We should be off to bed. Mooney, Wormtail?"

They other two nodded and got up, flashing grins at Potter, much to the discomfort of Lily. Once they were alone, Potter motioned to the seat next to him. Lily sat reluctantly.

"Please don't mess around," she begged. "I really need to get to bed soon."

"I won't," he said, to Lily's relief, seriously. "So, let me see what you can do."

Lily nodded, drawing her wand, and then sitting there stupidly. She suddenly realized she hadn't brought anything to practice with.

Potter seemed to realize this at the same time.

"It's okay...here."

He pulled out _History of Magic_ and quickly transfigured it to a ferret.

"Oh, but don't you need that?" Lily said worriedly. "I'm going to vanish it!"

Potter grinned. "How many times do you think I've opened this?"

Lily sighed, but was still reluctant.

"It's fine. I'll borrow Sirius' if I need it," he assured her.

Lily nodded. She raised her wand and said, "_evanesco!_"

To her disappointment, the ferret was still quite there, trying desperately to escape from Potter's grasp.

"You're not very enthusiastic," Potter noted.

"Sorry, I'll try again. _EVANESCO!_"

The ferret let out a small squeal. Lily looked down at it, and saw that she had vanished just its fur.

"That was—" Potter stopped mid sentence, concealing his laughter with coughs. Lily appreciated the effort to hide it.

"Oh go on, it _does_ look ridiculous," she said with a grin.

She and Potter burst out laughing as they watched the naked ferret wander the common room, eliciting strange looks from the straggle of late-night studiers.

"_Accio_ hairless ferret!" Potter said, catching the ferret easily.

Lily began laughing again at the spell Potter had just cast. He flashed her a grin.

"You don't want to actually vanish it, do you?" he said suddenly.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, her laughter dying away.

"Well, I assume you know _where_ vanished things go," he said.

"'Into non-being, which is to say, everything,'" she recited from their Transfiguration notes.

"Exactly," he said. "You're scared of vanishing it."

Lily was quiet and looked at the ferret. She hadn't had a problem with vanishing inanimate objects, but to vanish something that was _alive_ into non-being, a state which she knew nothing about...

"It's so cute," she pouted. "What if it hurts?"

"It won't hurt," he assured her with a comforting smile. He grabbed a piece of discarded parchment and vanished it quickly. "It's part of _everything_ now. Are you hurting?"

"No."

"Do you think this couch is hurting?"

"Maybe with _your_ big head it has to support," she teased.

He smiled. "See, so it can't possibly hurt to be vanished."

Lily nodded. Potter made sense.

"_Evanesco!"_ With one last twitch of its nose, the naked ferret disappeared into thin air.

"It's probably a _relief_ for it," Potter said with a grin. "It was probably humiliated by its nakedness."

Lily smiled. "Thanks, Potter."

"No problem, Evans."

They were quiet for a minute. Lily kept glancing at him out of the corner of her eye, watching him twirl his wand between his fingers. It looked very familiar...

"Oh, I tried that one out at Ollivander's," she said, pointing to his wand. "Mahogony, with the whisker of a transformed werewolf."

James raised his eyebrows. Lily wasn't sure why she was telling him about it, but she kept going.

"I liked it...a spark even flew out of the end when I'd tried it. He said it was very good for transfiguration," she continued, suddenly feeling stupid. She was rambling. "No wonder you're better than me...you have a wand advantage!"

He smiled. "Come off it, it didn't choose you," he teased. "It knew its superior talents would be wasted on you."

She shrugged indifferently. "Maybe."

They fell silent again. Lily went back to watching James out of the corner of her eye, peeking out from behind the sheet of her hair. He really _was_ quite cute, when he wasn't spewing his usual rants about how great he was, or bothering her about going out with him. She realized that she had rarely seen him without his fellow Maurders; maybe it was an act for them.

"Lil—" She looked up sharply at her name, her heart suddenly off beat. Before he could continue, however, they were interrupted.

"Oy, Prongs, did you snog her yet?"

Lily looked around for the source of Black's whispered voice, but was unable to detect him. Her frustration with the lot, including Potter, came seeping back.

Potter glanced uneasily at her for a second, looked over his shoulder, and replied to seemingly thin air, "Nah, but its only so long before she has to give in to her temptations."

"_Temptations_, Potter?" she spat, suddenly disgusted. She was reminded of one of their first encounters on the Hogwarts Express, when he had kindly explained what Doxies were, and suddenly reverted back into his old self at the sight of prey (in that case, Severus).

"I saw the way you were looking at me, Evans," he winked. She took a deep breath, willing herself not to give him the satisfaction of blushing. She was mortified with herself for even considering he was a decent person.

"I was just thinking of the best way to curse you," she said, forcefully pulling out her wand. "_Furnunculus!_"

Lily didn't even stay around to watch the success of her spell, which should cause Potter to break out in large, red boils. She knew it had, indeed, been effective when she heard Lupin, Black, and Pettigrew break out in laughter.

"Mate, you must've _really_ pissed her off this time," Black choked out in laughter. "You look like an oversized gnome!"

Potter brought out the _worst _in her; she never went around cursing people. She slammed her door before she could hear more.


	13. Snivellus

**Sorry, I know I promised an update yesterday, but I had a crisis (parents didn't pay phone bill, thus my phone service is suspended. _Crisis_.). This chapter is super, super long, so I hope that makes up for it :) I'm currently skipping class so I could get this out sooner! Also, huge shoutout to hideyowifehideyokids for pointing out my mistake with the OWL grades last chapter...Lily Evans would certainly not settle for E's. You are NOT super annoying, hideyowifehideyokids, I need my reviewers to keep me in line :P Anyways, its fixed. Enjoy, and review :)**

**ps. the post-exam scene should be recognized as Rowling's  
**

"I'm going to go insane," Emmeline declared, standing up and tossing her notes aside.

The four Gryffindor fifth year girls had been studying all Saturday. Their O.W.L exams began Monday, and there was no time to be wasted. Lily put aside her notes as well, feeling a huge weight lifted from her chest.

"Yeah, I'm not even comprehending this anymore," Mary joined in, standing up to stretch.

"I'm starving," Alice moaned.

"James brags all the time about getting into the kitchens," Emmeline said enviously.

"Good for him," Lily said sarcastically. "Glad he's reaping the benefits of breaking every school rule possible."

"Come off it, you'd go into the kitchens if you knew how," Mary said, smiling.

"I'd give _anything_ for a mouthful of treacle tart," groaned Emmeline, theatrically rubbing her stomach.

"Lily," said Alice slowly. "I bet Potter would tell you how to get into the kitchens."

"No!" Lily said quickly. "I am _never _asking Potter for anything again. He managed to make our Transfiguration studying out to be some kind of date that he gets snogged at the end for."

"Please," Emmeline begged desperately. For good measure, she threw herself down onto her knees in front of Lily. "Put your pride aside for one second and think of your best mates!"

"Why don't you go ask him, then?"

"Because, in case you haven't noticed, it's well after midnight," Emmeline shot back. "Like hell he'll wake up for anyone _but_ you."

Lily sighed. "Do you realize what you're asking me to do? Go up into _James Potter's_ room, wake him up, and ask him to tell me where the kitchens are, so that we can sneak illegally out into the castle and nick food?"

Her three friends nodded enthusiastically.

"I don't understand why you won't just ask him, he's on good terms with you," Lily argued to Emmeline.

"Because, Evans, he'll _hex_ me for waking him up."

Lily pondered this. She wouldn't put it past him. With one last glance to her friends' hopeful faces, she sighed. "Fine." They knew she'd do anything for them.

She tried to keep a stern face, but it was impossible when her friends erupted into cheers. They had hardly had any time for sleep, let alone fun, and Lily couldn't see why they shouldn't have an adventure of sneaking out to the kitchens. It was innocent enough.

"If I'm not back in ten minutes, I want a rescue team," she said in mock seriousness. "I hope your dueling spells are up to par."

"Oh shut it and stop stalling," Mary said, giving Lily a playful push towards the boy's dormitories.

Lily took a deep breath. Never in her five years had she had occasion to step foot on the boy's side. She silently tip-toed up the stairs and looked for the sign marked "Fifth Years."

She stopped in front of the heavy, oak door, deliberating. Should she knock? Surely they were asleep, but she never knew. She lightly tapped on the door and waited. Nothing. She knocked a little louder and listened intently. Not a sound. With another deep breath, she pushed opened the door.

She was met with darkness. This was actually a relief; she wasn't sure what boys did behind closed doors, and she didn't particularly want to find out. She let the door close silently behind her and stood, again stuck. Which bed was James'? She figured his roommates would be less forgiving if she woke one of them.

"_Lumos_" she whispered. The light from the tip of her wand was blinding, so she muffled it with her robes, so that there was a dull glow instead. She crept over to the first bed, and saw the unmistakable brown-grey head of Remus. She tried the next bed over, and was relieved, for once in her life, to see Potter. She conjured the image of her friends' eager faces in her mind to work up courage for what she was about to do.

"Potter," she whispered into the darkness. He didn't respond.

"Potter," she repeated, bringing her face closer to the ear poking out of a head of messy black hair. This time he grunted, but fell silent a moment later. She was beginning to get frustrated.

"_Potter_," she repeated, poking him on the arm.

"Whadda ya want?" he grumbled incoherently.

"Potter, it's _me_. We need your help."

These seemed to be the magic words. He shot up, squinted at her, and wildly reached for his glasses.

"_Evans_!" he said, suddenly alert. "What are you doing?"

"Prongs, what did I say about keeping your large mouth _shut_ while you're dreaming," Sirius' voice said thickly from the other bed. Lily chose to ignore this.

"We—er—wanted to get into the kitchens," she said sheepishly.

Potter stared at her for a moment, as if trying to solve a puzzle.

"You want to get into the kitchens," he repeated.

"That's it, Prongs," Sirius' voice said again, this time more awake. There was a quick wooshing sound, and the pillow directed at James flew over him and smacked into Lily.

"Ow!" she cried out, stumbling to the floor as she tripped over a pair of shoes. She hit the floor with a loud "thud."

"What is going on?" Remus groaned.

"_Lumos_."

Light blinded Lily's eyes, and as they adjusted, she saw she was looking up at Potter.

"Blimey, it really _is_ Evans!" Sirius exclaimed. He no longer sounded annoyed. "Oi, Wormtail, get up, we have a _lady_ guest!"

"No, no, no, go back to sleep," Lily said frantically, grabbing Potter's hand and standing back up. "I just needed a word with Potter."

As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized she'd said the wrong thing.

"A word with Prongs?" Remus asked skeptically, a small smile playing on his lips.

"At half past midnight?" Black continued, shamelessly grinning.

"We just wanted to know how to get into the bloody kitchens," Lily said defensively.

"We?"

"Alice, Emmeline, and Mary, who do you think?" she said quickly.

"Sure," said Black teasingly. "Then were are they? I think you just wanted to hop into James' bed and cast a little _silencio_ spell..."

"Come off it," she spat. "Emmeline thought Potter would curse her if _she_ came up."

"So you're using my preference of you to your advantage," Potter said with raised eyebrows.

Lily blushed in the darkness, but was saved from coming up with an excuse when Remus said, "Well, she's got to reap some kind of benefits from your harassment."

They all laughed, including James and Lily.

"Will you guys tell me where to go?" she asked.

"We don't do anything for free," Peter chimed in. His friends nodded in assent. Lily didn't like the sound of that.

"No, I am _not_ snogging Potter," she said quickly.

"Where's your mind?" Potter said with a grin. "We were going to just ask for some Cauldron Cakes...but now that you mention it..."

"In the basement, below the Great Hall. Tickle the pear in the bowl of fruit painting," Remus said quickly.

"Aw, Mooney, you ruined all our fun!" Sirius whined.

"Thanks, Remus," Lily said with a wink.

"Hey!" Potter said indignantly. "What about me?"

"You were just going to torture me," she said, smiling.

"No, I _was_ going to give you something to make sure you're not caught," he said, waving an old piece of parchment in front of her.

"James," said Black, suddenly serious.

Lily's attention was piqued. What could they have that Black didn't want her to see?

"Don't be stupid, Prongs," Peter cut in.

"She won't tell anyone," James said to his friends. "Let them use it!"

"As soon as you do something stupid to make her mad, she's off running to Dumbledore with it," Sirius said harshly.

"Excuse me, I'm standing right here," Lily said, waving her hand in front of Black's face. "When have I ever turned you in to Dumbledore?"

The room was tense for a moment, and then—

"Lily!"

Everyone whipped around at Emmeline's cry.

"You're safe!" Mary said.

"We thought that they hexed you for sure," Alice said.

"I'm fine," Lily said, smiling. "Has it been ten minutes?"

They nodded.

"Hey!" Sirius said, affronted. "We have our priorities straight. We don't hex Gryffindors. Especially attractive Gryffindors."

Lily rolled her eyes as he winked at Mary, and she blushed like a fool.

"Enough of that, I've found out what we need," Lily said, giving up hope on the mystery of the frayed parchment and turning to go.

"Don't forget our Cauldron Cakes!" Potter called after them.

* * *

Lily rubbed her temples as she stared down at her Defense Against the Dark Arts exam, ensuring that she had answered every question. She'd passed the practical part easily, and the writing had seemed simple enough. It seemed too simple, in fact, and she was sure that she'd forgotten something...

"Five more minutes!" Professor Flitwick squeaked from across the Great Hall. Lily frantically moved her eyes over her inches and inches of parchment, but could barely comprehend anything; it was nearing the end of exams and she had exhausted most of her brain power. Giving up, she glanced over her shoulder to check on her friends. Alice's round face was contorted into a serious expression as she quickly scribbled extra words here and there. Emmeline had already flipped her parchment upside down and was impatiently tapping her foot and flipping her quill around in her hand, clearly ready to leave. Lily tried to catch Mary's eye from across the Hall, but she was seated directly behind Sirius and too busy eying him hopefully.

"Quills down, please!" squeaked Professor Flitwick again. "That means you too, Stebbins!"—Lily glared over at the Hufflepuff boy next to her who had been straining his neck the entire hour trying to get a glance at her paper—"Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _Accio_!"

More than a hundred rolls of parchment zoomed into the air and into Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him backward off his feet. Out of respect, Lily resisted the strong urge to join in with the several who laughed. A couple of students at the front desks got up, took hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows, and lifted him onto his feet again.

"Thank you...thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

Lily quickly grabbed her bag and rushed over to meet Alice, Emmeline, and Mary.

"I'm so glad that's over," sighed Emmeline.

"One more to go," Lily said with a sigh. "Transfiguration's going to be the worst."

"Nothing could be worse than that History of Magic exam," reminded Mary. "My hand didn't uncramp for _hours_."

Lily kept her eyes focused on her friends as they brushed by Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew.

"I could only remember four signs of a werewolf," complained Alice. "I'd _just_ looked at the notes before the test, too!"

They stepped outside the front doors with the rest of the crowd and into the beautiful, spring sunlight. Lily caught sight of Severus, but his nose was buried in his exam questions. Lily noticed that the Maurders were also heading in the same direction; but was relieved when they stopped in the shade of a beech tree on the edge of the lake. She motioned to the bank to her friends, who followed her lead. They peeled their shoes and socks off and stuck their feet in.

"Oy, Mary," Emmeline said abruptly, drawing Lily's attention back to her friends and away from avoiding Potter. "We _just_ got out of that exam...put your notes away for two seconds."

Lily smiled at her goofy friends and closed her eyes, taking in the sunlight. Her momentary peace was interrupted by gasps and applause coming from Pettigrew behind her. She turned her head slightly and saw that he was watching Potter with his mouth agape. Potter had a snitch—probably nicked against the rules—and was allowing it to fly as much as a foot away before seizing it again. Every time he made a particularly difficult catch, Wormtail gasped and applauded.

"Typical Potter," she muttered to herself.

"What's that?" asked Alice.

"Look at him," Lily said, tilting her head in the boys' direction. "He's sitting there soaking up all of Pettigrew's adoration. He needs to tell Peter to get a grip on himself."

"Of course, complaining about Potter again," Emmeline teased.

"Oh shut it," Lily snapped. "Just because you all are too thick to see what he really is."

"It's such a beautiful day, and it's our first free time in forever," Mary said. "Don't let him ruin it for you."

Lily sighed. "I suppose."

Lily and her friends were each in their own quiet reveries for a few moments, until shouts interrupted them.

"All right Snivellus?" Lily heard Potter say loudly.

Lily turned to see Severus react quickly, dropping his bag. He plunged his hand inside his robes and his wand was halfway into the air when Potter shouted, "_Expelliarmus_!"

Severus' wand flew twelve feet into the air and fell with a little thud in the grass behind him. Black let out a bark of laughter.

"_Impedimenta,_" he said, pointing his wand at Severus, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

Everyone around had turned to watch as well. Some had even gotten to their feet and were edging nearer. Some of them looked apprehensive, and to Lily's disgust, others looked entertained.

Severus laid panting on the ground. Potter and Black advanced on him, wands raised, Potter glancing over towards Lily and her friends as he went. Lily, having had enough, angrily began shoving her shoes back onto her feet.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" mocked Potter.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Black viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laughed. Lily knew Sev was unpopular, but no one deserved this. She gave an extra forceful tug at her laces, moving as quickly as possible.

"You - wait," he painted, staring up at Potter with an expression of purest loathing, something Lily couldn't even achieve. "You - wait!"

"Wait for what?" Black said coolly. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Severus let out a scream of mixed, incoherent swear words and hexes, but with his wand ten feet away nothing happened.

"Wash out your mouth," said Potter coldly. "_Scourgify_!"

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Severus' mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him—

"Leave him ALONE!"

Potter and Sirius looked around at Lily. Potter's free hand immediately jumped to his hair. She violently brushed her hair from her face, giving them her best death glare.

"All right, Evans?" Potter said, his tone suddenly pleasant, deeper, and more mature.

"Leave him alone," Lily repeated, directing her glare of dislike to him. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," said Potter, deliberating. "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..."

Many surrounding students laughed, Black and Pettigrew included, but Lupin, intent on his book, didn't, and nor did Lily.

"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just and arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said Potter quickly. "Go on...go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Lily was disgusted that he was doing this now.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Black briskly, and turned back to Severus. "OI!"

But too late; Severus had directed his wand straight at Potter; there was a flash of light and a gash appeared on the side of Potter's face, spattering his robes with blood. Lily, with horror, recognized this spell as the one Mary had accidentally been hit with. Potter whirled about: a second flash of light later, Severus was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

Many people in the small crowd cheered; Potter, Black, and Pettigrew roared with laughter.

Lily repressed the urge to smile; Severus _had_ just used that horrible cutting spell against Potter. The levicorpus spell was harmless in comparison. However, out of respect for her friend and spite for Potter, she regained control of her facial muscles and contorted them into a disapproving scowl.

"Let him down!"

"Certainly," said Potter smoothly, and he jerked his wand upwards; Severus fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes, he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Black said "_perfectus totalus_!" and Severus keeled over again, rigid as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She pulled her own wand out now. Potter and Black eyed it warily; they had seen her use it quite effectively before.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," Potter said earnestly.

"Take the curse off him, then!"

Potter sighed deeply, then turned to Severus and muttered the counter-curse.

"There you go," he said as Severus struggled to his feet. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus—"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Lily blinked. She couldn't believe her ears.

"Fine," she said coolly, masking her hurt. "I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

She'd never called him that before, but it was about twenty times better than what he'd just called her.

"Apologise to Evans!" Potter roared at Severus, his wand pointed threateningly at him.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologise," Lily shouted, rounding on Potter. "You're as bad as he is!"

"What?" yelped Potter. "I'd NEVER call you a—you-know-what!"

'Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.'

She turned on her heel and hurried away, trying desperately to hold in her tears.

"Evans!" she heard Potter shout after her. "Hey, EVANS!"


	14. Save your breath

**Hello...sorry it took so long to update! I want to do twice a week, but in reality it will probably be just once a week. I also added a small section at the end of chapter 10...its a scene of JK's that I completely forgot (but its not too important to the plot line fortunately). Also, the beginning of this chapter should be recognized as JK's. Anyways, enjoy :)**

"I'm sorry!"

"I'm not interested."

"I'm sorry!"

"Save your breath."

It was nighttime. Lily was standing in her dressing gown, arms folded and standing in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here," Lily said coldly.

"I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just—"

"Slipped out?" Lily felt no pity. "It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends—" she paused, giving him an opportunity to interject, but he just looked away uneasily "—you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?"

He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.

"I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine."

"No—listen, I didn't mean—"

"—to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth a Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?"

He struggled on the verge of speech, but with a contemptuous look she turned and climbed back through the portrait hole, leaving him in the dark hallway.

"What'd he want?" Mary asked, attempting to keep her voice polite.

Lily sank down into an armchair.

"He said he was sorry," she said shortly.

"And you believed him?" Emmeline burst out in blatant disbelief.

"Listen Lily, we've been meaning to talk to you about him—" Alice began.

"I didn't!" she snapped. "D'you think I'm thick?"

"You've been thick for the past five years," Emmeline insisted bluntly.

Lily glared at her, but didn't argue back. Her friends, she'd realized, had been right about him.

"He wasn't bad to begin with," Lily said softly.

Mary looked up from her Transfiguration notes sympathetically.

"You're just too nice," she said. "Don't worry about it. I think you're a better person for liking someone like Severus when no one else does, because you saw whatever good might be in him. I wish I were more like that."

Alice and Emmeline nodded in consent. Lily attempted a smile, but her face was too contorted from fighting back tears.

They fell quiet for a moment, and Lily reflected on how lucky she was to have Mary, Alice, and Emmeline as her friends. The lump in her throat soon disappeared, and she was able to speak.

"Alright, I'm going to cast a muffiato charm for myself so I can study without distractions. Any last words?"

"Don't be gone too long!"

"I'll miss you."

"James Potter's walking over here, I'd go ahead and hurry up with that if I were you."

Lily involuntarily turned at Alice's words. Sure enough, Potter was making his way over. She quickly turned back around, hoping he hadn't noticed her noticing him, tapped her head with her wand and muttered "_Muffiato_."

A dull, pleasant buzzing filled her ears and she instantly relaxed, relieved at the quietness. She turned her eyes down at her transfiguration book, determinedly ignoring Potter.

After a few moments, a hand flew in front of her face. She jumped, causing her book to fall to the floor and for her to lose her page. She shot an angry glance at the owner of the hand; Potter, of course.

He began speaking, and Lily watched her friends try to explain. He ignored them, and turned back to Lily. She couldn't hear him, but it was clear from the wrinkle in his forehead and the small frown on his face that he was referencing what had happened with Severus by the lake a few hours prior.

Lily, however, had no interest in speaking with him. She herself had said that he was as bad as Severus, and if she wasn't talking to what had been one of her best friends, she surely wouldn't pay Potter any special treatment.

She glared at him once more, picked up her book, and turned her eyes back to the page about animating inanimate objects. She hadn't read two words before his hand blocked her vision again.

Lily was on her last nerve. She took out her wand and pointed it threateningly directly between his eyes. He watched her warily, but made no defensive motion. Instead, he shot her one last pleading look, and sauntered off.

This was extremely odd behavior for Potter, Lily realized. His normal self would have whipped out his wand and taken the charm off of Lily, forcing her to listen. He didn't even try to defend himself against her wand, when earlier that afternoon he and Black had threatened to hex her; "_Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you,"_ he'd said.

She turned to her friends to see if they'd noticed what had just transpired, and they just shrugged their shoulders.

Lily turned back to her notes. It was really getting late and she had yet to fully memorize the theory behind animation. Moments later, she was interrupted again by a piece of parchment, folded into a small paper airplane, that landed on her book. She looked up, and, sure enough, Potter was intently watching her. She held up the note so that he could see, prodded it with her wand, and let it fall to the floor as it erupted into small flames.

* * *

Lily hooked arms with Emmeline and Mary, Alice on the end of their chain. They hurried across the grass to huddle into a carriage, charmed so that it was pulled by an invisible force. They were on their way back to the Hogwarts Express for summer holiday, and the atmosphere was much like that of Platform 9 3/4 at the beginning of the year. The regular loud chatter was replaced with hushed whispers throughout the crowd.

"..._two hundred_ Muggles?"

"...no one even arrested..."

"...disgusting..."

Lily held Mary's hand tightly as they took a seat next to each other and across from Alice and Emmeline. Mary was shaking.

"They're fine," Lily said firmly, hoping the confidence in her voice would be infectious. "The Ministry sent you the letter. Their memories are modified, and they'll forget it happened."

"I won't forget it happened!" she burst out. "I will not ever forget that my parents came that close to death."

Lily pulled her friend to her shoulder and gently ran her hand over her curls as Mary began to sob for what seemed like the tenth time that morning. The girls had seen the Daily Prophet headline first— "200 Muggles Dead in He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's Deadliest Attack Yet." Lily and Mary poured over the article, their families in mind. Mary had let out a gasp; the attack happened at a football game her parents were planning on attending. Immediately after, an owl dropped a letter from the Ministry of Magic, addressed to Mary.

"_Miss MacDonald-_

_Your parents were involved in the attack by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and his followers. They have been treated at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries for minor injuries and are returned safely to their home. Be advised that the Department of Magical Law Enforcement has placed memory charms on Mr. and Mrs. MacDonald, and they will have no recollection of the incident. Any reference to it will severely distress them, so do not mention the subject._

_Barty Crouch_

_Head of Department of Magical Law Enforcement"_

This had not calmed Mary. The idea that her parents had been attacked was still fresh in her mind.

"We're not safe anywhere!" she continued hysterically as their carriage came to a stop at the platform where they were to board the Hogwarts Express.

"Hogwarts is the—"

"—safest place on earth," Mary finished Alice's sentence sarcastically. "That's all fine and good, but what do I do for the months I'm not here? What do my parents do?"

Lily placed a hand on Mary's shoulder.

"Shh, we're about to get on the train. You'll have to keep it down if you don't want questions."

Mary nodded. Lily knew that she was the only one who Mary would listen to. Although they were quite close with Alice and Emmeline, Mary and Lily shared a unique bond. Perhaps it was that they had met before the other two, or that they were both Muggle-borns, or just that they had the same amiable temperaments. Emmeline was outspoken sometimes to the point of brashness, while Alice was very logical and assertive. Mary and Lily were mild-tempered and generally kind (although Lily was known to be very cruel to the few people who managed to cross her).

They boarded the train and entered the first empty compartment they could find.

"What am I supposed to do?" Mary continued, placing her face in her hands. Lily resumed her place by her best friend's side and laid her hand on her back.

"Listen, Mary," Alice said seriously. "I'll have a chat with my dad. I'll ask him to put some protective charms on your parent's house and check in on them every now and then."

Mary looked up at her from her hands, eyes puffy and red.

"Really, you think he'd do that?"

"Of course he would," Alice said, smiling. "I only wish I'd thought of it before. Yours too, of course, Lily."

Lily nodded. She'd completely forgotten about her parents the past few hours. Although they don't follow football, it easily could have been them. What if Voldemort had chosen to attack a shopping mall instead?

Just then, the compartment door slid open.

"Potter, not now," Lily said immediately upon spotting the familiar head of messy black hair. "_Really_ not now."

Potter and Black glanced uncomfortably around, lingering on Mary and her hastily dried tears.

"Listen," Black said quickly. "We heard what happened. We just wanted to come—"

"—and say we're sorry, and if you need anything..." Potter trailed off awkwardly, glancing from Lily to his shoes repeatedly.

Lily wasn't sure what to say. She was fighting with her impulse to shoo them, but at the same time recognized their kindness.

"You know," continued Black, breaking the silence, and a small grin creeping onto his face. "In case you ladies need some strapping men to protect you."

Potter wasn't grinning, but he definitely stood up straighter and stuck his chest out.

Lily decided to let the cockiness slide due to their momentary kindness.

"Thanks," whispered Mary.

Black winked at her as they left the compartment.

"That was very _mature_ of them," Emmeline commented, giving Lily a significant look.

"I suppose," Lily said lightly, pulling one of Emmeline's old _Witch Weekly's_ out of her bag. "Although, we've endured millions of immature moments per mature moment with that lot."


	15. The Stag

**Hi, finally an update! I just want to say I really really really love this chapter, and I may or may not have teared up a bit while writing part of it. You know what else I really really love? Your reviews :) You guys are the best, and I hope you enjoy this as much as I did!**

"Ooh, what've they got over there?" Emmeline squealed.

Lily looked up from the chapter on Everlasting Elixers in her Potions book. Across the grounds, Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew were surrounded by a group of cooing girls. She squinted closer, and saw that they were surrounding a great, black dog.

"He's got a dog," Lily noted. "Which is against the rules. Of course Lupin isn't saying anything..."

"Oh come off it, it's not in the castle," Emmeline replied. "Let's go take a look."

Lily opened her mouth to argue, but Mary and Alice looked keen on the idea. Lily wasn't one to deny her friends some fun.

"Oh fine, I suppose it couldn't hurt."

Lily snapped her book shut and grabbed her bag. She giggled when she noticed Emmeline practically skipping towards the dog.

"Oh, Potter, where'd you get him?" she cooed, sitting on the ground and beckoning the dog over. It sniffed her gingerly, but after a moment decided to bound over to Mary. She was tackled to the ground and laughed as it licked her face.

"Dunno, I guess he wandered onto the grounds," he said casually, but Lily noticed he winked at Lupin, who rolled his eyes in return.

She watched the dog warily for a few moments. It didn't seem like one of Potter's tricks, and it _was_ really cute. It had pointy, alert ears and its coat looked shiny and soft.

"Come here," she said affectionately, unable to resist. "Come here, boy."

The dog jerked its head away from Mary, suddenly alert. It looked to Potter, who looked back with an odd expression. The dog slowly approached Lily, who reached her hand out for it to sniff. It stood and allowed her to stroke it, but it didn't respond with the affection Lily had anticipated.

"It doesn't like me," she said dejectedly.

"Ah, it probably knows you reject _me_ so much," Potter said, grinning. "It'll like you more if you say you'll go out with me."

Lily bit her lip as the dog started wagging its tail at Potter's words, as though it understood.

"Aw, come on, you have to like me better than _this_ toe rag," she joked, scratching the dog under its chin. The dog snorted and retreated back to jumping energetically on Mary.

"I told you," Potter said.

"Where's Black?" Lily said suddenly.

"In detention with Filch," Potter replied smoothly, although Lily noticed another round of looks shared between him, Pettigrew, and Lupin. "Someone ratted him out for that dungbomb in the Slytherin boy's toilets."

Lily was about to ask why Potter wasn't sitting next to him in detention as he had been an active participant in that prank, but she was interrupted by loud shrieks of laughter. The dog had mounted Mary's leg and was treating it as though it was a female companion.

"Oy, Potter, get it off me!" Mary cried through laughter.

Potter, however, was indisposed. He, Lupin, and Pettigrew seemed to think that this was the most hilarious thing they'd ever seen. Potter had his forehead buried on Lupin's shoulder, almost crying with laughter. Pettigrew was rolling on the ground, and even Remus was laughing heartily. Lily noticed that when he laughed, the dark circles under his eyes became less noticeable.

Emmeline and Alice had managed to wrench the dog off of Mary's leg. Even Lily joined in with her friends' laughter, although it wasn't at the dog; it was at the boys' overreaction.

"Come off it, you've never seen a dog do that?" Alice said, still giggling.

They couldn't respond, because they were still laughing too hard.

* * *

James Potter strode along the corridor, suddenly energized with an idea.

"Mate, wait up!" Sirius called, jogging next to him. "That was _brilliant_. One of the best ideas I've ever had. And that's saying a lot."

"It _was_ brilliant," James replied, distracted.

"I can't believe we've never thought of it before," Sirius continued. "Not that I need too much help getting girls, but I was just stroked for _hours_ by the entire female population of Hogwarts."

"Yeah, _brilliant_," James repeated distantly.

"Oy, mate, what's wrong?" Sirius said, always quickest to recognize James' mood changes. "Jealous?"

"No, I've just thought of something," he said quickly, lowering his voice and stopping. Wormtail and Remus caught up and listened in. "I'll do that with Lily!"

"How'll you do that?" Peter asked eagerly.

Remus looked at him carefully. "It's not exactly like people walk around petting _stags_. She'll know something's up."

"Details," James said flippantly, not allowing his friends to deter him. "I'll just have to get her out on the grounds alone."

Even Sirius, who produced the most ludicrous ideas of the four, looked skeptical.

"Ah, mate, that might be tough, luring miss prefect-Lily-Evans on to the grounds alone. It'd have to be at night, and she wouldn't break the rules."

James violently ran his hand through his hair, frustrated. It had seemed like such a good idea moments ago.

"Look, maybe we can figure something out," Remus said sympathetically.

"We _are_ the Maurders after all," Peter added with an encouraging grin. "By the way, Padfoot, nice touch with Mary's leg back there."

They roared with laughter again at the memory.

* * *

"Done!" Lily sighed, throwing down her quill. She had been working for a week on a particularly nasty History of Magic essay, and she had finally finished. She turned to see how far Mary had gotten, but she was passed out in her armchair.

Lily grinned and conjured a blanket for her friend; the fire in front of them was slowly dying, and she felt an unnatural breeze brush by her for a moment. Perhaps someone had left a window opened. She turned around to glance at the clock. The big hand pointed to just before the six, and the small hand was at the two.

Just as Lily stood up to stretch, she paused at a small scratching noise. She glanced around and saw that the common room was completely empty. She turned back when she heard the sound closer, and gasped as she looked down to see a rat holding a large piece of parchment torn from her essay in its mouth. As long as she could get it back, she'd be able to repair it. As long as she could get it back.

She stared at the rat, determining what move to make, and it stared back at her. They remained in that stance for a suspenseful moment, and the rat took off across the room.

"Get back here!" Lily said through clenched teeth, trying not to wake the whole house. She sprinted after it, noticing that it was heading towards the portrait hole. It had to be cornered, surely it couldn't—

Lily cried out as the portrait hole burst open, as though waiting for the rat, and it scurried through. Without a moment's hesitation, Lily sprinted after it. Her heart was thumping to the beat of her bare feet smacking the stone corridor floors. She was so focused on keeping sight of the rat that she hardly noticed where she was going. Finally, the rat squeezed through a hole at the bottom of the oak doors at the main entrance.

Lily paused, gasping for air. Now she hesitated; it was one thing to wander the castle at night, but a different matter entirely to wander the grounds. She could practically hear McGonagall lecturing her: "_Sixth year and a prefect! You of all people should know better, Evans_!" Reminding herself of the huge chunk of her essay that the rat had in its mouth, and the hours of work she had spent on it, she cracked opened the door and slipped through.

The rat seemed to have been waiting for her, as though taunting her by keeping the parchment just out of her grasp. Lily had little time to ponder this, and took off after the stupid creature again. She didn't notice as her feet went numb in the October dew that coated the grass. Finally, at the edge of the lake behind some bushes, the rat gave up the chase and dropped the parchment. Lily grabbed it and held it to her breast, as though scared the fiend would come back for more games.

"Stupid creature," she muttered to herself, turning to hurry back to the castle. "Stupid, miserable, wretched—"

She gasped as she ran into something large and solid. With a small "oof" she fell to the ground and squinted up in the darkness. She let out another gasp as she stared up at a humongous stag.

Lily froze. She'd never encountered a wild animal this large before, especially alone and, she realized, unarmed. Her wand was sitting up in Gryffindor's tower. Perhaps, she thought to herself, if she stayed still enough, it wouldn't maul her with its lethal-looking horns.

Her heart stopped beating as the stag lowered his head. She didn't know what to do; she certainly couldn't outrun the thing. She squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself for the impact of its sharp antlers, but it never came. She peeked open an eye and saw that the antlers were lowered in front of her, and the stag had a liquidy black eye focused on her.

She held her breath, still unable to feel her heart beat. Did it want her to grab on?

She tentatively reached a hand up and hovered over the antlers. The stag impatiently thrust its antlers into her outstretched palm. She grabbed on and it raised its head slowly, pulling Lily to her feet.

She stared at the animal, more curious than fearful this time. It towered over her, so that her head only came up to his shoulder. If it wanted to maul her, it would have already done so. And the way that it watched her so expectantly was almost human.

"Hello," she said softly, trying to keep her voice from shaking. She had no clue why she was talking to it; perhaps because it seemed so intelligently human.

It snorted and lowered its nose to her. She reached out and patted it. The stag moved its nose against her hand and closed its eyes, as though content.

"You're sweet, aren't you?" Lily whispered, running her hands along its side. Its fur was warm and coarse, and its body was muscular and lean. The stag brought its nose close to her face and nuzzled her. She giggled softly, and it licked her neck, leaving a spot of slime, and eliciting more giggles.

Lily stood there with the stag for a long time, forgetting that she was out of grounds illegally, and her fragmented essay lay forgotten in the grass. She pressed her cheek to its neck, taking in its warmth.

Finally, the stag backed away, pawing the ground near the parchment she'd been chasing after before.

"Oh," she said, a little disappointed. "Right."

She felt the stag watching her as she bent down to grab the parchment. She stood back up, and it was already retreating back to the woods. With one last glance, she turned the opposite direction and headed back to the castle.

* * *

James stood at the edge of the woods for a moment and watched the dark figure of Lily Evans retreat back to the castle. Once she was safely within the oak doors, he transfigured back to himself behind a tree and grabbed his hidden robes.

"I can't believe we pulled that off!" Sirius said loudly, coming up from behind another bush. "_Lily Evans_—"

"Good one, Peter," Remus said, coming out from under the invisibility cloak and joining them, nodding to a rat by their feet. The rat scurried away to transfigure and clothe, and joined the other three.

"You owe me big for that one, James," Peter said with a wink.

James nodded, unable to speak. A thick sadness had washed over him, extinguishing his elation as soon as Lily turned to walk away. He'd never been on the receiving end of that tender side of Lily before, and it was unbearable to believe that he, James as a person, would probably not receive it. He'd had to resort to turning into a stag and tricking her to elicit her warmth towards him.

"Filch is heading towards the Gryffindor common room," Sirius noted suddenly, pointing to their map. "Let's go distract him before he gets to Evans."

James nodded again, glad to have a distraction.

* * *

Lily fought to keep her eyes open at breakfast the next morning.

"I don't know how I'm going to make it through Charms, Potions, _and_ History of Magic today," she groaned. "That damn essay!"

"You weren't only doing the essay last night, Lily Evans," Mary said accusingly. Alice and Emmeline looked over curiously.

"What are you talking about?" Lily said evenly, trying to keep from blushing.

"I woke up at around three and you weren't in the common room or your bed. Where were you?"

Lily hadn't anticipated this. She didn't want to tell her friends about the stag because it would be grounds for endless teasing. Plus, it sounded stupid when she said it aloud. How could she vocalize the amazement she felt at being so close to such a wonderful creature? Her friends wouldn't even believe the whole rat-stealing-her-homework story, either.

"Merlin, _you were sneaking around with a boy_!" Emmeline hissed loudly. Unfortunately, just then, Potter and his friends had made their way over to the table.

"What's that?" Potter said, changing direction and coming over towards the girls.

"You'd best give up on her, Potter," Emmeline said with a small smile. "Apparently Evans has found someone else."

"I never said that!" Lily said indignantly. "Just because I disappeared for half an hour last night...how do you know I wasn't in the prefects toilets taking a bath?"

Potter's eyes lit up. "Evans, sneaking around after hours?" He met Black's eye and grinned.

"None of your business, Potter," Lily snapped. The last thing she wanted was for _them_ to find out where she was last night. If her friends would make fun of her, Potter and his friends would make her life a living hell.

"Ah, well let me know if you want a partner in crime," he said with a wink.

"I'll keep that in mind," she replied sarcastically.

* * *

"Where were you last night?" Mary asked, cornering Lily in charms. Today they were practicing the aguamenti charm, making water stream from the tips of their wands. Charms was typically the perfect class to hold private conversations, for there was so much activity. Lily was alone at a table with Mary and couldn't avoid her.

"I told you, the baths."

"You can lie to every one else, Lily Evans, but not your best friend."

"It sounds stupid when I say it," Lily pleaded. "You can't tell anyone."

Mary arched an eyebrow. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

Lily smiled, and recounted her story from last night. As she finished, she waited for Mary to burst out laughing, but instead she looked concerned.

"Lily, I thought you were _smart_!" Mary burst out in an angry whisper.

"What are you talking about?" Lily asked defensively.

"That rat happened to lead you to some stag that sat there waiting for you to pet it?" Mary summarized.

"It was just a coincidence—"

"Don't you know about animagi?" Mary continued to whisper angrily. "Humans that can take animal form? What if it was a trap?"

Lily was quiet. This had never crossed her mind, which frightened her. She _was_ thick.

"You're right," Lily muttered. She felt so stupid.

"Just don't go running out of the castle at night again," Mary said, her eyebrows knit together as she looked at her friend. "Especially with You-Know-Who out there."


	16. Veritaserum

**So I just busted this chapter out instead of doing hours of homework. It might even be my longest chapter yet (which is a testament as to how much homework I'm actually procrastinating). I was super motivated by all your reviews :) Anyways, I think you guys will enjoy this one...its just meant to be fun. Happy readings!**

**ps shoutouts to: "lasting illusion"...your review definitely made me smile the widest :D and "Sweet Lovely Lily"...I fixed the typos you pointed out! Thanks!  
**

"GO, EMMELINE, GO!"

Lily's throat was hoarse from shouting. The Gryffindor versus Slytherin match had lasted longer than usual, and everyone's voices were fading. Some Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, who had little stake in the match, had left. Lily hoped that this dive by Emmeline towards the Snitch would end it.

A groan of disappointment washed over the Gryffindor side; Emmeline had pulled up unsuccessful, knocked off course by the Slytherin seeker. Lily directed her eyes to the flash of scarlet that had just whizzed by, followed by two flashes of green. Potter sped towards the Slytherin pitch and expertly hurled the quaffle into the middle loop.

"And Potter scores! That makes the game 180 to 170, with Gryffindor in the lead. Ouch, that bludger to the head of Slytherin chaser Avery from Black looked like it hurt—"

Lily watched as he made a quick circle around the pitch in triumph. His face was flushed and, despite the hours of play, he still had an energetic glint in his eye. She looked away quickly and blushed when she realized he noticed her looking and winked.

"Big-headed moron," she mumbled.

"What's that?" Alice asked.

"Nothing—GET IT, EM!"

Emmeline had made another spectacular dive, and this time came up successful. She held the golden, walnut-sized ball up triumphantly and zoomed around the quidditch pitch so that all could see. Her fellow teammates met her midair to hug her for finally bringing the game to an end. Lily turned with Alice, Mary, and the rest of the Gryffindor house to hurry down to the field to greet the team.

Lily was the first to reach Emmeline. She threw her arms around her, shouting "Good job! Amazing!"

Alice followed, enthusiastically expressing her congratulations, before turning to find Frank in the crowd, who played keeper.

"Where's Mary?" Emmeline shouted over the noise of the crowd.

Lily shrugged and turned to look around. Her hand immediately shot out to grab Emmeline.

"_Look_!"

Mary's golden locks were barely visible from behind Black's head and shoulders. Her arms were thrown around him, and they were sharing a passionate kiss.

"Oooh, finally!" Emmeline squealed. A few others had noticed Mary and Black, and began cat-calling. Mary pulled away looking embarrassed, but pleased.

"This isn't good," Lily said, wondering how Emmeline could possibly be happy. "No, no, no."

"Oh, hush," Emmeline laughed, pulling Lily with her towards the locker rooms. "She's fancied him forever."

"And he fancies anything with tits," Lily said, struggling against Emmeline's iron grip. "Let me go!"

"So you can run over there and ruin Mary's fun? I don't think so."

Lily sighed and submitted to her friend. "Can't I just meet you back at the common room? I'm frozen."

"You can wait an extra five minutes for me to change," Emmeline insisted.

* * *

As per usual, a party accompanied the Gryffindors' victory. The Marauders disappeared for half an hour and returned to the common room with loads of cakes, sandwiches, and butterbeer. During Black's absence, Emmeline had allowed Lily to confront Mary about him.

"So," Emmeline began. "Saw you down there with Black earlier."

Mary blushed and smiled. "Yeah, what of it?"

"How did that happen?" Lily asked casually, with a quick glance over at Emmeline. She had made Lily promise that she wouldn't verbally attack Mary.

"I went in for a hug and he—er—just..." Mary trailed off, grinning wider. "You know."

Emmeline smiled genuinely, but Lily's smile was forced. Despite Lily's efforts, Mary noticed her disapproval.

"You don't like him," Mary stated.

"I—" Lily tried to think of an excuse, but none that Mary would believe came to mind.

"Well, you _knew_ that already."

"You also knew I've fancied him," Mary said, a note of coldness in her voice.

"And we've _both_ watched him bring countless girls up to his dormitory," Lily replied, trying to keep her tone light. How could Mary, who'd lectured Lily about going out of the castle at night, be so thick when it came to Black?

"You just don't like him because of the way he and Potter treated Snape on the train first year," Mary spat. Lily was taken aback by her friend's tone; she had hardly ever heard Mary use a harsh tone in her life. "Well you know what? They were _right_ about him, Lily. He's going to leave school and become a Deatheater and—"

"They didn't know that then!" Lily retorted, her voice rising in anger. "They were just being great asses for the fun of it."

"I don't think _you're_ the best judge of character," Mary said bitterly. "You excused Severus Snape's behavior for _years_ before you—"

"Alright!" Emmeline cut in. She lowered her voice. "Both of you, enough. People are listening."

"Let them listen!" Lily retorted angrily. "Let them see the idiot Mary's about to make of herself with—"

Lily was cut off when the portrait hole burst opened and the Marauders boisterously entered.

"Come get some butterbeer!" Potter shouted as Gryffindors began to crowd around him.

Black scanned the room and rested his gaze on Mary. He beckoned her over, flashing a wide, attractive grin. With a last contemptuous glare at Lily, Mary smiled back and strode over to his side.

"I'm going to the library," Lily said, violently pushing herself up from her arm chair.

"No you're not," Emmeline said, standing in front of her. "It's _my_ win, too, and I want you at my party."

Lily opened her mouth to reply, but stopped herself. It was bad enough that she'd alienated Mary; she didn't want the same to happen with Emmeline.

"That's what I thought," Emmeline grinned. "Let's go find Frank and Alice."

* * *

Despite Mary, Lily managed to have a good time. This was mostly due to Emmeline's unwavering determination to _force_ Lily to have fun. Someone had procured a radio, and they had joined in on goofy dancing to witch and wizard groups that Lily had never heard of before. At one point, Emmeline spun Lily around and she crashed into Potter.

"Sorry!"

"Not a problem," he responded suggestively, steadying her by putting his hands on her waist.

She was in such a good mood that rather than telling him off, she laughed and turned around to continue on.

They moved on after a few hours of dancing and socializing to watch an intense game of Exploding Snap between Frank and Sturgis Podmdore.

"Where's Mary been?" Alice whispered to Lily and Emmeline, keeping her voice down as not to distract Frank from his move.

Lily rolled her eyes and pointed to a dark corner of the common room, where Black and Mary had been snogging the whole night.

Alice giggled and focused her attention back to the game.

"Gives you some ideas, doesn't it, Evans?" Potter's voice came from behind her. She turned around and he motioned over to their two friends.

"It gives me an idea to go vomit," Lily replied stiffly.

"Shh!" Frank hushed, motioning to his game.

Lily stepped off to the side with Potter.

"Listen, I've been meaning to say something to you about that—"

"About snogging?" he asked, his eyes lighting up. "I'm all ears."

Lily rolled her eyes. "No, about keeping _your_ best friend under control."

Potter grinned affectionately as he glanced over to Black again. "I don't think that's possible, Evans."

"Don't lie to me, Potter, you and I both know that you're the only one he'll listen to. Tell him that if he hurts Mary, I'll hex him so bad that—"

The portrait hole suddenly flew opened, and McGonagall strode in, clad in her nightdress.

"That is _quite enough_!" she announced sternly. "Evans, Lupin, I thought better of you, allowing this to continue on until the morning hours!"

Lily guiltily glanced at the clock. It read one in the morning.

"Bed, this instant!"

With that, McGonagall exited the room.

"You heard her," Lily announced, directing her gaze to those who remained seated. "Up to bed!"

"You're letting _them_ stay here," a small second year boy mumbled, pointing to Frank and Sturgis playing exploding snap, and Emmeline, Alice, Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew watching.

"They're just finishing up the game," she said stiffly. She watched as the common room slowly emptied, save for her, her companions, and Black and Mary in the corner.

"Someone's got to make them stop," she moaned.

"I'll do it," Potter volunteered, a mischievous grin spreading over his face. For once, Lily encouraged him.

"Please do," she said, turning back to watch the game, but watching Potter out of the corner of her eye.

"You have to promise to support any means I use to stop them," he said before going over.

"Fine," she replied quickly, just wanting the ugly scene to end.

Potter walked over to Black, whispered something in his ear, and Black jumped up, forgetting completely about Mary. The three joined the group.

"Who's up for a game?" Potter asked.

"What kind of game?" Lily said suspiciously.

"Well, Evans, I promised my good friend Padfoot here that we'd play with some of this"—he pulled out a small bottle of clear liquid—"if he'd agree to stop snogging MacDonald."

Lily snatched the bottle from him before he could object. She opened it and gingerly sniffed it. It was odorless.

"Veritaserum," she said softly.

"That's right, truth potion," Black said excitedly.

"The Ministry severely restricts this!" Lily said, coming to her senses. "And _you_ lot should not have this, especially."

She held it over her head, ready to smash it, but Potter was too quick. He yelled "Accio!" and the vial flew back into his hands.

"We're not going to _force_ anyone to have it!" he objected. "It's a game!"

The others were now listening in.

"Like truth or dare?" Mary asked.

"What's that?" Black said, looking confused.

"Just a silly muggle game," Mary mumbled quickly, looking embarrassed.

"We'll each take a drop and take turns asking questions," Potter explained.

"Potter, do you think we're thick-headed enough to entrust _you_ with—"

"Sounds exciting," Emmeline interrupted Lily.

"We'll need some ground rules first," Frank said cautiously. Alice nodded; if Frank was playing, she definitely would.

"Come on, Evans, don't be a bore," Potter teased. "Got something to hide?"

Lily sniffed. "Fine," she said, rising to his challenge. "Fine. One question each. Thats all."

Everyone nodded in assent, except Remus.

"I think I'll sit this one out and go to bed," he said, suddenly lifting his arms above his head and stretching. Lily turned to see how his friends would react, and to her surprise, they nodded understandingly.

"Hey, why does _he_ get off so easily!" Emmeline protested as Remus ascended the stairs towards the boys rooms.

"He's been pretty ill lately," Peter explained quickly. "Now, who goes first?"

"I'll go," Emmeline said boldly, stepping forward.

Potter unscrewed the lid. "Just dip your finger in and take a drop."

Emmeline complied without hesitation. As she stuck her finger in her mouth, her eyes became slightly unfocused.

"What should we ask her?" Black asked excitedly.

"I know," Lily said wickedly, ready for some lighthearted revenge on her friend for forcing her to stay and have fun at the party. "Emmeline, what was your most embarrassing moment?"

"It was when we stole my father's floo powder and played with the floo network. I ended up in a witch's house in Ireland in the middle of the night and her cat attacked me. My father had to clear it up with the ministry."

The group roared with laughter, especially Alice, Lily, and Mary at the memory. Lily and Mary had never used Floo powder before, so Emmeline, bragging about her many encounters with it, offered to demonstrate. When she didn't come back, her friends woke up Mr. Vance and he had to contact the Ministry to find out where she'd gone.

They waited a few minutes for the potion to wear off and for Emmeline to come to her senses. Finally, the vacant look on her face was replaced with bright blushing, and she buried her hands in her face.

"Someone else go," she said grumpily.

"My turn," Black said eagerly, taking the bottle from Emmeline.

Lily screwed up her face, thinking. What on earth could Black have to hide from anyone?

"Who do you love more than anyone in the world?"

Lily turned, surprised that it had been Alice to ask the question. Lily found herself extremely interested in the answer, for Black had rarely spent more than a few weeks with a girl. She wasn't, however, more interested than Mary, who watched him attentively.

"Myself."

Lily couldn't help from laughing. Mary looked stunned, but ended up laughing as well. The answer was so ludicrous, but very typically Sirius Black. Lily was still uneasy, for while Mary just seemed relieved that he did not say a girl's name, Lily felt the danger in his answer. If he couldn't love another person, what was stopping him from hurting others?

The laughter died down, and Frank motioned for the veritaserum. He waited for Black to recover before taking it, and once Black's vacant expression gave way to his regular cocky grin, Frank dipped his finger in.

The truth serum was passed around as such, each member of the game revealing absolute truths about themselves. Frank admitted that his deepest ambition was to bring down He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named so that he and Alice could have a safe family after school; Alice admitted that she would rather be at home studying Herbology with her father than attend the Quidditch World Cup; Sturgis admitted to almost getting expelled from Hogwarts for hexing Lucius Malfoy when he overheard him use the word "mudblood" during the last summer holiday.

Finally, after Peter admitted that he desired to be James Potter more than anything else in the world (Lily rolled her eyes at Potter's cocky grin), the bottle was passed to Lily. She hesitated, dipping her finger in the bottle but hovering it there.

"Come on, Evans...scared?" Potter teased.

Lily refused to admit it, but she was. The Marauders had less of an interest in Lily's friends than herself. Off the top of her head, she didn't have any secrets that would make her time left at school with them particularly difficult, but she certainly didn't like being at the mercy of Potter. With a deep breath, she stuck her finger in her mouth.

The potion was tasteless, but she felt an odd loss of control of her mind. Otherwise, everything seemed normal. She almost felt as though she could resist any particularly embarrassing questions.

"Why were you such good friends with Severus Snape?"

Lily turned to Potter, recognizing that this was an odd question, but she had no time to ponder this. Without thinking, words spilled from her mouth.

"Because he was very kind and modest around me. His parents were horrible, and I felt like I needed to protect him. He was also brilliant, and he taught me a lot."

Lily's mind was fuzzy for a few moments, and she suddenly snapped back to awareness. Everyone was giving her odd looks, but Potter looked especially puzzled.

"Erm, shall Potter take his turn?" Lily said uncomfortably. She didn't like bringing up her past friendship with Severus, especially since his affiliation with the Deatheaters grew more apparent every day.

"Alright," he said confidently, taking the bottle from Lily and dipping his finger in. As Lily watched him, she wondered what she'd like to ask him. He was always just _there_, having a laugh or annoying Lily, but she never stopped to consider that he was a real person with secrets.

"What's your biggest fear?" Pettigrew asked eagerly.

Lily was a little disappointed; she'd wanted to ask the question. None the less, she was interested in Potter's answer. She had never seen him express any fear before.

"Being alone. Losing Sirius, you or Remus."

Lily softened at his answer. She probably would have answered the same about Alice, Mary, and Emmeline. After a few moments, Potter came to his senses and Black grabbed him around the neck and ruffled his hair.

"Ah, getting all sentimental on us, mate?"

"Where would I be without you, Padfoot?"

"Your summers would be much less interesting, and lacking motorbikes."

They all laughed, although Lily had no clue what Black was going on about motorbikes for. There was something endearing about Potter and Black's devotion to each other, she decided, as they wrestled around for a few moments.

"It's well past two," Frank noted, stretching his arms. "Shall we call it a night?"

Everyone mumbled in agreement and headed towards their respective stairwells.

"That was fun," Emmeline noted as they began to ascend the girls stairs. "I can't believe Sturgis was almost _expelled_!"

"Yeah," Lily agreed. She stopped suddenly. "Oh, I forgot my bag! You all go on."

Lily waved goodnight to her friends and headed back towards the common room, where she had left her bag by a fireplace.

"Oh! Evans," Potter said, making Lily jump. He was bent over the table where they had been playing their game, picking up the bottle of Veritaserum. "Forgot this...shouldn't leave it lying around..."

"Yeah, I'd just forgotten my bag," she said, picking it up.

"That was interesting," he said in reference to the game. He faced her and tossed the bottle up into the air, snatching it back expertly. Lily was reminded of when he was playing with the stolen snitch by the lake last year.

"It was," she said, smiling. "Though, I didn't have a go at you and you got one at me."

"That hardly seems fair," he said, catching the bottle again and uncorking it. "Go on, ask me something."

Lily smiled, surprised.

"You trust me? There's no one around to know if I ask you a horribly invasive question," she said suggestively.

"I don't have anything to hide from you," he said seriously.

"Go on, then," she said, placing her finger in the bottle and holding it in front of him tauntingly. She was skeptical that he would actually follow through, and thought he would somehow fake taking the potion. To her immense surprise, he leaned forward, and gently placed his mouth over her finger. He pulled back, so that he did not linger unnecessarily long.

"Do you really fancy me, or is this just a ploy to annoy me?" she blurted out.

"I fancy you more than you can ever know."

Lily blushed and looked down, unable to handle the intensity of his hazel gaze. She played with the finger his lips had just made contact with, wondering why his answer affected her.

"Is that all, then?" he asked, smiling a little embarrassedly. "I thought you were going to ask some 'horribly invasive question.'"

"No, Potter, I'm not _you_," she teased.

"My question was perfectly fine," he protested.

"Only because my friends would have hexed you if you got out of line," she challenged.

"Here," he said, dipping his finger into the potion. "We're alone now. Nothing's stopping me...d'you still think I'll ask you something bad?'

Lily bit her lip and surveyed him. She was curious as to whether Potter actually had the self control to not take advantage of her.

"Fine, but if you do something thick, be sure that I'll get you back," she warned.

He nodded, and she leaned forward to touch her lips to his finger. She pulled away, realizing what an intimate gesture it was.

He watched her for a moment, and Lily felt her insides squirm. Even if she got the satisfaction of revenge, her words could not be unsaid and Potter would know whatever information he'd asked her forever. She could always look into memory charms...

"Should I give up on you?"

For the second time that night, Potter surprised her with his question.

"No, don't."

Lily bit her lip as soon as the words left her mouth. As if Potter needed any more encouragement.

Potter smiled down at her, although it was not his regular conceited smile. He looked genuinely happy.

"Good night, Evans."

"G'night, Potter."

Lily turned to head towards the girl's stairs. When she was halfway up, Potter called out.

"Evans, what would you have done if I'd been inappropriate?"

She smiled. "I would have force-fed you that entire bottle and let the school have a go at you."


	17. None of that funny stuff

**So I have a feeling that you guys won't like this chapter...so I'm publishing chapter 17 with it so I don't leave you with unhappy feelings :)**

**I'm so glad you guys are enjoying the story...thanks a million for the reviews!  
**

Lily headed towards the back of the train, doing her final rounds before the Hogwarts Express stopped to drop off students to Platform 9 3/4 for winter holiday. She didn't even bother to poke her head into compartments; she just wanted to get her Prefect rounds over so she could say a proper farewell to Mary, Alice, and Emmeline before the holidays. She stopped at the back of the train, began to turn around, but heard muffled voices that caught her attention.

"—just slip her some love potion?" Pettigrew's voice came from behind the compartment door.

"That's sick, Wormtail," Potter said.

"Come off it, Prongs, it's not like you haven't considered it," Black said.

"Of course I have, but she's not thick. The minute it wears off, she'd come for my head."

"You could keep it up, it's not like you have trouble sneaking around," Pettigrew pressed.

"Yes, Wormtail, but do you think I'd enjoy myself if I knew she was only acting like that because of the potion?" Potter shot back. "I don't want her to be my _puppet_."

Lily smiled to herself. Potter was a pretty decent bloke, sometimes.

* * *

Lily rested her head on the soft, red stocking she'd just removed from the fireplace. She felt the candy within shift under the weight of her head as she sprawled out under the pine tree. She was always the first one awake Christmas morning, and was too eager to stay in bed.

Just as she began to doze off in the early morning hour, she heard footsteps descending the stairs.

"Mom?" she called, sitting up. Her stomach let out a low growl; she hoped her mother would begin breakfast soon.

"Oh!" Petunia said, stopping in her tracks at the doorway to the living room. "I didn't realize you were here."

"Yeah," Lily said awkwardly. Petunia usually avoided being alone with her younger sister, and she hesitated, deliberating. Lily's heart gave a small jolt when Petunia decided to step into the room with her.

"I couldn't sleep," Petunia felt the need to explain.

"I never can," Lily said with a small smile.

"I know," Petunia replied with pursed lips. Lily wasn't sure if she was imagining it, but it seemed as though her sister was suppressing a smile.

They sat in silence for a few moments. Lily didn't want to chance saying something that would scare her sister away, but she figured anything was better than their silence.

"So, what did you get me this year?" Lily asked in a light tone.

"It's right there, if you want," Petunia replied, pointing to a small, squishy package under the tree.

Lily grabbed it and tore it open. A sweatshirt with Petunia's University name inscribed across the front fell into her lap. Lily wasn't sure what to make of the gift; was it a statement from Petunia telling Lily that her school was the _normal_ way, or was Lily just reading too far into it?

"Yours is over there, if you want," Lily said, pointing to the other side of the tree.

Petunia hesitated, eyeing it suspiciously.

"It's none of that _funny_ stuff, is it?"

"You'll just have to open it and find out," Lily said with a wink. Lily knew it was daring to take on such a playful tone with her sister these days, but she desperately wanted to act as though they were normal again, even if they hadn't been for years.

Lily was surprised when Petunia decided to get up and pick up the package. She weighed it in her hand, and began to slowly unwrap it.

"It's delicate," Lily warned, watching her sister closely.

Two things were inside Petunia's package: a box of Bertie Bott's Every-Flavour Beans and another package. Petunia eyed the box of jellybeans cautiously and tossed them aside, focusing her attention on the unwrapped package. She tenderly pulled off the paper, as though the contents would explode if she were rough. Lily held her breath as a palm-sized glass ball rolled into her sister's hand.

"What is it?" Petunia asked cautiously.

"It's a Remembrall," Lily explained, watching Petunia examine the white swirling mist within the glass. "If you hold it, the fog'll turn red if you've forgotten something."

Petunia continued staring at it, with what Lily hoped was a look of wonder.

"I thought it might help you at University," Lily continued hopefully. "It's really quite useful—"

Lily was interrupted by a loud "THUD" against the window, causing it to crack and the decorations on the sill to crash to the floor. Lily gasped, and Petunia cried out. This was followed by a soft tinkle of glass; in her surprise, Petunia had dropped the Remembrall.

"Oh, it's just an owl," Lily said in relief, getting up to let the brown barn owl in. It swooped, dropped a package by the tree, and perched on the couch to shake the snow off its feathers. Lily turned to Petunia, who was standing frozen in the same spot.

"It's okay," Lily said, motioning to the glass by her sister's feet. "I can send you another one once I get a chance to—"

"I said I didn't want any of your _funny_ stuff!" Petunia snapped suddenly. "I'm glad it broke!"

Lily stared at her sister. She was sure that she hadn't imagined Petunia's interest in her present.

"Tuney—"

"Stop calling me that!"

Lily watched as her sister stormed out of the room. Mr. and Mrs. Evans, who had come down to investigate what all the noise was, stood aside to allow their daughter to storm past.

"What's going on?" her father asked groggily.

"I just got an owl," Lily said shortly, trying to hold back tears. "That's all."

"Oh, your friends always send you the most interesting things," Lily's mother said excitedly. "Go on and open it!"

Her parents, always fascinated with the wizarding world, seemed to look forward to Lily's presents more than their own. Lily dispiritedly picked up the package and tore it open.

A delicate silver necklace fell into her palm. Lily held it up and saw that the chain was made of interwoven lilies. She couldn't deny that it was breathtaking.

She turned back to the packaging, eager to see who it was from. She found a small note buried in the wrappings:

"_Evans-_

_Transfigured this myself, just as a friendly reminder of my superior transfiguration abilities. It's perfect for you to wear on our date to Hogsmeade when the term begins._

_Happy Holidays_

_James Potter"_

Lily felt anger boiling up from her stomach. Not only could she practically _hear_ Potter's cocky tone as she read the note, but his owl had scared Petunia off. He'd ruined Lily's first pleasant encounter with her sister in years, just so he could show off to Lily. In a blind rage, she grasped the necklace in her fist and stormed up to her room.

"Lily-flower, what's wrong?" her father called after her, concerned.

Lily ignored him and stomped up the stairs, skipping two and three at a time. She thrust open her trunk and pulled out her wand. So what if she was under age? She had to let Potter know that she did _not_ appreciate his gift.

Muttering under her breath, she pointed her wand at the necklace. She watched with savage satisfaction as it melted into a rock, and finally condensed to a small lump of coal.

Breathing heavily, she scribbled a note to Potter—"_Find somewhere to stick this when you attend Hogsmeade ALONE"_—and stormed back downstairs to send the note and present off with the owl, who sat patiently on the couch as she fumbled with tying the package to its leg.

Finally, she opened the window and let the owl out. She watched it fly off with satisfaction. Once it was gone, she fell onto the couch, heavy sobs shaking her body.

* * *

"I can't believe you weren't expelled," Alice lectured. "That was incredibly reckless."

"I know," Lily said morosely.

"It was your second offense, too," noted Emmeline, setting aside her regular _Witch Weekley_ in the seat next to her. "There was that one time you transfigured tea cups into rats for Petunia."

"I know," Lily repeated.

"And you really shouldn't have taken it out on James," added Mary.

Lily sighed. "_I know_."

She turned and stared out at the frosty countryside as the Hogwarts Express sped back towards the school. Lily was miserable; she thought being around her friends finally would lift her spirits, but they only made her feel worse.

"What did the Ministry say?" Emmeline asked.

"Just that if I commit one more offense I'm expelled," Lily mumbled, keeping her eyes fixated outside the compartment. "Good thing I'm officially legal tomorrow."

"You sound so enthusiastic," Mary teased, moving over to sit next to her best friend. She put her arms around her. "It'll be fine, Lily. Cheer up."

Lily turned to her friend, tears brimming from her green eyes.

"Petunia hates me so much and I don't know what to do about it," she blurted out, her tears now falling freely.

"Oh Lily!"

Mary pulled Lily tighter against her. Lily let her head fall on Mary's shoulder. She felt someone put a comforting hand on her back and someone else tenderly stoke her hair. Vaguely, she heard Alice and Emmeline offer words of comfort.

"I know I shouldn't have been so horrible to Potter," she sobbed. "But his present just had to come _right at that moment_."

Lily allowed herself to cry for a few moments longer, and pulled herself up from Mary's shoulder. She wiped her eyes delicately on the sleeve of her robes and smiled weakly at her friends.

"Thanks," she said. "Petunia is just being ridiculous, she'll come around, won't she?"

Her friends nodded emphatically. Lily sighed, still struggling to maintain control of her tear ducts.

"It's not fair," Alice said after a few moments. "You look so beautiful when you cry."

Lily laughed thickly, still drying her face. "I'm feeling better, I don't need your false flattery."

"It's true," Emmeline said, smiling. "Your eyes get so bright and—"

"Afternoon ladies!"

Lily jumped at Black's voice. She felt Mary tense from beside her. Lily shot a quick glance over to her best friend to ensure that she would be able to maintain herself in Black's presence.

"Afternoon," Lily said stiffly. Speaking was clearly out of the question for Mary.

"Hullo, Black."

Lily's head swiveled around to Mary, shocked she was speaking coherently.

"Alright, MacDonald?"

"I suppose," she said nonchalantly, picking up one of Emmeline's magazines from the chair next to her.

Black shot her an apprehensive look and engaged Emmeline in conversation for a few moments.

About as quickly as Mary and Black's relationship had started, it had ended. After a few days of sneaking off into classrooms with him and not speaking to Lily, Mary was found in bed crying over him. Black had been seen snogging a fourth year Hufflepuff. The only reason his head was still secured on his shoulders was because Mary had begged Lily not to do anything.

"Where's Potter?" Lily asked, trying to sound off-handed.

Black turned to her, an odd expression on his face. Lily couldn't make it out. Of course, she realized, he'd must have known about she and Potter's exchange of Christmas presents.

"He'll be along, I'm sure," he said evasively.

Lily's stomach seemed to jump to her throat. She wasn't sure if it was Black's ambiguous tone that caused this or anticipation of Potter's presence. She wanted to apologize, but she also loathed the thought of Potter gloating about her rudeness.

Just then, the compartment door slid opened and Potter strolled in—with Marlene McKinnon on his arm.

Marlene was a decently pretty Ravenclaw a year below them. Lily knew her from Slug Club. Lily stared, her mouth falling open. She'd never seen Potter exchange one word with the girl before. Plus, hadn't he just sent Lily a beautiful necklace just days ago?

"All right, everyone?" Potter asked, flashing his characteristic grin. Lily could have sworn that his eyes lingered a few seconds longer on her. After that, however, he did not once glance her way.

"Hello James," Alice said kindly, breaking the awkward silence. "Have a good holiday?"

"It was alright," he said evenly.

Another awkward silence ensued.

"How was your holiday, Marlene?" Lily asked, smiling sweetly at her.

"It was excellent," she said, smiling back at Lily, although she still looked uncomfortable at the silence in the compartment. "I needed a break from O.W.L.s. Are you going to the next Slug meeting this week?"

Lily nodded shortly.

"Well," said Black, backing towards the door. "We'd better be off. Slytherins to greet and all that."

"See you," Emmeline said happily.

Marlene and Potter followed him out. As soon as the compartment door closed, Lily lost any control that she had formerly gained over her tear ducts.

* * *

James Potter slipped out into the corridor of the Hogwarts Express, following Sirius back towards their compartment.

"That was odd," Marlene commented, tightening her grip on James' arm. "Lily looked like she'd been crying."

James had noticed it, too; she'd looked more beautiful than ever with her bright eyes and flushed skin. It surely couldn't have been because of him; she couldn't have known about him and Marlene dating beforehand. Then again, James thought bitterly, she probably wouldn't waste her tears on him. He unconsciously felt for the walnut-sized lump of coal in his pocket. He felt it every time he thought of Lily, as a reminder of what she truly thought of him.

"I'm going to go say hello to some of my friends," Marlene said, veering off towards another compartment. She stood on tip-toe and went in to kiss James. He pretended not to notice, and she met his cheek instead. "See you."

"Cold, mate," Sirius said, shaking his head as Marlene closed the compartment door. "Using the poor girl like that."

Despite himself, James managed a grin. "You're one to lecture me, Padfoot. I saw those death glares MacDonald was shooting you."

Sirius smiled. "Ah, if I'd known she had that feisty side..."

They entered the compartment and greeted Wormtail and Remus.

"How'd Lily take it?" Remus asked.

"How do you think she took it?" James replied bitterly, taking the cole out of his pocket and waving it around for his friends to see. "She couldn't care less. She and Marlene were getting on quite well, actually."

"So you're throwing in the towel, mate?" Peter asked.

"Maybe," James sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"What about the Veritaserum, though?" Remus insisted, leaning forward. "She said she didn't _want_ you to stop pestering her."

"Ah, she probably gets some satisfaction turning down Prongs while he keeps coming back for more," Sirius said disgustedly. "In the meantime, have some fun with Marlene. She's a little dull, I'd say, but I'm sure you can find something fun to do."

Sirius winked at his best friend. James tried to smile, but his facial muscles seemed to be out of order.


	18. James

**I'm a little self-conscious about this chapter...I feel like you guys will either hate it or love it (Please let me know in the reviews!). I have a time line of events written out for myself, and I kindof digressed from the plan, but I think it will end up working best this way. Enjoy :)**

"You're being spiteful," Emmeline whispered urgently as she tried to keep up with Lily's long strides down the corridor. "You have no reason to be mad at Potter like this—"

Lily ignored her. Emmeline didn't know about the extra round of the Veritaserum game she and Potter had played alone. She didn't know about the confession Lily had made to him.

"Why didn't you just date him before, if you suddenly like him so much?" she said, desperately trying to distract Lily from her destination.

"Because, I _can't_ like him," Lily breathed so that passerby couldn't overhear. "Sure, he's quite attractive, and he can be funny sometimes, but if I date him then I'm associated with any of his idiotic pranks and fat-headedness."

"So if you don't like him why are you about to—"

"Remus!" Lily called out, jogging forward and leaving Emmeline behind her. He was just coming from the hospital wing, looking a little tired.

"Hey Lily," he said, confused. He looked from Emmeline's disapproving face to Lily's eager one. She felt a fire burning behind her eyes that might have seemed intimidating. She tried to calm herself, but the sight of Potter sucking Marlene's face in the common room, for all, especially Lily, to see, was still fresh in her mind.

"I was just wondering if you'd like to accompany me to Slughorn's dinner this Friday," Lily said quickly, before Emmeline could interrupt. "We're supposed to bring a guest."

"Oh," Remus said, looking bewildered. "I—er—"

"Oh come on," Lily said sweetly, flashing him what she was told was an irresistible smile. "Just as friends."

Remus looked wary. Lily smiled again, although this time it was genuine. Remus was, really, quite adorable. The bags under his eyes made him look older than any of his peers, but there was always a boyish uncertainty about him that was endearing. She couldn't feel more sure of her idea now.

"Sure," he said, looking a little defeated. He quickly added on, "_Just_ as friends."

"Sure," Lily said quickly. "I just couldn't think of anyone else who'd go with me at the last moment."

"Alright, well, see you around," he said to Lily. He nodded farewell to Marlene and walked off.

"Lily Evans, you're acting like a first year," Emmeline burst out after Remus rounded the corner.

Lily winked at her. "Come off it, Emmeline. It's my birthday."

Emmeline still looked skeptical as they turned to head back to the Gryffindor common room.

"Well, I suppose if you're so mad at me, you don't have to try some of the Fire Whiskey I ordered for the occasion—"

Emmeline smiled. This seemed to be the right approach. "I'm sure you and Remus will have a lovely evening Friday, and Potter won't hex you or anyone else into oblivion."

"That's what I thought."

* * *

The week seemed to fly by. Lily hardly had time for her friends, or to ponder Potter, for she was locked in the library constantly doing homework when she wasn't eating or in class. Once, she had encountered Severus, who opened his mouth as if to say something, but he seemed to understand the meaning behind her glare and thought better of it.

"How do I look?" Lily asked, spinning in front of her mirror.

"Beautiful," Emmeline said, grudgingly. "I'm sure Potter—I mean, Remus, will think you're stunning."

Lily ignored her; she was immune to Emmeline's underhanded comments by now. Alice felt the same way, although she was too nice to pester Lily about it. Mary, who had been on a vindictive rampage against the male gender since Black, applauded Lily's efforts, and only wished she could manage to drag Black into her crossfire. Also, Mary, unlike Emmeline and Alice, knew about Lily's confession to Potter, and felt the injustice of his behavior towards her.

"Pull this down a bit," Mary said, grabbing the front of Lily's robes so that her cleavage was more salient. "That'll make Potter cry."

Lily giggled and kissed her friend affectionately on the top of her head as she bent down to adjust Lily's robes. She stood up straight and examined herself in the mirror. Her auburn hair, longer after a few years of first cutting it, fell around her face in thick waves. Her green dress robes brought out the piercing green of her eyes, and Mary had lent her some eyelash thickening potion to complement them further. She stood tall, pleased with how her robes clung to all the right places. Madame Malkin was a robe-making genius.

"Well, I should go meet Remus," Lily said, grabbing her wand and tucking it away in her sleeve.

"Have fun," Alice said sincerely.

"Yeah," Emmeline said sarcastically.

Lily left the room and descended the stairs to the common room. She glanced around for Remus when—

"Evans," Potter said, his voice full of surprise.

"Hello, Potter," Lily said, turning to face him and plastering a smile on her face. "I was just looking for—"

"Remus'll be down in a minute," he said quickly. "He suggested we all go together."

"Did he?" Lily said lightly. "You're going with Marlene I assume?"

He nodded, and they stood there for a moment awkwardly. Lily couldn't help but look at him every chance she got. He really looked quite good in his dress robes; there was a certain maturity about him that Lily rarely saw.

She sighed, feeling pangs of regret. She really shouldn't have been so horrible to him over winter.

"What?" he asked in reference to her sigh.

"Listen, Potter," she started. She took another breath. "_James_. I just wanted to say that your present was beautiful."

Lily paused, stealing a glance to gauge his reaction. He was watching her with an impassive expression. She decided to continue.

"It just came at the wrong moment, and I was angry and—"

Just as she'd been on the verge of saying that she was stupid and sorry, Remus came down the stairs. Potter cleared his throat and looked away. Lily wished she had another bottle of Veritaserum so she could ask what he was thinking.

"Hello," Remus said awkwardly; it was clear he had just intruded on a conversation. "Erm—shall we go?"

They left the portrait hole and walked in silence towards Slughorn's classroom. Only until they met up with Marlene in the entrance hall was the silence broken. She chatted away happily with Potter, and Lily determinedly turned to Remus.

"Have you ever been to one of Slug's gatherings?"

"No, I've never been invited," he said.

"You should be, you're brilliant," Lily said honestly.

Remus gave her a small smile. "What makes you say that? Our professors are too busy dealing with James and Sirius to notice me."

"I've seen some of your essays when you help me," Lily insisted. "They're really good. And you always get everything on the fist try."

"You're giving me too much credit," Remus said modestly.

Lily smiled, realizing that she'd successfully tuned Marlene and Potter out during the whole walk there. Perhaps she'd be able to actually enjoy herself at dinner.

"Ladies first," Potter said, opening the door and beckoning Lily into Slughorn's office. She turned to thank him, but noticed that he was turned the other way, shooting a threatening glare at Remus.

* * *

Sunlight streamed into Lily's eyes, awakening her from a deep sleep. She groaned, cursing herself for forgetting to close her bed's curtains. After a long and dark winter, she was not yet in the habit of anticipating the sunlight in the mornings.

She glanced at her clock and realized that her last exam for the term, care of magical creatures was in an hour. She glanced jealously at her sleeping roommates, who had chosen other electives, and did not have an exam until the next day.

She rolled out of bed, dressed, and grabbed her textbook to read at breakfast.

"Evans, wait up!"

Lily turned and saw Potter coming up behind her, book in hand.

"Potter," she said in surprise. "You're holding a book."

He grinned. "Figured I'd get some last minute studying in."

Lily stared at him in shock. "Since when do you study?"

He shrugged. "I just want a decent grade."

"And why are you up earlier than five minutes before the exam?"

Again, he shrugged.

"I didn't go to sleep last night."

"Why not, exam jitters?" she teased. It felt good to talk to Potter again. He'd taken to avoiding the common room over the past few months, and Lily had barely spoken with him. In fact, the void of his presence over the months was more noticeable now that she was talking to him again.

He grinned. "Nah, Remus had a furry little problem we had to take care of last night."

Lily stared at him. "I don't want to know."

He winked. "Good, I wasn't going to tell you."

They entered the great hall, which was all but empty at the early hour.

"How about we grab something and eat outside," he suggested. "I'm tired of being inside all the time."

Lily nodded, grabbing a few slices of toast and following him out to the grounds.

"You've been quiet," Lily said suddenly as they walked across the grounds towards the lake. "I mean, I haven't heard of any particularly nasty pranks lately."

"Yeah, I figured its time to get it together," he said, looking at her out of the corner of his eye. "We only have a year left here, and then we're out of our little safety bubble."

Lily nodded, impressed, as they took a seat at the edge of the lake. She watched the giant squid bask lazily at the surface in the center.

"What are you going to do when you're out?" Lily asked curiously.

"I have some ideas," he said vaguely. He turned to face her. "What about you?"

"I—"

Lily trailed off. She wasn't sure. She'd looked into Healing, but she still had hopes that Dumbledore would allow her into the Order.

"I have some ideas, too," she replied with a playful smile, faithful to her promise to McGonagall that she would not mention the Order. He returned it, and Lily felt her insides squirm. She hadn't realized how much she missed his smile.

"So how's Marlene?" Lily asked casually, directing her gaze back across the lake at the squid.

"We broke it off a while ago," he said casually. "We never really talked, between school and quidditch. Plus she was never really..."

He trailed off, and Lily found herself wishing he would finish his sentence.

"Well, sorry," was all she could think to say.

"She'd been expecting it, I suppose," he replied indifferently through a mouth full of muffin.

Lily nodded, not wanting to pry further. They sat in silence for a moment during which Lily chewed on her toast, and then—

"Why were you crying, on the Hogwarts Express at the end of winter holiday?"

Lily looked at him and swallowed her toast, surprised he'd noticed that detail.

"Oh, I just got in a row with my sister," she said lightly. "We don't get on well, she doesn't like my magic. I got her a Remembrall for Christmas and she didn't like it." Lily paused and turned to face him, giving him a meaningful look. "She dropped it when your owl startled us."

"Ah, that explains your present to me," he said with a small smile.

Lily blushed, letting her hair fall in her face to hide it. "I was very upset."

"You're very beautiful when you cry," Potter said, reaching out and brushing the hair from her face.

Lily jumped at his touch, not expecting it. She didn't recoil, though.

"Is that why you made me cry, then?" she asked half-jokingly.

"When did I make you cry?" he asked, surprised.

"When you brought Marlene in our compartment," she explained, hoping her face wasn't as red as it felt. "That was very nasty of you, Potter."

"Nasty of _me_?" he asked incredulously. "Nasty of me? Evans, you—you—where do I even _begin_ with you?"

Lily smiled ruefully at his frustration. "You're so thick, Potter. Don't you remember what I said to you, with the Veritaserum?"

"Of course I do," he said defensively.

"You gave up on me," she accused.

"What was I supposed to do with _this_?" he asked, pulling something from his pocket. It was the coal Lily had sent him. She was quiet.

"Evans, you're like no other," Potter said in annoyance.

"Likewise, Potter," she said, smiling at his exasperation.

"How can you sit there smirking at me like that?" he said crossly.

"Stop being a baby, Potter," she said, her grin widening.

"Listen, Evans," he said, on his feet now, "if this whole thing is such a goddamn _joke_ to you—"

Lily stood as well, trying to suppress her smile, but failing miserably.

"—then that's fine. Fine. Play your stupid games—"

His anger was so endearing. Lily couldn't help herself.

"Stop being thick," she interrupted playfully, stepping closer to him.

"Stop calling me that!" he roared. "I am _not_—"

He trailed off as Lily pushed herself up to the tips of her toes so that her lips could meet his.

She opened her eyes after a moment when he didn't respond. Maybe he _was_ really angry with her. She began to pull away, embarrassed, but he quickly came to his senses and pulled her head back to him and deepened the kiss.

Lily sighed against his lips, snaking her arms around his neck and running a hand through his hair. He kept one hand on the back of her neck, and had one arm around her waist, fastening her to his body, as though he were scared she would suddenly change her mind and try to run off.

He was perfect. Lily vaguely wondered why she had waited so long to do this. His mouth tasted fresh and watery, and his smell was intoxicating. He smelled of fresh laundry, and his own unique sent that Lily couldn't find words for.

He pulled away after a few moments and rested his forehead against hers, entangling his fingers in her hair. She ran one of her hands up and down the right side of his face, taking in his soft skin and rough beard stubble. She closed her eyes, enjoying his breath on her nose.

"James," she said softly, relishing how his first name felt in her mouth. "James, James."

She felt his face turn up into a smile under her hand.

"Lily, I—"

"Oy! Where the bloody hell is he?"

Lily's eyes flew open at the sound of Black's voice and she jumped apart from James. They stared at each other for a minute curiously before gathering their things for their exam.

"Over here, Padfoot!" James called out, emerging from beside the lake with Lily and joining his friends to walk towards their class at the edge of the Forbidden Forest.

"What are _you_ two up to?" Sirius said in surprise, a devilish grin spreading across his face.

"None of your business," Lily said crisply, clearing her throat and avoiding James' eye.

"Right..." Pettigrew said, looking eagerly from James to Lily. Lily ignored him and cracked open her book to double check the diet of pixies before the exam started.

**A/N: before you guys start yelling at me that they don't date until 7th year, keep in mind that kissing does not = dating :P**


	19. Letters

**Hey- sorry for the long wait between updates...I have no excuse other than writer's block. I wanted to try a little epistolary form to switch things up, and I'm not too comfortable writing this way. I think it ends up working out well, though (let me know in the reviews). I'd also like to thank you guys for the TONS of reviews my last two chapters got. I'm so glad you guys ended up liking it :) I did agree with "Anonymous Marauder" that the time seemed to move a bit too quickly (that's why I was originally uncomfortable with it); it's just that there's still so much to the story and I didn't want to waste time with the same old James-chasing-Lily thing. Anywayssss, enjoy enjoy enjoy!**

Dear Lily-

Congratulations on passing your apparition test (finally, I might add). All is well here...well, mostly. My parents are ready to vanish Sirius' motorbike, it makes such a ruckus. I think it's brilliant, although I think I much more prefer brooms. It is a good laugh when Muggle please-men try to pull us over.

When are you leaving for your trip? I'd like to see you before you go for the summer...we can go into London or something. Sirius might even let me borrow his motorbike.

Cheers,

James Potter

* * *

Dearest Mary-

Only four more days until our trip! Potter wrote to me again...he wants to meet up before I leave. I don't know why, but I feel very reluctant to. I'm sure I'll have a good time, but that's what I'm afraid of. What if I wear off on him, or he realizes that what he's been chasing all these years is something other than what he thought? We've never spent much time alone...what if he thinks I'm dull? He's used to running off with Black, Pettigrew, and Lupin...I don't run off and play pranks for laughs. What happens if I _really _fancy him and he loses interest?

Write back quickly and tell me what to say

Xoxo

Lily

* * *

Lily-

Emmeline is here and she would like to first off say that you are being incredibly thick. What are you going to do, not spend _any_ time with him? You fancy him, go out to London.

Now, my opinion on the matter is that you should keep him waiting. I think your letters are wonderfully romantic, and it adds to the romance if you're torn apart all summer. Plus, as his best friend taught us, if you give in easily then he _will_ get bored with you. Keep Potter on his toes.

Three days

Xoxo

Mary and Emmeline

* * *

James-

Thank you for your congratulations, although I might point out that there was no way of knowing that the Muggle Prime Minister happened to be vacationing in that exact spot...I was only off by a few miles during my first apparation test! I think I'd have to side with your parents on Black's motorbike...and its _Police_-men that pull you over, James.

I'm leaving in two days, so I don't think that I'll have time to go out. I still have to pack and say goodbye to my family. I guess you'll just have to survive until September 1. You've managed sixteen summers without me, I'm sure you can manage your seventeenth just fine.

Ta,

Lily Evans

* * *

Evans-

Just a reminder, we're apparating from my house at 2 p.m. tomorrow. Don't forget to tell Potter to direct all his love letters to Egypt...he might go mad if he doesn't hear from you for two whole days. Don't pretend you wouldn't, either.

Emmeline

* * *

Mary-

I know I will be seeing you in the afternoon, but this can't wait. Potter just left my house after a surprise farewell visit. When he showed up outside my window on his broomstick, I thought of your advice and had half a mind to ignore him, but how could I? I let him in and we sat on my bed and talked for hours. As I'm writing this I can picture your disapproving face...let me reassure you that _all _we did was talk. Oh fine, there was occasional snogging, but nothing for you to take on a tone with me. I also never noticed how nice his chest was until I had the pleasure of laying on it. It _was_ harmless, Mary, so keep the lecturing to a minimum when I see you. I do think I'm dangerously close to actually going beyond fancying him. I'm glad we're leaving for the summer, otherwise my plan of keeping things slow would be in severe jeopardy.

Lily

* * *

Lily-

By the time you get this I'm sure you'll already have apparated to Egypt; I hope I've addressed it correctly.

Remember when you said that you wouldn't have time to see me before you left? Well, Evans, I've caught you in your tangled webs of lies...you certainly made time for me last night when I appeared outside of your house. I know that midnight might seem like an unreasonable hour, but I had to make sure I caught you at home since you were "so busy." I hope we didn't wake your parents...your sister looked pretty furious when she poked her head in.

I really enjoyed talking with you. You're a lot more pleasant when you're not telling me off for being a prat (although I'm sure that I am more enjoyable when I'm not being a great prat). We should have more nights like these.

Anyways, be safe. And when strapping foreign wizards make a pass at you, remember that you have a handsome Quidditch god waiting for you back in England (who, I have on good authority, is also quite a good snogger).

Miss you already,

James Potter

* * *

James-

I suppose I have to admit that I enjoyed your company as well. No more surprise visits, though. What if I had been indecent when you poked your nose through my window?

We took a tour of the pyramids today. It's really quite fascinating how the ancients used their magic, although some of the curses looked pretty horrifying. I don't know why Mary bothered coming...her face was buried in my robes the whole time.

No strapping foreign wizards have made a pass at me yet, although I know of no handsome Quidditch god that has exclusive claims on me. There _is_ this one nice boy I know at Hogwarts who I think I might fancy (and is an excellent snogger)...but _he_ has no claims on me either.

Lily Evans

* * *

Evans

I don't know what you're playing at, but if you don't stop jerking my best mate around, I'm going to have to send a curse in my next letter. James has been moping about for a few days, and I finally understood why when I saw your last letter to him. He has no claims on you, does he? So you snog all your friends like that, do you? (If, in fact, you do, please accept my sincerest apologies. I'll have to see proof of that, though, by a demonstration with your best mate, Mary. But I digress). Anyways, be sure that I will not sit back and watch some bird take advantage of my mate.

Hope you're enjoying your holiday while James sulks around England,

Sirius Black

Ps. Send my regards to MacDonald

* * *

Black

I wasn't going to honor your impertinent note with a reply, but Mary wanted to respond, and I figured that I might as well add my word in. I'd just like to say mind your own bloody business. Just because I'm not immediately throwing myself at Potter doesn't mean I'm "taking advantage" of him. Mary would like to add that you can shove your regards up your—

Well, you get the picture.

Infinite Love,

Evans and MacDonald

* * *

James-

I haven't heard from you in a few weeks. I hope my last letter didn't offend you. I just wanted to make it clear that you do _not_ have claims on me...yet. If you keep snogging me like you have been, you're well on your way. In the meantime, I'd still really like to hear from you. I'm going to let you in on a secret: I enjoy hearing about your antics. I just have to pretend to disapprove because I'm a Prefect. After all this morbid ancient Egyptian sightseeing, I could really use a good laugh.

We're apparating to Greece tomorrow, so if you'd like to, contact me there.

Yours,

Lily Evans

* * *

Lily,

I've been very busy, sorry for not writing. Of course your letter didn't offend me...I know very well that, despite my wishes, we are not exclusive. No, I was just busy.

Are you sure you'd like to hear a story? It involves a certain _Snivellus_. I think it's too brilliant _not_ to tell. Sirius and I were visiting Diagon Alley the other day, and we saw Snape and a few other Slytherins heading towards Knockturn Alley. They were up to something, and Sirius and I decided that a good prank was in order. We slipped down the alley and followed them, until they stopped at Borgin and Burkes. Malfoy greeted them at the door after they said the password: Mudbloods. Well, with a quick flip of our wands, we had Malfoy and Snivellus hanging upside down in the middle of the alley, in front of all their little deatheater friends. We had some fun for a bit, but then they started blindly shooting off curses, and one nearly got Sirius, so we had to run for it.

You know, Evans, I've been thinking. You _are _a witch with apparating abilities. You should pop over if you have some down time. Don't pretend you don't miss me...I could practically smell the desperation in your last letter.

James Potter

* * *

James

I don't know how your owl managed to carry your letter to me...it contained so much of your fat-headedness. You're lucky you have some redeeming qualities, otherwise I might not find the time to write back. I suppose your encounter with the Deatheaters deserves some kind of response. I'll admit I might have smiled, but honestly, James. You're not in Hogwarts. Deatheaters aren't Slytherins who will be put in detention for fighting back...you can't go around playing pranks on them.

Mary apparated home today. We were exploring the ruins in Greece today and she stumbled upon some strange powder in a pot. The Healers couldn't figure out what it was, but she's had a horrendous cough since and can barely speak. She'll be at St. Mungo's for a while. It's quite a damper on our trip, especially on top of Alice complaining about how much she misses Frank. It's not like she'd see him much at home anyways; I assume you've heard he's begun his Auror training?

I've considered your notions of me paying you a visit, Potter, and the answer is no. Alice doesn't even apparate to see Frank; why should I have a special privilege? Plus I'm not sure how long I'd last with you, playing pranks on Deatheaters for fun.

Lily Evans

* * *

Evans

Where do you get off telling Potter and Black that I'm shacked up in St. Mungo's? They paid me a visit yesterday, and I was helpless. I couldn't speak to call out to the nurses to make them leave. I assure you, they enjoyed themselves with that one. Black took to levitating my panties and making them zoom around the ward. On top of that, I hadn't showered in three days. I was a mess. You completely ruined my plan of making Black fall for me again so I could cruelly reject him...who could fancy a smelly grease ball like myself, especially Black?

Well, Evans, I've gotten my proper revenge. It should be coming to you in a few days' time. In the meantime, I expect a constant flow of treats. This food is horrendous, and Black and Potter finished off the last of the chocolate frogs you sent.

MacDonald

* * *

Lily-

I'm writing to let you know that, with the assistance of your mate MacDonald, Lupin, Wormtail, Black and I had formulated a brilliant plot to surprise you, Emmeline, and Alice at Pompeii. However, my parents have recently taken ill, so I don't think we'll have the time. I just did not want our plan to go unappreciated. I might not have much time for writing, but that's alright. The term starts in a few short weeks. I have a surprise for you when we return.

James Potter

* * *

Lily-

I hope the rest of the trip is going well. I assume so, since you haven't had time to sit down and write your best mate a letter in a few days. I'm finally back at home with my parents. We got into another row about going back to school—there was a pretty large attack right outside of London the other day. Merlin...imagine if they'd remembered their experience at the football match a few years back. I wouldn't even be allowed to mention the name Hogwarts.

I also saw Potter and Black again when I was leaving St. Mungo's. I feel bad because I was a little rude to them because I thought they were back to harass me, but it turns out that Potter's parents were ill with Dragonpox. I asked my Healer about it and she said that it's a pretty common illness, but the Potters' case was pretty serious because of their age. Be nice to Potter, contrary to what I might have advised in the past.

Hugs and Kisses,

Mary

* * *

Mary-

I'm glad to know that you're safe. Our trip is going well...we've been spending a lot of time at the beach, since we've explored most of the ancient sites by now. I'm also sorry about your parents; you get in the same row every year, though, so you shouldn't be too worried about it. Of course you'll come back. Plus you're of age now, so they can't stop you.

Now I'm going to tell you something, and you must promise not to be cross. You might not be, but who ever knows with you, MacDonald?

Today I faked sick and sent Emmeline and Alice out for the day, and I broke our pact: I went to visit Potter. In my defense, his parents are _ill_. His last letter to me was lighthearted enough, but since when does James Potter admit to needing comfort? I apparated to St. Mungo's and, sure enough, he was there. His parents were being treated and I walked in on him in the waiting room. Oh, Mary, he looked so hopeless! I don't regret breaking our pact, because he clearly needed someone. He said Black was off taking care of Remus, who'd also fallen ill. James just grabbed me and _hugged_ me for a really long time. I suspect he might have held on so long because he was crying and didn't want me to see.

He said his parents are doing a bit better and might be able to return home by the time he goes back to Hogwarts. After a while, his mood seemed to lighten a bit and he was back to teasing me and asking about our trip. We went to get some lunch, and I was debating spending another hour or two with him afterwards, but then he suggested that we sneak into a broom closet and snog, and I knew he was feeling better enough for me to leave.

Don't tell Alice or Emmeline; they'll have my head.

Xoxo

Lily

* * *

Lily-

Thank you for your visit. Although there was no snogging in broom closets, I'm willing to forgive that on the basis of your wonderfully unexpected presence. My parents are back home, but I don't think they'll ever fully recover. The Healers said that they can't find a trace of the Dragonpox, but I can sense that they're still a little weak. I can't wait to get back to Hogwarts, but now I'm reluctant to leave my parents. I need to make this last year count; I realize that my mum and dad don't have too many years left, and I need to accomplish something to make them proud before they go.

I'll see you soon, I can't wait to show you the surprise

James Potter

**a/n: If you guys didn't like this letter-form chapter, don't fear: I'm going back to regular chapters after this one. Just wanted to mix it up.**


	20. Head Boy

** I was so excited to start writing about 7th year that I haddd to update. **

"Oy, Evans, hand that over!"

Lily jumped aside as Mary made a swipe for her everlasting eyeshadow.

"Get your own," Lily giggled, turning back to the mirror and delicately rubbing on the light, shimmery pink make up.

"The only color I have is blue," Mary pouted, watching Lily over her shoulder in the reflection of the mirror. "That's too _obvious_."

"What's obvious?" Lily asked, turning to hand her everlasting eyeshadow to Mary. She picked up her lash lengthening potion and turned back to the mirror.

"That I'm _trying_," Mary said, turning to her own mirror. "So I can make Black suffer. Why else would we be rubbing this rubbish on our faces?"

Lily blinked, lowering the bottle of her potion.

"I just want to look nice for the first day," she said defensively.

Mary let out a hollow laugh. "Come off it, you want to look good for Potter."

"I do not!" Lily protested. "If James doesn't like me the way I am, then bully for him."

"Ooh, _James_," Mary mocked, grinning at her best friend through the mirror's reflection. "Sorry, I forgot you two were on a first name basis."

"Oh shut it," Lily said grumpily. Mary had been extra merciless recently; Lily thought she was a bit bitter about not being able to finish the rest of their summer holiday together.

"We should apparate soon; it's already 10:30."

"What are we going to do with ourselves for half an hour?" Mary asked, not making a move to leave. "It's not like we have to go through the ordeal of traffic and parking and all that rubbish we had to do when we were underage."

Lily smiled and picked up her bottle of lash lengthening potion again. "I suppose so."

* * *

"You're nervous," Mary noted with a small grin.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily sniffed, although she stopped wringing her hands and forced them to her side. "Besides, _you_ look ridiculous."

Lily motioned to her friend's outfit. Despite the cool fall season, Mary had wiggled into an impossibly tight shirt and a skirt.

"We're not supposed to wear our robes onto the train," Mary said lightly. "Those horrid, baggy things detract from my plans, anyways."

Lily rolled her eyes. "They're _not_ baggy. We went to get them fitted better, remember?"

"Not tight enough for _him_," Mary said, narrowing her eyes across the Platform. Lily followed her gaze and saw Sirius and James greeting Pettigrew and Lupin. Lily looked away quickly; she wouldn't admit it, but she was nervous to face James.

They dragged their trunks across Platform 9 3/4 towards the Hogwarts Express. Lily looked around at the crowd. It was not the boisterous scene that she remembered from her first year. As she was not accustomed to, the noise was noticeably subdued, and people nervously glanced around as they hurried to their destination. Lily shook her head. Why wouldn't anyone believe that Hogwarts was the safest place in the world? Voldemort wasn't stupid enough to attack a large group of highly secured students and their magically capable parents.

"Lily, Mary!"

The girls turned at the sound of their names. They dropped their trunks and embraced Alice and Emmeline.

"We _just_ saw you the other day," Emmeline laughed, brushing off Lily's hug.

"Oh shut it," Lily giggled, forcing Emmeline into an embrace. "With Voldemort around, you can't hug anyone enough. Who knows when it will be the last time?"

"Wow, Evans, way to put a damper on your greeting."

Lily froze mid-hug with Emmeline at the voice.

"I know, right?" Emmeline teased. "Geroff, Lily, you're squeezing too hard—"

Lily immediately released her friend, realizing in her surprise she had grasped her friend too hard, and turned around to address Potter.

"Just being honest," she responded, nervously running her hand through her hair. "All right, Potter?"

"Fine, and yourself?"

"Good."

They stood there awkwardly for a moment, until Mary, Alice, and Emmeline's giggles broke the silence.

"Well, we're going to find a compartment," Alice said quickly, dragging Emmeline and Mary off. Lily was thankful; she could tell they'd been on the verge of saying something to make her blush even more than she currently was.

"So, Potter, what's my surprise?" Lily asked, clearing her throat.

"Ah," James said with a grin, sticking out his chest. Lily looked down and saw a Head Boy badged pinned there.

"_You_?" Lily asked in disbelief. "But you weren't even a prefect!"

James shrugged his shoulders, grinning.

"He actually confunded Dumbledore," Sirius said, joining them. "Not a surprise to see one on you, though, Evans."

"No, although apparently it's pretty easy to achieve nowadays," Lily said, stepping back towards her trunk. How did _Potter_ of all people get the Head Boy spot? She had worked hard for years, doing prefect duties fifth and sixth years with Remus.

James and Sirius exchanged an uneasy glance. Lily took this opportunity of the lull in the conversation to grab her trunk.

"Well, I'd better board...I'll see you at the front of the train in a few minutes, I guess," she added reluctantly to James.

She hurried away before they could respond.

"So guess what Potter's surprise was?" Lily raged, putting her trunk away with more force than necessary.

"Well it clearly wasn't a good one since he's been demoted to a last-name basis," Mary said playfully. Lily ignored her.

"He's _Head Boy_!"

Her friends turned and stared at her.

"Is Dumbledore mad?" Emmeline asked. "Giving Potter that much power? He goes around cursing people when there are prefects and Head Boys and Girls to stop him; what happens when he _is_ the head boy?"

"Exactly!" Lily said, satisfied that her friends agreed with her.

"Though, I haven't heard of him hexing anyone in a while," Alice noted. "Dumbledore probably noticed that."

"But Remus' _never_ hexed anyone!" Lily argued. "Just because Potter's evolved to act like how a decent human being should doesn't mean he should be rewarded—"

"But Remus never _stopped_ anyone from hexing people," Alice shot back. "You think James would let people walk all over him?"

Lily was quiet, racking her brain for another argument. When she couldn't come up with one, she shrugged her shoulders.

"I think he'll do better than you think," Alice said wisely.

"You should just give him a congratulatory snog and move on with your life," Mary teased. "Shouldn't you be getting to the front of the train soon?"

Lily glanced at her watch. "Yeah, I should."

"I'll go with you," Mary said quickly, standing up.

"Why?" asked Emmeline blankly.

"So that Black can catch a glimpse of her smutty Muggle outfit before she has to cover it up with some proper robes," Lily answered, sticking her tongue out at Mary teasingly.

"I just thought my best mate would like some company," Mary said lightly, opening the compartment door for Lily. "After you."

Lily brushed past her with a playful smile. She had to admit, Mary had become a lot more fun since Black had corrupted her.

* * *

"You're a git."

"It was quite a laugh."

"Get out of my room."

Mary flopped onto Lily's bed, ostentatiously sprawling out in defiance.

"Shut it...you're going to miss us tonight."

Lily sighed.

"I will, but you're only down the hall."

"You don't get to hear Alice's snores every night."

"I _will_ miss hearing Emmeline talk in her sleep," Lily admitted.

"You'll also miss _this_ beautiful face every morning," Mary said, plastering a huge grin on her face.

"I _won't_ miss you charming my hair so that it stands straight out right before I go to my meetings with the prefects, like that little stunt you just pulled on the Hogwarts Express," Lily said sternly.

Mary giggled and flicked her wand so that Lily's long hair stood on end again. "That's what you get for making fun of my "smutty" Muggle outfit."

Lily rolled her eyes but smiled. "And here you had me all last year thinking that you couldn't do silent spells."

"Ah, when properly motivated," Mary said with a wink. She flicked her wand again and Lily's hair repositioned itself on her shoulders properly. "Shall we play some chess in the common room?"

"Sure," Lily said, grabbing her chess set from her trunk. They descended the stairs from the girls side and positioned themselves in a pair of armchairs in the common room. It was mostly empty; people were too full and tired from the feast to stay up late.

After a quarter of an hour, during which Mary's white pieces had slowly demolished Lily's black ones, the portrait hole popped opened and two familiar voices caught their ears.

"—meet him tomorrow night."

"I don't know, Padfoot, now that I'm Head B—"

Potter stopped mid-sentence when he caught sight of Lily and Mary off to the side of the common room.

"Evans, MacDonald," he nodded.

"All right, MacDonald?" Sirius asked, wagging his eyebrows at her.

"Fine," she said evenly, focusing her attention back on her and Lily's game.

"Hey, Lily, come over here for a minute," James said, waving her over to the other side of the room. "Let Sirius here sit in for you."

"I'm in the middle of a game," Lily replied, trying to steady her quickening pulse.

"I want to play," Sirius whined, standing over her.

"When I'm done!" Lily answered, irritated.

"I don't know if I can sit through his stench for an entire game," Mary said.

"Wingardium Leviosa!"

Before Lily could grab her wand, she was hovering in the air at the mercy of Black.

"Put me down!" she demanded, holding her robes so that they couldn't see up them.

"Surely," Black said smoothly, waving his wand so that she hovered over to where James was sitting. He released the spell and she fell onto James' lap.

"Hello," he said, laughing.

"Your mate is a moron," Lily growled, pushing herself up to get revenge.

"Oy, sit here with me for a minute," James pleaded, gently grabbing a hold of her arm. Lily felt herself soften under his touch.

"Oh alright," she said, trying to sound grudging. Her heart began to flutter again once she was seated next to him, so close.

"I didn't get a proper hello," he said with a theatric pout.

"You didn't _need_ a proper hello," Lily pointed out. "I've been writing you all summer."

"Humor me," he said with a wink. He took her hand and kissed it, letting his lips linger. "Hello, Evans. How was your holiday?"

She watched him and held her breath in an attempt to slow down her out-of-control heart. He looked up at her from behind his glasses, still holding her hand, waiting for her response. She kept holding her breath, willing her hand to steady itself so he wouldn't feel her weakness in its shaking.

"Hello, Potter," she said, releasing her breath and forcing herself to sound bold. She turned her hand over in his and grasped it in a firm handshake. "My holiday was quite excellent. My friends and I toured Europe. How was yours?"

Lily was disconcerted when he didn't smile at their little game. He merely looked at her, studying her face. She squirmed under his intense gaze.

"I think I'll head up to bed," he said abruptly, standing up.

Lily suddenly understood why he was acting this way. _He_ had been just as nervous as _she_ had been. If he had shaken her hand and acted so casually towards her, she would be hurt, too. She got up and caught up with him in a few strides, glancing out of the corner of her eye to ensure that Mary and Sirius were still immersed in their game.

"James," she said, catching him by the arm and lowering her voice. "I've _missed_ you."

She grinned at him and put her arms around his neck, pulling him towards her. She really _had_ missed him, she realized, as she felt him smile from under her lips.

"Oy, Prongs, you have your own room now, you know."

They jumped apart at Sirius' voice. James shot his friend a warning glare and turned back to Lily.

"I thought you'd never admit it," he said with his signature grin of confidence, holding Lily's right hand and playing with the tips of her fingers.

Lily smiled back at him. "I just didn't want to add to your big head."

"Evans," he began, pulling her to his chest and kissing the top of her head, "if anyone's good at doing the exact opposite of that, it's you."

She inhaled deeply before reluctantly pulling away from him. He smelled just as intoxicating as always. "Good, someone needs to."

"Black, you CHEATED!"

Lily whipped around at Mary's voice. Her friend was on her feat, hovering over Black, who remained in his armchair, unconcerned.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said lightly. "You're just a sore loser, MacDonald."

"No, I just won't take your rubbish sitting down!" she said frustratedly.

He grinned up at her cheekily, obviously enjoying getting a rise out of her.

"Bow down to my superior chess skills, Mary."

"It's MacDonald to _you_," she spat, turning to clean up the chess sets.

"You're so hot when you're saucy," Sirius said, standing up and putting his arm around her waist. "Why don't we go—"

"Get your grimy hands _off_ of me, Black."

Lily decided it was time to intervene, for Black's sake. Mary had a crazed glint in her eye that Lily had never seen before.

"I've got this, Mary," she said, taking up putting away the chess pieces. "You'll never wake up for classes tomorrow if you don't get to bed now."

"Fine," Mary huffed. Without a second glance at Sirius, she marched up the stairs, and Lily faintly heard a door slam.

"Oh MacDonald!" Sirius groaned, falling back into his armchair.

"Keep it in your pants," Lily warned, waving a bishop at him. "I don't want to hear it."

"Evans, since when has your best mate been so—"

"Cheeky?" Lily suggested when he trailed off. "Never you mind, I'd leave her be if you value your life."

"Don't bother," James said, sitting next to his friend. "You can't reason with Padfoot."

Lily rolled her eyes and began placing the chess pieces she had gathered into their proper positions in the box.

"You know, Black, _she_ was the one that stopped me from hexing your head off when you treated her so horribly last year," Lily said conversationally. "You deserve any grief she gives you."

"She sure gives me _something_. Wouldn't exactly call it _grief_..."

Lily made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat and ignored him.

The three were silent for a moment, Sirius continuously fidgeting around. He levitated a chess piece from the table and lazily made it zoom around the room.

"So Evans, finally submitted to my best mate's charm?"

Lily ignored him and kept her eyes down on the chess pieces she was organizing, preferring not to respond. Sirius only grinned and continued.

"Took you long enough. Jamsie over here wouldn't leave the house over the summer if he was expecting your letters—"

"Come off it, Sirius," James said, averting his eyes from Lily. For his sake, she tried not to smile.

"Stop being modest, Prongs," Sirius said flippantly. He yawned widely. "This one had girls throwing themselves at him all summer. I don't know what kind of spell you have him under, Evans, but I should thank you. Left more girls for _me_ when he wouldn't have them."

Lily now had to bite her lip to keep from smiling. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw James, bright red, shooting Sirius death glares.

"Anyways," Sirius continued, now flicking his wand so the chess piece he was playing with cartwheeled across the floor, "it's about time. You should've _heard_ him in his sleep. It was always 'Lily' this, 'Lily' that—ARRG!"

Lily looked up at Black's sudden exclamation. James was on his feet and had his wand pointed at Sirius, who was upside down in the air with his tongue glued to his mouth.

"I think it's time for me to get this one to bed," James said, laughing at his best friend. Lily joined him, knowing that Sirius got what he deserved for his big mouth.

She waved goodnight to James as he levitated Sirius up the boys' side of the stairs. After she finished organizing the pieces, she fell back into her chair; she had been tense the entire time that James was in the room. She rested her head on the back of the chair, trying to recall his smell. She wondered if he was in his own dormitory yet, and what he'd say if she snuck in to say (what he would call) a "proper" goodnight?

Lily frowned suddenly, catching herself. She was becoming too comfortable with the idea of Potter. She still didn't know _why_ he fancies her, and if he actually knows who she is. She was becoming too invested before she knew if _he_ would be invested. She pictured Mary's puffy red eyes and recalled her sobs from last year because of Sirius.

"Slow down," she breathed to herself, resolved to be more reserved around James from now on. No more allowing him to pull her aside and trick her into snogging him.


	21. Expecto Patronum

**So I've been real busy this week (Halloween is a week-long celebration in college, and I had to show off my excellent Katy Perry costume every night). I didn't have time to reread this, so sorry if there's any type-o's (tell me in the reviews). This might be my favorite chapter...I think you guys will like it too :) Enjoyy!**

"Expecto Patronum!"

Lily resisted the urge to snap her wand in half when a whispy stream of mist, and nothing else, escaped her wand.

"Keep trying, Miss Evans!" Professor Flitwick said cheerfully, noting her frustration.

"What am I doing wrong?" she asked helplessly looking down at him.

"From what I can see, you're doing everything right," Flitwick squeaked. "The problem is that your memory isn't _happy_ enough!"

Lily sighed and flopped into her chair in exhaustion. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples; it had never taken her an entire class period to get the gist of a spell. When she opened her eyes, a silvery dove floated by.

"Oh, it's so pretty!" Mary cooed, watching her dove delightedly.

Lily felt a pang of jealousy as she watched her friend's delight. Not only could she not do the spell, but she wanted to know what her Patronus was.

"Having trouble, Evans?"

"Not now, Potter," Lily said, closing her eyes again and racking her brain for a good enough memory.

"I'll give you some good memories to use," he whispered suggestively in her ear.

"Not now," she repeated, although she couldn't deny that at any other time, she might have been more affected by his words. "I didn't see you make a great mastery of it, either."

"That's because I've learned this ages ago," he said, although when she opened her eyes, she noticed that he was sharing a glance with Sirius, Remus, and Peter. In fact, none of them were working on their spells.

"I don't believe you," she said, suddenly brightening. "I'm not the only one who can't do it!"

"Don't get too cocky, Evans," Sirius said, brandishing his wand. "Watch and learn. Expecto Pa—"

"_Sirius_," James hissed.

Lily knitted her brows, confused by their odd behavior.

"What are you hiding?" she asked accusingly.

They were saved from answering her when Flitwick dismissed class. James shot her a grin and went to get his books. She watched suspiciously as the four boys huddled together and whispered hurriedly.

"What's wrong?" Emmeline asked, no longer distracted by her silver fox that had been playfully rolling around the room.

"Why won't they produce Patronuses?" Lily asked, standing up to leave.

"Since when do they take class seriously?" Mary chimed in. "You're just mad because you couldn't get one."

"No, that's not it!" Lily insisted. "Potter stopped Black from producing his in the middle of the spell."

"Who knows?" Emmeline said. "Maybe they just have really embarrassing Patronuses."

"Black's is probably a great, stupid ape," Mary grunted.

"Not even close, MacDonald."

Lily watched her roll her eyes and quicken her pace, ignoring Black, who was coming up from behind her.

"Ignoring me only makes me want you more!" he called after her playfully.

"Good," Lily heard her mutter vindictively under her breath as she struggled to keep up with her.

* * *

"Come on, Evans, some practice will do you some good."

Lily ignored James, burying herself in her History of Magic book.

"McGonagall's classroom is empty right now," he said, lowering his voice and leaning in to her face from behind the armchair she was sitting in.

"Potter, you can't even produce your own Patronus, why would I get help from _you_?"

"Because," he said, leaning in so that only she could hear him, "you obviously need help creating better memories."

With a pang of annoyance, Lily felt her heart flutter that familiar way it had been doing while he was around. She peeked a glance out of the corner of her eye and saw that he was coming in with his lips towards her face. Reacting instantly, she held up her book so that James met with the hard surface instead of her face.

"Oy!"

"I'm trying to study," she giggled. Despite her rejection, he still leaned in closer, never to be deterred. She only giggled harder at his vain attempts.

"Come on, Evans, just save us some time and admit I'm more irresistible than Giant rebellions," he said, now comically wagging his eyebrows at her.

She continued to laugh, affectionately ruffling his hair with her hand. She suddenly had an idea, and mid laugh grabbed onto her wand, gave it a wave, and said, through her laughter, "Expecto Patronum!"

A solid, silvery figure burst out of the tip of her wand. She blinked and examined it; it was a doe. She stopped laughing, now filled with wonder at the beautiful creature.

"Oh!" she said softly.

She watched it for a moment, and then realized that James had fallen uncharacteristically silent. She realized she had been subconsciously waiting for him to gloat and take credit for her success. Instead, he was staring at her Patronus with an odd look on his face.

"James?" she asked, touching his arm in concern.

He turned to her, smiling widely. She was astounded to see a hint of tears brimming from his eyes behind his glasses.

"What's wrong?" she asked quickly, afraid she had done something wrong.

He seemed to find himself again and cleared his throat, looking away for a moment. He turned back to her as her silver doe began to fade.

"You should take a stroll with me tonight," he said with a charming grin.

"Okay," she said breathlessly. When once she would have been suspicious, and even flat-out denied him, she didn't even question him. There was something about the way he asked that made her unable to say no. It wasn't the same way he had asked her to sneak into Professor McGonagall's room to "study."

* * *

"You're just going out with him?" Mary asked, concerned.

"I can't explain it...I _had_ to say yes," Lily said as she ran a comb through her hair. She glanced quickly at her watch. It read quarter until one; she was to meet James in five minutes.

Mary shook her head, although she had a slight smile on her face.

"Who would have thought?" she said rhetorically. "Lily Evans, Head Girl, sneaking around grounds after hours with _James Potter_."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Oh hush, I told you...I don't think it's like that."

Mary suddenly became stern as she watched Lily put her cloak on.

"You watch yourself, sneaking around at night," she warned, a small crease appearing in her forehead. "These days you should question _everything_."

Lily was affronted. "James isn't like that! He's so against—"

"What about the Imperius Curse?" she suggested quietly.

Lily was silent for a moment, considering.

"No, he asked me after he'd seen the doe—something about it made him ask me. It's not like he's been trying to get me to go out."

Mary nodded, appeased.

"Fine, but if you're not back in an hour, or I don't hear from you, I'm getting Dumbledore."

Lily nodded silently. She felt a sudden feeling of sadness that they had to question so much, and couldn't just have some fun and sneak around their school—their home—carefree.

"Well, I should be going," she said, heading towards the door. "You'll be here when I get back?"

Mary smiled encouragingly. "Of course."

* * *

"This is awesome!" Lily whispered excitedly as she and James slinked down the hallway.

"Shh," he said with a smile. She could tell he was enjoying her excitement.

He glanced down at the worn piece of parchment she had seen fifth year—now revealed to be a special map of the school—and motioned for her to follow him.

She linked her arm with his so that she could stay close and not let any part of her slip from under the cloak. They slowly made their way down a few staircases and endless halls, until finally they reached the front door. James opened it just enough so that they could slip out, and then closed it silently behind them.

Lily could sense that it was pretty cold out, but the thrill of their adventure distracted her. James gently guided her across the grounds, until they were well concealed behind a patch of bushes by the lake. He pulled the invisibility cloak off and turned to her, concerned.

"Are you cold? You can have my cloak—"

"That map is amazing," Lily interrupted impatiently, reaching out and snatching it from him. "Where did you get it?"

She studied it closely so that her nose was nearly touching the parchment. There were a thousand tiny dots littering the map, each labeled delicately with a name. Currently, most were condensed to each House, although a few, such as Filch and Mrs. Norris, lurked the halls.

"We made it," James said with a small grin as he watched her.

Lily's jaw dropped opened. "_We_? As in you and the other Marauders?"

He nodded proudly.

She looked at him impressively. "I guess I've underestimated you all these years, Potter."

He grinned and cupped her cheek in his hand affectionately. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation for a moment, when she suddenly pulled away.

"No snogging until you've showed me what you came out here to show me," she said playfully. His face, which had tensed with worry when she'd pulled away, suddenly relaxed into a grin.

"Are you sure you're ready for it?"

She lifted her head defiantly. "I can handle anything you throw at me, Potter."

"Okay, Evans, but no screaming."

She smiled uncertainly. He was probably joking, she assured herself. Right?

"Don't look," he said, going to hide himself behind more bushes.

"Well," he added as an afterthought, "I suppose you _can_ look if you'd like."

She squinted her eyes in the darkness and saw him remove his shirt.

"James!" she said sharply. "What are you _doing_?"

"I just don't want to rip them," he assured her. She could hear the smile in his voice.

"On _what_?" she insisted, now becoming more uncertain.

"Look."

She turned around in time to see him tap himself on the head with his wand. He dropped it suddenly, and hunched over.

"James?" Lily whispered.

She watched as his hunched over figure grew a few feet and began to sprout dark hair. His face elongated and his eyes widened, so that they quickly became large and liquidy black. Finally, a huge pair of antlers sprung from the stag's head.

"_James_," Lily said, this time more loudly. She stared at the stag wide-eyed.

It cautiously approached her, extending its muzzle. She reached out instinctively and put her hand on it. It was just like that night a year ago...

"You _moron_!" she burst out suddenly, breaking the spell. The stag (or James?) stepped back uncertainly, watching her carefully with its head turned.

"You tricked me! _You_ were the stag! Let me guess, Black was the rat that stole my essay?"

The stag had retreated back to the bush. Soon, James was standing there again, quickly throwing on his robes.

"You enjoyed it," he said, smiling devilishly at her. "And no, the rat was actually Pettigrew."

"I could have been _expelled_!" she exclaimed, working very hard not to shout. "Just so you could indulge in whatever sick fantasy—"

"Evans," he interrupted, suddenly serious. "It _was_ selfish of me. I only did it because I thought I would never have a chance to get that close to you in person!"

Lily bit her lip, her anger ebbing away. It _did_ sound kindof sweet when he said it like that...

"Why else would I have done it?"

She looked at him grudgingly. "So you lot could have a laugh about it later."

He shook his head and smiled, pulling her into a hug. "Always so suspicious."

"Always giving me reason to be," she protested gently.

She stood there against the warmth of his chest for a moment, trying to process all that he had revealed to her in such a short time. He was an Animagus! So was Peter! That must mean—

"Black's a dog, isn't he," she said suddenly, pulling away to look at him.

He nodded.

"Oh, that's sick," she said, although she was smiling. The memory of their encounter with the black dog last year came back to her. "He _violated_ Mary's leg!"

James broke out laughing. "_That_ we got a laugh out of."

Lily shook her head. "So you're a stag—Prongs. Peter is a rat—Wormtail. Sirius is a dog—Padfoot. So what about Remus? Moony?"

James' smile faltered. "He—er—couldn't get the hang of it. It's just a nickname—"

"James Potter, you are _lying_ to me," Lily said, looking him directly in the eye, as though the truth was hidden in there. "If _Peter_ could get it, surely Remus...could..."

She trailed off at a distant sound from the Forbidden Forest. It sounded like a wolf. Unwillingly, she recalled Severus' theories. "_Always sneaking around at night...always during a full moon_."

"Oh, James!" she said softly. "He's a _werwolf_, isn't he?"

She noticed that James was watching her carefully. "Lily, you can't tell anyone. It's bad enough Snivellus is always following us around—"

He stopped when he saw the way she was glaring at him. "What?"

"James Potter, do you think I'm _that_ terrible of a person?" she said sternly. "Of course I won't tell anyone! Remus is so nice."

James looked visibly relieved. He hadn't seemed to anticipate her discovery of Remus when he planned to show her his secret.

"So what, you run off with him during the full moon?"

James nodded.

"That's so dangerous!" Lily said, stepping back to give him an effective glare. "What if—"

"It's worth it," James cut in quickly. "Lily, he tears himself up when we're not there to distract him. Remember how bad he was our first few years, before we could run off with him?"

Lily was quiet, impressed with James' loyalty. She bit her lip and sighed in assent. "I suppose."

"I'm fine _now_ aren't I?" he said with a grin. "We've got it down."

Lily was suddenly stuck with an idea.

"That's why you lot wouldn't produce your Patronuses in class today!" Lily said. "Because I would have recognized your stag, and every girl in Hogwarts would have recognized Black's dog."

He nodded and looked up at her shyly. "And then I saw your doe today, I _knew_ I had to show you the truth."

Lily smiled. "I'm glad you did."

She gasped as he suddenly pulled her closer and kissed her. She sighed against his lips, enjoying the rush of adrenaline he produced within her.

"What happens now?" he asked softly, looking down at her intensely.

Lily grinned and pulled her wand out of her sleeve. "Expecto Patronum!"

The doe emerged from her wand again and timidly paced back and forth in front of them.

"There's not much I can do about that, can I?" she said with mock exasperation. "I guess I'm stuck with you, Potter."


	22. Full Moon

**Heyy- So first off, I wrote a little one-shot for Halloween to commemorate Lily and James' death...go check it out ("In Memoriam"). It's sad, but you get to see Harry a year after Voldemort falls! Second, part of this chapter might border "M" rating, so I'll make sure to let you know when it's coming up if you'd like to skip it (you won't miss anything substantial to the plot). Finally, sorry it's a little fluffy, but I want a chapter with happy Lily and James, since their later years get a little darker :/ Keep the reviews coming! I love you all!**

**ps. I have the plot of my next story planned...I can't wait to start writing it! It will be more original than this one (where I stick to just JK's characters).  
**

"Evans, there's something on your robes."

Lily looked down, searching her chest and arms, then twisting around to try to get a glance at her back. She turned her eyes back to Sirius, who was sitting across from her with a small smile on his face.

"Where?" she asked.

"It's that big thing with glasses latched onto your arm," Black chuckled. "Looks like a parasite."

"Come off it," James said, blushing and releasing Lily's arm under the pretense of reaching for more roast.

Lily giggled and pulled James' arm back to hers, so that they were interlocked again.

"It's a very handsome parasite," Lily said, grinning at James.

"Don't make me throw up," Mary mumbled, rolling her eyes. "You two haven't let go of each other for the _entire_ day."

Lily ignored her and focused on her potatoes. She was too happy to be bothered by her embittered friend; she was now with _James_.

"Snivellus seems to agree with Mary," Peter commented, nodding over to the Slytherin table. Lily glanced up and saw that Severus was watching James intently with a very sour look on his face. It made Lily uncomfortable. Surely he wouldn't ever do anything rash—

"Oy, Snivellus!" Sirius called across the Great Hall. "Quit ogling!"

Lily bit her lip and tried to remain neutral while the rest of the Hall laughed. She didn't reprimand Sirius though, thinking of Severus' _true_ character. She had to remind herself that he wasn't the sweet, shy boy he had pretended to be around her.

She felt James inhale, as though he was about to join in. Lily caught his eye and knitted her eyebrows, silently pleading for him to remain dignified. He released the breath silently and squeezed her arm affectionately. No one around them seemed to notice.

"Only for you, Evans," he said in a low voice so that no one would hear. That was unlikely, anyways, for Sirius and Mary had just broken out into a verbal battle over the last biscuit on the table.

Lily smiled at James, and then glanced uneasily over to Severus one more time. His face was now hidden behind his characteristic long, stringy hair, but she had a feeling he was able to see her. She went to turn back to her food, but rested her eyes for a moment on the Headmaster. It was odd; he seemed to have been observing the scene with Severus with a quiet interest.

* * *

Lily put her Transfiguration book down for the umteenth time and paced around the common room, restless. Since they began dating, this was only the second time that James had gone out with Remus and the other Marauders on a full moon. She knew that he'd been doing it for two years now, but that did nothing to stifle the fear within her.

The first night, in October, she had seen him off and a few hours later had been forced to go to Madame Pomfrey for a calming draught. This was not unusual; 7th years often had panic attacks due to the excessive amount of N.E.W.T. homework that the professors deemed necessary to assign. Just as the draught began to wear off, James had returned with the other three, looking tired, but happy. She'd resisted the urge to throw herself at him in relief in front of his friends—Sirius' mocking would have been unbearable—and saved it for when they were in his room.

This night, however, she did not take a calming draught. She would force herself to get used to his adventures with his friends; it was for Remus' benefit, she reminded herself.

Lily stopped her pacing and glanced at the clock; she had half an hour until dawn. There was no way she was reading, and she definitely was in no state to do her essay, so instead she pulled a lily flower from her bag and pulled off a petal. She began prodding it with her wand. With a small "pop" it turned into a fish, which flailed helplessly on the table. Lily let out a small cry and instantly transfigured it back. She turned to the bowl she had sitting on the table and muttered "_aguamenti,_" filling the bowl with clear water. She dropped the lily petal in and began prodding it again, testing out different incantations.

"Evans, fancy seeing you up so late."

Lily jumped at Black's voice, causing the bowl of water she was hunched over to spill all over.

"What's all this?" James asked interestedly as the other three laughed at her clumsiness.

"It's something I'm working on for Sluggy," Lily said, smiling embarrassedly. She flicked her wand and the water evaporated into steam, leaving the table and rug as dry as before. "I want to give him a goodbye present when we graduate."

"Always the—little—teacher's pet," Black teased through a wide yawn.

"Thank Merlin that tomorrow is Saturday," Remus said, stretching his long frame. "We can sleep in."

"I don't know how you lot do it," Lily said, grabbing her bag and following them towards the boys' dormitories.

"Well, all these years would have been much easier if we'd had the Wit-Sharpening potion you brewed for us last time," Peter said sluggishly.

"I wouldn't have brewed it for you," Lily said. "You lot managed to get in enough trouble without your wits sharpened."

They laughed quietly as they made their way down the hall.

"Well, goodnight Evans, Jamsie," Black said, turning towards the boys seventh year dormitories.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Lily asked, holding her hand out.

"Come _on_ Evans," Black whined. "I just want to get in bed!"

"She has a point, Padfoot," Remus laughed, slipping in the door. He came out a moment later with the invisibility cloak. "After that last stunt you pulled—"

Lily snatched it from him before Black could get a chance to grab it back.

"I won't have you sneaking into James' room uninvited," Lily said, involuntarily blushing at the memory. She and James had been so preoccupied that they hadn't noticed his door creak open; Black's presence was only revealed once he jumped into the bed with them, causing Lily to fall to the floor in surprise.

"You don't think I've learned my lesson after that nasty Stinging Hex on my beautiful behind?" Sirius said bitterly.

Lily and the others laughed at the memory.

"Oh shut it...you lot didn't have to pull up your robes for Madam Pomfrey to rub ointment..."

He trailed off when he noticed that they were only laughing harder.

"You fully deserved it, Black," Lily said. "Go to bed, before we wake the entire House."

They muttered their goodnights, and with a playful pat to Sirius' rump (which caused another eruption of laughter), Lily headed to James' Head Boy room with him.

"You're evil," James said, kissing Lily affectionately on the forehead.

"_Someone_ has to keep him in line, and I know you won't do it," she said, dropping her bag to the ground.

"Who's going to keep _you_ in line?" he said mischievously.

"Hmm, I don't need that," she replied playfully.

With a glint in his eye, James tackled Lily to his bed, pinning her down and tickling her. Lily tried desperately to hold in her laughter, as not to wake anyone else, but failed miserably.

"James—get—off—me!" she gasped through her laughter.

With a last assault on her stomach, he released her. She sat up, gasping.

"_You're_ evil," she said. "You're lucky I didn't have my wand on me."

"You're so cute when you try to act tough, Evans," James teased, laying down next to her.

"You're so cute when you try not to act threatened by me," she shot back cheekily.

He grinned at her. She smiled back, blushing under his gaze.

"You should get some rest," she said, her playful tone softening.

"I haven't seen you all day," he protested, pulling her onto his lap so that one of her legs was on either side of him.

"You have all day with me tomorrow," she noted.

"That's a lie, Evans. You know you're going to lock yourself in the library to finish that Transfiguration essay."

She sighed, laying down on top of him so that her head rested on his chest. "I know. I tried to do it tonight, but I couldn't concentrate."

"You shouldn't worry so much," he said, resting a comforting hand on her head and stroking her hair.

"How was it tonight?" she asked, wanting to shift the focus from her fears.

"Fine, for the most part," he replied nonchalantly.

She raised her head to glare at him. "For the most part?"

"At the beginning of the night there were some people outside the Shack," he said. "We had a bit of trouble keeping Remus in line before they moved on."

"Who was out that late there?" Lily wondered.

"I couldn't catch a glimpse," he shrugged. He put his hand on her head again, trying to get her to relax. "They were wearing black cloaks and their faces were hidden."

"James," she said sharply, trying to lift her head from under his hand. "What if they were—"

"What would they want with a stag?" he interrupted soothingly. "And they sure as hell can't get through Dumbledore's barriers on the school."

"I still don't like it."

"I didn't say you should."

They fell silent for a moment. Lily enjoyed the feel of his heart beat against her cheek. He was so _alive_; of course nothing would happen to him. His pulse was too strong ever to fail her.

"I'm sorry, I'm being silly," she said softly.

"I like when you care about me," he replied. "It's better than when you _ignored_ me."

"I never ignored you, James...you made sure of that."

**(A/N: this is the mature-ish part. you may or may not want to skip over to the next section)**

She felt his chest rumble as he chuckled. She gasped as he suddenly flipped her over, so that she was now under him.

"I like that I can kiss you whenever I want," he said, planting soft kisses along her neck.

She breathed deeply, enjoying the sensation.

"I suppose I like when you kiss me," she replied breathlessly.

She eagerly pulled his face towards hers and kissed him deeply. He entangled his hands in her hair and followed her lead. They continued for a few moments, Lily impatient for him to take it further. As they continued to kiss, she guided one of his hands slowly down her side to her thigh. She wrapped her arms around his neck, waiting for him to continue what she had initiated. Instead, he kept his hand where she had left it. She decided a different approach.

"James," she said against his lips. "It's warm in here."

He instantly sat up. "I can open the window if you'd like—"

"I think there's an easier way for me to cool off," she said, suggestively fingering her night robe.

"Oh, right," he said with a smile. He leaned down and continued kissing her, while slowly beginning to peel off her robe. She kissed him ardently, trying to hurry him along, but to her disappointment, he took his time. In fact, it seemed as though her robes were not going anywhere.

"James, are you too tired?" she asked, slowing the pace of their kissing.

"With _you_ in my room? Never."

"You just seem—er—" she stammered for the right word. "_Reluctant_."

"I'm not!" he protested quickly, propping himself up on his elbow.

"Well why won't you..." she trailed off suggestively, pulling at her robes again.

"I—er..." She watched him closely as he shifted his eyes away from her.

"I _know_ I'm not the first girl you've snogged like this," she pressed. "What's so different—?"

"Because, Evans, I actually _care_ about you," he said softly, kissing her jawline as he said it. "I don't want you to think I'm disrespecting you or something."

She sighed and pulled him towards her, so that their foreheads were touching and eyes were level.

"James," she said mischievously, "I _want_ you to disrespect me."

* * *

"Alice. _Alice!_"

Alice looked up across the library table to Lily. This was the only place she could initiate the conversation with her without the others being around.

"Yes?" she whispered, with a quick glance over her shoulder to make sure Madame Pince was not around.

"I—er—have a question," Lily whispered, leaning closer to ensure that no one else could possibly hear.

Alice raised her eyebrows. "What is it, Lily?"

"What do witches do for—er—you know..." Lily trailed off, hoping she would get it. Alice merely looked confused, so Lily forced herself to elaborate. "How do you make sure that you and Frank don't end up with a baby."

Alice snorted. "Why didn't you just say so? You can take a potion from Madame Pomfrey...she doesn't really ask questions."

Lily sighed in relief. It really should have been obvious to her.

"What do Muggles do?" Alice asked with interest.

"Well, there's a pill you have to take every day," Lily whispered. "There's also a plastic-type thing that you can put on—"

"SHHHH!"

Lily and Alice jumped apart at Madame Pince's presence. They were silent for a few moments, until they were sure that she had passed.

"That sounds like a lot of trouble," Alice whispered back, giggling quietly.

"Anything is a lot of trouble without magic," Lily shrugged.

* * *

"Lily, I'd like to thank you for deciding to give into Potter," Mary said from the mirror in her room. Lily looked up from her _Witch Weekly_ that she was reading on Mary's bed.

"Why's that?"

"Because it gives me more opportunities to torture Black," she said, turning around. Lily let out an involuntary giggle at her friend. She had arranged her robes so that the curves of her cleavage were unable to be ignored.

"You look ridiculous," Lily said.

"It's not _my_ fault that Black has such gaudy taste," Mary shot back. "I'm going to have him on his knees—"

"Is that MacDonald going on about another one of her Black plots again?" Emmeline interrupted, walking into the room from the baths. "Good god, Evans, cast a silencio charm!"

"I'm enjoying myself," Lily said, winking at Mary. "I like when she gets all vindictive."

"Well, you'll have to cut it short," Emmeline said to Mary, "they're ready to head out."

Lily threw her magazine aside and grabbed her cloak and gloves; Hogsmeade in December was no joke. The Three Broomsticks was likely to be packed, so they couldn't count on that as a reliable source of warmth for the whole trip. Plus, Black had a nasty habit of starting snowball fights.

"_Finally_," Sirius groaned as Lily, Mary, Alice, and Emmeline descended the stairs. "You lot take forever!"

"Stop whining," Mary said, rolling her eyes.

The group made their way out the castle and towards Hogsmeade. As predicted, the Three Broomsticks was packed, but they managed to find a table in the corner large enough for the eight of them.

"I cannot wait for the holiday," Emmeline groaned as she sipped her Butterbeer. "No N.E.W.T. homework...no frozen Quidditch..."

"I'll sure miss MacDonald though," Sirius said playfully, moving to put his arm around her.

"Touch me, Black, and it will be the last thing you ever do," she said conversationally, then taking a huge swig of her Butterbeer.

They laughed at their friend, who was clearly not accustomed to rejection.

"You can't just wear your robes like that—"

"I'll wear them however I please."

Lily smiled and contented herself with sipping her Butterbeer and watching her friends bicker. Despite Mary's exterior, Lily knew that her best friend still felt the same way about Black as she had the first day she met him on the Hogwarts Express. Lily glanced around at her friends—Mary and Sirius bickering; Remus and Alice in deep conversation; James, Emmeline, and Peter discussing the Quidditch World Cup—and felt a small sense of sadness. She only had one more term left with them. It was hard to grasp that after seven years together—nearly half their lives—they would be separated.

"Alright, Evans?" James asked, cutting in on her thoughts.

"I'm fine," she said quickly.

"Good," he said, affectionately squeezing her hand. "My parents wrote to me today."

"Yeah?" she said nonchalantly.

"Yeah...they said they wanted to meet you over the holiday."

Before Lily could respond, Sirius cut in.

"Evans is staying with us? Oh, Prongs, we're going to have so much fun with her—"

"Don't scare her away before she even says yes!" James joked, but Lily noticed that he looked a little worried that there would be truth to his words.

"Of course I will," she said with an encouraging smile.


	23. Plans

**Yay, longest chapter to date! I wrote this while wearing my hot new deathly hallows necklace (which you can check out in my avatar pic)!  
**

**Anyways, this story is eventually going to come to a close (sadface), but as I've mentioned before, I have plans for another story (happyface). I've created a poll you can access through my profile for who you'd like the next love interest to be! You can also tell me in comments or via message or whatever. I'm open to all ideas!**

**Sooo, enjoy!**

"You're nervous, Evans," James observed, rubbing her arm affectionately.

"If I can deal with _you_ I can deal with anything," Lily replied through chattering teeth.

"Always that cheeky tone," he laughed. He suddenly stopped their progression to his house and gave her a gleeful kiss, lifting her up and spinning her around in the snow.

"What was that for?" she laughed.

James shrugged. "I'm not allowed to kiss my girlfriend?"

They had finally arrived at the front door of the Potter's house. Lily had, in her nervousness, accidently apparated a little way's off. Luckily, James had been anticipating her, and in his excitement had taken to walking around his grounds, and discovered her trudging through the snow.

Lily admired his house as she stood on the front door step and shook the snow off of her. It seemed very old, but beautiful; it was built out of elegant, grey stone, with charming windows and a dignified oak door. It was surrounded by a forest, and seemed to be set on a wide expanse of land.

"Mom, Dad!" James called, ushering Lily inside. She stepped in behind him, stripping off her cloak and gloves. James had put her bag down in the entrance hall and was now motioning for her to follow him into another room. She smiled and allowed him to drag her onward; he seemed so excited and full of energy. She could hardly keep up.

They now entered a large but cozy living room. Three people were seated next to an ornate fire place: Mr. and Mrs. Potter, and Sirius.

"Evans!" Sirius exclaimed, standing up to greet her.

"Hullo, Black," she said affectionately, returning his hug. He had grown on her in the past few months, and, in the boredom of her muggle house, she had even found herself missing him and his antics. Of course, she'd never admit that to Mary.

Lily pulled back and turned to the couple who were beginning to stand up. With a small pang of sadness, she noticed how much Mrs. Potter leaned on James when he helped her up.

"Lily, so glad to finally meet you!" Mr. Potter said kindly, reaching out his aged hand for her to take. His gip was surprisingly strong, despite his appearance.

"Very nice to meet you, too, Mr. Potter," Lily said, and she couldn't help but smiling kindly at his twinkling blue eyes. She turned to Mrs. Potter, who, now standing at her full height, looked very regal.

Lily began to hold out her hand as she did with Mr. Potter, but Mrs. Potter pushed her hand aside and pulled her into a warm hug.

"Lily Evans!" she exclaimed. "I feel like I know you so well already...don't bother with that hand-shaking nonsense."

Lily laughed and returned her hug with a little less energy; Mrs. Potter's frame felt frail through her robes.

"Mum," muttered James, looking a little embarrassed.

Mrs. Potter took no notice and motioned for Lily to join them by the fire. She took a seat in a large armchair, similar to the ones in Gryffindor tower, while James and Sirius took a couch. They sat in silence for a moment, observing her.

"Oh James, she's so beautiful!" Mrs. Potter suddenly exclaimed, with a brilliant smile towards Lily. She blushed modestly, and took to looking around the room instead of the four pairs of eyes on her.

"Your house is amazing," she commented politely. She got up and examined the assortment of objects on the mantlepiece. One in particular stuck her attention.

"What's this?" she asked, motioning to an hourglass with what looked like a whirlwind of sand in it. She noticed that Mr. and Mrs. Potter were looking into each other's eyes, as though silently communicating.

"The sand runs accordingly with the quality of conversation," Mr. Potter explained, taking his eyes off of his wife. "If stimulating, it moves quicker."

Lily nervously took a second glance at it. To her surprise, the sand was moving very quickly. She wondered what was so "stimulating;" no one was really conversing, that she could tell.

"Shall we have some tea?" Mrs. Potter offered, filling up the silence. Lily nodded quickly and took her seat again. "Mitzi—"

"No, mum, I've got it," James said quickly. "Mitzi didn't look well today."

Sure enough, there was a delayed "pop" and an aged house elf appeared next to the Potters.

"Misses called?" the elf squeaked weakly.

"Nevermind, Mitzi," Mrs. Potter said kindly. "James will get the tea. Please go rest."

"But Misses—"

"That's an order, Mitzi," Mr. Potter winked good naturedly.

"Masters is too kind!" the elf squeaked, before disapparating again.

"She is getting on in years, isn't she?" Mrs. Potter remarked as James returned to the room, hovering a tea pot, cups, and a tray of biscuits.

"Maybe we should look into getting another," James suggested. "You need someone to look after you—"

"Nonsense!" Mr. Potter interrupted. "We've been getting around perfectly fine."

Lily noticed James shoot Sirius a furtive look, and begin to open his mouth to retort.

"So, Lily, how was your Christmas?" Mrs. Potter said in a raised voice, putting an end to the argument.

"It was quite lovely," Lily answered, eager to contribute to the conversation. "My parents got a kitten for me to bring to Hogwarts."

"Really?" Sirius said suddenly, his eyes alight with puppy-like attentiveness.

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "Yes, and I love her _dearly_."

James snorted with laughter at their exchange, but covered it up to sound as though he was choking on his tea, so that his parents wouldn't notice.

"Do you have any siblings?" Mrs. Potter inquired, ignorant of what had just passed amongst the young people.

"Yes, I have a sister, Petunia. She's at University."

Mr. and Mrs. Potter shared a confused look, so Lily quickly elaborated, "School for Muggles." They nodded in understanding.

"Your mother is very lucky...I would have liked to have a little girl," Mrs. Potter said enviously. "She must be so proud of you...James tells me you're top of your class!"

"Hey!" James interrupted. "Me and Sirius aren't enough?"

"Oh, you're _quite_ enough," Mrs. Potter teased, reaching over and ruffling James' hair. Lily giggled as he ducked away, looking embarrassed.

* * *

"So, what did you think?" James asked, resting his head on Lily's knee.

"They're quite lovely," Lily said earnestly, looking down and rustling James' hair reassuringly. Unfortunately, the moment she took her eyes off the chess board, Sirius' bishop made a vicious attack on Lily's rook.

"Aha!" Sirius cried triumphantly. "They _loved_ you, too, Evans. _'Your mother must be so proud_...'"

"What's there not to love?" Lily shot back with a smile.

"They don't know this saucy side of you, that's what," Sirius said with a wink. As he did so, Lily positioned her queen so that Sirius' king was cornered.

"Gotcha!"

"Ah, damn," Sirius said, leaning back in his chair and resigning from the game. "I never had the patience for chess."

"You've never had patience, period," James teased, getting up to replace Sirius' seat. "Let me have a go."

"Only if you promise not to mope for hours after your crushing defeat," Lily teased. "Like last time."

Sirius laughed as James turned red. "It wasn't a fair game! I had this one"—he motioned to Sirius—"and Moony and Wormtail harassing me the entire time."

"Whatever you say, Potter," Lily said with an indulging smile, as though she were speaking to an angry five-year-old. James noticed her tone and stood up from the chess board.

"Nevermind chess, let's walk out to the town," he suggested. "There's a wizard pub behind the muggle one that has some good mead."

Lily, deciding it was best not to provoke James further, assented and stood up to get her cloak. When she returned, she was surprised to see that James and Sirius had not changed.

"It's freezing out...plus the sun will be setting soon!"

"We'd prefer to use our _natural_ cloaks," Sirius said with a wink.

"We're a few miles out from Godric's Hollow," James explained. "It will be faster this way."

Lily knotted her eyebrows in concern, but James just laughed and pulled her outside with him and Sirius. She shivered as she stepped into the thick snow and watched as they disappeared behind some trees.

"Grab our clothes, will ya, Evans?" Sirius called.

"If you're nice," she teased as a large, black dog emerged from the trees. The dog growled at her and playfully nipped at her heels.

"Bad boy...sit!" Lily cried out, laughing as Sirius continued his attacks on her.

A few moments later, the stag emerged, robes hanging from its antlers. Lily stared at James in this form for a moment before she climbed onto his back; he was still as beautiful as when she had first seen him by the lake. She stroked his face affectionately and kissed his wide, wet nose. He reciprocated by licking her face with his long, slimy tongue.

"Gross, James!" she giggled, wiping her face on his robes. He kneeled down so that she could climb on, and she grasped his antlers so that he could raise her to his back.

Before Lily had time to accustom herself to the odd seating arrangements (it wasn't every day she rode a stag), they were off. Lily held her breath to keep from screaming—they were flying at an amazing speed through the forest, barely skimming by branches. She resisted the urge to close her eyes and peered over James' antlers. The cool air whipping her face felt refreshing and exhilarating. She clung onto James' coarse fur, and after what felt like a few minutes, they began passing small cottages and James and Sirius slowed down to a slow trot.

James lowered his head and Lily slid down his neck. She hung their clothes on James' antlers and waited as they transformed back behind more trees.

"Oy! Evans! What did you do with my wand?" Sirius said as he stormed out from behind the trees.

Lily smiled and waved it tauntingly a few inches from him.

"Give it back or—"

"What are you going to do, Black? I have two wands, and you have none."

"Give it here!"

He came at her with a sprinting start. She cried out gleefully and took off, weaving in and out of trees.

"Can't—get—me—without—a—broom!" she called behind her back as he lagged behind.

She made a circle and ended her sprint by hiding behind James, who was laughing at her and his best friend.

"Prongs, mate, get it back from her!"

James laughed harder and ruffled Lily's hair affectionately. "Padfoot, I've learned long ago that I can't make her do anything she doesn't want to."

Lily stepped out from behind James and laughed at the defeated look on Sirius' face.

"I like getting a rise out of you, Black," she said, tossing his wand back to him. "Payback for all your years of torment on my friends and me."

"I've met my match," he said in a mock-mournful tone, wrapping his arm around Lily's shoulders. The three friends turned to walk towards the center of town.

"What happens if you use another wizard's wand?" she asked after a few moments of walking.

James shrugged. "Nothing, really. The spell's just weaker."

"Can I try?" she asked, but before she got an answer, she'd already grabbed James' wand from his cloak pocket.

"Sure," James said sarcastically.

"Expelliarmus!"

"Oy, Evans!"

Sirius bent over to pick up his wand; it had only dropped a few feet away from where Sirius was standing.

"You're right," she said, turning to James to return his wand. "It was weird...it felt less _satisfying_."

"Ah, Evans, James' _wand_ has been known to produce _unsatisfying_ results," Sirius said with a mischievous wink. Lily quickly whipped out her own wand.

"Expelliarmus!"

"EVANS!"

Lily and James burst out laughing as Sirius began to scale a tree to retrieve his ensnared wand.

* * *

"Oh, she's so sweet!"

Lily grinned and handed off Cliodna to Mary. She took the small, grey kitten and visibly softened, despite Sirius' presence.

"What'd you say her name was?" Alice asked, reaching over to stroke the kitten's head.

"Cliodna," Lily said distractedly. She had just noticed the way Sirius was watching Mary. "I saw the name in the History of Magic book a while back and it stuck with me."

"Little Clio," Mary cooed softly, snuggling the kitten to her face.

Lily continued to watch Sirius. He had a look on his face that Lily had never seen before on him; it was similar to the way James looked at _her_ just after she kisses him.

Mary suddenly cried out as Cliodna sprang to life and jumped from her lap. The kitten sauntered over to Sirius, jumped on his lap, and proceeded to fall asleep.

"She sure has a keen sense of character," Mary said sarcastically, eyeing the kitten jealously.

"Aw, lay off Sirius," James said, looking up from his Quidditch magazine and smiling at Mary. "We haven't even been back twenty minutes and you're already—"

"I'd _much_ rather have you here," Sirius interrupted with a wink at Mary. James trailed off and shook his head at his friend, smiling.

"What was that you were saying, Potter?" Emmeline laughed, reaching over to take Cliodna from Sirius' lap.

"Disgusting," Mary grunted, falling back in her armchair and folding her arms.

"You've always had a way with words, Padfoot," Remus commented. The group laughed, save Sirius, who was grinning proudly, and Mary, who was shooting him dirty looks.

"Oy, I can't believe we're starting our last term tomorrow!" Peter said suddenly.

The group fell silent.

"I know," Lily said softly. "What are you lot doing after school?"

"I guess that depends on our N.E.W.T. results, doesn't it?" Alice said. "Hopefully I'll be able to start Auror training..."

"Too much paperwork," Sirius commented. "I'd rather just _be_ out there fighting."

Lily bit her tongue and averted her eyes down to her lap. Sirius would be _perfect_ for The Order. She thought of it sadly—Dumbledore had never approached her since she had expressed interest to McGonagall. He probably _did_ believe she was too young. She felt a small spark of anger in her chest. She was the top of her class, and they _needed_ people like her—

"Evans?"

Lily snapped out of her thoughts when she saw that her friends were looking at her as though someone had just asked a question.

"Er—what?"

"What are _your_ plans?" Remus asked politely. She noticed that James was watching her closely. They had never really talked about what would happen after Hogwarts.

"Oh you know," she said lightly. "Make lots of little Potter babies, carry on the family name, live off of James' fortune."

They laughed, but Lily caught James' eye and knew that she had not yet avoided the discussion.

"I'm not too keen on the Ministry myself," Emmeline said darkly once the laughter had died down. "The Holyhead Harpies don't seem to attract too many deatheaters, though."

Alice looked uncomfortable. "Someone needs to fight back. What else can we do?"

"We're not all as brave as you," Emmeline said soothingly.

Each person fell into a silent reverie at Emmeline's words. Lily looked around at each of her friends' faces. They were all tense and worried; future prospects weren't bright for them. Many people were in hiding, and businesses were falling apart. Lily wanted to comfort them—there could be no harm in telling. None of these people were likely to ever side with Voldemort. She opened her mouth, but her moment of boldness was interrupted by Mary.

"I'm exhausted, I think I'll call it a night."

Many nodded in assent, and Lily felt her courage ebb away. Perhaps it was useless and foolish to tell them about the Order, anyways. Dumbledore didn't even trust _her_.

Lily got up to head towards the girls' dormitories, but someone stopped her.

"Can I have a word?" Sirius asked earnestly, grabbing her wrist.

Lily nodded her head, caught off guard by his serious demeanor. She took her seat again and they waited for the others to leave. James looked at his friend curiously, but continued on, motioning for Lily to follow him when she was finished with Sirius.

"What can I do for you?" she asked conversationally, turning towards him once the common room was empty.

"I'm going mad, Lily," he burst out. She jumped back, startled, as he sprang from his seat and began pacing in agitation.

"What's wrong?" she asked, alarmed.

"Your damn friend, MacDonadl!"

Lily bit her lip to keep from laughing. She wished Mary were here to witness all her hard work come to fruit.

"What about her?" Lily inquired evenly, trying not to reveal any prior knowledge of Mary's plans.

"No matter what I do she turns me away," he said defeatedly, slumping down into his armchair again. He unconsciously stroked Cliodna as she crawled back onto his lap, purring. "Doesn't she know how much I _want_ her?"

Lily smiled kindly and patted his knee. "Of course she does. She also remembers how you treated her when you _did_ have her."

He looked away from Lily and down at Clio guiltily. "I was young and stupid," he said gruffly.

"You remind me of your best friend and a certain girl _he_ was infatuated with," she said with a wink.

Sirius smiled weakly. "That's different. Jamesie never treated you like dirt."

"Yeah," Lily said thoughtfully, "but I definitely noticed it when he stopped acting so 'young and stupid.'"

He sighed. "Tell me what to do, Evans."

Lily bit her lip and thought. "Well, she does love animals—"

"—I'll get her a cat!"

"No," Lily laughed. "I think she really liked that _big, black dog_ she saw one time."

Sirius looked skeptical. "She'll just think it's some ploy I've made up—"

"It worked for James, didn't it?" Lily asked with raised eyebrows.

"I suppose," he said, a small smile on his lips.

"Shall we plot an encounter, then?"

* * *

"What'd Padfoot want?" James asked, sitting up from his crouched position on the floor. Lily saw that he was polishing his broomstick.

"Some womanly advice," she said vaguely. She nodded to his broomstick. "I think you love that thing more than you'd love your own son."

James grinned sheepishly. "I'll keep little James junior just as polished and shiny when he comes along."

Lily giggled and put Cliodna on the floor so that she could pull James onto his bed.

"I wish you could sleep in _my_ dormitory," Lily sighed, adjusting his pillows. "I charmed my mattress so it's so much softer..."

"Don't bring your wand anywhere near my mattress, Evans," James said sternly. "You know I like it firmer."

She sighed theatrically and kissed his cheek. "Anything for you, darling."

"That's right," he said, laughing at her sarcasm.

Lily smiled and closed her eyes. It had been a long day, and she was ready to sleep. James, however, had different ideas.

"Why didn't you answer Moony, about after Hogwarts?" he asked.

Lily opened her eyes and saw that his face was contorted into a look of concern. She smiled, trying to make him more at ease.

"I was just joking around," she said.

"What _are_ you planning on doing?"

"Oh, probably Healing," she said nonchalantly.

He was quiet for a moment, studying her.

"For someone who is so enthusiastic about homework, you don't sound very excited about your future profession."

Lily propped herself up on her elbows and stared back at James. She bit her lip and smiled, stroking the side of his face with her hand.

"Nothing about me gets past you, does it?"

James shook his head proudly. "Now spill."

Lily took a deep breath. James of all people would never betray her, or, especially, the Order. She was positive that even if they one day went their separate ways, he would never fall to Voldemort.

"You can't tell anyone," she said seriously. "Not even your Marauders. Promise me, James."

He nodded. "Of course."

"Have you heard of the Order of the Phoenix?"

James shook his head, watching her with wide eyes, as though a little boy being told a particularly interesting bedtime story.

"It's a group of wizards outside the Ministry," Lily continued quickly, in a low voice. "I think Dumbledore himself is in charge of it."

"What do they do?" James whispered eagerly.

"They get information on Voldemort. They're a secret group, so they can have spies, and deatheaters don't know who to target, like they do in the Ministry."

James was quiet for a moment. "And that's what you're going to do after Hogwarts?"

"I want to," Lily said softly, looking away. "I told McGonagall that Slughorn had told me about it, and she said she would ask Dumbledore, but he's never said anything."

"He'd be crazy not to let you join!" James exclaimed. "You're brilliant!"

"I'm probably too young," she said modestly.

"Nonsense, Dumbledore needs young blood like us!"

Lily looked to him sharply. "_Us_?"

"Well of course I'm going to join," he said, laughing at her shocked face.

"But _I'm_ not even supposed to know! McGonagall will have my head if she finds out—"

"What's she going to do, put you in detention after we graduate?" James said sarcastically.

Lily smiled. "I suppose not. But I've already told you, he's not going to let me in."

James took her hand. "I managed to get _you_ to say yes to me, didn't I? Dumbledore will be a pushover."

**Thanks for reading...don't forget to vote in the poll (and review!)**


	24. Death Eaters

**Update...hurray! Don't forget to vote on who you want my next story to be about. Some asked if this story was ending soon...I don't think it will be. As I said, I'm going to cover all the time Lily spends in the Order, up until her death (including the 3 times she and James defied Voldemort). I think it still has 10 more chapters or so to go. **

**Enjoy & review!  
**

"He's in detention _again_?" Mary said in exasperation.

Lily shared a look with James as Remus nodded his head.

"Missing him, MacDonald?" Peter teased.

"No," she spat defensively. "I just—er—can't believe he's still immature enough to land himself detentions."

Emmeline giggled at her friend, but covered it up as a cough when Mary shot her a look. The group, minus Sirius, continued down the well-trodden path towards Hogsmeade. Lily hooked arms with James and breathed deeply. The sad, winter weather had slowly slipped away while Lily and her friends were busy studying for their N.E.W.T.s, and this was the first time they were able to enjoy the warmth in weeks.

"It's too bad Sirius can't make it," Lily continued, trying to keep a straight face. "It's wonderful out."

Mary was silent, until they finally arrived to the town.

"Shall we get some iced butterbeer?" she suggested. "I've been dying for—Oh!"

Mary's sentence trailed off as a large, black dog came bounding towards the group.

"It's the dog!" she cried out in delight. "I can't believe no one's taken him in since our _last_ Hogsmeade visit—come here boy!"

Mary sank to her knees and the dog greeted her by putting its front paws on her shoulders and licking her face enthusiastically. Lily squeezed James' hand, trying to hold in her laughter. She tried to imagine what Mary's reaction would be when she found out the truth about her furry friend.

"D'you think I can take him back to Hogwarts and keep him in your room, Lily?" Mary pleaded, scratching the dog behind it's ears. "It was probably so cold over winter—"

"Absolutely not...I'm head girl! I can't break the rules!"

James snorted, but Mary was too preoccupied to notice.

"You lot go on without me...I want to make sure he's eaten."

"I'm sure he's _starving_," Lupin said with a small smile. "He probably hasn't eaten since 11 this morning..."

Mary shot him a dirty look, which prompted them to move on. Lily was dying to make a comment, but Emmeline and Alice were still ignorant to the Marauder's abilities. Instead she contented herself with catching their eyes and smiling discreetly.

"I'll go grab the drinks," Lily volunteered, motioning for her friends to go on and sit down.

"Hello, Lily dear," Madame Rosmerta said kindly. "What'll it be today?"

"Six iced butterbeers," she said, putting down a few sickles.

"Be right back with that," the beautiful witch said with a wink. Lily smiled and leaned against the bar. She hadn't had a butterbeer in weeks...she could already feel the creamy sensation in her stomach—

Lily's thoughts were interrupted by muffled barks and a shriek. She ran to the door—it had to be Mary and Sirius, who else could it be? As she stepped outside, the snarls and shouts grew louder. She followed them around the corner and down an alleyway next to the Three Broomsticks, and gasped at the scene.

Mary was hovering in a corner against a wall, and Sirius was in front of her, barking ferociously. He was defending her against three hooded figures, who were laughing maliciously.

"Ooh, look, MacDonald's got herself a body guard."

"Come here, sweetie, we can take better care of you than that mutt—"

Sirius lunged at the figure and attacked, teeth bared. Another figure slipped by him and grabbed onto Mary's shoulder. She began to fight back viciously as the other two grappled with the large, black dog.

"Get him off! _Get him off_!"

"Hold still! _Avada K—_"

"EXPELLIARMUS!"

Lily sprinted towards her friends, her wand up. The figures turned towards her, and Lily noticed that their faces were masked. She dimly realized that they were probably death eaters, but she had no time to dwell on this; one was retrieving his wand, and might try another killing curse on Sirius, who was still fighting valiantly.

The one not occupied with Sirius turned his wand on Lily. Sirius latched his jaw onto this one's leg, tearing viciously.

"Shit!" one cried, stepping away from Mary and facing Lily.

"Let's go!"

"Grab the girl!"

"NO!" Lily screamed. She said the first spell that came to mind: "_Levicorpus!_"

Mary was lifted out of the death eater's hand and levitated above him.

"Just GO!" one shouted, managing to kick Sirius off of his leg. With three loud cracks, Lily, Mary, and Sirius were alone in the alley.

Lily turned towards Mary and grabbed her into a fierce hug.

"What happened?" she asked soothingly, stroking her hysterical friend's disheveled hair.

However, Mary was sobbing too hard to form discernible words. Lily looked over her friend's shoulder to Sirius, who was staring at her with his intense, black dog eyes. Lily gave him a small shake of her head, indicating that he should remain in that form for now; Mary had endured enough for the moment.

"Mary, I can't understand you," Lily said, trying to calm her shaking voice. The magnitude of what had just occurred was beginning to sink in. "I'm going to take you to Dumbledore straight away...he needs to know what happened."

Lily began dragging her friend towards the school, but Mary resisted. She ripped herself from Lily's grip and turned towards the dog. She threw her arms around Sirius and sobbed heartily. It gently licked her ear, and Lily began to silently shed tears at the scene; Mary had no clue how much Sirius cared about her.

They were interrupted when James came running around the corner. He saw Lily's face and pulled her to his chest.

"What happened? We saw you run out of the Three Broomsticks and—"

"Mary was attacked, I think by death eaters," Lily said in a low, quick voice. "We need to get her to Dumbledore now, and tell him what happened."

James nodded seriously, and went with Lily over to Mary to goad her into coming with them.

"C'mon, Mary," he said gently. "I'll get Peter to look after the dog...you need to come with me and Lily now."

Mary nodded and, with one last squeeze of the black dog, turned to walk between Lily and James.

* * *

Lily stood in the castle entrance and paused.

"James, I don't know where Dumbledore's office is," she said, a note of panic in her voice. "We _have_ to find him—"

"This way," he said soothingly, guiding her and Mary down a corridor. Lily mentally smacked herself; of course James would know where it was; he and his friends had created the _Marauder's Map_ for Merlin's sake!

They arrived at a pair of stone gargoyles. Lily looked at James uncertainly behind Mary's back, but he still looked calm.

"Lemon drop?"

The gargoyles remained stationary.

"Guess some sweets," James urged. "I've heard McGonagall use the password a few times before...Pumpkin pastry!"

"Erm—Ice Mice?"

The gargoyles sprung to life and moved aside, revealing a spiral staircase.

"Good one," James said with an affectionate wink at Lily. She smiled briefly, warmed for a moment; leave it to James to make her smile in such a situation.

They ascended the staircase, and arrived at an ornate pair of doors. Lily glanced uneasily at James, and he boldly held up his fist and rapped on the doors. They slowly opened, and revealed a large office decorated with hundreds of paintings, many unnamable trinkets, and one large desk. Behind the desk, Dumbledore sat, showing no sign of surprise at their appearance.

"Miss Evans, Miss MacDonald, Mr. Potter. Please, take a seat."

With a swish of his wand, three comfortable-looking armchairs appeared in front of his desk. Lily guided Mary to a seat, and then took her own seat next to James. Dumbledore studied their faces with a mildly interested expression.

"What can I do for you?"

Mary was still inconsolable, so Lily began.

"Well, Professor," Lily began, looking uneasily over towards Mary. "Mary was—erm—attacked at Hogsmeade."

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, but made no other motion to show that he was surprised.

"Go on."

Lily quickly re-told her part of the story, James nodding in support when Lily seemed to be in danger of losing her voice to tears. However, she persevered, and fell into silence as her story came to a close.

Dumbledore nodded and was silent for a moment. He turned to Mary.

"I'm afraid, Miss MacDonald, that I'm going to have to ask you to recount your story for me. It is imperative, because if they were indeed deatheaters, the proper course of action must be taken."

Mary nodded timidly, clearing her throat weakly. Lily looked at her sympathetically and placed her hand over Mary's in her lap.

"I—I was playing with a stray dog," she began, "and some people came out of Hogs Head and started saying stuff to me, and—"

"What kind of 'stuff,' Miss MacDonald. Details are important."

She took a deep breath, and Lily squeezed her hand. "They—they called me mudblood, and—and—" her voice broke off, and she blushed. "They said they were going to do _bad _things to me."

She looked up at Dumbledore, imploring him to understand so that she wouldn't have to repeat what they said. He gave her a quick nod, and motioned for her to continue.

"I told them to sod off, and tried to shake them off, but they followed me," she continued quickly, as though eager to get the words out of her mouth. "They said they wanted to take me somewhere—and the dog attacked...tried to protect me...and they were going to use Avada—Avada—"

Mary's words were lost to sobs again. Dumbledore nodded again and stood up.

"Thank you for your information, Miss MacDonald, Miss Evans," he said gravely. "Return to your house, and rest yourself for the remainder of the weekend. I must go alert the Ministry. We will be in contact."

Lily put her arm around Mary and guided her towards the stairs. James patted her shoulder and held the door opened for them. They walked back to the common room in silence, and Lily was not surprised to see the rest of their friends awaiting them.

Sirius stood up abruptly, and Lily gasped.

"Sirius, your eye!"

He ignored Lily's reaction to his blackened eye and pulled Mary into a silent hug. She didn't resist, but instead melted into his chest.

"What happened?" Emmeline said sharply. "What's going on?"

"Shh," James hushed, glancing around the common room. "We'll talk about this upstairs."

Lily nodded, and they herded up the boy's stairs and into the 7th year boy's dormitory. Sirius guided Mary to his bed and sat next to her, keeping her close. Lily sat next to Remus on his bed, James' head between her knees. Alice and Peter sat as well, but Emmeline remained standing out of anxiety.

"What happened?" she demanded, turning on Lily. "We saw you rush out—"

Again, Lily took it upon herself to re-tell Mary's story. She determinedly avoided Sirius' eye, as not to give his role as the dog away.

"You think they were death eaters?" Alice asked softly.

Lily nodded. "I'm _sure_ they were death eaters."

The group fell silent, except for Mary's occasional sobs.

"Oh, Mary," Emmeline said, falling onto her friend. "What did they _want_ with you? Can you imagine..."

"She's safe now," Sirius said gruffly, pulling her in tighter.

* * *

Despite the scare, Mary attended classes all week with regularity. In fact, she almost seemed to be back to normal. It was a relief to everyone on the following Monday morning when she swatted Sirius' arm off of her shoulder and shot him a look of the deepest contempt.

"I was so _stupid_," she lamented to Lily on their way out of the Great Hall after dinner, a few weeks after the Hogsmeade incident. Sirius had just suggested sneaking into James' room while he was on Head Boy duty, which was not met well with Mary. "In my moment of weakness I turned to _him_?"

Lily smiled to herself as they rounded a corner.

"I thought it was sweet. He turns into an adoring _puppy_ when you're around."

"Oh, speaking of puppies, I wonder what happened to that black dog—?"

Mary stopped talking as they approached a small group of Slytherins. They stopped walking, watching Lily and Mary intently. Lily glanced over them instinctively, and was relieved to see that Severus wasn't with them. Mulciber, however, was.

"Oy, MacDonald," he grunted. She froze at the sound of his voice. "Fancy a trip to _walk your dog in_ _Hogsmeade_ sometime? Pretty little thing like you..."

His cronies laughed heartily as he trailed off suggestively.

Lily rounded on him. She understood why Mary froze; Mulciber's voice sounded identical to the hooded figure who had tried to disapparate with Mary.

"Touch her, Mulciber, and I'll hit you with much more than an expelliarmus spell next time," Lily said in a low, even voice.

She saw, with satisfaction, a small instance of fear flicker behind Mulciber's squinty, muddy eyes. He played it off with a loud guffaw, he and his friends mocking Lily.

"Evans, someone needs to teach you to keep that mudblood mouth _shut_."

Lily whipped out her wand. She might have been able to take them all on—at least she'd get one good shot at Mulciber's face...

"_Enough_."

Lily spun around in shock at the sound of Severus' voice. She was even more shocked to see that they listened to him.

"Do you morons want to get yourselves kicked out of Hogwarts?" Severus scolded. "Especially for such a—" he paused dramatically, meeting Lily's eyes "—_trivial_ reason?"

Mulciber grunted, and with a suggestive wink at Mary, turned to follow Severus towards the Great Hall. Lily stood there, feeling as though she had been immobilized.

"They're death eaters," she whispered, forgetting about Mary's presence. "They're death eaters, right here in Hogwarts!"

"Lily, don't say that!" Mary hissed. "That's horrible. They're monsters, but Dumbledore wouldn't let _death eaters_..."

"Maybe they're not yet," Lily conceded, quickly continuing their path towards the Gryffindor common room. "But you can bet they've been in contact with _him_."

"I don't believe it," Mary said firmly. "He was just teasing me...he probably heard what happened. It wasn't him, and I know that's what you're thinking."

"Open your eyes!" Lily burst out in frustration. "Just because you don't want to believe it doesn't mean it's not true! They're who we are going to be _fighting_ in the future! They wanted to drag you off and do horrible things to you because they think you're just a filthy mudblood! Stop making excuses for them!"

"Good evening, ladies."

Lily's stomach seemed to jump to her throat. Dumbledore was around the corner, and likely heard everything she had just shouted at Mary. They muttered quick, embarrassed hello's, Lily keeping her eyes on the ground.

"I was just off to try a new sweet that Hagrid brought me from Honeydukes," he said, pleasantly unaware of Lily and Mary's feelings of awkwardness. "Would you care to join me, Miss Evans? I am unaware of the effects of 'Ice Mice' and I feel another person should be present, in case it has unfavorable side affects."

Lily couldn't even speak; she only nodded, and, with one last uneasy glance at Mary, followed Dumbledore in silence. They arrived at the gargoyle statues, which sprang aside immediately at Dumbledore's presence, and they ascended the spiral staircase.

Lily took a seat in front of Dumbledore's desk and waited on the edge of it, unsure of what he wanted from her.

"I will not lie and pretend that I did not hear your unforgiving speech to Miss MacDonald," he began, seating himself at his desk and giving Lily a piercing gaze.

"I'm so sorry Professor—"

He held up his hand, immediately rendering Lily silent.

"Professor McGonagall came to me a few years ago with a very interesting piece of information," Dumbledore continued, giving Lily what felt like an appraising look. "She said that one of her students—you, in fact—came to her, and said that your future ambition was to become a part of a society called the Order of the Phoenix. Am I correct?"

Lily nodded, now unable to feel her pulse.

"Well, Miss Evans, I believe you have proved yourself quite worthy to become a member."

Lily opened her mouth in surprise, but couldn't think of anything to say. Dumbledore thought _she_ was worthy!

"Does the Order have your service?"

Lily nodded enthusiastically, still unable to speak.

"Excellent. You will be inducted the summer after you finish your studies—"

"But, sir, I want to begin immediately!"

Lily was instantly embarrassed that she'd interrupted him, but he didn't seem to mind. In fact, there was a twinkle in his eye.

"Miss Evans, I think you'll find that you will want a few months to yourself before you begin such dangerous and arduous work."

Lily nodded.

"You have displayed great bravery and fearlessness over the past few weeks, and that is exactly the type of person we require. You were not wrong in surmising that some of your classmates may one day become death eaters, and that is the kind of realistic thinking we need. The Ministry is unable to think so clearly, and that is what distinguishes the Order."

Lily nodded again, trying not to feel _too_ proud. _Dumbledore thought she was worthy_!

"Thank you so much, Professor," she said.

Dumbledore hesitated for a moment, looking her over.

"Perhaps one day you will not thank me so much," he sighed. "So young, and so eager..."

Lily remained silent; she wasn't sure what the appropriate response was.

"Well, Miss Evans, I'm sure your friends are waiting for you and your opinions on Ice Mice," Dumbledore said, his tone changing from grave to lighthearted in an instant. He pulled something from his desk, and it was a white mouse made of sugar.

"Thanks, Professor," she said, taking the candy with a smile as she got up to go. She suddenly felt lighthearted.

"Oh, and Lily," he said, stopping her just before she descended the stairs. "If you know of any more possible recruits, I am always open to suggestions."


	25. The Bar on Knocturn Alley

**So this chapter is super long, but very eventful. I hope you guys enjoy it (tell me in the reviews, as usual!) **

**Disclaimer: The last scene is based on a poem/short film by Jamieson Ridenhour called "Cornerboys" (it's on youtube, I'd highly suggest looking it up) **

"I can't believe you took _all _of them," Lily said in exasperation, turning to James. "Dumbledore's going to think I've gone and run my mouth all over Hogwarts—"

"Oh come off it, Evans," Emmeline said with a smile. "You're just mad that we're stealing your glory. You're not the _only_ person Dumbledore trusts."

Lily was affronted. "That's ridiculous! If you think that I'd go running off to risk my life just to gain some _glory_—"

"Right, you're mixing her up with Sirius," Peter interrupted. The group burst out laughing, Lily even joining in. Sirius looked uncomfortable, shooting glances over towards Mary, who was laughing as well.

"I don't want anything but to see Mulciber dead," he growled. The friends' laughter died down with Sirius' threat.

"We're not going to run off killing death eaters!" Lily said quickly, with a stern look towards Sirius. "We're spying and gathering information. If we go around attacking them then our cover will be blown."

"Yeah, well if he happens to step in the way of a poorly-aimed Reducto curse..."

"Dumbledore also suggested that Frank join," Alice said quickly, interrupting whatever Lily was about to say. "He said it would be good to have as many people inside the Ministry as possible...that's what You-Know-Who's doing..."

Emmeline shivered. "I don't like that...thinking the same way as _him_..."

"We must," Remus said quietly, "if he's ever going to be defeated."

Lily bit her lip and looked at James. He looked just as worried as she felt.

* * *

"Lily Evans!"

Lily stood up, beaming, as she shuffled through the row of chairs situated outside the castle. She strode up to the platform, shook hands with the row of Professors, and finally arrived at Dumbledore. She smiled at him, and with a flick of his wand, her diploma materialized and dropped into her hand. He shook her hand firmly, and she thought she might have seen his blue eye twitch into a quick wink. She turned and waved to her classmates as she stepped off stage. She could see her mother, father, and sister in the crowd; Mr. and Mrs. Evans looked radiant, and Petunia even seemed less horrified and more wondrous than usual. Just before Lily took her seat, she caught James' eye and winked at him. He grinned back.

After what seemed like ages, the graduation ceremony was over. Lily, along with the rest of the Hogwarts graduating class, stuck their wands in the air and released streamers, bubbles, doves, and various other means of celebration.

She found her friends through the chaos and they threw their arms around each other, laughing freely. James spun Lily around and kissed her, and over his shoulder she could see Mary jumping on Sirius. She pointed it out to James, and he laughed at the awed look on Sirius' face.

"Lily!"

She turned around and saw her family making their way through the crowd. She pulled James with her towards them.

"Congratulations, baby!" Mrs. Evans cried, pulling Lily into a tight clasp. Her father wordlessly pulled her to his chest; she could sense that if he spoke, his voice might break from emotion.

"And this must be James!" Mrs. Evans said, turning to Lily's boyfriend.

"I think we've met before," James said, smiling charmingly.

"Oh, of course, of course, on the platform..."

"James," Lily interrupted, eying Petunia warily. "This is my older sister, Petunia."

James looked uncertainly at Lily before he turned to her sister.

"Lovely to meet you," he said kindly, extending his hand.

Petunia nodded shortly and took his hand for a moment, and then quickly withdrew it. Lily breathed a sigh of relief; she was at least civil.

"I'm going to go find my parents," James said, turning to Lily. "I'll meet you guys at the feast."

Lily nodded, and motioned for her parents to follow her. They made their way with the crowd towards the castle, and into the Great Hall where the graduates would enjoy possibly their last feast at Hogwarts.

"Over here, Lily!"

Lily turned and saw Alice and Frank waving her over towards their end of the table. Lily and her family took a seat, and as Lily waved to Mr. Prince, Alice introduced her to Frank's mother.

"Augusta Longbottom," Frank's mother said sharply, extending a bony hand. "Lovely to meet you...Frank tells me that you're quite a witch."

Lily took her hand uncertainly. Mrs. Longbottom was quite intimidating.

"Lovely to meet you, too," Lily said timidly.

"I never pass up an opportunity to pay a visit to Hogwarts," Mrs. Longbottom continued promptly. "Such a wonderful place, with such history—"

Lily shared a look with Alice's father, who had his eyebrows raised in exasperation. He clearly had had his fill of Augusta already. Alice was listening on with a look of mild interest, clearly out of respect for Frank. Lily had a feeling that if Mrs. Longbottom didn't approve of Alice, then she certainly would never be allowed to marry Frank.

Thankfully, after a few moments of listening to Mrs. Longbottom's opinions on Hogwarts, they were interrupted by the Potters.

"Augusta! So good to see you!"

Mrs. Longbottom and Mr. Prince stood up to greet the Potters, and they all seemed to be old friends. Lily reminded herself that they were all from distinguished pure-blood families, and they would probably have old ties to each other.

Lily suppressed a giggle as Mrs. Longbottom pulled James into a tight embrace and planted a kiss on his forehead. He looked as though he were making a great personal sacrifice to endure that.

James then introduced his parents to Mr. and Mrs. Evans, and from there, the families conversed for hours through the feast. Lily's parents were so engrossed in conversation—having very limited interaction with the wizarding world—that they hardly had time to marvel at the way the food appeared on the gold plates, or how the enchanted ceiling changed with the sky. Out of the corner of her eye, Lily observed Petunia looking around the Hall in wonder. She remembered Petunia's letter to Dumbledore, and wondered if she imagined the pained look on her sister's face. Perhaps she was wondering what it would have been like had _she_ gotten into Hogwarts—

"Let's get out of here," James murmured into Lily's ear.

Lily looked at her parents doubtfully. "I really don't think I should leave them—"

James raised his eyebrows and looked at them. "They seem to be enjoying themselves. They haven't said one word to you in over an hour."

Lily sighed. "I suppose, but only for a few minutes—"

James didn't wait for the rest of her sentence. They didn't even have to excuse themselves, for the wizarding families were listening with rapt attention to Lily's parents explain the Muggle system of electricity.

"Where are we going?" Lily asked curiously. James seemed to have some kind of intent in mind.

"I just want one last stroll around the place," he said vaguely.

Lily raised her eyebrows at him, but he pretended not to notice. He lead her purposefully towards the front doors, and out into the twilight of the grounds. Lily saw to their left Filch putting away the chairs and decorations from the ceremony, but James pulled her to the right, towards the Lake.

"What are we doing out here?" Lily tried again, smiling uncertainly.

James sighed and smiled back at her. "Always so inquisitive, aren't you, Evans?"

She took his hand in hers and kissed his shoulder affectionately. "You like it."

He stopped at the edge of the lake and leaned on a tree. Lily took up some rocks and began trying to skip them across the water. They were comfortably silent for a few moments, until James cleared his throat.

"I can't believe it's all over," he said quietly.

Lily flung the rest of her rocks out to the Lake and turned to him. "It's pretty crazy, isn't it?"

"In a few months we're actually going to be _fighting_ him," James continued, looking out across the Lake, as though he could almost see his future.

Lily was silent, waiting for him to go on.

"It's going to be dangerous," he said, turning to her. "I'm going to worry about you all the time."

Lily held her head up playfully. "I can take care of myself, it's _you_ we've got to worry about, Potter."

James, however, did not smile. "What if something happens before we get to do everything we want to do?"

"We have all summer before—"

"Things that don't only take a summer," he said seriously, pulling her closer to him and looking straight into her eyes. "Like getting our first _real _jobs, and not living in secret off of my family's money. Like having neighbors we can trust, and going to the pub down the street with them every Saturday. Like"—he paused, taking a deep, shaky breath—"like getting married, and having a child, and seeing them off to Hogwarts..."

Lily blinked the tears out of her eyes, and said through a tight throat, "Oh James, you'll do all that."

He took both of her hands into his, keeping his eyes on hers. "We don't know that." He paused to slip something onto her finger. "We need to take advantage of the time we have _now_. Lily, will you marry me?"

Lily looked quickly down to her hands, where James had just slipped a delicate, golden ring onto her left ring finger.

"James..." she whispered, looking back up to him. He was gazing down at her with such wild passion that she felt scared. Not of him, but of what he believed; that their time was so limited that they had to rush into a marriage before they were even really adults. She looked back down at the ring and noticed that there were diamonds in the shape of a lily flower on it. She realized that he was right...she couldn't keep living in her fantasy world where they would fight the bad guys and it would all be alright. The good guys—she or James—might not win in this story.

"Of course I will."

He nodded, pulling her into a tight hug. Lily felt the tight knot in her throat fading away. She was _engaged_ to James Potter! She was going to be his _wife_!

She grabbed his face and pulled it towards hers, kissing him wildly. After a few moments, she pulled away, breathing heavily. A million questions were circulating her mind.

"Do your parents know about this?" she asked excitedly, holding her hand out to further admire her ring. It was _perfect_.

"No, I just decided to do it last night," he said sheepishly.

She looked up at him sharply. "_Last night_? You made the decision to get married in _a night_?"

He held up his hands. "It's not like I didn't know I was going to marry you eventually," he explained. "I just thought, 'why not now?'"

"You _knew_ you would marry me eventually? What made you so sure of that, Potter?" she asked archly.

"Come on, Evans, you're _crazy_ about me."

She laughed and playfully punched his arm. "No, James, you just drive me crazy."

"Same thing," he said with a wink. He glanced around, seeming to notice the increasing darkness. "Shall we head back inside?"

Lily nodded and fell into step with him. "What should I do about this?" she asked, holding up her hand with the ring on it.

"Keep it there," James said. "It's not like we've got anything to hide."

"My parents are going to go mad," she warned.

"What are they going to do, send you to your room to think about what you've done?"

Lily giggled. "I suppose not, but my father might take a go at your head."

They made their way back through the front doors and into the Great Hall. Lily resumed her seat next to her parents, who only mildly seemed to notice she'd gone. Petunia, however, was glaring at her disapprovingly for sneaking off with her boyfriend.

After a few moments of listening to Mr. Potter recount a humorous story about his auror days, Mrs. Longbottom turned sharply to Lily.

"Dear, what's that on your finger?"

* * *

"I don't like it," James said stubbornly. "Not at all."

"Well I don't like you running off with werewolves, but that doesn't stop you, does it?"

James stood up quickly. "That's different!"

Lily turned to him and placed a soothing hand on his arm. "I know, James. Going out dancing with my friends to the Leaky Cauldron _is_ different...it's much safer."

"I'd beg to differ," he said stubbornly.

"I'll keep my wand at hand at all times...but really, James, do you think that the most popular pub in Diagon Ally will be attacked, especially with so many witches and wizards there?"

James sighed grudgingly. "Probably not, but there's always a chance—"

"There's always a chance that we'll be attacked when we're shopping for our bloody groceries," Lily interrupted coldly.

"But that's it...you said _we_. I'm with you then—"

"Oh, because I'm so helpless without _you _there, is that right?" Lily spun around and glared at him. She hated when he made it seem as though she were some delicate object that needed constant attention. "Would you rather I sit in the house at all times, then? Disappear from the world because I'm a "_mudblood_"? Becase that's what he wants, James—"

"Alright!" James yelled to interrupt her rant. "Alright," he said, more softly. He pulled her to his chest, although she resisted at first. "I'm just worrying, that's all. Of course I don't doubt you, but I don't doubt the other side as well."

Lily softened. "I know, James. It's just that I don't think it's very fair that you can go run off with Remus while you think I should sit at home. I just want to go out and have some _fun_. We're going to be married soon, and our Order work begins in a few weeks...there isn't much time for that anymore."

James nodded and looked at his watch. "I should be off, the moon's due to come up in a few minutes."

Lily nodded and pulled him close. He kissed her and ran his hands through her hair, which had grown down a few inches past her shoulders.

"Be careful."

"You too."

With a loud "crack," James disappeared from the room. Lily heaved a sigh and turned back to her make-up to distract herself. Of course she was just as worried as he was, but she chose to hide it; it would do no good if they were both constantly questioning each other. No, she just watched him disapparate away every time with a sick feeling in her stomach that it could be the _last_ time. She never stopped him, though.

"Evans! Hey, Evans! I know you're in there!"

Lily jumped at the sudden interruption of silence in her house. She ran out to the source of the voice: her fireplace in the living room.

"Keep your dress robes on, MacDonald," she said playfully to Mary's head, which was floating in the fire.

"Ah, well Sirius isn't coming out tonight, so that might be a possibility," Mary said with a wink. Lily laughed.

"Move your big head, I'm going to Floo over there so we can apparate together," Lily said, taking a pinch of powder from the pot she and James kept beside the fireplace.

"Alright, no more stalling. Emmeline's over here having a fit because she's so hungry."

With that, Mary's head disappeared. Lily threw her powder into the flames and they became a deep green. She stepped in, shouted "MacDonald/Vance residence!" and was suddenly spinning through the flames.

She landed with a small "oof" a moment later in Mary and Emmeline's kitchen. Emmeline offered her hand, and Lily took it, allowing her to pull her from the floor.

"Thanks," Lily coughed. She hated traveling by Floo, but apparation now-a-days was more difficult; many people put charms around their houses that block outside apparation to stop intruders.

"Ready to go?" Mary asked brightly, looking gorgeous in her robes of light pink.

"Sure," Lily said, hooking arms with her two friends. "Where's Alice?"

"It's Frank's first night off in a while," Emmeline said, rolling her eyes. "Something about dinner at Augusta's house..."

Lily wrinkled her nose—she had decided that she didn't really like Augusta, especially after the uproar she'd caused at the Hogwarts graduation feast by pointing out Lily's engagement ring.

"Let's go!" Mary groaned, and before Lily could respond, she felt the familiar squeezing sensation of apparation. After a moment, they'd arrived on a street: Diagon Alley.

"It's so cold!" Emmeline said in surprise. Lily nodded, hunching her shoulders together and watching her breath evaporate around her.

"It's f-f-freaking summer!" Mary complained, leading them towards the Leaky Cauldron. "Why is it so c-c-cold?"

No one answered, and instead they focused on reaching their destination. The sounds of music and chattering grew louder and louder, until they finally reached The Leaky Cauldron. Lily threw opened the door and they entered.

The place was packed. This was one of the few wizarding bars that remained opened in the wake of Voldemort, and was constantly busy. Tom, the owner, was a man with many friends, some of whom were powerful wizards, and had the protection he needed to keep his business running. Indeed, Lily noticed that an auror or two were moving around the outskirts of the crowd, keeping an eye on things. James was foolish to fear for her.

Before she knew it, Mary had left and returned with three glasses of firewhiskey.

"It's a little early for this, isn't it, Mary?" Lily teased, taking her glass.

Mary shrugged. "Never. Bottoms up!"

They all drank deeply, and Lily screwed up her face at the hot, biting sensation in her throat.

"Aw, wittle Evans can't handle her firewhiskey," Emmeline teased, although she had a rather unpleasant look on her face as well.

"Shove off," Lily said playfully. They made their way over to the crowd of dancing witches and wizards, and, for the night, Lily forgot all about Voldemort and his destruction.

* * *

"I can't believe this," Lily moaned. She was slightly intoxicated and just wanted to go to sleep.

"It'll be there in the morning," Emmeline assured, already falling asleep on her couch.

"It was a pretty decent amount of gold though," Lily said, biting her lip. "I'll just be right back."

"You're mental," Mary groaned. "Just wait for James to get back at least before you go wandering the streets of Diagon Alley at 2 a.m."

"It's like 20 Galleons!" Lily protested, trying to clear her mind so she could think straight. "I'll be back in 15 minutes."

Before her friends could protest, Lily disapparated from Emmeline and Mary's flat.

Suddenly, Lily found herself on a dark, empty street. She squinted and looked around her, and couldn't recognize her surroundings. She grasped her wand, sobering up a little, and cursing herself for being so stupid to apparate drunk. She could practically hear James' voice: "_You did _**what**_for 20 galleons? Lily Evans..._"

Incensed at the thought of James' self-righteous tone, Lily continued on, determined to find her purse and get back to bed. As she wandered, wondering where she could be, a light breeze blew, causing goosebumps to emerge under her blue satin dress robes. Finally, she spotted a sign—Knockturn Alley.

Lily shivered again. She'd only heard of it before, as a dark, sketchy place. She knew that it eventually intersected with Diagon Alley, and she didn't want to try apparating again in her state, so she continued on by foot, shivering more violently as the minutes passed.

"Lily Evans?"

Lily jumped and pulled out her wand at the sound of the voice. It sounded so familiar though—

"Severus?"

Lily's voice was filled with shock.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, blatantly just as surprised as she felt.

"I—I'm lost," she admitted. "I'd left my purse at The Leaky Cauldron..."

She trailed off under Severus' gaze. All her misgivings about him mitigated; the sight of a familiar face was such a relief.

"You look cold," he observed. There was an iciness in his voice that Lily had never noticed while they were still friends, but she shrugged it off.

"A little."

"Perhaps you'd like to come in and warm up," he said, motioning to a door behind him.

"Oh..." Lily was apprehensive. The memory of him by the Lake came back into her mind: "_Filthy mudblood._"

"Just for a moment," he pressed, his tone softening. "I'll walk you to the Leaky Cauldron myself after."

Lily felt defeated. She couldn't deny that she needed his help. And, despite their later years at Hogwarts, she still had known the side of him as a brilliant, sweet boy. He would never allow her to be harmed.

"Just for a moment," she repeated, following him, but keeping her wand firmly in her hand.

He opened the door and she entered a dark pub. As she stepped in, the low chatter around her died out. Severus stepped in behind her after a moment, which caused a wave of murmurs.

"Who's Sev go there?"

"Is that—?"

"No, but she's muggleborn—"

"_Lily Evans_—?"

Lily immediately regretted her decision to follow Severus. However, she could see no way out now, and followed him to a table of men clad in black robes.

"Rosier, Mulciber, Crabbe, Goyle, Avery; I trust you remember Lily Evans from Hogwarts?"

Lily tried to smile, tried to act as though she wasn't staring death eaters right in the face, but her facial muscles seemed to have stopped working. Some nodded curtly, others gave Lily an appraising look. She wanted nothing more than to disapparate on the spot, but Severus had his hand on her upper arm, guiding her, and would be taken with her.

"I thought, perhaps, she would like to join us for a drink," Severus continued. He glanced over at the large, sinister bartender, who immediately had two firewhiskeys ready on the bar. With a wave of his wand, Severus summoned them. Lily grasped hers, but did not drink.

"Have a seat, _Miss Evans_," Rosier said, pulling a chair out for her. His tone was sarcastically sweet; he seemed to be mocking her, but she wasn't sure how.

"Y-you know, I really should be going," Lily said quickly, turning to Severus. "My friends are waiting—"

"Is that how you treat old friends from school?" Rosier pushed, a small smile playing on his face. "Come now, sit!"

Lily did so, although reluctantly. She kept her eyes on Severus, silently pleading for him to keep things under control. He watched her carefully, keeping his eyes on hers.

"So, _Lily_, how is post-Hogwarts life?" Rosier continued.

"Fine," she said tersely.

"Any _career_ prospects?"

Lily shrugged.

"Well, if you ever looking for a job, we know someone who's always hiring."

Lily's heart seemed to have stopped beating in her chest. Were they _really_ speaking so openly of Voldemort to her?

"Eternal glory," Avery continued, a wild glint in his eye. "Riches, power beyond your wildest belief..."

"You would be one of his greatest additions," Severus continued, watching Lily. "Top of your class, brilliant, sharp—he values intelligence, above all."

Lily was breathless. _They were trying to recruit her as a death eater_. She looked around the table at the eager faces looking from her to Severus. She caught Severus' eye, and heard his voice in her head: "_We would be unstoppable, you and I_."

She wasn't sure if she'd imagined it, or if she had some kind of connection with his mind. Images, unbidden, flashed before her eyes: Lily clad in green emeralds, Lily surrounded by people looking up adoringly at her, Lily smiling next to Severus, holding a black-haired baby in her arms...not constantly hiding in fear, or surrounded by protective spells...out in the open, ruling...

A sudden, inexplicable feeling of happiness overcame Lily. The images re-played themselves in her mind, and she could feel all the joy and satisfaction they would bring. Of course, she would join, and be rewarded beyond belief...

Lily tore her gaze away from Severus, and reality came crashing down upon her. She was in a room of death eaters, and hundreds of people had probably died at the hands of this table of people. Nothing was worth that.

Lily smiled wryly and stood up. "I have a feeling your _boss_ wouldn't take to me. After all, I'm just a filthy little mudblood, aren't I?"

She turned to Severus, aware of the five sets of eyes and five wands that were aimed at her back.

"Albus Dumbledore is the greatest wizard who ever lived, and you'd do well to keep that in mind."

And, just as shouts began to fill the air, Lily disappeared from the dark bar on Knockturn Alley with a loud "crack."


	26. Holy Matrimony

**Well, the title should explain a lot :) Enjoy & review (because they seriously make my day)!**

Lily landed hard outside her house in Godric's Hollow. She had tried to apparate straight to her living room, but she'd forgotten about James' anti-apparation charm, which chucked her to the outside of their front gate.

"Damn," she muttered to herself, rubbing her rear as she pulled herself up off the ground. She opened the gate and made her way to the front door, vaguely wondering what time it was. It had to be around 3 a.m. James wouldn't be back for another few hours, so he would never have to know—

"Lily!"

Lily cried out and stumbled on one of the loose cobblestones in their yard. James came rushing out of the house and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I just got back from Mary and Emmeline's," he said into her hair. She could feel him shaking.

"I'm fine," she said quickly. She was terrified to admit where she'd really been.

"Come inside, you're freezing," he said, rubbing her arms. She hardly noticed; she was too busy going over the story in her mind, trying to find a way to tell it without angering him.

"Where _were_ you?" he asked frantically, leading her to their overstuffed couch in the living room. "They said you'd gone back to the Leaky Cauldron..."

"Lily!"

Lily jumped again. A group of people emerged from her kitchen: Emmeline, Alice, Frank, and Mary.

She looked towards James and noticed that his hair was even more wild than usual, and he had bits of twig and dirt all over.

"What's all this?" Lily asked weakly.

"Well when you didn't come back, we called Alice and Frank," Emmeline explained shakily. "Frank went to search for you at the Leaky Cauldron, and Tom said you hadn't been by—"

"Why are _you_ back?" Lily asked suddenly, turning to James and realizing that Remus was still transformed.

"I was planning on coming back early to begin with," he said, looking a bit sheepish. "I wanted to make sure you got in alright."

Lily immediately suppressed the anger that had begun to bubble up in her chest. As much as she didn't want to admit it, he'd been right for once.

"That was very thick of you," Mary said crossly. She had bags under her eyes from crying. "Why were you gone for so long?"

Lily blushed. "It's quite stupid, really..."

"You owe us an explanation, Evans," Emmeline said stubbornly.

Lily sighed, and with a wary glance towards James, began her story. She kept her eyes off James and her friends the whole time, choosing instead to direct her story towards the floor. When she was done she looked up, and was met with horrified looks.

"I'm going to murder him," James said angrily, shooting up and pacing the room in agitation. "I'm going to _kill_ Snivellus!"

"James—" Lily tried weakly.

"No, Lily," he spat. "I don't care. He's _mine_!"

Lily grabbed his forearm for fear that he would disapparate on the spot to Knockturn Alley to try to find Severus at that moment.

"Sleep on it, mate," Frank said wisely, patting James' shoulder soothingly. He yawned widely and glanced towards Alice. "Well, now that we know Lily's alright, I think we're going to go. I'll do some investigating on the names of potential death eaters you listed, Lily."

Lily nodded, feeling guilty. She hadn't meant to alarm anyone.

"I think we'll be off as well," Mary said, looking uncertainly at James. His expression was stoic and illegible.

"G'night," Lily mumbled, her heart rate increasing. She didn't want to be alone with James at the moment; he was sure to be _furious_ with her. Lily watched her friends disappear into the fire place, and finally turned to James. She gasped when she saw his face.

"You're _crying_," she said in awe.

"I almost lost you tonight," he said, grasping her close to him. She felt his body shake and her shoulder became wet with tears. She was too stunned to react.

"But—but I was being stupid!" she protested, unnerved at his reaction.

"I don't care," he said thickly, stroking her hair. "I have you back. You're safe."

"But..."

Lily now wished he _would_ yell at her; this reaction was increasing her guilt tenfold.

"James, tell me how irresponsible and stupid I was!" she burst out, tears now forming in her eyes. "Yell at me and tell me I'm horrible!"

James looked at her, shocked.

"You _were_, but I don't care. Just come lay in bed with me..."

Lily felt her heart breaking as she looked at James' blurred image through her watery eyes. He looked so helpless.

As Lily entangled herself with James in their bed, she felt a small fire building inside her. She couldn't wait to begin their assignments with the Order, so that she would never see that look of fear on James' face again.

* * *

"Evans, where did you run off to?"

Lily held her breath and listened as Emmeline's footsteps drew nearer to the door Lily was hiding behind. Perhaps if she stayed absolutely still, Emmeline wouldn't hear the rustle of her dress—

"Gotcha!"

Lily cried out as Emmeline threw Lily and James' bedroom door closed, revealing Lily's hiding spot.

"I still have to curl your eyelashes—"

"But—"

"Oh, and I could add another foot to your train—"

"Em—"

"And—"

"That's quite enough!"

Lily was relieved to hear her mother's voice, to her rescue.

"She's going to be _late_ to the wedding if you keep hassling her like that, Miss Vance!"

Emmeline looked down, embarrassed.

"Sorry Mrs. Evans," she mumbled. She shot Lily a glare as they made their way to the fireplace.

"I thought you said she'd already gone down to the church," Emmeline hissed, fussing with Lily's hair behind her mother's back.

"Is there something wrong with the way _I_ styled it?" Lily's mother snapped as she stopped at the fire place.

"There was just a strand—"

"Lily, come here, dear, and do your Foo thing..."

"It's 'Floo,' Mum," Lily giggled. She grabbed a pinch of powder, tossed it into the fire, and gathered her dress around her to keep it out of the soot.

"Godric's Hollow church!"

With a quick whirling sensation, Lily was spit out in the Bride's waiting room. She coughed, as a little soot had caught in her throat, and was startled at the sound of a man's voice.

"Lily?"

She spun around and saw James standing there, looking dumbfounded.

"James! You're not supposed to see me in my dress!" Lily exclaimed, looking around for places to hide herself. She caught sight of a screen and made to move towards it, but James grabbed her wrist.

"No...you look _beautiful_."

Lily blushed under the intensity of his gaze.

"Oh, well, Emmeline's been fooling with my makeup for hours now—"

"No, not that," he insisted, pushing a curled strand of hair behind her ear. "Your dress, your skin..."

He trailed off and pulled her into a kiss. She thought for a moment of resisting—they shouldn't be doing this _before_ they were married—but forgot about it when he deepened the kiss.

She pulled away and grinned at him.

"You look pretty dashing yourself in your dress robes."

He smiled devilishly and pulled her close to him.

"Can we just skip to the honeymoon _now_?" he said in her ear. A small shiver went up her back as he said it. She was tempted to say yes, and just apparate away—

"Ahem."

Lily jumped.

"Black, _what are you doing here_?" she growled, mad that they had been interrupted.

"Sorry Lily," Mary said quickly, stepping from behind him. "We were just—er—"

"Looking for _you_," Sirius cut in smoothly. "Mary wanted to do her maid of honor duties and make sure you didn't need anything."

"How thoughtful of you," Lily said sarcastically. "I'm sure you were looking for _me_ and not an empty room..."

"C'mon, mate," Sirius said loudly, taking James by the shoulders. "I think it's about time we get out there."

As he steered James out the door, he looked back and winked at Mary. Lily rolled her eyes in disgust and slammed the door in his face.

"Erm—so where's your mother?" Mary said awkwardly, clearly hoping to divert Lily's attentions.

"She should have been along a few moments ago..." Lily said slowly, suddenly getting worried. What if something had happened? What if their house had been attacked—?

Just as Lily's panic began to set in, the fireplace burned bright green, and Mrs. Evans stumbled out.

"Mum! What happened—?"

"That GIRL!"

Lily had never seen her mum this angry.

"That _obstinate, horrid_ GIRL!"

"Oh, you're no peach yourself, Mrs. Evans."

Lily spun around to see Emmeline emerge from the fireplace. Her hair, which had moments ago been in an elegant up-do, now hung limply around her face. She strode to the mirror, unconcerned, glanced at herself, and with a flick of her wand, it was back to normal.

"What _happened_?" Lily insisted, looking at Mary uneasily.

"Apparently my _muggle_ ways aren't good enough for _her_," Mrs. Evans seethed. "She just brandished her wand and with a flick, my whole hair style was _ruined_."

"Oh, stop being so overdramatic," Emmeline huffed. "It _does_ look better."

Despite herself, Mrs. Evans glanced in the mirror. Her expression softened when she saw that, indeed, her hair was neater and more even than it had been before, but her pride wouldn't allow her to admit it. Lily had tried to warn her friends that the one skill her mother was most proud of was her cosmetic knowledge. However, Emmeline was headstrong and wouldn't allow any imperfections that could be easily fixed with magic.

"I'm going to take my seat," Mrs. Evans huffed, and with that, she was out the door.

Lily rounded on her friend. "Emmeline, you _know_ my mother's self-conscious around other witches and wizards..."

"But Lily, I want your wedding to be _perfect_!" Emmeline whined, putting her arms around her friend.

Lily sighed and shook her head. They really were being ridiculous. She had a feeling that they would be laughing about this over elfish wine later.

"Shall we go? I think I hear the music starting," Mary interrupted, taking Lily's arm. Lily listened, and she heard the unmistakable sounds of "The Wedding March." They were not a moment too late, for Mr. Evans was standing outside, ready to knock, when they opened the door. He, Remus, Lupin, Pettigrew, and Alice were waiting outside.

"Sorry, I've just arrived," Alice whispered to Lily as they began to partner up to walk down the aisle. "Frank got held up at work—"

"It's fine," Lily smiled. She took her father's arm and stood behind the other pairs: Peter and Alice, Remus and Emmeline, and Sirius and Mary. In front of them stood a small girl, the daughter of friends of the Order, named Nymphadora, who was to be the flower girl. Lily watched as she nervously fingered the basket of lilly petals. Just before she was to go out, she glanced up to Lily nervously, and Lily gave her an encouraging wink. The girl smiled vibrantly, and her dull brown hair changed to a vibrant pink. Someone in the crowd hissed "Dora!" and the girl's hair faded back to brown as she took her first steps out.

"Ready?" Mr. Evans whispered.

Lily smiled and squeezed his arm affectionately.

"Of course. Are _you_ ready?"

Her father frowned slightly.

"I don't think I'll ever be. First Petunia, and now you..."

"Nothing's going to change, daddy," she said as they stood at the edge of the doorway.

"You're so young," he said softly. "If things were different in your world—"

"Let's not talk about that right now," she said quickly. That was the _last_ thing she wanted to consider on her wedding day. She would have plenty of time to contemplate Voldemort when their Order work began...

Finally, the music changed, signaling that it was time for Lily to step out. The doors flew opened, as if by magic, and she was met with a collective gasp. She turned around, worried that something horrible was behind her, but after a moment realized that they were reacting to _her_.

"Beautiful—"

"So stunning, as always—"

"James is one lucky—"

Lily bit her lip and blushed, instead focusing her attention on what was ahead of her. Sirius was making faces at her, trying to get her to laugh, Peter was smiling nervously, his eyes flickering over the crowd occasionally, and Remus was watching with interest the little flower girl sitting in the front row, who was changing her hair from one color to the next in quick succession and giggling quietly. James, however, had his hazel eyes focused intensely on Lily, as though he would never see her again. He looked nervous, as though she would change her mind at the last minute and run out. Lily beamed at him and his expression relaxed into a smile; of course she would never leave him.

After what seemed like hours, Lily and Mr. Evans reached the front. He gave his daughter a watery smile and kissed her on the cheek. Lily hugged him tightly, before James took her hand and lead her into position in front of the priest.

"We gather today to join these two in holy matrimony..."

Lily drowned out the rest. She was too busy smiling at James.

* * *

"Mate, mind if I cut in?"

"What's mine is yours, Padfoot," James said with a wink.

"I don't know if I agree with that," Lily said warily, taking Sirius by the shoulders.

"I'll get you back in one piece," Sirius promised as James walked off to talk to some of their guests.

"I'm skeptical of that," Lily teased. As punishment for her cheekiness, Sirius spun her quickly around, so that her dress flew around her knees, and Lily fell onto him heavily as her world continued to spin after she stopped.

"Thanks," she said sarcastically.

"Anytime," he replied, continuing their slower dance.

"So, you managed to tear yourself away from my maid of honor?" Lily asked, looking around for Mary. Sirius' brows knitted together.

"More like _she_ tore herself away from _me_," he said dully.

"Where is she?"

Sirius nodded his head towards a spot behind Lily. She turned and saw Mary in deep conversation with Peter.

"That's odd," Lily said, mostly to herself.

"Well, that's not what I came here to discuss with you," Sirius said, drawing Lily's eyes back to him. All joking was gone from his face.

"Am I about to be lectured by _Sirius Black_?" Lily teased, trying to lighten the mood. She hated when Sirius was stern; that meant there was something _actually_ serious on his mind.

"Yes," he said shortly. "I want to discuss my best mate."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Sirius, if you're going to lecture me about running off, you're wasting your breath. When have you ever known me to—?"

Sirius shook his head; before, his black hair would have swayed along with it, but Lily had made him cut it for the wedding. "No, not that. It's about—er—any plans for a _mini Prongs_."

Lily stopped dancing and glared at Sirius sharply.

"Excuse me?"

Sirius pulled her and forced her to continue stepping along to the music.

"Well, of course the next natural step after marriage is—"

"Has _Prongs_ expressed any interest in this?" Lily interrupted, looking around to see where James got off to.

"Erm—well—he might have mentioned—"

"So, Sirius, what about this _mini Prongs_ do you want to discuss with me?"

"I think you should wait," he said flatly. Lily looked up at him, surprised. "Prongs can't wait to have a little bugger running around, so I'm hoping that _you_ can talk some sense into him."

Lily was shocked. Since when was Sirius responsible? She'd never known him to disagree with James ever.

"Well of course I agree with you," she said. "I don't want to be running off fighting"—she lowered her voice—"Voldemort and leave my baby at home. But why don't you just say something to him?"

Sirius' face darkened. "I have. He didn't take it too well."

Again, Lily was surprised. She raised her eyebrows, eager for him to elaborate.

Sirius sighed. "I told him that it wouldn't be very responsible of him...he told me to sod off and that I didn't know what I was talking about, since it doesn't look like I'm getting a child any time soon."

Lily gasped. "Sirius, I'm sorry! He's being thick—"

He shook his head and cut her off. "Don't worry about it, Lily. After so many years of friendship, we were bound to get into a skirmish. He apologized, but I don't think that means that he's changed his mind."

Lily nodded, and pulled Sirius closer into a hug.

"Thank you," she whispered, clutching to his neck.

He looked startled. "For what?"

"For looking out for us."

"Oy, Padfoot, I was only _joking_ about the whole 'what's mine is yours' thing," James interrupted, looking from Lily to Sirius uncertainly.

"Oh, calm down, James," Lily chided. "Don't pick _now_ to start getting all insecure..."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said lightly as he took Sirius' spot.

"Picture?"

Lily and James turned and saw Bozo, the short, pudgy man that they had hired to take wedding photos.

"Sure," Lily said enthusiastically. James began to pose, but Lily turned.

"Black, get back over here!"

Sirius turned around, and Lily grabbed his wrist.

"I need photographic evidence of your respectful haircut," she explained with a cheeky grin. Sirius and James rolled their eyes, and the three turned towards the camera and smiled for the flash.


	27. Elvendork

**So I have 96 reviews...as a thank you to me for posting another chapter sooo quickly, you guys should up that number to 100 reviews :)**

**Kudos to Duskfire1954 for noticing that the picture at the end of last chapter was the one that Hagrid eventually gives Harry. Another Kudos to Sweet Lovely Lily for noticing that Chapter 25 was the 1st of 3 ways that Lily&James defy Voldy. This chapter is way #2.**

**Finally, this chapter is based off of the 800 word prequel that Jo herself wrote in 2008, so I do not take full credit. **

**ENJOY!  
**

Lily hovered in the cold fall air, terrified. No, not because of her uncertainty on a broomstick. That was laughable compared to the terror that faced her now: James riding along on Sirius' motorbike through London, with the intention of attracting as many death eaters as possible.

She gulped, trying to keep her breakfast from a few hours ago in her stomach, and adjusted James' invisibility cloak. It was large, but not large enough to fully cover the broomstick James had contributed as well; Mad-Eye had placed a disillusionment charm on it instead, so that it blended in with the black sky.

A loud roar caught her attention. Directly fifty feet below her, James and Sirius zoomed along the empty London street, and were distantly followed by a flash of red and blue lights. The two Marauders were unconcerned by this; Sirius' motorbike had an engine that was magically tampered with, and moved much faster than even the most expensive Muggle vehicle.

James' voice, amplified by a sonorus spell, rung through the streets: "VOLDEMORT IS A THICK, COWARDLY LOAD OF DRAGON DUNG! VOLDY-MOULDY! ARROGANT TOE RAG!"

At the last phrase, Lily noticed James look up towards the sky, where he knew she would be, and wink. He had admitted that in retrospect, the phrase that she had thrown at him fifth year insultingly was hilarious, and would use it every chance he got.

Her heart beating wildly in her chest, Lily swooped down silently as Sirius took a sharp turn into an alleyway. Under normal circumstances, Lily would have been horrified at the way the motorbike tilted and nearly threw James under the wheels of the darkened police car waiting around the corner.

Lily did a double take. Darkened police car?

Sure enough, the car burst to life with a mixture of bright lights and sirens. It speedily followed the two boys down the alleyway down which they had just turned, and, in the police's eagerness to catch the boys, the driver scraped up the entire side of the car on the narrow alley walls. James and Sirius were trapped between a towering brick wall and the police car, which was now crawling towards them like some growling luminous-eyes predator.

Lily fingered her wand, desperate to do _something_. How could those two be smirking like that when they were cornered?

There was so little space between the car doors and the walls of the alley that the two officers had difficulty extracting themselves from the vehicle. They looked quite undignified inching crab-like towards the miscreants. One dragged his generous belly along the wall, tearing buttons off his shirt as he went, and finally snapping off the wing mirror with his backside.

Lily recognized that the scene would have been hilarious in other situations, but she observed it instead with a terrified suspense. It was only a matter of time before someone else—someone much worse than muggle police—took advantage of James and Sirius' cornered situation.

"Get off the bike!" the fat officer bellowed at the smirking youths, who, Lily noticed, sat basking in the flashing blue light as though enjoying it. Why were those morons so unconcerned? Was this a _game_ to them?

Lily knew the answer. It was indeed a game for them. When Dumbledore suggested the idea of luring out death eaters so the Order had names and faces to follow up on, it seemed as though he had created the plan specifically with James and Sirius in mind. Of course they would find no greater pleasure than to rampage through the streets of London, shouting about how terrible Voldemort is, mocking his cowardly followers.

James and Sirius did as they were told, dismounting the bike. The fat officer examined them with distaste, and Sirius looked back with his insolent good looks, clearly amused by them. James wore a broad, mocking grin; one that would have made Lily's blood boil had it been directed at her. She could fully understand the delicate shade of angry purple the officer turned.

"No helmet!" the obese officer yelled, pointing from one uncovered head to the other. "Exceeding the speed limit by—by a considerable amount!" (In fact, Lily knew that the speed the officers had registered had more than likely been greater than they were prepared to accept that any motorcycle could travel). "Failure to stop for the police!"

"We'd have loved to stop for a chat," said James, "only we were trying—"

Lily knew James had been about to say something cheeky, like "only we were trying to save your wide arse from dark magical forces." She was relieved that the skinnier officer cut him off.

"Don't get smart—you two are in a heap of trouble!" he snarled. "Names!"

"Names?" repeated Sirius, his voice dripping with delight. "Er—Well, let's see. There's Wilberforce...Bathsheba...Elvendork..."

Despite herself, Lily rolled her eyes. Elvendork? Honestly, where he came up with that load of dung...

"And what's nice about that one is, you can use it for a boy OR a girl," James chimed in. Again, Lily rolled her eyes. She made a mental note to cite James' taste in names as one of her many reasons for not reproducing with him at the moment.

"Oh, our names, did you mean?" ask Sirius as the thin officer sputtered with rage. "You should've said! This here is James Potter, and I'm Sirius Black!"

Lily cringed as Sirius announced their names for all to hear. She didn't like the idea of Voldemort having names to match the faces...names with which to track them down...

"Things'll be seriously black for you in a minute, you cheeky little—"

Lily spun around at the distinct whooshing sound of brooms coming up from behind her. She swerved to the side, careful to keep the alley well in sight.

She caught sight of James and Sirius again, and saw that they were no longer paying attention to the officers either. They were suddenly alert as gundogs, staring past the two officers, over the roof of the police car, at the dark mouth of the alley. Then, with identical, fluid movements, they reached into their back pockets.

"Drumsticks?" jeered the thin officer. "Right pair of jokers, aren't you? Right, we're arresting you on a charge of—"

It took all of Lily's self control not to cry out. Three men dressed in black were flying up the alley on broomsticks. James and Sirius shouted in unison "Wingardium Leviosa!" and the police car rose into the air, rearing on its back wheels. With loud, crunching thuds, the three figures smacked into the raised vehicle.

Lily had no time to pay attention to the stumbling, bumbling police officers. She swooped down close to the three men who were sprawled in the alleyway and got a good look at their faces. Two were thick blokes—Crabbe and, to Lily's disgust, Mulciber. They weren't surprises. The other, slighter figure had white-blonde hair. She peered closely at the unconscious face that looked so familiar. The memory came flooding back to her: Severus, after being sorted, getting patted on the back by a prefect with white-blonde hair: Lucius Malfoy.

The motorbike roared into life again, drawing Lily's attention back to the rest of the action in the alleyway. She had enough to provide Dumbledore with a detailed memory, but Lily had a feeling her work wasn't over for the night. She, James, and Sirius still had to make it back to the safety of the Order.

"Thanks very much!" called Sirius over the throb of the engine to the officers. "We owe you one!"

"Yeah, nice meeting you!" said James. "And don't forget: Elvendork! It's unisex!"

There was an earth-shaking crash, and the officers threw their arms around each other in fright; their car had just fallen backto the ground. Now it was the motorbike's turn to rear. Before the muggle's disbelieving eyes, it took off into thin air: James and Sirius zoomed away into the night sky, and Lily followed their tail light twinkling behind them like a vanishing ruby. Lily didn't worry about the muggle police men who had just witnessed magic: Frank and Sturgis were probably clearing their memories at that moment, keeping the incident away from any Ministry involvement.

"Wooh!" Sirius called out into the night sky, clearly exhilarated. "It's been too long since a night like this, Jamesie!"

"Too long!" James yelled out in agreement.

Lily trailed them closely, remaining silent. Dumbledore had said it was imperative that James and Sirius do not acknowledge Lily's presence, and that she does not reveal herself. It would become apparent that James and Sirius were on a mission, rather than having a boisterous night out, as Dumbledore wanted it to seem. Secrecy, as always with the Order, was key.

"_Cruccio_!"

This time, Lily couldn't help from crying out. A flash of red streaked past her, barely missing James' head. Fortunately, her voice was lost in the shouts. Unfortunately, the shouts were coming from death eaters, appearing all around them, emerging from the clouds on brooms. After a moment, James and Sirius (and Lily, invisible to all) hovered in the middle of a circle of death eaters.

Despite the danger at hand, Lily made a quick round, making sure to catch every face in the circle of ten or so.

"Potter, what a _surprise_. I see your arrogance and stupidity was not left behind at Hogwarts."

Lily whirled around. Severus had just joined the group, flying closer to the motorbike than the rest. He seemed to be the designated leader.

"Snivellus," James spat, his voice dripping with disgust. "I see your bathing habits haven't changed much, you greasy git."

Lily held her breath. She was ashamed that she had ever trusted Severus; his face shone with a look of pure loathing Lily had never thought possible. It frightened her.

"Sectumsemptra!"

"Protego!"

James' defensive spell wasn't strong enough for Severus' dark spell. Lily bit her lip so hard that it bled to keep from screaming. James cried out and clutched his chest as the surrounding death eaters laughed maliciously.

"Oy!" Sirius cried out, brandishing his wand and releasing the controls of the motorbike. Lily couldn't believe it; he was going to try to take on eleven death eaters rather than get to safety. Lily had to act.

"Let me get him, let me get him!"

A tiny witch with mad, black hair flew over and shoved Severus out of the way as Lily silently flew around side the motorbike.

"Hullo, dear cousin," Sirius said, his voice oozing with contempt.

Bellatrix cackled madly.

"See you've chosen to side with your_ boyfriend_, Potter," she mocked, her voice high and cruel.

"FILTH!" Sirius cried, making to lunge towards her. Lily took this opportunity to jump on the bike in front of Sirius and take the controls. She pulled the handle and urged the bike forward, causing the circle of death eaters to break and scatter in surprise.

"Apparate, NOW!" Lily shouted, still hidden beneath the cloak.

"Lily?" Sirius asked weakly, grasping at the invisible lump in front of him.

"I SAID, APPARATE!"

The death eaters seemed to have come to their senses, and Lily could hear their shouts trailing them. Suddenly, all was silent.

* * *

Lily stared up at two red, blurred objects floating above her. She squinted, unable to see in the darkness, trying to distinguish the vaguely familiar hue.

"Fabian, signal Dumbledore immediately. Potter's bleeding."

"I thought one of the girls was supposed to be with them—"

"Just GO!"

Lily tried to sit up, and found that her head throbbed nastily when she did. She lay back down in a daze.

"Mate? Prongs? TALK TO ME!"

Lily felt movement beside her and more moans.

"Where's Lily?" she heard James ask weakly.

Sirius, however, was being assaulted with questions by another.

"Gideon Prewett," the orange blur said quickly. "What happened? Where's the girl?"

"Lily?" James said, again ignored.

Lily was still too shocked to bother with something so trivial like vocal chords.

"Ten of them..." Sirius said shakily. "We were surrounded..."

"LILY!"

Everyone, visible and invisible, jumped. Lily forced herself up at James' desperation.

"I'm right here," she said through a tight throat, crawling towards him. A hand suddenly came down on her back and lifted the cloak off of her. James looked at her softly, clutching his chest. "Oh, James..."

Lily resisted the urge to dissolve into tears onto James' shoulder. He needed her to be strong.

"I'm okay," he said with a pained smile. "Just a small scratch..."

"That's the spirit, mate," Sirius said in a painfully false cheery voice, kneeling down to James' other side.

Two loud cracks made Lily jump, jostling James' resting position. He gasped in pain, and Lily stroked his head.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry!"

"Gideon, may I suggest you prepare some tea for Mrs. Potter and Mr. Black in the other room?" Dumbledore said calmly. Lily glared at him. How could anyone think of tea at a time like this?"

"C'mon, kids," Gideon mumbled, taking Lily by the shoulders and steering her into a cozy sitting room. Lily sank to the couch, unable to support herself any longer, and fell sobbing onto Sirius' shoulder as he took a seat next to her. Sirius clutched her tightly to his side, clearly just as worried about James Potter as she was.

"He'll be alright," Gideon assured. "Dumbledore's in there right now...nothing he can't fix..."

Lily kept her face buried in Sirius' robes, fearful of what she would see if she looked around the room. The bloodied image of the golden phoenix on James' shirt appeared in her mind's eye over and over again; she couldn't handle any more horrible images.

Lily wasn't sure how much time had passed, but finally Dumbledore's soothing voice brought good news: James' wound was healed, with no real lasting damage. She sighed audibly in relief, and Sirius patted her head. She got up and shakily entered the other room, where James was laying flat on the floor with a pillow under his head. His glasses were to the right of him and his eyes were closed peacefully.

"James?" Lily whispered. She saw the corners of his mouth turn up.

"Alright, Evans?" he mumbled, keeping his eyes closed.

Lily choked out a laugh. "You know I can handle myself, Potter. Look what you've gone and done to _your_self."

He squeezed her hand affectionately, and she was glad that his eyes remained closed; tears were overflowing her eyes.

"That was a close one," he said, squinting up at her. "You were brilliant."

"You lot would be dead if Black had stayed there and tried to fight," Lily said crossly, shooting a glare towards Sirius, who was in the corner looking guilty.

"You know Bellatrix...she has a way of making you so _insensibly_ angry," Sirius muttered, clenching his fists.

"Miss Evans, may I ask you to accompany me?"

She turned pleading eyes up to Dumbledore. "Shouldn't I get James home?"

"I'm sure Sirius is capable of that. We need to make sure we get your memories, so that this was not all in vain."

Lily nodded, and with one last squeeze of James' hand, got up and followed Dumbledore. She paused and turned to the pair of red-headed twins standing in the living room.

"Thank you," she said, taking each's hand warmly.

"Anything for a fellow Order member," one—perhaps Fabian—said with a charming smile.

"Shall we?" Dumbledore asked, extending his elbow to Lily. As soon as she touched it, the familiar squeezing sensation of apparation came over her, and she was standing in the Headmaster's office at Hogwarts.

"Have you ever extracted a memory, Miss Evans?" Dumbledore asked, walking around to a cabinet behind his desk.

"No, sir," Lily said uneasily. Dumbledore returned to his desk with a stone basin, swirling with a liquid-gas substance that Lily had never seen before.

"I am no longer 'sir' to you, as you are no longer my student," Dumbledore said with a twinkle in his eye. "Albus is fine."

Lily gave him a small smile. "Albus" would take some getting used to.

"Extracting a memory is extraordinarily simple," Dumbledore continued, swirling the basin with his wand slowly. "Simply think of the memory"—Dumbledore closed his eyes—"point your wand"—he brought his wand to his temple—"and _extract_." He pulled his wand away, and a silver strand hung from it. Lily watched through her drying eyes as he placed the strand into the basin. She saw her tear-streaked face swirl around and eventually disappear.

"This is called a Pensive. I like to use it to organize my thoughts when my head becomes too muddled and overfilled with thoughts."

Lily nodded, unsure if he was making a joke or not.

"Alright," she said uneasily, closing her eyes. She forced the memory of the alley to the forefront of her mind, stuck the tip of her wand to her temple, and felt a slightly lightheaded sensation. She opened her eyes, and was delighted to see a silver strand hanging from her wand. She tipped it into the basin, and watched Sirius' motorbike disappear into the liquid mist. Dumbledore nodded approvingly, and she repeated the process for the memory of their encounter with the circle of death eaters.

"Thank you, Lily," Dumbledore said, his blue eyes fixed on her face. "You have made a very important and valuable contribution to the Order."

Lily nodded. "I'm glad to help," she said honestly. Now that she knew James would be alright, she felt an increasing sense of satisfaction. She had completed her first Order mission successfully.

"You will have to Floo back to your husband, I'm afraid," Dumbledore said, motioning to his fireplace. "The anti-apparation charms at Hogwarts..."

Lily nodded and stood up to go to the fireplace. As she took a pinch of Floo powder from the mantle, Dumbledore interrupted her.

"Lily, I must ask before you go...Have you heard anything from Miss Macdonald yet?"

The small bubble of happiness that had been forming in Lily's chest now burst at Dumbledore's reminder.

"No," she said softly, before disappearing into the green flames.


	28. Violated

**Aww, thank you guys for all the wonderful reviews for my last chapter! I'm glad you enjoyed it, because I don't think anyone's going to enjoy this one that much :/ I didn't like writing it, but it's necessary for my plot line. The next chapter will be better...hopefully soon I'll get to the chapters with little Harry, because I'm excited to write those! In the meantime, James, Lily, and the Marauders have some work to do for the Order...**

Lily paced back and forth in agitation.

"One more time, Sirius," she said, turning to the defeated figure on the couch, "what happened the last time you saw her?"

Sirius sighed and shared a look with James, who was off to the side and leaning against the wall with his arms folded. Sirius looked guilty, which was probably the only reason he consented to retelling his story for the hundredth time that week.

"Alright," he began, looking up at Lily, who had stopped pacing and was leaning against her bookshelf.

"It was a few weeks ago—just at the beginning of September—the day before we all were to be inducted into the Order. I'd just finished moving into my new place—Moony was tired of getting kicked out for Mary all the time—so I'd invited Mary over to celebrate." He paused his story here, burying his face in his hands, pressing into his eye sockets with his palms. Lily reached foreword and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. She wanted him to know that she—nor anyone else—blamed him.

"Go on," she said encouragingly. He heaved another sigh and nodded.

"We got into a row. She'd never been too keen on the idea of joining the Order, and I think the fact that it was the night before we were to join got to her. I told her that she'd made a commitment to Dumbledore, but she wouldn't have it. She said she wasn't joining, and that if anything happened to me or any of her friends, she'd go straight to the Ministry about Dumbledore's little vigilante group—"

Lily sighed, shaking her head. She was disappointed in her friend. Mary had never said anything about not wanting to join the Order to Lily. Perhaps if she had, Lily would have been able to talk some sense into her...

"—So I got really angry," Sirius continued, now talking through his hands that had gone back over his face. "I—well, you know what I said to her. Don't make me say it again."

Lily and James nodded. He'd called her a "bloody coward" and said that if she wasn't willing to fight, then she didn't deserve to be a proper witch. He'd told her to crawl back to her "bloody muggle way of life." When Lily had first heard that, she was angry. But as the days passed, and she'd heard Sirius' story over and over again, she began to understand. Mary was willing to ruin the Order for her own selfish reasons, and this angered Sirius, and now even angered Lily.

"—And then she stormed out," he concluded, shaking his head. "Haven't seen her since. Went by her parents' again the other day, but they were too furious to speak with me..."

"I can't believe her," Lily said, shaking her head. "Even after her parents almost _died_ because of Voldemort, she doesn't want to fight him? Doesn't want us to fight him?"

James shook his head. "You forget how blessed you are with your friends, Lily," he said wisely. "You can't expect everyone to be as brave as you, or Alice, or Emmeline."

Lily nodded, tears in her eyes. Mary had never been the bravest person, preferring to admire Sirius from afar when she fancied him, and not giving him the telling-off he deserved when he slighted her. She'd get in rows with her parents about returning to Hogwarts, worrying about it for weeks on end, unable to handle the conflict...

Just then, there was a faint crack from outside. James, Lily, and Sirius rushed to the window, partially out of hope that it was Mary, and partially out of fear that it was a death eater.

"Alice," Lily breathed in relief. She went to the front door and opened it as her friend walked in.

"Hullo," Alice said, greeting everyone in the room. Lily looked at her, and noticed that she had seemed to have deteriorated a bit since the last time she saw her. Alice's skin was pale and she had bags under her eyes, as though she hadn't slept for days.

"How's it going?" James asked kindly, seeming to notice the same thing as Lily.

"Alright," Alice said vaguely, glancing over towards Lily. Lily sensed that Alice wanted to speak with her alone.

"How about we go pay Wormtail a visit," Sirius said to James, also sensing Alice's intention. "Moony said he'd be over there to hear how his mission last night went—"

"Alright," James said instantly, grabbing his cloak.

"Be safe," Lily said instinctively. That had become their new way to bid "farewell."

"Always," James said, kissing her tenderly on the forehead. Lily clapped Sirius on the back as he went through the door.

"Would you like some tea?" Lily offered, motioning for Alice to come further into the house and make herself comfortable.

Alice nodded tightly, and they made their way to the kitchen, where Lily began preparing the tea.

"You look awful," Lily observed in a pained tone, waving her wand so that the kettle landed on the stove.

"I know," Alice said through a tight throat. She paused a moment, and then burst out in tears.

"Oh no," Lily moaned, hurrying around the table to put her arms around her friend. "Shh, what's wrong?"

"It's e-e-everything," Alice sobbed. "F-Frank out all the time, having all these n-n-near misses...Emmeline staying with us because she can't handle her empty flat without Mary...she's always crying, Lily!"

Alice looked up into her friend's eyes, tears streaming down her face. Lily pulled up a chair and sat in front of her, keeping Alice's hands within her own.

"It's horrible with Mary being gone," Lily said, trying to keep her voice from shaking. She had no room to cry, when Alice's situation was much worse than her own.

"I-I know," Alice said, wiping her nose on her sleeve. "I shouldn't be here...I'm sure you're going through enough, you two were always so close..."

"Oh hush," Lily said, shaking her head. "I have James here with me all the time, I can't complain. I can't imagine what you're going through with Frank, and Emmeline can't be making it any easier."

Alice nodded, dissolving into tears again. "She's my b-best friend. I can't turn her out!"

Lily shook her head. "I'll speak with her. She can stay with me and James for a bit, and maybe Sirius or Remus won't mind taking her in."

"You'd do that for me?" Alice said, turning her tearful eyes up at Lily.

"Stop sounding so surprised," Lily said with a smile. "Of course I would."

Alice squeezed her hands, and Lily got up to finish the tea, and allow Alice to compose herself. Lily took her seat again after a few moments, handing Alice a cup.

"I heard you had quite a near miss on your mission the other night," Alice said, trying to keep her tone light for such a grave subject.

Lily shook her head. "Not near for me, near for James. Severus used that horrible curse he'd hit Mary with that one time on the Hogwarts Express...except it hit James square in the chest."

Lily shivered, and Alice put her hand over her's comfortingly.

"Talk about something else," Lily said quickly, sensing that she was losing her battle against tears. "Tell me about you."

"Well, Frank's mother has been coming over quite often..."

Lily nodded politely, trying not to betray her contempt for the bossy, nosey woman.

"...She keeps hassling us to have a child."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "And?"

"And I can't do it, not right now!" Alice said, choking on her voice. "How could I properly care for a child _now_? Look at me!"

Lily nodded. "I tell James the same thing. Who could have a baby and fight Voldemort at the same time?"

Alice shook her head. "But Mrs. Longbottom doesn't know about the Order. She thinks I just sit home while Frank is out fighting—"

"It's none of her business when you have a child," Lily said sharply, her eyes flashing at the thought of that woman adding to Alice's burdens. "You tell her that."

Alice nodded, sipping on her tea. "I will. I've taken to just ignoring her, but maybe it would help to say something..."

Lily and Alice spoke for a little while longer, until the sun began to set.

"I'd better get home...Frank will need some dinner when he gets off," Alice said, standing up.

"I'll send a letter to Emmeline right away," Lily said, hugging Alice farewell.

"Thank you, so much," Alice said earnestly, pulling the door open.

"Be safe."

* * *

"James," Lily asked curiously as she buttoned her traveling cloak, "whatever happened to that wonderful map that you lot created?"

James sighed and smiled ruefully. "Filch snatched it from Peter last year. He'd gone on a visit to the kitchens, and was too busy stuffing his face on the way back to check who was around him—"

"Oh, that's awful!" Lily said sadly. "It was so useful."

"Well, our sneaking-around-Hogwarts-days are over," James said with a smile. "It's really no use to us now."

"I suppose," Lily said, although she was still a little upset that Filch held such a valuable item. "What about when you send your kid off to Hogwarts?"

James paled and quickly turned towards her. "What?"

"Oh calm down, not anytime _soon_," she laughed. "But eventually. Wouldn't you like them to have it?"

James shrugged, taking a pinch of Floo powder. "I suppose. But if it really is _my_ son, then he'll find it in time."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Why are you so sure you're having a son?"

James winked. "Well, a little Lily certainly won't live up to _my_ legacy at Hogwarts..."

Lily took a playful swing at his arm, but James had just shouted "Dumbledore's office!" and disappeared into the flames. Lily sighed and followed him.

"Potters," grumbled Mad-Eye Moody, who limped by, blue eye swiveling, as James helped Lily out of the fireplace. "Just in time...we were about to start."

Lily scanned the room, which was covered in an assortment of mismatched chairs, and led James over to where Alice, Frank, Sirius, Emmeline, and Remus were sitting. As they walked, they were greeted by various members of the Order. Lily smiled and waved to Marlene McKinnon; during the first meeting, they had laughed about her dating James, and Lily was on quite good terms with her now.

"Where's Peter?" Lily asked curiously as she waved to Hagrid, who was standing off to the side, looming a few feet over everyone else's heads.

"Said something about his mum being ill," Remus shrugged, turning his attention to Dumbledore.

"Welcome, everyone!" Dumbledore said loudly over the chatter. It instantly died down as he stood behind his desk, waiting to go on.

"Let us waste no time, for I know some of you will begin your posts at the Malfoy Manor tonight. Let us thank some of our newest members for their immense bravery in bringing us information on the Malfoys: Mr. Black, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter!"

Everyone turned their heads to get a look at Lily, James, and Sirius. Lily blushed as they clapped, and Gideon and Fabian gave her thumbs up. They didn't deserve all the credit; the Prewetts had helped save James, and Sturgis and Frank had wiped the Muggle's memories.

"Now, I have had a chance to examine the memories that Lily has provided, and have come up with a conclusive list of names we can follow up on..."

"Lucius Malfoy, Avery, junior and senior; Alecto and Amycus Carrow, Crabbe, Goyle, Jugson, Bellatrix Black"—Sirius growled—"Rudolphus Lestrange, Mulicber, Evan Rosier, and Severus Snape."

Lily cringed at Severus' name. Emmeline glanced at her uneasily, but Lily ignored her.

"These are the known death eaters," Dumbledore said gravely, "but there are many more suspected. We hope that those who are stationed outside the Malfoy's will discover more so that we may continue to trail them and gather information."

Everyone mumbled in agreement. Lily glanced around the room and stopped on McGonagall's face. She looked mortified to have heard so many of her former students listed as "known" death eaters.

"Does anyone have news to report?" Dumbledore asked after a pause, looking pointedly at his brother, Aberforth, and Mundungus Fletcher. Both were heavily relied on in the Order for their positions; Aberforth ran the Hogs Head, where a darker crowd hung around, and Mundungus dealt mostly with wizard criminals. Elphias Dodge, one of Dumbledore's close friends, had hinted to Lily that Dumbledore had helped Mundungus out of a tight spot once, and Mundungus had pledged his fidelity to him in return. Neither made any move to speak, so Dumbledore went on.

"Good. On a lighter note," Dumbledore continued, a small twinkle returning to his eye, "the developed film has returned with the official Order picture from the last meeting. For safety reasons, we will only have one copy, but it will reside here at my desk should anyone wish to examine it..."

Lily began to stir with everyone else as Dumbledore signaled the end of the meeting. People began forming groups and speaking in hushed whispers about the new discoveries.

"Always knew that Lucius was rotten," Lily overheard Mad-Eye growling to McGonagall. "Always lurking around the Ministry, filling all the head of department's pockets...I never afforded him a second glance."

"I wouldn't mind having a go at Bellatrix," Emmeline said. "Just to shut her up. Always screeching and cackling—"

The room became silent as the flames in Dumbledore's fireplace turned green. Every wizard and witch in the room pulled out their wands, except Dumbledore. He merely gazed at the flames with his eyebrows raised, as if observing a particularly interesting Quidditch match.

There was a collective sigh of relief as Peter scurried out of the flames.

"Mr. Pettigrew, so glad you are able to join us," Dumbledore said, although his eyebrows were still raised.

Peter twitchily nodded towards him, and began to mumble in a low whisper. Dumbledore's eyebrows rose higher.

"What was that, Peter?" he said sharply. Peter looked around the room, terrified.

"Mary—Mary MacDonald," he gasped, pointedly avoiding the corner Lily and her friends were standing. Sirius lunged forward.

"Mary? What about her!" he yelled. Peter backed away, flattening himself against the wall.

"D-dead."

* * *

Lily recognized that people around her were screaming, but she could barely hear it. There was a loud buzzing in her head, as though someone had cast a muffiato charm. She saw the horrified looks on people's faces, saw Emmeline's mouth fall open in shock, and saw Sirius punch the brick wall next to Peter's head. She began walking foreword.

"Lily, where are you going?" James said, trying to force his way through the crowd. Lily ignored him, making her way to Peter.

A pair of hands grabbed her shoulders. She spun around and threw them off violently, moving more purposefully towards Peter, who was now cowering below Sirius, who was bellowing at him.

"WHERE IS SHE? TELL ME WHERE SHE IS!"

Lily pushed past him and kneeled down, so that she was face-to-face with Peter. He looked up at her with watery eyes.

"L-Lily..." he moaned.

"Where is she, Peter?" Lily said evenly, speaking loud enough so that he could hear her through the chaos behind her. She vaguely heard James and Remus trying to calm Sirius.

He looked up at her fearfully, shaking too much to get a coherent word out. Lily was growing impatient.

"Peter, _tell me where she is_," Lily repeated cooly.

Peter mumbled something, and Lily swiftly stood up and drew her wand, growing irritated.

"TELL ME WHERE MY BEST FRIEND IS!"

A light hand fell on her shoulder, and she unwillingly lowered her wand. She turned and saw Dumbledore standing there.

"Go home with James. Let me speak with Peter, and I will come to you right away with information."

"Don't go to her without me," Lily pleaded as James dragged her to the fireplace. "Albus, please..."

The last thing she saw was him nodding solemnly, and she was suddenly standing in her living room. James led her to the couch, but she wouldn't sit down.

"I need to go...I need to go!" she cried desperately, struggling against James' grip.

"Where are you going?" he asked, holding on tightly.

"I can't just _sit _here!"

"Dumbledore will be along in a moment," James insisted stubbornly.

"James, let _go_ of me!" Lily burst out. He dropped his hands and cried out, as though he had been burnt. She took this opportunity to head towards the door, so she could step outside and disapparate.

"Lily!" James roared, running after her. She stood there a moment, deliberating where she could go. Perhaps she could force it out of Severus—

"Don't you disapparate," James pleaded. "This is how Mary left Sirius...I won't have you turn up the same way!"

Lily snapped out of her haze or fury and looked at James clearly. He was red in the face and looked terrified. Lily leaned against the front door and slid down, dissolving into hysterical sobs.

"She—can't—be—dead," Lily moaned, burying her face in James' shoulder as he slid down next to her.

"You can't go running off," James said soothingly. "You still have Emmeline and Alice, Sirius, Moony, and _me_."

"I could _kill_ someone right now, James," she admitted, hiding her face as she said so. "I want to find whoever did this and _kill_ them..."

"Leave that to Sirius," James said darkly.

"No!" Lily protested, standing up abruptly. James quickly followed her, still fearing that she would disapparate. "She was _my_ best friend. _I_ was there for her when he ignored her the first five years of Hogwarts. _I_ was there when he used her. _I want to kill whoever did this_!"

"Mrs. Potter?"

Lily jumped at her name. Dumbledore was standing at the threshold of the fireplace patiently. Lily tried to recover herself, hoping he hadn't heard her outburst.

"Did you find out where she is?" Lily asked weakly.

Dumbledore nodded solemnly.

"You may accompany me, under the condition that you maintain control of yourself," Dumbledore said softly. "The sight will more likely than not be unpleasant, and if it is going to affect you so..."

"I'll be fine," Lily insisted, violently wiping the tears from her face. She noticed that Dumbledore seemed to meet James' eye, and with a small nod, he held out his arm. James and Lily grabbed on, and with a "crack," they were suddenly standing in a dark, cold forest.

"Where are we?" Lily whispered, clutching onto James' arm. He stroked her head soothingly.

"We are in the forests...right outside of Godric's Hollow."

Lily shivered and bit her lip. Mary had been only within a few miles...

"Dumbledore, she's over here—"

Lily and James jumped at the sound of McGonagall's voice. Lily supposed that Dumbledore had sent a few people ahead to ensure that the area was safe.

"Are you sure you want to see this, Lily?"

Lily nodded, and walked briskly over to where McGonagall had called from.

She gasped as she suddenly came across the body of her best friend. Lily's first instinct was to cover her—Mary's robes were ripped and her body was indecently exposed. Lily removed her own cloak, gazing at Mary's figure as she did. Her body was covered in bloody scratches, bites, and bruises, some shaped like handprints. Her beautiful golden spirals were sprawled in a halo around her face, and Lily sickenly noticed that chunks of it were scattered around the forest floor...

Lily threw her cloak around Mary and stepped back into James' arms. She felt lightheaded and dizzy. She turned and threw up behind James, who held her hair back. Lily shakily stood again, leaning heavily on James and dark spots obstructing her vision.

Distantly, she thought she heard Dumbledore say, "It looks as though she has been violated..."

With that, Lily's world went completely black.


	29. A Favor

**HI I'm back finally! Two weeks is the longest I've ever gone without an update...I apologize. Finals week was horrible. Now it's all over and I have _all _winter break to write for you lovely people :) (which is much better than writing tedious papers for professors) This chapter isn't too exciting, but I needed to get some things cleared up before the NEXT chapter, which I have a feeling you guys are going to like ;) Your reviews from last chapter were, as always, smile-inducing. I'll update soooon (as in possibly tomorrow or the next day) to make up for my long absence. xoxo  
**

Lily picked up her black robes. They hadn't even been washed since the last time she'd worn them.

"Ready?" James asked softly, poking his head into the bedroom.

"In a moment," Lily said with a small smile, sliding into the robes and adjusting them.

James waited patiently for her, and kissed her forehead as she passed him to go to the fireplace. She sighed; he'd been walking on eggshells around her for the past week. It was beginning to get tiring, and only facilitated her sadness. How would she ever be happy again if James wasn't?

"I'm _fine_, James," she said, turning to him as he rested his hand on the small of her back.

He studied her for a moment with his eyebrows raised behind his glasses. He suddenly cracked a smile. Lily realized she hadn't seen him smile in a very long time. She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. She tried to pull away after a moment—the funeral was beginning soon—but James wouldn't let her go.

"James," she giggled, pulling her head back. His eyes lit up at her laugher, and he took the opportunity to tickle her. She shrieked with laughter, her entire body shaking. He wrestled her to the floor, tears of mirth now filling her eyes.

"James, no!" she continued to laugh, squirming on the floor. He stopped and kissed her again, cupping her head so that it didn't come into contact with the hard floor.

"We can go now," he said, pulling her up and planting an affectionate kiss on her cheek.

* * *

"—was such a brilliant young witch. And her family were excellent members to the wizarding community. This whole affair is really, quite horrible."

Lily couldn't listen to any more of Augusta Longbottom's speech. She excused herself, winking at James, who looked after her pleadingly. Augusta was speaking directly to him, so he couldn't escape.

Lily wandered through the crowd, nodding politely to the other Order members. She stopped in front of the picture collage someone had put together. Hundreds of mini-Marlene McKinnions smiled and silently laughed back at her. In the center was the photograph of all the Order members, and Lily felt sick when she saw it; it only had been taken a little over two weeks ago.

"There goes another beautiful, talented witch."

Lily jumped at Sirius' voice. She turned and saw he was swaying slightly, shaking his head, gazing at the pictures. Lily studied him, and suddenly couldn't take being in the room anymore.

"Shall we get out of here?" Lily suggested.

Sirius looked startled. "It wouldn't be very respectful—"

"Marlene would _want_ me to go off and share that flask of Firewhiskey I know you have hidden in your robes—"

Sirius grinned, and for a moment his tired lines disappeared and the bags under his eyes vanished into his face.

"I suppose."

Lily quickly poked him with a disillusionment charm, did the same to herself, and grabbed his arm to lead him carefully through the crowd. If they bumped into a guest it would cause an uproar. People would think that dark wizards had snuck in—

"I saw a little muggle playground off behind the building," Sirius muttered when they were safely out of earshot. Lily shot a glance a James and decided he wouldn't miss her for an hour. Augusta still had her hand firmly wrapped around his upper arm.

"Alright, Black, time to share," Lily teased as she took the disillusionment charm off. He grinned and produced a large, nondescript flask. Lily took a seat on one of the rusty swings and Sirius sat next to her. She drank deeply, feeling a sudden rush of warmth through her body.

"Ah, look at you, Evans," Sirius said in a mocking tone, although it was tinged with a hint of sadness.

"What?" Lily said defiantly, wiping her mouth off and handing the flask back to Sirius. "And that's _Potter_ to you."

"You'll always be Evans to me," he said with a wink. "And the Evans I knew certainly wouldn't have snuck out of a funeral to drink with me."

Lily shrugged. "I suppose times have changed."

"They have," Sirius said morbidly, taking another swig and handing the Firewhiskey back to Lily.

They were quiet for a moment as Lily sipped her drink. The rhythmic creaking of their swings was comforting through the silence.

"You know, I never got around to telling Mary that I was the dog in the alley that one day at Hogsmead," Sirius said suddenly, his voice cracking.

Lily reached over and put a hand on his arm, not really sure what to say.

"And her parents banning me from the funeral..." he continued on furiously.

Lily squeezed his arm now.

"Sirius, you wouldn't have wanted to see her the way she was," Lily assured him, feeling tears forming in her own eyes.

"She still would have been beautiful," he said gruffly.

Lily nodded, letting tears fall. She hadn't allowed herself to cry over Mary. There was too much work for the Order to be done. Lily couldn't let it distract her. But now—

"How did Peter say he found her, anyways?" Lily croaked through her tight throat. She heard Sirius take another gulp of his drink.

"No need to be suspicious," Sirius said gently. "He was on his way to your's and James' house to see if you'd gone to the Order meeting yet—he was running a little late because of his mother being ill and all—and he heard...noises...from the forest..."

Sirius trailed off here, unable to speak anymore. Lily felt the urge to vomit again; both she and Sirius could infer what those horrible noises were.

He cleared his throat after a moment and continued.

"Anyways, so he transformed into his animagus and followed the sounds...got there just in time to see them disapparate—"

"Who?" Lily interrupted savagely. "Who did Peter see?"

Sirius put a calming hand on Lily's shoulder from his seat on the swing.

"He couldn't see faces. But he said they were wearing dark, hooded cloaks...they disapparated because they felt something on their left arms..."

He trailed off suggestively, and Lily felt the familiar burning anger from that night.

"Evans," Sirius said sternly. "It won't do to go barging into the middle of a bunch of them and try to take them on yourself. You're much better off sticking to your Order work so we can bring them _all_ down one day."

Lily breathed deeply and nodded. She was lucky to have friends to talk her back to sense when her anger overcame her.

"Where was Moony tonight?" Lily asked to break the long silence that had fallen. "It's not a full moon tonight—"

To Lily's immense surprise, Sirius' face darkened.

"I don't know. Haven't heard from him in a while."

"I'm sure Dumbledore has him out doing something," Lily said, studying Sirius.

"Why wouldn't he just tell us, then?" Sirius said harshly. "I don't like it, Lily—"

"Maybe he can't," she said sharply. "Or maybe he doesn't want to."

Sirius shrugged and handed the firewhiskey back to Lily.

* * *

"James," Lily asked lightly, holding onto his arm as they trekked through the snow, "you haven't seen much of Remus lately, have you?"

James quickly glanced down at Lily. "I have not. Why do you ask?"

Lily bit her lip and sighed. "A few weeks ago I was speaking with Sirius at Marlene's funeral—"

"—that's why you left me in the clutches of Augusta? To sneak off with my best mate?" James asked in exasperation.

Lily grinned cheekily and went on. "Anyway, he seemed quite suspicious with Remus. I told him that he was being thick, but—"

James stopped walking and gave Lily a pained look.

"It's difficult to trust people these days, Lily, no matter how much you want to."

"But _Remus_, James? Honestly—"

"My top priority is _you_, Lily. Just be careful whenever you see him—"

It was too late for Lily to retort, for they had just arrived at James' parent's house. They had been very ill recently, so Lily and James had taken it upon themselves to make frequent visits to ensure Mr. and Mrs. Potter had everything they needed. Even Mitzi was unable to perform most basic duties. Lily had put her up in bed next to Mr. and Mrs. Potter so that the elf wouldn't be alone.

"Hello? Mum?" James called as they stepped into the house.

"Maybe they're sleeping," Lily suggested, although a chill crept up her spine. She could tell that James had felt it too, for he began to make frantic, quick movements.

"Yeah, sleeping," he said distantly, going up the stairs two at a time. Lily stayed a few paces behind; she was sure she knew what he would find when he opened their bedroom door—

"They're dead," he said hollowly, standing in the doorway of the master bedroom.

"James, I'm so sorry—"

"Don't be," he said softly, turning to her. His face was completely dry, and he even made a valiant attempt at a grin. "It's probably a relief for them...they've been around for _ages_..."

Lily nodded, although she must have looked skeptical.

"I'm _fine_," he insisted, squeezing her hand. "After what we've seen so far, I'm _glad_ they were able to die peacefully, holding hands in bed. Mitzi even looks peaceful."

Lily peeked around James' shoulder into the Potters' room. Mr. and Mrs. Potter lay in bed together, Mrs. Potter's arm draped around Mr. Potter's chest, and Mitzi lay in a cozy makeshift bed a few feet away. All looked as though they were dreaming peacefully.

* * *

Lily shot up from her nap on the couch. She had dozed off after her night shift overseeing the Malfoy Manor with Edgar Bones. They had had quite an eventful night; Edgar had become impatient and snuck directly to one of the windows. When Lily berated him for being so thick, especially since he has a wife and kids, he swore that no one saw him, but Lily suspected otherwise; the Death Eaters patrolling the grounds seemed to have increased, but perhaps that was just Lily's imagination...

Lily shot off the couch when she heard another noise. The first that had woken her sounded suspiciously like the crack of apparation, and now she heard approaching footsteps. It couldn't be James or Sirius...they were out on Dumbledore's orders for the night...

Lily grabbed her wand and peered out the window. It was too dark to define a face, but there was definitely a man approaching her front door—

"It is Remus Lupin!" a muffled voice came through the door. Lily breathed a sigh of relief and unbolted her door, swinging it opened and welcoming Remus in.

"Hello, Remus!" she said cheerfully, standing aside to let him in. When he stepped into the light, some of her cheer disappeared. He was covered in more scars than before, and he looked undernourished and underslept.

"Hello, Lily," he said softly. "Is James around?"

"No, he's out with Sirius for the night—"

"Good, good, that's what I thought," Remus interrupted quickly.

Lily studied him for a moment. He was acting quite strangely...and why would it be _good_ that James is out?

"W-would you like some tea?" Lily asked, trying to keep the strain out of her voice. She could come up with a plan, maybe send someone a quick message, if she kept him occupied.

"That would be lovely," Remus said, following her to the kitchen and slumping down at the kitchen table.

"What brings you out so late?" Lily asked lightly, rummaging around the kitchen and keeping her wand tightly in her hand.

"I—I actually had a favor to ask of you, Lily."

Lily grabbed the rest of the tea things and went to the table, seating herself across from him.

"What is it?" she asked curiously, with a sense of foreboding.

Remus sighed and looked away from her, focusing his attention on the floor.

"As you know, it's been quite difficult for me to get a job because of my—condition. Sirius was more than happy to help provide for me, but now I don't think he's as willing..."

Lily felt an enormous sense of relief, and instantly felt guilty for mistrusting him. It was _Remus_.

"Of course James and I will help you out!" Lily exclaimed, placing a hand over his. "Sirius is just on edge now a days, with Mary and everything..."

"I'd—erm—actually prefer if this was just between you and me," Remus said sheepishly, meeting her eye. "You know how close Sirius and James are. I'm sure James might feel the same way."

Lily wished she could argue him, but instead she looked away uncomfortably, remembering their conversation while walking to the Potters'.

"I'll be more than willing to help you," she said softly. "I don't know why you've been gone so much, but I believe it's for a good cause."

Remus squeezed her hand and made an attempt at a smile.

"This means a lot to me, Lily. I'll be honest to _you. _Dumbledore has me working with the other werewolves, gauging what You-Know-Who is offering them, what side they're taking—"

"Well why don't you just tell James and Sirius that?" Lily asked curiously.

Remus looked up at her with a pained expression. She even might have seen a tear escape his eye.

"I have to fit in with them," he said in barely a whisper. "I've—I've done some t-things I'm not proud of."

"Oh, Remus," Lily breathed. "That's horrible. I can't believe Dumbledore would ask you to—"

"We made a promise when we joined the Order of the Phoenix," Remus said, shaking his head. "People have died for it...this is the least I can do."

Lily nodded.

"Please, don't tell James," Remus said, desperation shining through his eyes. "I don't want him, or Sirius, to ever know. They spent the majority of their Hogwarts careers from taming the werewolf in me...I couldn't bear telling them how I'm _embracing_ it now—"

His voice was dripping with self loathing that made Lily feel helpless. How could she possibly find the words to comfort him?

"I don't think they would judge you," Lily said softly. "But it's not my business to tell them. I'll be more than willing to help you out. I'll go to Gringott's tomorrow and take out some gold for you."

Remus nodded and stood up, looking around uneasily.

"I should be going. James might not like me stopping by so late—"

"This is _my_ house, too," Lily said defensively.

Remus smiled. "That it is. I need to catch up on some sleep anyways—"

Lily walked him to the door.

"Goodnight, Remus. Be safe."

He looked down at her for a moment, and enveloped her in a hug. Lily hugged him back, surprised. Remus had never been one for physical affection.

"This means the world to me, Lily."

"You're our friend, Remus, it's nothing."


	30. Blood Replenishing Potion

**Wow, thank you guys for the great feedback from my last chapter! I definitely wasn't expecting it! This chapter gets a little dark, but I ended it on a lighter note. Just so you're keeping up with the time line (idk how well I'm conveying the time...), "Violated" took place the fall after Lily's graduation, "A Favor" took place winter after graduation, and this chapter is winter/spring after graduation. In terms of the Harry Potter story time line, Trelawney makes her prediction about Harry August, a year after they graduate. So I think you guys know what you should be expecting soooon... :)**

"James, would you like another piece of apple pie?"

James turned his head to Lily and grinned widely.

"That would be lovely, Mrs. Evans," he said sweetly as she piled on yet another slice.

"Sirius?" she asked, coming towards him with two different pies in hand.

Sirius didn't even bother to look at her.

"No thank you, Mrs. Evans."

Lily shot him a warning look, but he chose not to notice. Instead, he leaned in closer to Petunia. She was sitting up straight with her nose angled towards the ceiling, but she didn't seem to be rejecting Sirius' attentions.

"How's Vernon doing, Petunia?" Lily asked loudly. Petunia shot her a very sour look.

"He's fine," she said stiffly, shooting a worried glance at Sirius. Lily and James locked eyes and grinned; a little annoyance such as a fiance would not stop Sirius from flirting with the only remotely available girl in the room.

"Vernon's a good chap," Mr. Evans said, eyeing Sirius and his rugged good looks uneasily. "Very ambitious. What did you say you do, Mr. Black?"

"Law enforcement," Sirius said vaguely, with a discreet wink towards James.

"A very respectable occupation," Mrs. Evans said with a nod, shoveling more pie onto James' plate, unasked.

Mr. Evans grunted and turned back to examining the Christmas gifts Lily, James, and Sirius had given him. Lily knew he was quite interested in history, and he had been very excited when he found out that there was a whole new world of history for him to read about. Thus, Lily, James, and Sirius each bought him a book on different eras of wizarding history, complete with moving pictures. For Mrs. Evans, the lot had pulled their funds and bought her a very expensive goblin-made necklace. Once Lily had explained its value, Mrs. Evans was thrilled. Currently, the ornate piece of metal dangled from her neck as she hurried around the room, cleaning up and ensuring that people had enough on their plates.

Lily leaned back and rested her head on James' shoulder. She was stuffed with good food and was beginning to feel satisfyingly groggy. She dozed off, contentedly listening to the sounds the wireless playing classic Christmas tunes, Sirius' low voice speaking to Petunia, and the clatter of Mrs. Evans clearing up from dinner.

Lily jumped up at the sound of a loud crash. Her heart beating quickly, she brandished her wand and turned to gauge James and Sirius' reactions. They were just as alert as she was; they had discussed the possibility of an attack on a day where entire families gathered together in one place.

"It came from over there," Sirius said in a low growl, pointing his wand to the living room. In another situation, Lily would have found Petunia's admiring looks towards Sirius comical. Now, however, she pulled Petunia up from her chair and pushed her sister behind her, so that the Lily, James, and Sirius stood between the Evans' and whatever caused the loud crash in the living room.

"You lot stay in here," Sirius said quickly, looking at James and Lily. "Grab a hold of them"—he nodded towards the Evans'—"and be ready to disapparate at my signal."

Lily nodded tersely to show she understood, and stepped back to link arms with Petunia and her mother. James, however, hesitated and looked longingly at Sirius.

"James," Lily said sharply, nodding to her father. James came to and stepped back, linking arms with Mr. Evans. Lily could feel her mother shaking from beneath her arm as Sirius opened the door and stepped into the room.

"It's okay!" he shouted after a tense minute. "Just an owl!"

Lily released her breath she had been holding the whole time and laughed in relief. It was an _owl_. A stupid, simple, owl...

"Oh no," Sirius said as Lily and James hurried into the room. The owl was laying amongst the shattered glass of the window. Lily hurried over to it, muttering "repairo" to fix the window and "episki" to heal the owl's scratches from the glass.

"What is it?" James asked quickly, standing over Sirius' shoulder to read the letter.

"The Bones'..." Sirius muttered. "Lily, they need you back at your house."

Lily shut the window as she released the owl back into the night.

"What happened?" she asked, ignoring her family standing in the living room doorway.

"They need a blood replenishing potion, and fast," Sirius read. "Let's go."

Lily strode towards her family, kissing her mum and dad quickly on the cheek and hugging Petunia.

"Duty calls," she said as way of explanation.

"We understand," Mrs. Evans said, although it was clear from the expression on her face that she did not.

"Be careful," Petunia said softly as Lily turned to go. She paused and turned back to her sister.

"I will be."

* * *

Lily landed hard on her cobblestone walkway. In her haste, she had sloppily apparated. James and Sirius followed with large "cracks" a second after.

"What happened?" Lily asked again, grabbing Sirius' arm as they strode towards the house.

"Edgar and his family were attacked," Sirius said gravely, not meeting Lily's eye. "One of his kids and his wife barely survived...we can't take them to St. Mungo's. There'll be too many questions."

"They're _here_?" James asked incredulously.

His question was answered as Lily threw open her door. Inside was a scene of chaos. Mrs. Bones and a young boy were stretched out on Lily's living room floor, heavily wrapped in crimson-dyed bandages.

"Lily, I'm so sorry, I didn't know where else to take them!"

Emmeline shot over to Lily and clutched her wrist tightly.

"Dumbledore sent us to get them...I just took them to the first empty place I could think of!" she said frantically, as though Lily was about to curse her. "I knew you were at your parent's for Christmas..."

"Emmeline, it's okay!" Lily practically shouted over all the noise in the house. "What do I need to do?"

"We need a blood replenishing potion immediately," McGonagall said from her seated position next to Mrs. Bones.

"Can we get you anything?" Gideon asked, standing up from the couch, where he and his twin had been sitting with their heads in their hands.

"No—no," Lily stuttered, trying to make sense of the chaos. "I have the ingredients upstairs..."

She grabbed James and jogged up the stairs, where the noise from below became muffled and her head was able to clear.

"Why do they need _me_, James?" she asked, frantically tearing apart the closet in the hall. Fortunately, blood-replenishing potion was pretty simple. Lily knew the ingredients off the top of her head, but she threw opened her old potions book just to make sure.

"Because you're the best at potions," James said simply, gently rubbing her back as she scanned through the book. "You don't have to be a Healer to be good at healing."

Lily nodded and slammed the book shut. She grabbed her box of ingredients, threw them in her cauldron, and rushed back downstairs. She set up in the kitchen, where Alice herded everyone out.

"Is the whole Order here?" Lily asked in a low voice to Alice as she began to chop her ginger roots.

"Pretty much," Alice said. "Frank, Benji Fenwick, Mad-Eye, and Dumbledore are still at the Bones' house, looking for who did it." She paused. "Or to see if they'll come back."

"What does that mean?" Lily asked, keeping her eyes on her work. She conjured a small fire to bring the Gurdyroot juice to boil.

"Dumbledore thinks its a trap," Alice whispered. "They were very ostentatious about it—the Death eaters, I mean. They blew up half of Edgar's house and left the Dark Mark over it, and we don't think it was pure chance that Mrs. Bones and their son Colin survived. Emmeline, McGonagall, and the Prewetts had quite the time trying to get them from the house unnoticed."

Lily tried not to let her feeling of disgust creep in. She had to concentrate.

"How much longer, Lily?" McGonagall asked, poking her head in. Lily tried to ignore the sickening blood-red McGonagall's hands were stained.

"Just a few more minutes," Lily said shakily. "Have you closed the wounds?"

McGonagall shook her head sadly.

"They're cursed. Magic may not fix them. We need your potion to keep them alive until we can figure out how to save them."

Lily fleetingly thought of Severus' curse. She felt sick with herself for ever being friends with such a person.

Outside the kitchen, Lily heard her front door open. The house suddenly became deathly silent.

"Where should I put 'em, James?" Hagrid's voice floated through the door.

"O-over here," Lily heard James' shaky voice. Lily and Alice shared a look.

"I think he just brought in Edgar and his daughter's bodies."

* * *

The night seemed to go on forever. Lily kept herself busy by continuously brewing more blood-replenishing potion to keep Mrs. Bones and Colin alive, but poor Alice paced anxiously around the house waiting to hear word from Frank. Remus eventually arrived at the break of dawn—it had been a full moon—and took post with James and Sirius keeping watch outside the house in case Death eaters had somehow tracked the Order. McGonagall had dozed off with her head resting on the couch, her tight bun now unraveling into a tangled mess. Gideon, Fabian, and Emmeline now tended to Mrs. Bones and Colin, and Hagrid spoke soothing words to them. His deep voice rumbled through the house, providing a sense of comfort to all, especially Lily.

"Alice, are you _sure_ you don't want some calming drought?" Lily asked, taking her umpteenth cauldron of blood-replenishing potion off the fire, ready to be administered for the umpteenth time.

"I don't want to be under any influences when Frank gets back," Alice snapped, in an uncharacteristically peevish mood. She seemed to have sensed her rudeness, for she grudgingly added, "But thanks."

Both women jumped at the sounds of shouting outside. Lily nearly spilled her precious potion, but caught it in time. James came flying into the house, shouting of Frank, Mad-Eye, and Dumbledore's return.

Alice let out a cry and sprinted outside. Lily followed her out of the kitchen, but stopped in the living room to administer her latest potion. She kneeled down and Fabian tilted Mrs. Bones' head up.

"Here you go, Mrs. Bones," Lily said gently. "Time for another one."

"You're an angel," she said weakly, making a painful attempt at a smile.

Lily shook her head but decided it was best not to argue. She moved to Colin, who placidly took his potion with barely any signs of life.

"Dumbledore's here," Lily whispered to him. "Every thing's going to be okay now."

Just as the words left her mouth, Dumbledore strode in. Lily moved aside so he could kneel down next to the victims. She backed up into James' arms and watched as Dumbledore leaned over them and muttered incomprehensible words while waving his wand in rhythmic motions. Frank walked into the room with Alice latched onto his side; he was covered with blood and burn marks. Mad-Eye was bleeding profusely from his nose and unceremoniously mopping it up with the sleeves of his robe.

"What happened to Benji?" Lily whispered to Frank.

"Got in the way of a bad Reducto curse," Mad-Eye grunted thickly, "but now's not the time..."

After nearly half an hour, Dumbledore stood up. He motioned for Lily to follow him into the kitchen.

"I need you to brew two servings of a Draught of Living Death," he said quietly.

"Alright," Lily said, eager to help. "Did you—"

Dumbledore shook his head sadly.

"They were hit with a curse so dark that even I cannot undo its effects. I want them to die peacefully."

Lily nodded, gulping down the lump in her throat.

"Lily, you were the last to work with Edgar watching the Malfoys. Did anything out of the ordinary happen?"

Lily swallowed again and nodded, relating what happened that night with Edgar approaching the window, and her suspicions that he had been seen.

"Yes...yes," Dumbledore said vaguely, looking concerned.

"Do you think it was a trap?" Lily asked, watching his face.

"Indeed I do, Mrs. Potter. I believe Voldemort now knows that he is being watched by someone other than the Ministry, and he used Edgar to draw the people watching him out of hiding, so that he may punish them. That is why, I believe, Mrs. Bones and Colin Bones survived."

Lily shivered.

"Do you think he found us out?"

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows.

"I think not, Mrs. Potter. I specifically chose Alastor, Frank, and Benji to accompany me because they are Aurors who Voldemort already counts amongst his enemies. No, I do not believe he knows of anyone else."

Lily breathed a sigh of relief, and turned to make her last potion of the night.

* * *

"Oi, morons!" Lily shouted as a quaffle landed in her pudding, splattering it all over the front of her robes.

"Sorry, Evans!" Sirius shouted through his laughter. "You know how Peter is at Quidditch..." Peter waved sheepishly from behind Sirius.

"I've told you a million times to keep it over there!" Lily shouted, waving her wand so that the Quaffle shot straight towards Sirius' face. To her displeasure, he caught it expertly.

"She's got quite an attitude, that one, doesn't she?" Fabian joked, nudging James from his broom.

"Watch it, Prewett," Lily warned, playfully waving her wand at him.

"This field is brilliant!" James exclaimed, artfully drawing the conversation away from Lily and her temper.

"Ah, you can thank our sister, Molly, for this," Gideon said, making a wide loop around the circle of trees on his broom. "She's got quite a bit of land a good way from muggles."

"It's a good thing, too," Remus said, hovering in the air. "I heard she has quite a lot of kids. That can't make it easy to hide magic from muggles."

Fabian nodded wisely. "Especially with her new set of twins. Little monsters, just like their uncles."

Lily zoned them out and lay back down on her blanket. In celebration of the warm spring weather, the Marauders decided to play a game of quidditch. Lily agreed to come along, and packed a picnic for everyone. Lily even brought Cliodna along. The cat was madly chasing around any insect that happened to fly into her vision; she was clearly glad to be out of the house for once.

As they zoomed around the field on brooms, Lily sprawled contentedly on the ground, leafing through a Healer's guide. After the incident with the Bones', Lily decided to delve further into healing. It was clear that a public place, such as St. Mungo's, could not be trusted for any odd injuries that the Order members might incur; it would cause too many unwanted questions, and possibly arouse Voldemort's suspicions.

Just as Lily flipped to the chapter on "Major Internal Organs," she heard rustling in the bushes. She eyed them suspiciously, but went back to reading after a moment, thinking that it must be Clio. The second time, she distinctly heard giggles.

"She's pretty—"

"I want to play Quidditch!"

"No, Charlie, mum'll be mad!"

"You're not the boss of me, Percy, you're _younger_!"

"Gotcha!" Lily shouted, pushing aside the bush. Three young red-haired boys crouched behind it, looking guilty.

"Hullo," said the oldest, who looked about 8 or 9 years old.

"Hello," Lily said, taken aback at his boldness. "Are you Molly's children?"

"Bill Weasley," the oldest said, sticking his small hand out. Lily laughed and took it, and laughed harder when he pressed his little boy lips to her hand. "What's _your_ name?"

"I'm Lily Potter," she said, smiling kindly. Bill instantly dropped her hand.

"Oh no, you're James Potter's _wife_," he said disappointedly. Lily laughed again, gaining the attention of the quidditch players.

"Oh no, boys, does your mum know you're out here?" Gideon said, flying low to the ground.

"I want to play, uncle Gideon!" the second youngest—who looked about 6 or 7—protested.

"I told them _not_ to," the youngest said, too haughtily for a normal 4-year-old to sound.

"We'll have to get you back before Molly has a fit," Fabian said to his brother. The Marauders groaned at the end of their game.

"I can take them," Lily volunteered eagerly.

Gideon and Fabian shared a look.

"Are you sure you can handle them?"

"Of course," Lily said, tossing her hair.

"Alright..."

With that, Lily took the youngest's hand and they were off through the fields. Bill pointed out a small house in the distance that was theirs.

"What're your names?" Lily asked, turning to the younger Weasleys.

"I'm Percy," the youngest said, "and I _don't_ need you to hold my hand."

"I'm Charlie," the 7-year-old said as he energetically ran in circles around the group. "Are you really married to James Potter?"

"I am," Lily laughed, trying to keep an eye on all three boys at once. "Why?"

"My uncles say he's a _brilliant_ Quidditch player," Bill said eagerly. "D'you think he'll give me lessons?"

"If he has time I'm sure he'd love to."

"Only, he's too busy fighting _You-Know-Who_, isn't he?" Percy asked, looking up at her with wide eyes. Lily's heart faltered.

"W-what makes you say that?" Lily asked, suddenly terrified. How many people knew what she and James were doing?

"Well, he's a _good_ wizard, isn't he?" Charlie said excitedly, literally jumping up and down from all his energy. "My mum and dad say that all good wizards are fighting him, and if you're not, then you're a bad wizard."

"Yeah," Bill cut in importantly, "a _Death Eater_."

"Yeah," Lily said distantly. She waited for her heart rate to return to normal. They didn't know anything important, she assured herself.

After a few moments, they arrived at the run-down house. Lily tried to knock on the door, but the boys pushed it opened and dragged Lily inside.

"MUM! _MUM_! LILY POTTER IS HERE!"

"Boys? _Where have you been_!"

A plump, red-haired woman rounded the corner, twins in arm, one on each hip.

"We wanted to see uncle Gideon and uncle Fabian," Bill said sheepishly.

"I tried to tell them not to do it, mum!" Percy cut in quickly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "I told them that you'd be _mad_!"

"Well then, you should have come _straight_ to me!" Mrs. Weasley said exasperatedly. "What have I told you about wandering off—Oh! Hello!"

Mrs. Weasley suddenly started as she noticed Lily standing in the doorway.

"Hello," Lily said, "I'm Lily Potter."

"Yes, yes, of course you are. You're just as pretty as they say you are...I'm Molly Weasley...I'm so sorry for my boys..."

"They're very charming," Lily said, with a wink at Bill. He blushed madly and hid his face in his mother's dress.

"Oh, I wouldn't call them _charming_," Mrs. Weasley growled, shooting a glare at Charlie, who froze on one of the kitchen shelves, mid-climb. Lily giggled as Molly rolled her eyes.

"Can I get you some tea, dear?"

"No, you already have your hands full," Lily said, nodding to the twins. One had a fistful of his mother's hair and seemed to be debating whether or not to yank it. The other was swatting happily at Percy's glasses.

"It was so nice to meet you. I hear you're very helpful at _work_ with Gideon and Fabian," she said, giving Lily a knowing look. "If I had more time—"

"You have such a lovely family," Lily said enviously. "Sometimes I wish I had the time..."

"One day, dear," Mrs. Weasly said, patting Lily on the shoulder. "Although, I'd suggest with starting out with just _one_."


	31. Crucio

**Here's another one! I just wanted to address some confusion over Remus (this is for you, Sweet Lovely Lily): He is not with the werewolves exclusively, but he's been spending more time with them to gain their trust. He's still friends with all the other Marauders, but the stress of the Order is causing Sirius (and James a little) to doubt him (but he doesn't fully think he's gone over to the dark side...he just thinks he's acting strange).**

**If I don't update for a few days, I just want to say I hope you all have fantastic holidays! Your comments & feedback have made my year :)  
**

"This is terribly boring," Lily moaned, slumping against the wall.

"Her incenses are driving me crazy," Sirius said, scrunching up his nose.

"I can barely smell them," Lily commented, looking concerned. Her nose began twitching as she tried to inhale what Sirius claimed to smell.

"Heightened olfactory system," Sirius said with a wink, tapping his nose.

"Ah," Lily said, relieved that there was nothing wrong with her own senses.

They fell into another silence, Sirius fidgeting around and Lily trying not to doze off.

"I want to transform," Sirius complained, attempting to stretch out his limbs.

"Don't leave me!" Lily begged, horrified at the thought of sitting alone through the night.

"I'm going crazy, Evans!"

"Why d'you think Dumbledore has us watching this old bat, anyways?" Lily asked eagerly, trying to divert Sirius' attention from running off in his dog form.

"We've been over this a million times," Sirius sighed, reaching his arms over his head lazily. "Dumbledore thinks You-Know-Who wants her."

"Clearly," Lily said dryly. "I wonder why? She seems pretty useless."

Lily and Sirius peered into the window next to them. A small woman with large glasses and draped in gauzy shawls and bangles paced around her living room, circling a glowing orb. Sybill Trelawney seemed highly agitated, and appeared to be muttering to herself between taking swigs out of a bottle of cooking sherry. Lily and Sirius ducked as the woman made a sharp, sporadic turn towards the window. She was so close that Lily could hear her muffled muttering.

"As the seventh month dies," Lily could hear her say shakily. "But _what does it mean_?"

There was suddenly a loud crash, and Lily and Sirius scurried back to the window. The woman seemed to have tried to punt her crystal ball out of frustration, and was now woozily stumbling around in pain. Lily and Sirius tried desperately to stifle their giggles.

"S'far as I'm concerned, he can _have_ her," Lily giggled softly. "I'm losing out on sleep for _this_?"

"Dunno," Sirius shrugged once they had gained control over themselves. "She could be related to Cassandra Trelawney...that woman predicted my great uncle Herbert's death down to the exact hour!"

Lily rolled her eyes.

"_This_ Trelawney seems like a great old fraud to me."

Sirius and Lily erupted into more silent giggles.

"Where's Prongs tonight?" Sirius asked, leaning his back against the house and yawning widely.

"Dumbledore has him and Peter off in Knockturn Alley," Lily said with a shiver, all laughter dying from her face. "He thinks that the Death eaters are using the basement of Borgin and Burkes for some kind of torture chamber. Borgin is an old family friend of the Malfoy's."

"I've heard of that bugger," Sirius growled. "Always coming around trying to get my mother to sell off some of the Black family heirlooms. Not that I'd have minded seeing them go, but he was even more of a greasy git than she was."

"Knockturn Alley is the only place still open," Lily sighed. "Diagon Alley is all but deserted. I tried visit the Apothecary the other day for some potion ingredients, but it's been shut down. I haven't had a chance to see if the one in Hogsmeade is opened—"

"Shh! What's that?"

Lily froze and held her breath. There was no noise. She strained her ears against the silence, and realized that not even the crickets were chirping, as was usual for warm, August nights such as that one. It was _too_ silent.

"I'm sending my patronus to the others," Lily said under her breath. "I don't like this."

Sirius nodded. Dumbledore had about half the Order posted elsewhere around the neighborhood; Trelawney was clearly a high priority of his.

"Expecto Patronum," Lily whispered. The familiar silver doe shot out of her wand and dashed off into the night to deliver her message. As the doe faded, a streak of light flew past Lily's ear, causing her hair to fly back.

"They're over here!"

Lily and Sirius shot up out of their hiding spot and found themselves surrounded by five hooded figures.

"Ooh, it's my ickle cousikins!" a shrill voice mocked.

"Eh, Sev, look who it is," a hooded figure grunted, elbowing the figure to his right suggestively. Lily's blood turned cold.

"Lily Evans?" one of the figures said incredulously. He stepped forward and pulled off his hood. Lily gasped. The toll of being a Death eater seemed to have had a grave effect on him. His skin was sallower, his hair was longer and greasier, and his black eyes were cold.

"It's Lily _Potter_ now," Lily spat. A very sour look came over Severus' face.

"We have no time!" Bellatrix shrieked. She made a slashing motion with her wand, but Sirius was quicker; he shouted "PROTEGO!" and her curse deflected and missed her arm by inches.

"Stand aside you worthless blood-traitor!" she shouted, advancing on him. Despite her small size, she was quite sinister.

"Bellatrix, NO!" Severus shouted, standing between her and her prey. "We have things that need to be sorted out, and that cannot be achieved if they are _dead_."

Lily swallowed, breathing heavily.

"Why are you here?" Severus hissed, turning to Sirius.

"Oh, you know, Snivellus," Sirius said cheekily, "just taking a midnight stroll—AHHH!"

Severus was standing over Sirius, and Sirius was writhing under his wand, making horrible sounds of anguish. The death eaters laughed maliciously.

"STOP! STOP!" Lily cried, desperately trying to run at Severus. A strong arm held her in place, choking her.

"Why—are—you—here?" Severus spat, breathing heavily. He turned on Lily. "You will walk free if you tell me why you are here. Did Dumbledore send you? Are you working for him?"

Lily felt a wave of hate well up in her chest. She struggled against the arms holding her, and when she couldn't move, she spat in Severus' face. She instantly winced and braced herself for the onslaught of pain she was sure to have incited. When it didn't come, she peeked an eye open. Severus stood where he was, with an odd expression on his face.

"Fine," he said calmly. "I have given you a choice. Perhaps once more—_Crucio!_"

Sirius writhed on the ground again, his cries of agony filling the air. Bellitrix laughs rose above the group's.

"STUPEFY!"

Lily breathed a sigh of relief when she was released as the other Order members arrived. As chaos erupted around her, she fell to the ground and crawled towards Sirius, who was laying on the ground, whimpering.

"Sirius, get up!" Lily urged, dodging a large boot that came down right next to her head. Sparks continued to fly above them. "You have to get up!"

Sirius nodded weakly, and Lily placed his wand in his hand. "Disapparate if you can't fight," she said softly.

"No," he growled, suddenly energized. "Bellatrix is mine."

With surprising strength, he jumped up and took off running. Lily wildly looked around, curses flying past her head, always just missing her by inches, and saw a large figure trying to barge into Trelawney's house.

"STUPEFY!" she shouted from where she was, dodging a red beam of light as she did. Her spell blasted the side of the house, missing the figure by inches. She managed to singe the right side of his mask.

"Mulciber," she growled, and a frenzy came over her. She'd always had a feeling that he'd been behind Mary's death, and looking at his face, she _knew_ it was him.

"Evans," he laughed as she stormed towards him. He shouted something, but Lily deflected it with a strong shield charm. "How's MacDonald doing? Heard she had a nice stroll in the woods a while back..."

Lily felt such rage, so intense that she could barely see. She could only focus on the big, ugly brute directly in front of her. She said the first spell that came out of her mouth.

"CRUCIO!"

Mulciber let out cries of pain, worse than what Sirius had sounded like moments before. Lily knew she should stop, but she'd lost all control. This was only a fraction of the pain Mulciber had caused Mary—

Suddenly, all was quiet. Lily blinked and looked around her; she was standing in a room. In front of her stood James.

"Padfoot, what happened?" James practically shouted, taking one look at Lily and pulling her to his chest. "Why are you back? Why does Lily look like this? We were just here to check in and see if you'd gotten back yet..."

Lily felt herself shaking in James' grasp. From over his shoulder she could see Peter curiously watching her closely, worry etched onto his face.

"We were attacked. They came for Trelawney," Sirius gasped, anxiously pacing around his apartment.

"Is everyone alright?" Peter asked nervously.

"I don't know. We left in the middle of it...I had to get her away," Sirius said, thrusting his thumb towards Lily.

"I knew what I was doing!" Lily snapped, wrenching herself from James' arms.

"You used an _unforgivable curse_!" Sirius bellowed.

The room was silent. Lily could feel James staring at the back of her head.

"W-what?" James stuttered.

"She used the Cruciatus curse on Mulciber," Sirius said.

"He told me he was the one who—the woods—Mary..." Lily turned to James desperately. "_He did it to her_."

"You used an Unforgiveable curse?" James repeated, staring at Lily.

"C'mon Peter, we need to get back and help the others out," Sirius mumbled, looking between James and Lily.

"He _deserved _it," Lily said pleadingly.

"No one deserves that kind of pain," Sirius said, glaring at Lily before disapparating with Peter. Lily instantly felt guilty; she forgot that Sirius had just felt the pain of the curse moments before she used it.

"That's Dark magic, Lily," James said, keeping a distance from her. She tried to step towards him, but he stepped backwards.

"I know, James, I don't know what came over me!"

"That's what Voldemort _wants_ you to do!"

"I didn't mean to, I lost my head!"

"You couldn't have just Stupefied him and—"

"NO JAMES, I COULDN'T!"

Lily glared at him, breathing heavily.

"I wish I hadn't used it, but what would you have done if someone was in _your_ face mocking you about killing Sirius? Would you Stupefy them like you would any other person?"

James looked at her thoughtfully for a moment, and then nodded in understanding. Lily heaved a huge sigh of relief and fell into his arms again.

They jumped at loud "cracks" that filled the room. Sirius and Peter already returned.

"It's over," Sirius sighed. "They realized they were outnumbered and disapparated. A group is bringing Trelawney to Hogwarts right now and wiping her memory."

"But why?" Lily asked eagerly. Sirius cautiously looked to James before answering her, and seeming to receive some kind of confirmation that everything was now okay with Lily, he turned to her.

"From what I gather, Trelawney doesn't know she's being sought after by Voldemort. Dumbledore seems to think it's best kept a secret from everyone. She's safest at Hogwarts."

James and Lily nodded.

"Well, I think we should all be getting to bed," James said after a moment. "It's been a rough night. G'night Padfoot, Wormtail."

Lily nodded to them as well and turned to apparate with James, but Sirius caught her wrist at the last moment.

"Nothing good comes of dark magic, Lily. Isn't Voldemort enough proof of that?"

* * *

"No!" Lily shrieked, sprinting down her hallway. She flew into their spare bedroom and pressed herself against the wall, hiding from her pursuer.

"C'mon Lily, you _know_ you want me!" James shouted gleefully, ambling down the hall.

Lily couldn't help herself.

"Why would I want an arrogant toerag such as yourself?"

"Aha! Gotcha!"

Lily cried out in surprise as he threw the door to their spare room closed.

"The trick-or-treaters will be here soon," Lily begged, trying to slip out of the room. James trapped her against the wall between his arms.

"We have a few minutes," he insisted, smiling charmingly at her. She shook her head stubbornly, but he ignored her and began to plant kisses along her neck.

"James," she breathed, biting her lip and smiling.

"Mmm?"

"I think I hear the door!"

With that, she slipped from his grasp and sprinted down the hall towards the stairs.

"Don't you go down those stairs!" James threatened, pointing his wand at her.

Lily hesitated at the top of the stairs, eyeing his wand warily. She looked thoughtful for a moment, and then stuck her tongue out at James and tauntingly put one foot down the first step.

"_Suscito!_"

Lily suddenly felt a huge wave of arousal through her body that almost made her fall down the stairs.

"You're—sick," she breathed, trying to maintain control over herself under James' mocking grin. "Take—it—off!"

"But I love it when you're all hot and bothered," he pouted, stepping towards her. "Plus I forgot the counter-spell. I guess there's only one way to solve your problem..."

He trailed off suggestively, breathing onto Lily's shoulder in a way that gave her chills.

She turned towards him suddenly and violently caught him by the lips.

"I hate you," she breathed as she kissed all over his face.

"I can deal with it," he joked, smiling under her lips. He suddenly lifted her up and marched her to their bed room, dropping her onto the bed. She eagerly pulled him on top of her and arched her body against his.

"Mitigo," James mumbled just before tossing his wand aside.

"Why'd you suddenly remember the counter-spell?" Lily asked curiously as her frenzy mitigated. James continued kissing her neck.

"I want to prove that you don't need a spell to want me," he said, winking at her before pulling her robes down further so he could kiss her collarbone.

"How charming," she teased, pulling his face to hers.

"Well, now that I have you here, do you think you can find a few minutes of your time to—?"

"You're lucky you're cute," Lily said, trailing her fingers suggestively under his robes.

* * *

"Lily, calm down," James said, trying to pull his robes on. He readjusted when he realized that, in his hurry, he was trying to pull his head through the arm sleeve.

"I can't believe I'm so stupid!" Lily cried out from the closet, spreading her potion ingredients all over the floor. "I forgot I was out of my potion!"

"It'll be okay," James insisted. "Just because—"

"It _won't_ be okay!" Lily said pathetically, trying to hold back tears. "I need to go to Hogsmeade _now_ and see if their Apothecary is opened—"

"It wouldn't be the end of the world—"

Lily let out a cry as she stumbled upon a small vial.

"I think there's a little left in here," she said in relief, putting the tiny bottle to her lips and swallowing. She made a face. "Not the full dosage, but it should do."

"Would having my child _really_ be that horrible?" James asked with raised eyebrows as he helped her up from the floor.

Lily rolled her eyes and nudged him playfully.

"Right now I already have _one_ big baby to take care of."

James looked confused for a moment, and then her mockery dawned on him.

"Hey!" he pouted as she ruffled his hair. They walked down the hallway, teasing each other the whole way, until they stopped in the living room.

"How long have you guys been here?" Lily asked, blushing as she walked into the room to find Sirius, Remus, and Peter. "I told you that dinner wasn't going to be until 7..."

"We wanted to get to the candy before the little buggers did," Sirius said innocently, holding up a fist full of candy wrappers. "Didn't realize we'd be interrupting..."

Remus shook his head and grinned at his friend. He had bigger bags under his eyes than ever.

"Haven't seen you around in a while, Moony," James said kindly, pulling his friend into a hug. Sirius watched uneasily but didn't make any comment. Remus met Lily's eyes uneasily, as though nervous that she had told his secret. She winked reassuringly at him.

"You know, Dumbledore always has me out and about..."

"Ah, well I'm glad you could make it," James said sincerely. Lily could tell that there was a strain on their friendship that hadn't been there before, but she was proud of James for making an effort through all his doubts. She knew he would never really believe that his friend could be up to something evil. "We all need to get together to play quidditch one more time before the cold sets in."

Remus opened his mouth to reply, but they were interrupted by loud knocks on the door. Lily's eyes lit up at the sounds of kids laughing outside. She snatched the bowl of candy from Sirius and went to answer the door.

"Trick-or-treat!"


	32. Born to Those Who Have Thrice Defied Him

**Hi! sorry for taking forever to update...I had some nasty writer's block. I decided that I wouldn't let myself go to the college basketball game tonight if I didn't have this published...all I needed was a little motivation. There won't be a new one out until after new years (probably will have one out by Sunday). So, see you all next year ;) (that joke never gets old)**

**Read, Review, and Enjoy :)**

Lily chopped her carrots carefully, looking closely to ensure that they were even. She paused for a moment to dip a piece of pineapple into cheese she had melted a few moments earlier.

"Lily, what are you doing?"

Lily jumped, accidently flinging the cheddar-y slice of pineapple across the kitchen. It landed on the floor with a loud "smack."

"Making dinner," she said, trying to sound nonchalant.

James stood in the doorway with his mouth hanging open.

"What?" Lily said moodily, embarrassed that he'd caught her eating her unusual snack.

"Is there a reason that half of our kitchen is levitating?"

Lily mentally smacked herself. She'd been so absorbed in her carrots that she'd forgot to concentrate on _not_ making things around her levitate.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily said with a sniff, turning back to her carrots. Behind her, she heard fifty different types of crashes: a storm of sharp crashes that was probably the silverware, dull thuds that were probably the fruit and vegetables that had been laying on the counter, and one loud, satisfying crunch that was most definitely the kitchen table.

James stepped forward hesitantly. Lily determinedly focused on her carrots.

"And what, may I ask, is _this_?"

Lily glanced at him out of the corner of her eye; he was holding up her cheesy pineapple slice between his thumb and index finger, as though it was a particularly disgusting dead rat.

"Don't knock it until you try it," Lily said, trying to make her voice sound cheerful. Trying not to convey that she herself had no clue why cheese-covered-pineapple sounded so delicious to her.

"I don't think you should go out on your post tonight," James said sternly, standing in front of Lily so that she was forced to meet his eye.

"Why not?" she protested.

"You're obviously sick," he said, nodding to their disheveled kitchen. "You can't go levitating things while you're in hiding. That's a dead giveaway."

Lily snorted indignantly and went back to chopping her carrots with more ferocity.

"I just wasn't paying attention," she said. "I'm _fine_."

The truth was that she was _not _fine. For the past week, everywhere she went, any object that was not secured to the floor or wall hovered a few inches above ground. Only when she concentrated would they resume their normal, stationary positions. And she had been successfully hiding her new cheddar-and-pineapple craving from James easily enough; they were hardly home at the same time anymore.

"You can use magic for that and have a real face-to-face conversation with me," he said sullenly, nodding to her carrots.

"You know I'm not good at cooking with magic," she said, stubbornly keeping her eyes down.

"I am," he said, waving his wand. The knife was wrenched from Lily's hand and resumed her work, as though an invisible chef had replaced her.

"Now, what's wrong?" he asked, taking his index finger and lifting her chin.

"I don't know," she admitted, tears welling up in her eyes. She hated to admit that, even after all her Healing research, she couldn't diagnose herself.

James visibly softened at her tears.

"You're so beautiful," he said, cupping her cheek in his hand.

"That doesn't help me figure out why I'm levitating everything, does it?" she said mournfully.

Just as James opened his mouth to reply, they heard the fire roar to life in the living room; someone had just floo'd in.

"Lily? Lily?" Alice's voice rang through the house excitedly. Another roar of the fire indicated that they had two guests.

"In here," Lily called, quickly wiping the tears from her eyes. Alice sprinted into the kitchen, pulling Lily into a big hug. Frank walked in, grinning widely.

"Lily, I'm pregnant!"

Lily's mouth fell opened.

"Congratulations, Alice, Frank!" Lily exclaimed, honestly excited for her friends. James cried out and clapped Frank on the back.

"We just found out," Alice continued, speaking very quickly so that Lily could barely keep up. "I've just come from Emmeline's place, but she wasn't there, and I _had_ to tell someone. Oh, Lily, isn't it wonderful? Augusta doesn't even know yet."

Lily excitedly pulled her friend into another hug.

"I'm so happy for you, Alice," Lily said, her cheeks beginning to ache from smiling so widely.

"Thank you Lily," she said, her eyes sparkling. She stepped back from Lily and suddenly pointed to the kitchen counter. "Mmm, is that cheese and pineapples? Mind if I grab a bite?"

Lily's heart seemed to skip a beat as she watched her friend grab a pineapple slice and douse it in the bowl of melted cheese. She glanced over at James, who met her eye with a dumbfounded look.

"She has the craziest cravings," Frank laughed.

* * *

"James, you're being silly," Lily sighed affectionately. "You still won't be able to feel anything for a few months."

James ignored her and rested his head on her lower stomach.

"I don't care," he sighed. "He's _in_ there, right now!"

Lily laughed and stroked James' head.

"Why are you so sure it's a he?"

"I just know."

"I should really get up and check on the stew," Lily sighed, trying to move from under James with tremendous effort.

"It's fine," he insisted, pulling her back down to the bed. "Stop trying to keep me away from my son."

Lily laughed again, pushing James' face away from her stomach.

"Everyone's going to be here soon," Lily insisted. With a huge amount of self control, she wrenched herself away from James and headed towards the kitchen. In reality, she would have loved nothing more than to sit in bed all night and watch James talk to her stomach.

"Let me get everything," James insisted, jogging up from behind her to get to the kitchen first. "You go relax."

Lily rolled her eyes and pulled out her wand.

"I insist," she said, waving her wand. Eight sets of plates, utensils, and cups flew into their proper positions on the table.

"I wonder if we should've told Dumbledore first," Lily mused, heading over to the stew to taste it.

"Why would we need to?" James asked, pacing around the room excitedly and monitoring Lily's every move carefully.

"Well, with the Order and everything, it might change things."

"Of _course_ it's going to change things," James insisted. "You're not doing any more Order work, obviously."

Lily spun around.

"Obviously?"

"You have someone other than yourself to worry about now," he insisted, flipping his wand in the air and catching it repeatedly.

"I'm still perfectly capable of moving around and contributing," Lily said loudly, glaring at him. "I'll die of boredom just sitting in the house!"

"You can't honestly think—"

"Hello?"

Lily stuck her tongue out at James and rushed out of the kitchen before he could finish his thought. They would leave it up to Dumbledore to decide.

"Hullo Sirius," Lily said, pulling open the door for him.

"Mmm," he replied, stepping into the house and making a beeline for the kitchen.

"Don't you dare touch that stew!" Lily called after him, holding the door opened for Alice and Frank, who had just apparated.

Within half an hour, Lily, James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Emmeline, Alice, and Frank were all seated comfortably around the table, laughing loudly at a joke Sirius had just told. Lily bit into her bread and chewed on it thoughtfully as the chatter around her continued. She met James' eye, and he gave her a small, excited nod. She looked up to see Peter watching them very carefully. She and James must have been acting very subdued and strange all night, she realized. It was very hard to keep their secret.

"Ahem," James cleared his throat loudly. He took Lily's hand and they stood together at the table. "Lily and I have something to tell you all."

Everyone became silent in anticipation. Lily opened her mouth to finally spill the news—

"We're having a baby!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping up from the table.

"You _told_ him?" Lily cried, rounding on James.

"No—no...I swear!"

"He didn't," Sirius said, knocking back his chair and striding up to Lily. "But what else would you have to announce to us?"

Lily laughed as he pulled her into a hug. The room erupted into excited chatter, Alice's voice rising above the rest: "Oh! They're going to go to Hogwarts together!"

Lily soon couldn't even tell who was hugging her. All she was sure of was that she was surrounded by her friends, and Voldemort, for once, seemed to be a very distant problem.

* * *

"Hello, Albus," Lily said uncertainly, holding the door opened for him.

"Thank you, Mrs. Potter," he said. The serenity in his voice sounded forced, which worried Lily more than had he actually sounded distressed.

"Can I get you anything?" James asked eagerly. Lily was relieved that he had finally stopped nervously pacing the living room, running his hand through his hair.

"No, thank you," Dumbledore said. "Unfortunately I must be brief. I have many matters to attend to, but this is of the utmost importance."

Lily sank to the couch, keeping her eyes on Dumbledore. James sat next to her, placing a hand in her lap and stroking her slightly rounded stomach with his thumb.

"A new life should be cause to celebrate," Dumbledore began, "but unfortunately your letter caused me great distress. Your family is in grave danger."

"Why?" Lily and James blurted out in unison.

"What I am about to tell you must be repeated to _no one_."

He paused, waiting for Lily and James. They nodded, eager for him to continue.

"A prophecy has been made, possibly about your unborn child and Voldemort."

"What kind of prophecy?" James asked, turning pale. He cupped Lily's stomach with his hands, as though protecting their unborn child from Dumbledore's words.

"I will repeat it for you, but the details of the prophecy must _not_ be repeated to any other soul," Dumbledore said, looking pointedly at James.

"I won't tell Sirius," James said instantly.

"It is for your own safety," Dumbledore said sadly. "Voldemort has shown himself to know much more than I've expected This information is a breakthrough for the Order, and must be protected. The prophecy goes as follows: '_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not...and either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives_.'"

Lily tightened her grip on James' arm.

"He—he's going to kill Voldemort?" Lily stammered, wrapping her arms around her belly.

"If you are indeed having a son, and if you have, indeed, defied the Dark Lord three times, and, if your son is born at the end of July, then yes," Dumbledore sighed, "that is a distinct possibility."

"We _are_ having a boy," James breathed. "I don't know about defying him _three_ times, though..."

Lily felt relief wash over her.

"We _haven't_," she said joyously. She felt as though an enormous weight had lifted off of her chest.

"Think very hard," Dumbledore insisted. "Think of every battle, every action with the Order..."

Lily knitted her eyebrows, thinking hard. James merely shook his head, refusing to believe it.

"James," she said in a hushed voice. "Just last week..."

_Lily crept along the wall, straining her ears for any sound indicating that Dorcas Meadowes was still alive. _

_She flinched as horrible screams filled her ears._

_Lily breathed deeply, trying to control her shaking. Dumbledore had warned that Voldemort himself could be present, and a high, cruel laugh seemed to confirm that._

"_He's here," Lily heard James breathe from underneath his invisibility cloak. Ever since Lily's pregnancy, James had insisted on he and Sirius being present during any of her Order work._

_She nodded. Even in a situation as dire as this, James' voice still soothed her._

_Dorcas' screams had died down to low moans. Lily moved further forward, pressing herself to the wall, hoping that her disillusionment charm was working well._

"_We've got to do something," Sirius growled from the opposite wall. Lily could just barely make out his outline when she squinted. _

"_Yeah," James said eagerly. "I'm invisible, I could just—"_

"_No," Lily said sharply, or as sharply as she could in a whisper. "Don't be thick. Stick to the plan."_

_She was met with what she imagined was a stubborn silence._

"_Are you in the service of Albus Dumbledore?" a voice hissed, echoing down the hall._

"_No," Dorcas moaned faintly._

"_LIAR," Voldemort burst out in frustration. She had information he deeply desired, so he had to keep her alive. His temper seemed to be fighting with his rationality. His temper seemed on the brink of bursting, which meant they had to act quickly._

"_WHY WERE YOU AT THE ORPHANAGE IN LONDON?"_

_Dorcas burst out with a fresh round of screams. Lily was glad she was under a disillusionment charm. She didn't want James or Sirius to see her tears. She was on an Order mission; she was supposed to be strong. She vaguely wondered what the business with the orphanage was, and why Voldemort cared so much. This seemed to have been a private assignment that Dumbledore didn't want to share with the rest of the Order._

_Lily felt motion beside her. She turned and saw that James' head was poking out of the cloak, and he was mouthing something to Sirius._

"_What are you doing?" Lily asked worriedly. _

"_I love you, Lily," James said quickly, feeling for her and pulling her towards him. He kissed her, pressed his hand to her stomach, and pulled the cloak back over his head. _

_Lily stood in place, horrified, as she felt a rush of wind pass her. James had gone into the room full of Death Eaters._

"_No," she breathed, turning to run after him. She charged forward, but was pulled back._

"_No," Sirius growled. "You have another person to worry about."_

"_Let me go," she pleaded as shouts erupted in the room._

"_Avery's down!"_

"_My Lord—!"_

"_It's Potter's invisibility cloak!"_

_Lily pulled more violently from Sirius at those words. How did they know about that?_

_She edged in around the doorway, positioning herself in a dark corner where she would be unnoticed. The room was a scene of chaos. Dorcas, unconscious, was floating above a large table, surrounded by seats. Death Eaters were shooting off curses at random, trying to hit invisible James. At the head of the table sat Voldemort, looking disconcertedly serene amidst the havoc. Lily stopped breathing as she gazed upon his snake-like face. She had never seen him, had never even heard of what he looked like. Most who looked upon Lord Voldemort didn't survive to tell the tale._

"_It's Potter! It's Potter!" Severus screeched, shooting off curses more wildly and violently than any other. Lucius Malfoy stood in front of a pale, sharp faced woman, who was cowering against a wall and holding her stomach. Lily felt an odd connectedness as she gazed at the woman's terrified face. They had the same fears, just on different sides._

_Lily forced herself to look back to the scene. If anyone was sure to hit James (if he hadn't already been hit), it was Severus. She pointed her wand and hit him with a silent "Stupefy" spell. _

"_That's quite enough!" Malfoy shouted, watching his fellow death eater fall, assuming that it was a rogue spell from another. A few others lay scattered around the floor; surely the work of James. Lily wondered desperately where he was. Dorcras remained hovering above the table, separate from the chaos. Voldemort was still watching the scene around him shrewdly._

"_Lucius is right," Voldemort muttered. "Everyone, search the castle. I'll finish my interrogation alone."_

_Lily gulped as the death eaters filed out. She and James were alone in the room with Voldemort, no longer able to hide behind the chaos of the other death eaters._

_Voldemort stood up, pacing back and forth. He waved his wand, and Dorcras stirred with a moan._

"_Now," he hissed, rounding on her. "About the orphanage—ARRRGGG!"_

_Lily had aimed a spell at his turned back. Instead of hitting him, it ricocheted off his back and blasted a hole into the wall. He spun around quickly, taking his focus off Dorcras, and aimed a spell in Lily's direction. The suit of armor to her left exploded into a firey mess. She looked up, and saw from behind Voldemort, Dorcras' body move sharply. With a loud "Crack," it disapparated, with, Lily assumed, James. Voldemort spun around, crying out in anger, and Lily took this opportunity to disapparate herself. _

"—But that was just one time," James insisted, getting up and pacing again. "That was the _only_ time we've ever seen him."

"He doesn't have to be present to be defied," Dumbledore said quietly.

Lily nodded, thinking again.

"There was the motorcycle chase," James said quietly. "One of our first missions—"

Lily closed her eyes and leaned her head back. One of their first missions...before everything was so complicated. She thought back longingly to the summer after graduation, when she would get dressed up to go out with friends, instead of dressing up to spy—

"James," Lily said, shooting up from her seat. James turned to her sharply, looking worried.

"Knockturn Alley," she said shakily, the legitimacy of the Prophecy seeming to smack her senseless. "Over the summer, before the Order—"

"You mean when you ran into Snivellus," James said vehemently. He checked himself, looking apologetically towards Dumbledore, who seemed to have not noticed the outburst. Instead, he was pensively gazing into their fire.

"I-I—well, _they_ tried to get me to join, you know."

"And?" James said moodily. He hated bringing up that night.

"Well, I said _no_, didn't I?"

"Well of course you did."

"'_Albus Dumbledore is the greatest wizard who ever lived, and you'd do well to keep that in mind_,'" she quoted herself. "I'd call that defiance, wouldn't you, Albus?"

"I do think, Mrs. Potter, that your flattery of me may be considered defiance of Voldemort."

"What do we do now?" James asked helplessly.


	33. Letter from Mum and Dad

**I'M SO SORRY it took this long to update! I've barely been home over winter break. I'm just going to publish this small chapter I already have written to give you something...a longer chapter will be coming up ASAP. The one good thing about my absence is that I've had a lot of planning time for my next story. I have a detailed outline of the plot already...It's going to be even better than this one :)**

**ENJOY, and I'm sorry again!**

"_Dear Lily-Flower,_

_Merry Christmas! I hope you and James find time between work to celebrate. Your father and I are having Vernon and Petunia over for dinner tonight. If you can, please stop by. We haven't seen you in so long. Plus, we want to see how your belly is coming along. We've enclosed one of my fruit cakes...I hope the poor owl can make it the whole way._

_Send our love to James_

_Mum and dad"_

Lily read and re-read the letter, holding her hand to her rounded stomach as she did so. She gazed at her mother's handwriting, sadly tracing the tips of her fingers across the elegant loops of the m's, h's, and p's. She missed her mother dearly.

"Lily, Peter and Sirius will be arriving soon."

Lily looked up quickly and tried to shove the letter under her pillow, but James stepped into the room a moment too soon.

"What's that?" he asked curiously, leaning over her trying to glimpse the letter.

"Just a letter from my mum and dad," Lily said softly.

James' eyebrows knitted together.

"What did they have to say?"

"Just that they miss us," she sighed.

James sat next to Lily on the bed and put his arm around her comfortingly.

"My offer still stands—"

"No," Lily said, more violently than she intended. She checked herself and continued evenly, "We don't know who's watching us. I don't want to risk it."

"It'll just be me, Peter, and Sirius that'll know—"

"I can't put them in that kind of danger," Lily insisted, getting up in attempt to end the conversation that they'd already had thousands of times before. "If it were up to me, I'd have gone through with the plan ages ago."

"But you promised me you wouldn't," James said slowly, giving her a hard look. "Little Edmund deserves to meet his grandparents just once—"

Lily glared at him, although there was a smile creeping onto her face.

"I thought the agreement was that _I_ get to choose the name in exchange for putting my parents in mortal danger."

"Stop being so overdramatic," James said flippantly, kissing his wife on the cheek.

"Little _Harry_ will meet his grandparents, don't worry, James."

They headed towards the kitchen, and entered just in time to see Sirius stepping out of the fireplace.

"Lily!" he said enthusiastically, brushing by James and hugging her first instead. "How're you doing?"

"Fine," Lily laughed, seeing the look on James' face. Sirius continued to ignore him and kneeled down in front of Lily, so that his face was even with her stomach.

"And how's little Sirius?" he cooed to her bump.

"Little Sirius?" Lily asked in exasperation, meeting James' eye. They laughed, but Sirius looked indignant.

"Well, what else would you name him?"

Lily continued to laugh when Sirius showed himself to be completely serious. She waved to Peter as he stumbled out of the fireplace.

"He's going to be little _Harry_," Lily corrected as Sirius stood up.

"Fine," Sirius huffed, throwing himself down in a chair in a fake fit. "He can be Harry _Sirius_ Potter."

"Absolutely not!" James protested.

"He already gets _your_ surname!"

"_You_ didn't put forth the tremendous effort of making him!"

Everyone burst out laughing, and Sirius turned to Lily with a devilish grin on his face.

"Wow, Evans, you must be pretty _terrible_ if it was such a 'tremendous effort...'"

"I think Peter and I will enjoy this holiday ham to ourselves," Lily teased, winking at Peter before she bent down to remove the pink ham from the oven.

He grinned nervously back, his eyes darting between James and Sirius, as though they would attack him for some impertinence. He flinched as James threw his hand back, and became visibly relieved when it turned out just to be a friendly clap on the shoulder.

"Twitchy little thing, aren't you?" Sirius commented, turning his attention to Lily and the ham across the room.

She placed it down on the table, and whipped out her wand to point threateningly at Sirius.

"Don't think about touching it."

"Why not?" Sirius whined. "We're all here."

"Remus should be along soon," Lily said, heading back to the oven and popping a large slab of steak. She checked the clock to ensure it didn't stay in too long; Remus liked his meat very underdone.

"Oh," Sirius said quietly, glancing over towards James. James, however, decidedly ignored him, and instead focused his attention on weaving his wand through his fingers with intricate little motions.

"Haven't seen him around in a while," Peter commented. "Don't suppose any of you know what Dumbledore has him up to?"

James and Sirius quietly shook their heads, and Lily busied herself with the green beans, pretending not to have heard the question.

A sudden crackling from the fire broke the silence, and Remus stepped out of the fireplace, looking more disheveled than ever.

"Remus!" James said happily, pulling his friend into a hug. Lily put down the beans and went to greet him as well. Any of James' reservations around him seemed to have disappeared when he saw the sorry state of his friend. Even Sirius pulled him into a hug.

"Merry Christmas," Remus said through a wide yawn. "Is that steak I smell?"

"I got it just for you," Lily said, hurrying over to the oven to take it out.

"Is it just us, then?" Remus asked, noticing the absence of their other friends.

"Augusta won't let Alice out of her sight," Lily explained. "Emmeline went to dinner with the Longbottoms to help Alice keep her sanity..."

Everyone laughed at this. They all knew very well that Augusta was a formidable witch, and even Frank was too scared to stand up to her.

"How're her and Frank coming along?" Peter asked as they all sat down at the table.

"Really good," Lily said earnestly as she began to carve the ham. She tried to ignore Sirius as he practically slobbered on her hand. "They're having a boy as well...Neville I think they said. Isn't it wonderful?"


	34. Born as the Seventh Month Dies

**Here's a nice, long chapter to atone for the previous short one. I believe the title says it all :)**

_Lily walked down the hallway, straining her ears for any sound. Peter had promised her that James would be in the room at the end of the hall, just behind the door. She hoped he was alright...she felt like she hadn't seen him in months. _

_As she approached the door, her feeling of trepidation increased. But she wanted to se James so badly..._

_Before she even reached the door, it flew open, and she was submerged in darkness. Through it, she heard a familiar, unmistakeable high, cold, laugh. She tried to scream, but her voice wouldn't come out. It was no matter—even if she could scream, she was doomed. Harry began to violently kick in her stomach as she braced herself for the dreaded green flash of light she had heard about so many times..._

_But instead, a voice rang out in the darkness—she couldn't quite make out what it had shouted. It sounded close, as though the person was standing right in front of her. She looked around, and couldn't see James anywhere, but it was definitely his voice. It couldn't have been Harry..._

_The darkness remained, but there was a sudden anguished cry. It moaned like a wounded animal. A terrible, dying beast—_

"LILY! LILY!"

Lily shot up from her pillow mid scream. She cut herself off, coming to her senses, and shakily felt for James in the darkness.

"James?" she said frantically, desperately grasping for him, needing reassurance that he was still with her and not at the end of the terrible hallway.

"I'm here," he said, pulling her to his chest. She felt for his face, and once she located his lips, she kissed him as though she hadn't seen him in years. She didn't feel him smile beneath her lips, as he used to do when they kissed, but met her with just as much urgency. She sighed and pulled away after a moment, impatiently waiting for her eyes to adjust to the early morning darkness so that she could meet his eyes.

"Did you have that dream again?" he asked sympathetically, laying down and pulling her head to his chest. He stroked her hair as she rested a hand on her belly. It was now March, and her stomach eclipsed most of her feet. When she looked down from standing up, she could only see her toes poking out, and it was only a matter of time before those would disappear, too.

"It was different this time," Lily said softly, stroking the spot on her stomach where she imagined Harry's head would be. Every few moments, she would feel a soft thud against the inside of her stomach. She reached for James' hand and placed it under hers; she knew how much he loved to feel Harry move around.

"There he is," James said, ignoring Lily for a moment, enthralled with his son. They were quiet, and then James continued. "What happened this time?"

"It was just a dream," Lily said, soothed by the small circles James was drawing on her stomach with his fingers. Now that she knew she was safe in bed, she felt silly repeating it. It was just a stupid nightmare, but James always insisted that she recount it for him, as though it held some significant meaning.

"It was like last time," she continued. "Peter told me you were at the end of the hall. I knew something was off, but I wanted to see you so badly. When I got to the door, _he_ was there, waiting for me, with his laugh"—James squeezed her arm—"and everything went black, like in all my other dreams. This time, though, he didn't get me. A voice said something, and I think he started dying. I think it was Harry, from my stomach."

James was quiet after she finished reciting what had happened. The sun began to peek out from the horizon, casting their room in a soft pink-orange color. Lily felt at peace, and wished she hadn't ruined the morning with her dream. She should have lied, made it something less serious, so James wouldn't worry. But he was sympathetic; she was sure that he saw Voldemort in his dreams, too.

"It's just a silly dream, I suppose," James finally said. Lily glanced at him, and despite his words, he looked unconvinced. "How about sausage for breakfast?"

"Sure," Lily said, breaking out in a smile. She kissed his shoulder as he clamored out of bed to get her breakfast.

* * *

Lily bent over the newest issue of the _Healer's Herald_ that had arrived moments before by owl post. Her mother's most recent letter lay forgotten on the kitchen counter. Lily had seen the cover of the magazine and forgot everything else. It read in large, flashing letters: "MEET DAMOCLES BELBY, THE CREATOR OF THE CURE FOR LYCANTHROPY."

This caught Lily's attention for two reasons: firstly, Lily knew Damocles from the Slug Club back in Hogwarts. Secondly, this could mean a whole new life for Remus. He could be cured of his condition, and he wouldn't have to go on the dreadful, taxing missions that Dumbledore requested of him.

Lily was about halfway through the article when her excitement began to wane. The headline had been very misleading; the potion was not a cure. It didn't stop the transformation, but only mitigated the effects. Remus would have full control, but his body would still be that of a werewolf. Still, it was better than the total loss of control he experienced once a month.

She skipped to the end of the article and skimmed the potion instructions. They were extremely complicated, and the effects could be horrible if brewed wrong. Lily momentarily thought of Severus, and his useful potion shortcuts at Hogwarts. She quickly banished the thought from her mind, blushing at the memory of her friendship with the deatheater.

Lily heaved herself up from the couch and went to grab a piece of parchment to write Remus. Although this was sure to be all over the news, she wasn't sure if Remus was keeping up much with wizard going-ons now-a-days. Just as she found a quill after searching for a few minutes, there was a loud bang on her door.

Without hesitation, Lily grabbed her wand, pressed herself flat against the wall, and peered around the corner. James wasn't due back for another few hours, and she wasn't expecting any visitors. Alice or Emmeline would have come via Floo.

"It is I, Alastor Moody, of the Order of the Phoenix. Now open the damned door, girl!"

Lily heaved a sigh of relief, but it was short-lived. An unexpected visit from Moody usually didn't mean good news. She rushed to the door and threw it opened to find a small crowd of people.

"Dorcas' been killed," Moody grunted, pushing past Lily into her house. She realized, with horror, that a body was draped over his shoulders. She stood aside to allow Frank, Sturgis, Dedalus, Sirius, and James to file in, each with a body of their own.

"It's the middle of the afternoon!" Lily cried out in shock. "Surely he wouldn't—"

"I assure you, Mrs. Potter, he would," Moody grunted, affixing his blue eye on her. It was rendered creepier than usual by the blood from the body that dripped down his face.

"Who are these people?" Lily asked, gazing helplessly at the six bodies being draped around her living room.

"Muggles," Moody grunted, taking position next to Lily and surveying the bodies. "Got caught in the crossfire. Can't bring 'em to St. Mungo's...too many questions. Potter and Black say you're an aspiring Healer, though."

"I—I'm not qualified at all," Lily protested. Sure she had taken care of the Bones', but that was a simple blood-replenishing potion. She was just keeping them alive so that Dumbledore could do the actual saving...

"Now's not the time to be weak," Moody growled, giving Lily a small push towards the bodies. She surveyed them, and saw that there were two younger kids—probably teenagers—and the other four were adults.

"Were they cursed?" Lily asked, stepping forward to get a better look. Two of the adults were bleeding profusely, but the others looked like they'd just been bumped around.

"We don't think so," Dedalus squeaked. "Just banged up."

"Dorcas held her own," Moody said with a nod. "Dueled with you-know-who himself."

Lily gasped. "_He_ was there?"

The others nodded grimly.

"She probably knew something important," Sturgis said. "He needed to make sure the job got done right. Plus she'd escaped from him once, right under his nose. That probably didn't sit too well with him. Needed to prove that he could get her once and for all."

Lily was silent, lost in thought. Could Dorcas have figured out the secret to the orphanage that Voldemort had seemed so angry about a few months ago?

"What can we do for you?" Sirius asked, motioning to the bodies. Lily snapped back to reality. She'd have time to ponder the details later.

"I need my potion ingredients and book from upstairs," she instructed briskly, nodding to James. "Someone go find me more pillows to keep them comfortable. Sturgis, stay here with me to make sure they don't wake up. It'll be easier if they're not awake and worried."

Everyone nodded and went to do the job that Lily had assigned. She knelt down by the person who looked in the worst shape. It was an older woman, perhaps in her 50's, and her leg was set at an odd angle beneath her skirt. Lily took a deep, shuddering breath, and grabbed her wand.

* * *

"You were brilliant, Lily," James said for the millionth time that night. Moody had just left with the final person, Lily having wiped the muggle's memory. She had become quite adept at memory charms recently.

"It was mostly luck," Lily mumbled modestly, although she couldn't deny that her months of Healer self-study had certainly helped. Most of the injuries were simple enough—a few cracked bones here and there—but one of the muggles had hit his head and cracked the skull, which required a bit of skill on Lily's part to fix.

"It was not," James insisted, rubbing her feet more ferociously. Lily groaned. She never felt the effects of the extra baby weight until the end of the day when she finally sat down. Her feet were throbbing, and she never took James and his foot-rubbing skills for granted.

"Well, I'm glad I finally got to do something useful for the Order," Lily sighed, sipping on her warm tea.

"This won't be a regular thing," James warned. "I don't think you should be so stressed out—"

"It would be a nice distraction," Lily interrupted, glaring at James, "for when I'm sitting alone at home, worrying about _you_ out on missions."

"What's this?" James asked, quickly changing the subject. He held up Lily's magazine that she'd been reading before the events of the afternoon.

"Oh!" Lily exclaimed, reaching for the parchment and quill she'd left out. "I forgot to owl Remus. James, they have a potion to help werewolves!"

James leaned back and relaxed against the couch as he listened to his wife chatter away, using Healing terminology he was ignorant of. He occasionally nodded and mumbled to show signs of paying attention. Instead, however, he was lost in his own thoughts.

He was thankful for the diversion; he'd been worrying ever since he came home that Lily would ask details about Dorcas. Snape had been there, and he was the cause of all the muggle injuries. As much as James hated Snivellus, he knew that Lily still had a soft spot for him from their childhood friendship. He could see the hurt behind her eyes whenever Snape was brought up.

"_What's it look like, boys?" Moody grunted, his blue eye swiveling madly._

"_She's holding out," Sirius whispered urgently, "but not for long. I can't see how we can get in to help her."_

"_Who's out there?"_

"_Rosier, Bellatrix, Nott, Snape..."_

_James nearly broke his wand in half out of frustration. He'd saved Dorcas once, but it looked like there was little hope this time._

"_We've got to make a move!" he burst out._

_Everyone grumbled in assent. No one wanted to sit back and watch a fellow Order member die._

"_There's six of us and four of them," Moody grunted. "Bellatrix'll need two people, and two on Nott. I'll take Rosier myself."_

"_I've got Snape," James said venomously. He met Sirius' eye, who nodded shortly. Sirius definitely wanted to be one of the two on his cousin._

"_Alright, split up," Moody grunted._

_Sirius clapped James on the back and they went their separate ways. James snuck around the back of the house, one of many in the neighborhood of Upper Flagley. He peeked around the corner and saw Snape a few feet away. A small rage built up inside James as he watch Snape survey the area with a cool arrogance, his black eyes sweeping around the area as the sounds of Voldemort and Dorcas dueling in the background echoed. _

_James was tempted by a boyish impulse to use the "levicorpus" spell from their Hogwarts days, to remind Snape of his humiliating day by the lake fifth year, but it would be a stupid move. If Snape still had his wand, he could shoot off curses. James decided on a simple stupefy spell—_

"_CRUCIO!"_

_Snape had suddenly spun around and shot a curse at James. It missed him by an inch, instead blasting a garden gnome into oblivion._

"_POTTER!" Snape screeched, running towards James. James stepped out and flicked his wand, but his spell was deflected. _

"_Hullo, Snivellus," James said viciously, expertly deflecting curse after curse, waiting for a good moment to strike._

_They stood in battle for a few moments, James on the defensive while Snape tired himself out with curses. James paid no attention to his surroundings as they moved around, instead focusing on keeping himself alive._

"_AVADA KED—"_

_James ducked behind a statue, suddenly realizing that they were in the middle of the town square. In the near distance, he heard Bellatrix's unmistakable cackle, and Sirius' cry of rage. _

_James poked his wand from behind the statue and threw curses back out to Snape, keeping him at bay. Snape was fighting to kill._

_Close by, James heard a woman scream and shouts. He peered around the statue and watched, with horror, as Snape flicked his wand towards the group of muggles that had gotten caught in the crossfire. They flew back and crashed into trees, benches, and buildings. _

_With a cry of rage, James threw himself out from behind the statue and ran towards Snape, brandishing his wand. He finally managed to stun Snape, although it had just barely hit him, so the effects wouldn't last long. James took this opportunity to glance around to see where his companions were. _

_Voldemort was gone, and it seemed that his followers had left as well. Sirius and Sturgis were limping towards him, and Dedalus was right behind them. Moody was nowhere in sight—_

"_POTTER! WATCH YOUR BACK!"_

_James spun around and saw Snape getting to his feet, grappling for his wand. Snape, however, noticed that he was outnumbered, and disapparated, leaving the members of the Order alone in the midst of the chaotic scene._

"_Never turn your back on your enemies, Potter!" Moody growled. "Dorcas is dead, there's nothing else we can do. Ministry'll be here soon, grab the muggles..."_

"—James?"

"Yes?" he asked quickly, realizing that Lily had stopped talking.

"Are you alright?" she asked, looking at him worriedly with her huge, green eyes. James softened, forgetting everything about Snivellus.

"I'm fine," he said, forcing a small grin. "Let's go to bed."

* * *

Lily groaned. She was bored senseless. All she wanted to do was get in the bath, but that required heaving herself up the stairs, and so she remained on the couch. She desperately wished she was more fit to travel so that she could visit Alice. Yesterday, Lily and James had received a quickly scribbled note from Frank: "_On July 30, 1980 at 3:15pm, Neville Longbottom entered the world. Mother and son are doing great. Pictures to come."_

Lily glanced over the note again. Today was July 31, the last day in the seventh month of the year. Perhaps, she thought hopefully, Harry would be born in August. It was already later in the evening, just a few more hours would do it. That would mean that the prophecy _didn't_ apply to him, and they would be safe. She fleetingly thought of Alice, and if Dumbledore had approached her family about the prophecy as well. Neville certainly fit the description, and it was more than possible that Alice and Frank had defied Voldemort three times.

"Come here, Cliodna," she cooed, throwing aside the note and pushing the morbid thoughts of the prophecy out of her mind. The cat slowly approached Lily, its nose twitching curiously. Lily pointed her wand at it and mumbled "_Oblivate_."

A dazed look came over the kitty and it stumbled into the coffee table. Lily giggled, although she felt guilty for using her pet to help perfect her memory charm. But she_ had _to make sure it was perfect, otherwise there would be serious consequences later on. People's lives depended on it.

She pointed her wand at the dazed feline again, and muttered "_Confundo_." The cat now looked attentively at Lily, wagging its tail in quick succession. It nuzzled her hand and licked her. Lily had successfully confunded it so that it believed it was a dog.

"Poor Cliodna," Lily cooed, scratching behind her ear. She waved her wand again to lift the memory charm, and Clio stopped mid-nuzzle, gave Lily a petrified look, and pounced away. These days, Clio knew to avoid Lily and her wand. The constant memory charms seemed to be taking their toll, too. The other day, Lily watched as Cliodna repeatedly walked head-first into the wall, as though she were trying to get to an imaginary Platform 9 3/4.

Lily was starving. She finally decided to heave herself up and head towards the kitchen. It was now July, and she hadn't seen her toes in months. Now that Harry was nearly fully grown, she had to eat more and more to stay satiated.

She reached over the kitchen counter, careful to avoid the empty wine bottle sitting out. It was her emergency portkey, since she couldn't apparate while so pregnant.

"_It's hard enough to apparate yourself, what happens if you leave the baby behind?"_ Mrs. Longbottom had lectured her once while she was visiting Frank and Alice. As much as Lily hated to admit it, Augusta was right. People spliced themselves all the time...she couldn't take that risk with Harry. So in case of an emergency, James had set a portkey up that would take Lily straight to Sirius' apartment.

Lily reached up and grasped for a plate in one of the cabinets for the eggs she was about to make. It was difficult for her to maneuver her belly now-a-days. She cursed herself for forgetting her wand in the other room; this could be easily solved with a simple summoning spell. Lily reached further one more time, and suddenly felt as though she had popped. Warm liquid spread through her robes.

She cried out in shock and looked down as she heard a small _patpatpat _ on the wood floors. A clear, watery liquid was coming from her. Then she realized: she hadn't popped, _Harry was here_.

"James," Lily breathed, waddling as quickly as possible to get her wand. He had been home _constantly_ the past few weeks, refusing to leave her side, and of course the _one_ time she insists that he go out to visit Sirius...

Lily quickly cast her patronus to call James back home, and then impatiently paced around the house. Within moments, he came crashing through the fireplace, Sirius at his heels.

"Lily!" he cried out, gazing at her frantically. "Are you alright? Can I get you anything? _Is he already here_?"

Lily met eyes with Sirius and they laughed.

"Clearly not," she said, patting her enlarged belly. "Someone needs to get Madam Pomfrey."

Sirius nodded, and with a wink, he was off. Lily plopped herself down on the couch to wait; her back had started cramping. James, however, frantically paced around.

"You know what this means," Lily said softly, unable to confine her worry.

James stopped and met her eyes.

"Of course I do."

"It could apply to the Longbottoms as well."

"It could," he said thoughtfully.

"Plus, how would they know that we defied him _three_ times?" Lily asked enthusiastically.

"How would they even know you're pregnant?" James added. "That's the whole reason we're not going to St. Mungos!"

Lily nodded, smiling at James. They'd had this conversation a million times over the past month, and every time it soothed Lily's fears. She and Harry had James Potter to protect them. Of course they would be fine.

The fire roared to life, and the nurse from Hogwarts stepped out, accompanied by Sirius.

"_Two_ births in two days!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed, although she was smiling. "I hadn't delivered a baby in _years_ before you and Mrs. Longbottom. Come now, dear, get comfortable, you're in for a rough few hours."

Lily met James' eye as he helped her up the stairs towards their bed. Madam Pomfrey had delivered Neville, too. That meant that Dumbledore suspected the Longbottoms were also in danger.


	35. Obliviate

**So I'm going to try really hard to finish this by the end of next week (Maybe make it an even 40 chapters?). I really want to start my next story! **

**Also, I'm glad you guys didn't come at my throat for the memory charm on the cat thing last chapter...I wasn't sure, but I could see why it could be borderline animal abuse lol.**

**Finally, not to toot my own horn or anything, but I love the last scene in this chapter :) **

**Enjoyyy & thank you guys so much for the reviews!  
**

Lily remembered that she had blanched at the sight of number four, Private Drive.

_Standing on the doorstep, she suddenly wished that she had taken up Sirius' offer to accompany her. Sure, he would have flirted shamelessly with Petunia, gotten a rise out of Vernon (Lily heard he could be quite quick to temper), and the whole thing would have ended in disaster. But at least she'd have a familiar face beside her. James was out of the question. Lily needed Petunia on her side, and James' unruly hair would almost certainly have inhibited that. _

_Lily took a deep breath and pushed the doorbell. She listened, and as the electrical chimes faded, she heard pounding footsteps. She shivered. Not due to the January cold, but the anticipation._

"_Lily, so good to see you," Vernon greeted, throwing open the door. Lily's returning smile felt just as forced as the smile plastered onto Vernon's ruddy face looked. _

"_Good to see you too, Vernon," Lily said sweetly, pulling into an awkward hug. Over his shoulder, she saw Petunia's boney face peering from around the corner._

"_Come in, come in," he insisted, sweeping his hand impressively around his house. Lily had a sneaking suspicion that he had been eagerly awaiting her arrival, eager to show off their brand new house with their brand new expensive furniture. Lily knew he worked in some high up position in some business—selling drills perhaps?—and she also knew that he was very proud of his job. _

"_Hello, Petunia," Lily greeted. Petunia pursed her lips, but embraced Lily none the less. Lily resisted the urge to glare; her sister seemed to be going out of her way to ensure Lily felt as uncomfortable as she did._

"_Can I get you tea?" Petunia said, barely intelligible through her tight lips._

"_That would be lovely," Lily said. Perhaps she would feel better with something to fiddle with in her hands._

"_I see you're coming along," Vernon said, motioning to Lily's baby bump. "Petunia's due in June...can't wait to have a strapping young lad!"_

_Lily nodded politely, and noticed, when Petunia reentered with the tea, that her sister did indeed have a rounded belly. No one had told Lily that her sister was pregnant as well. Petunia and her hardly kept in contact—Lily not being bothered with the inefficient muggle post, and her sister's refusal to deal with the "horrid creatures" known as owls—but she was still in contact with her parents. Perhaps it was their way of expressing their disapproval of her long absence. She hadn't seen them in nearly a year._

"_I didn't know you were expecting, Tune—Petunia," Lily said softly. _

_Petunia sniffed and nodded stiffly._

"_Slipped my mind, I suppose."_

_Vernon chuckled, thinking it a joke, oblivious to the animosity of the statement. Or perhaps he did understand the meanness behind it; perhaps he thought Lily a freak, too. _

"_Your house is very lovely," Lily commented, looking around to give the impression that she was impressed. She knew that she had to lighten the mood, get them on her side, before she broke the horrible news. Petunia looked smug, and Vernon nodded enthusiastically. He launched into an explanation of the price of this, and the value of that. Lily nodded along, worrying about the best time to bring it up. There really was no _good_ time._

"_To what do we owe this visit?" Petunia said after allowing Vernon to ramble on for a few minutes. She sensed that her sister had something unpleasant to say._

_Lily looked down to her lap, trying to compose herself. She placed a hand on Harry; this always comforted her. She looked up into Petunia's eyes, and launched into her story._

Now, Lily stood on the doorstep of her old home. This time, she had Harry snuggled to her chest and James by her side, but she felt a sense of fear worse than when she stood on Petunia's hostile doorstep alone.

James squeezed her arm and attempted a smile. She tried one back, but failed. She was sure that he was sympathetic towards her, but he couldn't _really _know how she felt.

"Lily!" Mrs. Evans shrieked, throwing opened the door and launching herself onto her daughter. She squeezed her tightly—or as tightly as she could without squishing Harry.

"And my grandson!" she exclaimed, wrenching Harry from Lily's arms. Lily smiled, looking away from the scene for a moment to force the tears back into her eyes.

"Hello, Lily."

Lily whipped her head back around at her dad's voice. He stood reluctantly behind Mrs. Evans, surveying his daughter.

"Daddy," Lily said, throwing herself into his arms. His motions were stiff, almost unwelcoming. He certainly was less forgiving than her mother for Lily's long absence from the family. After a moment, he seemed to soften a little under her embrace.

Lily focused her attention back to her mother, who was chattering away to James as she held Harry close to her chest.

"—much smaller than Dudley. You're not feeding him enough! Petunia says that she's sucked dry before he's even half full—"

"Alright, mum," Lily said, meeting James' eye and laughing awkwardly. She was sure James didn't want to hear about Petunia's breast feeding habits, and she had a feeling Petunia wouldn't want him to hear.

"I'm just so glad you're finally _here_," Mrs. Evans said, handing Harry off to Mr. Evans and pulling Lily into a proper hug. Lily watched as her father observed Harry with a blank expression. Harry suddenly giggled, reaching his hand up and grabbing ahold of Mr. Evans' nose. The old man broke out into a rare smile, snuggling closer to Harry.

Lily didn't think she could stand it any longer. It had to happen now, or else she'd give herself away. Everyone was in position; it was Lily's call.

"Oh no, James, I forgot to change him before we left!" Lily exclaimed, meeting James' eye meaningfully.

"No worries," James said smoothly. "I'll just pop back over to the house with him and do it. We'll be back in no time."

"Oh, _do_ hurry back," Mrs. Evans said, worry etched into her brow. She kissed Harry on the forehead, as though she would never see him again. Lily's mother had always been intuitive.

"I brought some good wine," Lily said as James walked out the door. "Why don't I pop open the bottle?"

"That sounds lovely," Mrs. Evans said, hurrying to the kitchen to get wine glasses. Lily fiddled with opening the wine. Her shaky hands caused the cork to break in the bottle. Her father laughed at her, teasing her, and finally taking the bottle himself and getting the rest of the cork out. Lily's heart broke as she watched her father pour the end of life as he knew it into his own glass.

"To Harry," her father said, raising his glass. Mrs. Evans clinked hers with his, and Lily leaned forward to kiss each on the cheek.

"To Harry," she repeated quietly. She brought her own glass to her lips, not sipping, and keeping her eyes down. She couldn't bear to watch.

"What's in this stuff?" her father asked groggily, falling back to the couch as Mrs. Evans yawned widely.

"It's strong," Lily managed to choke out apologetically. Fortunately, by the time her tears started falling, her parents were in a deep sleep. The last they would know of their daughter was her gentle kisses.

Lily wasted no time. She furiously wiped the tears from her cheek, reminding herself that this was absolutely necessary. It was this, or have her parents die a horrible death at the hand of deatheaters. She retrieved her wand from her sleeve and took a deep breath, pointing it towards her mother's head. Countless Order members had offered to do this for her, but she obstinately insisted that she needed to do it herself.

"Obliviate," she said in a strong, clear voice. Although Mrs. Evans was asleep, Lily felt sure the spell had worked.

"Obliviate," she repeated, aiming at her father. Again, she was assured of its success.

She then hurried to the backyard and looked around. She noticed a cat perched on the fence, staring at Lily with large, wondering eyes.

"It's time," she whispered into the warm August night. The cat jumped down and eventually revealed itself to be Minerva McGonagall. Out of their posts in the bushes, Emmeline, Mad-Eye, and various other Order members appeared.

"You did good, Lily," Emmeline whispered, pulling her into a hug.

"You can cry about it later," Mad-Eye growled, pulling Emmeline after him into the house. "We don't have time."

The Order members would see them off. Emmeline would pose as their daughter, leading them to a far-off country that no one but her would know. When she returned, Lily would wipe her memory of it, so that no one would know where the Evans' were.

Lily followed them into the house and ran up to her parents' room. Once there, she went into her mother's jewelry box and grabbed the goblin-made necklace she, Sirius, and James had given her as a gift. She then searched her father's bookshelf, and grabbed the history books that she had given him one Christmas. She knew they were his favorite books, but he wouldn't remember them. He wouldn't feel their loss.

* * *

Lily was miserable. She lay in bed and remembered Petunia's scathing words from her first and only visit to number four Private Drive.

"_I always knew your freak ways would ruin my life!"_ she'd shrieked. _"Why don't you just leave us alone? Duddy will never know his grandparents! FREAK FREAK FREAK!"_

Lily knew she deserved every one of those unkind words. She even wished she could go back, so that Petunia could throw another tea accessory at her. This time, Lily wouldn't step out of the way. She'd ruined her sister's life.

"Lily?" James asked cautiously. He had taken Harry to Sirius' for the day, so that she could mourn the loss of her parents.

"Yes?" she asked, trying to make her voice sound clear, as though she _hadn't_ been crying for hours.

"Harry needs his lunch."

Lily nodded, her sadness ebbing away. She still had Harry.

"Bring my little wizard over here," Lily cooed, beckoning James into the room. She took Harry from him and snuggled him to her face. He giggled and commenced his habit of entangling his tiny fist into her tresses.

"Are you hungry?" Lily continued to coo, giving her finger to Harry's unoccupied fist. He smiled up at her with big, green eyes and squealed. Lily smiled, forgetting about her own parents.

"He looks just like you," James commented, looking fondly down at his son.

Lily shook her head. "He might have my eyes, but that _hair_. He's not even six months yet!"

James laughed and ruffled his son's already unruly black hair.

"I have to warn you of something," James said, turning to Lily as Harry latched on for his afternoon meal.

"Hmm?"

"His godfather has been calling him Sirius, in hopes it'll catch on."

Lily laughed, jostling Harry as she did. The baby grunted in discontent, and went back to his meal.

"Tell him that he'll be cursed into next century if Harry thinks his name is Sirius," Lily scolded good-naturedly.

"I'm not getting between you two," James said, throwing up his hands in defense. "You're going to have to take that up with him."

Lily rolled her eyes, and just as she was about to make a comment, a voice rang through their house.

"Hello?"

"I think it's Remus!" Lily said excitedly, throwing her legs over the bed.

"Yeah, I invited him," James said. "S'a shame that he hasn't even met Harry yet."

"I'm sure he's been very busy...there was a full moon last week," Lily said firmly.

Lily adjusted Harry, so that he was over his shoulder for his post-meal burping, and she and James walked to their living room to find Peter and Remus.

"Finally!" James exclaimed, greeting his two friends. "Peter, what's with the long sleeves, its bloody hot out!"

"Haven't been too well," Peter mumbled, embarrassedly pulling at his sleeves. "Hopefully not catching whatever my mum's got..."

"Let me see him!" Remus exclaimed, setting his eyes on Lily. She watched in affection as Remus took Harry and stared down at him, slightly awed.

"Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, meet Harry James Potter," Lily said proudly.

"I thought it was Harry Sirius Potter?" Peter asked, confused.

Lily's eyes flashed, and she turned to James. "He's been lying to _other_ people, too?"

"He told me the same," Remus said with a half smile, without looking up from Harry.

"That's it, Potter, get your friend Black over here _right now_."

James grinned and grabbed some floo powder from the mantle of the fireplace. He loved when Lily and Sirius got into rows.

"Give Peter a turn!" Lily said, turning to Remus, who was ruffling Harry's hair.

"Oh, no I'm—erm—not good with children," Peter stuttered.

"Nonsense," Lily said flippantly as Remus held the boy out to Peter. He'd grown to be a very jittery man, although Lily couldn't blame him. It was probably the constant stress of his sick mother. "You're one of his uncles, so you'd better get used to holding him."

Peter took Harry in his arms reluctantly, holding him awkwardly, and far away from his torso. Harry looked up at Peter's face in wonderment, all giggles ceasing. Peter looked down on the tiny baby, becoming more and more uncomfortable under Harry's penetrating gaze. Lily laughed at him.

"Oh, you're more of a big baby than Harry is," she teased, handing Harry back to Remus.

Just then, the fireplace crackled, and Sirius stepped out.

"Black!" Lily roared, pointing her wand at his throat.

"Well, good afternoon to you, too, Evans—"

"It _won't_ be a good afternoon for you if you don't listen up," she growled. James stepped out of the fireplace and immediately stifled giggles.

"I'm all ears," Sirius said, turning his nose up haughtily. This somehow annoyed Lily more than if he had placed his hands over his ears.

"What is my son's name?"

"Harry Potter."

"_Say it_."

"Well, the second name is up for debate—"

"SIRIUS!"

"Ah, I knew you'd come around!" Sirius exclaimed with a devilish grin. "Harry Sirius Potter, so much better than that James nonsense."

Lily lunged her wand forward, poking into Sirius' adam's apple.

"I'm going to ask you one more time, Black," she said, ignoring the other three's stifled laughter. "What is my child's name."

"Well, his papers say Harry James Potter, but—"

"_Silencio!_"

Lily joined in on the other Marauder's laughter at the sour look on Sirius' face.

"That's all I needed to hear," she teased. Harry's squeals joined in with his uncles' roaring laughter.


	36. Love, not Power

**Thank you guys for your last reviews, as always, they made me smile. Lol to SeriouslySiriusBlack's comment about what she and her sister did to their poor cat...way worse than Lily's memory charms :P **

**Anyways, enjoyy :)  
**

Lily and Alice watched on as Harry and Neville stared at each other with wide, curious eyes.

"His eyes!" Alice exclaimed for the tenth time that hour. "They're _exactly_ like yours. But otherwise he looks just like James."

Lily sighed. "I know. He's going to be teased about that hair."

"James was never teased about his hair at Hogwarts—"

"That's because anyone who teased him would have been hexed," Lily said shortly. Alice laughed and nodded. Neville turned his head abruptly at his mother's laughter, and grinned widely at her. He had a round head, just like her, although his crooked smile was definitely from Frank.

"Madam Pomfrey said that she delivered Neville, too," Lily commented, trying to keep her voice nonchalant. In reality, she had been waiting for months to bring this up with Alice, but there never seemed to be a good opportunity. James said that she should let it go and not bother the Longbottoms about the potential danger their son is in, but Lily couldn't help herself. Alice would understand, if Dumbledore had indeed approached her about the prophecy.

"Yeah, Dumbledore said that it would be safer for me, since I'm an auror's wife," Alice said distantly. She was busy making faces at the tho boys, who were squealing with glee. Lily studied her friend closely. No change had come over Alice's demeanor. She didn't stiffen, and her face wasn't lined with a latent worry.

No, Dumbledore had definitely not told her about the prophecy. Lily's mind became very agitated, wondering why that would be. Alice's family was equally as in danger as Lily's. Lily was silent, debating with herself if she should tell Alice. It didn't seem fair that she and James should have an advantage. Then again, Lily told herself, perhaps she and James were actually in more danger. Maybe Dumbledore had a reason to believe that the prophecy applied to Harry and not Neville.

"—should be going," Alice said. Lily started when she realized that Alice was speaking.

"So soon?" Lily asked, although it was more out of politeness than actual want of Alice to stay. Lily felt like she needed time to herself to ponder this new realization.

"Augusta will worry if I'm even a minute late," Alice said apologetically. As she bent down to pick Neville up, she tenderly brushed her hand through Harry's hair. No one could seem to resist it. Lily vaguely wished that Mrs. Potter were still alive, so that Lily could ask her if people had done the same with James.

* * *

"Thank you, Remus," Lily said earnestly.

"You've done more for me than anyone else," Remus said, hoisting Harry onto his knee. "It's the least I can do."

"You're the only one I can trust," Lily said, a note of pleading in her voice. She did everything in her power to ensure that James would not find out about this meeting. He had enough to worry about—she'd brewed him another calming draught last night and slipped it into his pumpkin juice during dinner. Now that he had a son, the weight of the Order was beginning to get to James. He worried constantly, which in turn, worried Lily. It was very uncharacteristic of him.

"I'm glad," Remus said with a small, sad smile. "What do I tell James or Sirius if they come back?"

"I don't know," Lily said hurriedly. She hadn't thought of this—James hadn't come home early in months. "Tell them that Dumbledore wanted to speak with me, or that I went to my sister. Just make _something_ up."

"Alright," Remus said, looking at her uncertainly. "Are you okay, Lily?"

"I'm fine," she said, kissing Harry and stepping into the fire.

When she stepped back out, Remus and Harry had disappeared, and she was in the office of Albus Dumbledore.

"Lily," he said, nodding his head in greeting. He was behind his desk, waiting for her. She knew that it was selfish of her to take up his time—he was a very important and busy man—but she couldn't rest until she had answers.

She told him this, and Dumbledore shook his head.

"It seems that your contribution may turn out to be more significant than any I've made," he said, surveying her. "I'm happy to make time for you."

"I—I just had a question," Lily nervously began, taking a seat in front of Dumbledore's desk. "About what you told me and James."

"Ah, the prophecy," Dumbledore said knowingly. "I'm surprised you didn't come to me earlier with more questions."

"Well, you didn't tell Alice and Frank about it," Lily stated. "Why is that? Is Harry in more danger than Neville?"

"I should have known better than to believe I could have hidden that from you," he said, mostly to himself. "Yes, it is true that I did not tell the Longbottoms about the prophecy."

"Why not?" Lily asked, feeling impatient.

"They are still in danger," Albus said, in an infuriatingly roundabout manner. "Voldemort, while supremely evil, is cunning. He will have spies out for every magical baby born at the end of July, and when he discovers that you and Mrs. Longbottom gave birth in secret, he will begin to suspect."

"But how will he know which of us it applies to?" Lily asked breathlessly. "How do _you_ know?"

"Voldemort will likely go to whomever he finds out about first, although no one can know for sure," Dumbledore said gravely, " but I have my suspicions. The son of a great Auror would seem the obvious choice, but it takes something much more powerful than that to undo one of the darkest, most heinous wizards ever."

"What is that?"

"Love."

Lily stared at Dumbledore.

"Love?"

"Yes, Lily, and you and I both know that you have ties to the deatheaters through it."

"I do not love a deatheater," Lily said indignantly. "I'm married—!"

"But one loves you very much, and I have a suspicion that it is a very powerful love."

"Severus," Lily said quietly. "But how do you know?"

"I am not blind to the going-ons of my own students," Dumbledore said with a small wink. "I believe Severus Snape's love for you is very strong, and he is also very close to Voldemort. This will undoubtably be Voldemort's undoing."

Lily was quiet as she pondered Dumbledore's words. She felt tears moisten her eyes, and she wasn't sure if it was for Severus, or her son's arduous fate. She had selfishly found hope in the fact that the prophecy could apply to Neville. Dumbledore's words crushed that hope. But her sadness was more than that; in fact, she felt a small relief that Alice and Frank would not have to suffer whatever pain she and James would have. No, she felt a nostalgia for her friendship with Severus.

"You cared for him very much," Albus said quietly, seeming to read her thoughts.

Lily nodded, her tears falling quicker. She pictured the scrawny, sad-looking boy she first met before Hogwarts. What went wrong?

"What d'you think will happen," Lily said thickly, sniffling and wiping her nose on her robes.

"That, I cannot say. All I can tell you certainly is that love, not power, is the answer to Voldemort's downfall."

* * *

"So, Moony, what do you make of this new Wolfsbane potion?" James asked, leaning back in his chair, satisfied with Lily's roasted chicken.

"I don't know," he said uncertainly, catching Lily's eye. She knew exactly how he felt about it. Of course she wouldn't mind brewing the complicated potion for him, but if he took it, he wouldn't be able to continue his business with the werewolves. He couldn't tell his friends that, though. "It sounds like more trouble than it's worth. The Shrieking Shack's fine for me."

"Aw, but I bet little Harry would love a big werewolf to curl up by the fire with once a month," Sirius teased, bouncing Harry on his lap and burying his face affectionately in his hair. "Do it for him!"

"I don't think Lily and James can afford the amount of food it takes to keep a werewolf happy," Remus said with a wink. "I'm sure Harry'll be perfectly happy with a big, black dog, eh Padfoot?"

"I've never had the taste for dog food," Sirius said delicately, as everyone laughed.

"He could always use a rat to keep him company at Hogwarts," Lily said, turning to Peter. He'd been very quiet and she wanted to draw him into the conversation.

"Aw, Peter'd be boring," James moaned.

"I know all the secret passageways!" Peter said defensively, looking sour.

"He was kidding, mate," Sirius said, clapping Peter on the shoulder. "You could scurry on over to Honeydukes the first week and win Harry's love forever."

"Being a pet rat wouldn't be so bad, I suppose," Peter said thoughtfully. "As long as you made sure Harry fed me a lot of cheese."

"You're not being serious," Sirius said, raising his eyebrows. Peter looked uncomfortable.

"It doesn't take much to keep me happy, I s'pose."

Suddenly, there was a loud bang. Lily was blinded by smoke and stood up abruptly in a panic.

"Harry? James?" she yelled out, her voice drowned by the shouts of the other men. She could faintly hear Harry's wails. She frantically felt around for her wand, and once she found it, waved it. The smoke cleared away, and everyone paused.

Peter was gone, a pile of clothes left where he had once been sitting. Remus was standing with his hands out in front of him, and Sirius had been feeling around his robes for his wand. Lily found James holding Harry in his arms, his body crouched around his son, protecting him. Harry, she realized, was flailing James' wand around with his tiny fist wrapped around the base. She pointed to him, her mouth hanging open in shock, and Sirius burst out laughing.

"Little bugger!"

Soon everyone was laughing, and Peter reappeared. In the panic, he'd transfigured to his rat form and hid in a corner.

"I-I was ready, as s-s-soon as the smoke cleared!" he squeakily insisted when his friends poked fun at him.


	37. Severus Snape

**It's been sooo long since my last update. My semester is insane and I'm finally on spring break. I'm so sorry guys :( I'll try really hard to update as much as possible, and maybe even finish the story by the end of the week (no promises). Thank you guys for all the reviews and feedback while I was gone!**

"I don't understand," Remus said, knitting his eyebrows. Lily kept her gaze averted, focusing her attention to Harry on her lap. She knew she was asking for a lot.

"I—I can't explain it," she said softly. "I just need to find him. It could change everything."

Harry watched his mother's face intently with his bright green eyes.

"He's a death eater," Remus said firmly.

"I don't care."

"He tried to kill James, did you know that?"

Lily quickly met Remus' eye. "He _what_?"

"When James was trying to save Dorcras the second time," Remus explained, keeping his serious eyes on Lily's face. "We didn't want you to know, but now that you're telling me _this_, I can see that you're woefully naive."

"Excuse me," Lily said tersely, "there are some things that you don't know, either."

"I'm sorry Lily, but this is something that I cannot help you with."

"It's bigger than what you think!" Lily insisted desperately as Remus got up. She grabbed his arm to stop his progression to the door.

"Listen, Lily," Remus burst out in a low, fierce voice, tearing his arm away. "I'm on thin ice as it is with James. Our friendship would be over if you go do something a stupid as seeking Severus Snape out and end up dead. James would never forgive me if he knew I helped you, and I'd never forgive myself."

Lily stared at him. She had never heard Remus use such a tone in her years of knowing him. Perhaps the tension with his friends was getting to him more than he let on.

"I need you, Remus," Lily said softly, her last desperate attempt.

"I'd do many things for you, Lily, but not this."

* * *

Lily was frustrated. She hadn't anticipated Remus rejecting her pleas. It had been nearly a week since her meeting with Dumbledore, and his words haunted her: "_I believe Severus Snape's love for you is very strong...this will undoubtably be Voldemort's undoing._"

She knew what she needed to do: find Severus, and bring him to their side. The task was not daunting to her; she knew that he would never hurt her. It was the details that she needed to work out, first and foremost, who would watch Harry while she was gone. It surely would not be easy to _find_ Severus, as he was a suspected death eater in hiding, and she needed time to herself to find him. But she also needed someone who wouldn't tell James, and who wouldn't ask too many questions. She swore to Dumbledore that she would tell no one of the prophecy.

Lily went over the options again and again in her head. Remus had made it clear that he wouldn't help; Frank and Alice would be another good option, except Augusta was always there breathing down their necks, and would surely have questions; Peter spent all his time with his sick mother; Emmeline had taken to having frequent breakdowns, and Lily was reluctant to leave Harry with her in such an unstable state. That left one person: Sirius.

She knew that even asking him would be risky, but Lily would have to do it. Severus was somehow the key to bringing down Voldemort, and Lily was the only one who could reach him. She felt it was her responsibility to try her hardest, even if it leads to some unpleasant words with James.

"C'mon Harry," Lily cooed, lifting the black-haired baby up and snuggling him to her face. He laughed gleefully and kicked his legs.

"We're going to see uncle Sirius!" she said, trying to distract him from the coat she was bundling him up in. He hated being dressed, which was especially unfortunate in the cold winter months that required many layers.

"Sis, sis, sis!" Harry squealed excitedly in his baby attempt to say Sirius' name. Lily smiled as she remembered the first time Harry had said this; Sirius had been absent for a longer period of time than usual, sent on an especially complicated mission by Dumbledore. During this time, everyone in the house felt the loss. James had moped around the house while Harry's laughter became less and less frequent. One day, the flames in their fireplace burned green, and Sirius stepped out, looking haggard and unkempt. James sprang up from his seat, and Harry crawled towards his uncle screaming "SIS!" The gaunt look immediately left Sirius' face, and it was almost as though he had not just been battling death eaters for weeks straight.

Once Harry was finally wrestled into his tiny cloak, Lily stepped into the fireplace.

"Sirius Black residence!"

"Lily!" Sirius barked in excitement, standing up from the armchair he'd been reading the paper in. He helped her out of his fireplace and took Harry from her arms. Harry could hardly contain his excitement at the sight of his favorite uncle, putting his baby hands all over Sirius' face affectionately.

"Hullo, Sirius," Lily said, beaming at her son's joy.

"To what do I owe the visit?" he asked over Harry's laughter, spinning Lily's baby around above his head.

"I have a favor to ask," Lily said in a low, quick voice, forcing herself to say the words. Her heartbeat had doubled in pace; this was the moment that would make or break her plan.

"What is it? Is everything okay?" Sirius asked, all laughter dying from his face. Harry seemed to sense the change of mood, for he became silent and stared between his uncle and mother.

"Everything's fine," Lily assured with an attempt at a smile. "I-I just need you to watch Harry for me a few times."

"Of course I can do that," Sirius said, clearly relieved that she asked such a simple task.

"James can't know."

Sirius stared at her. "Why not?"

"I'll tell you if you promise to control yourself."

Sirius knitted his eyebrows together, much the same way Remus had when Lily had asked him for help.

"What is it?"

"I need to find Severus Snape."

His reaction was just as Lily had anticipated. He nearly dropped Harry from shock, but managed to regain enough control of himself to put Harry on the ground instead.

"Have you gone _mad_?" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air. "You want to go snooping around for a death eater _behind James' back_, and expect me to help? Absolutely not."

"It's very important," Lily said firmly, unwilling to waver. "I-I can't tell you exactly why, but it's very important to the Order."

"I don't care," Sirius continued frantically, "I'm going to tell James straight away so he can talk some sense into you—"

"DON'T!" Lily snapped, pointing her wand at Sirius, who had picked up parchment and a quill from a table. He froze. "I'm going whether or not you'll help me, whether or not James tries to stop me. If I have to bring Harry, so be it."

At the mention of Harry's name, Sirius' face became ugly.

"You'd bring your child around that greasy, slimy, evil—?"

"He won't hurt me, nor Harry," Lily insisted. "I'm not worried about that. It will just be easier for me if you'll keep your mouth shut and watch him. If you want to help me, then Harry won't go near Severus. If you don't, well then, I suppose you'll have to deal with it."

Sirius turned his eyes to Harry, who sat on the ground watching the two tense adults with worried eyes.

"Why can't someone go with you?" Sirius insisted, although his voice had softened. Lily's heart lifted.

"D'you think he'll talk to me with any of you lot around?" Lily said with a small smile.

"I suppose not."

"So you'll do it?"

"You haven't given me much other choice, have you Potter?"

"It's for the Order," Lily said. "This might change everything."

* * *

Lily's task was taking longer than anticipated. She had been searching for weeks now, with no site of Severus. She'd started at his childhood house, wandered Diagon Alley for hours, and even ventured to Knockturn Alley with no luck. She had a backup plan—well, she had many back up plans, but _this _was her last resort.

"_Expecto Patronum_," Lily whispered into the night. A silvery doe emerged from her wand and illuminated the playground. It looked at her expectantly.

"Find Severus Snape," she instructed. "Tell him 'come to the place we first met.'"

In a flash, the doe was gone. Lily couldn't control her shaking and tried to distract herself by swinging on the rusty swing set. The rhythmic creaking soothed her nerves; the silence had seemed to increase her anticipation, and any interruption was welcome.

Lily had not spoken to Severus in so long. Last time she had, he was surrounded by death eaters. What if he was with them when he received her message? Lily fingered her wand, ready to fight.

Seconds seemed like minutes to Lily. She eagerly checked her watch every few moments, and was disappointed when so few seconds had gone by. Suddenly, she heard a loud crack nearby.

"S-Severus?" she whispered, shooting up from the swing. She squinted her eyes, and in the streetlight she could make out a tall, thin figure.

"Lily Evans?" Severus mumbled, stepping closer. He didn't bother to mask the shock in his voice.

"Hullo Sev," Lily greeted as he stopped a few feet in front of her.

He was silent as he stared at her, drinking her in with his eyes, as though he could not believe that Lily was actually standing there. Lily couldn't blame him; they were meeting under very unusual circumstances.

"Is that any way to greet an old friend?" Lily said with a weak, nervous smile, holding her arms out.

Severus hesitated a moment longer, and with a groan, threw himself into Lily's arms. Lily sighed in relief as she embraced her old friend. The little boy from years ago was still somewhere inside him. She could hear him mumbling "Lily" into her robes as they hugged.

"It's so good to see you, Sev," Lily said, pulling away with tears brimming her eyes. She had so much hope for him.

He seemed to regain himself and recommenced staring at her, this time with questioning eyes.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked, standing closer to her than before.

"I..." Lily hesitated. She'd rehearsed exactly what she'd wanted to tell him a million times, but now she was at a loss for words. She decided to be honest.

"I've _missed_ my best friend," she said.

Severus looked taken aback.

"I-I've missed you, I suppose," he said in a disinterested tone. Lily didn't believe his front; he wouldn't be looking at her like that if he didn't really care. He wouldn't be there.

"I, erm, hope my message didn't _interrupt_ anything," she said awkwardly, looking at him meaningfully. He averted his eyes. In shame?

"No."

"Good."

They stood in silence for another few uncomfortable moments. Lily desperately tried to find words, but her mind was numb. She instead focused her attention on Severus' appearance. He was, if possible, worse than she had last seen him. His face was sallower, his hair thinner, and his skin etched with new lines.

"Are you doing alright?" Lily asked, biting her lip.

"I've done well for myself," he replied evasively, but Lily understood the implication. She'd suspected for a while that he was pretty high in the ranks of death eaters, and he just confirmed it. He would be a valuable addition to the Order.

"Thats..." Lily almost said "good," but it felt wrong. What he was doing was not good. She corrected herself. "I just hope that you're happy."

Severus took his eyes off of Lily and looked at the ground as he replied.

"I hear that you've done _well_ for yourself."

"Yes, I have a son now—Harry," she said cautiously. She wasn't sure how Severus felt about the subject of Harry. "Here, look."

Lily pulled out a picture of Harry that she had taken especially for the occasion. Severus hesitated and stared at her outstretched hand, seeming to be torn between his desire to be closer to Lily and his hatred of James' offspring. Finally, he stepped forward and looked down his nose.

"It looks like _him_," he said distastefully, referring to James. Lily ignored his rudeness, and shoved the picture under his nose again.

"Everyone says he has _my_ eyes though," Lily encouraged. Severus' eyes flickered to the picture once again, and he finally stepped back.

Again, they fell into silence.

"Sev?" Lily asked, stepping forward and putting her hand on his shoulder, "are you _really_ happy?"

He remained stoic, as though he couldn't hear her.

"I-if you wanted to, you could find a new group of friends," she continued when he didn't stop her. "You could come over for dinner, and meet everyone, and—"

"To _Potter's_ house?" Severus spat, stepping back. "I think not."

"That was years ago," Lily pleaded. "He's a much different person now. They all are."

Severus snorted contemptuously.

"Dumbledore could offer you protection, if you wanted it," Lily continued, quickening her speech. She could feel her hope slipping away. "You don't have to live like this—"

"I do not want protection, I want respect."

"You can have respect—!"

"NO!" Severus burst out, "I've played by Dumbledore's rules and it did not get me far. Filth like James Potter and his minions won instead. I've chosen a new path."

"Whatever you think they are, at least they don't abide by some law of blood supremacy that would have witches like me and muggles like my family killed! Don't you remember how kind my parents were to you?"

"Yes, and I clearly remember how wretched your sister was," he responded tersely.

"She was one, _one_ person!" Lily said frantically. "Don't let that—"

"And my father was another!" Severus yelled. Lily could hear his voice become thick and grew silent. He'd never talked about his father.

"Muggles can never understand magic," he spat. "They only grow jealous of our superior powers. Their ignorance must be stopped. We cannot have wizards mixing with such an inferior, primitive race."

Lily stared at him in horror. He was breathing heavily and his eyes were sparkling black. Lily tried to compose herself, reminding herself that love, love, love would save Severus, and save everyone, but how could she put love in such a hateful mind?

"Is that it, then?" she said, her voice shaking. She was only met with a glare.

"Well, I'm sorry then. I thought I could reason with you," she said sadly, her voice shaking more and more with each word. She stepped closer to Severus. "Just remember me and_ him_"—Lily pulled out Harry's picture once again.

By the end of her speech, Lily was in tears. Severus' expression seemed to soften, but even he realized it was too late. Lily disapparated, leaving Severus alone on the playground to ponder what he had just heard, and aching for Lily's embrace again.


	38. Dropped a Dungbomb

**Told you I'd update quickly :) Let me just say I'm sooo thankful for all my faithful readers who expressed excitement over my return. You guys are the best, thanks for sticking with me even though I've sucked at updating. I believe that this is going to be one of the last chapters...my goal is to end on 40 (in reality, 41...I have an epilogue planned). HAVE NO FEAR though, I'm 5 chapters into my next Marauder story :) I'll post the summary and first chapter to that sooon so you guys can get a taste for it. **

"He said some horrible things about muggles and mixing blood," Lily said sadly as she waved her wand to summon lunch materials. Bread, cheese, and cold cuts landed neatly on the dining table, and Lily began to construct a sandwich. "He didn't seem too keen on being friendly with James and you lot."

"Told ooh e' was uh gi'" Sirius said through a mouth full of the sandwich Lily had just handed him.

"What was that?" Lily asked with a bemused smile.

Sirius gulped, not even bothering to finish chewing his food.

"I _told_ you he was a git," he said, shaking his head.

"Well, at least I can say that I've tried," Lily defended, averting her eyes from Sirius and focusing on Harry. He was dozing off in his mother's lap, contentedly sucking on his tiny fist.

"When'd you say James was due back?" Sirius asked when it was clear that Lily wanted to change topics. However, his tone was strained. James had been due back nearly half an hour ago.

"Should be any time now," Lily said, trying to keep her own tone light. James had been out on a mission partnered with Peter to gather information. There'd been word of a large gathering of death eaters, and there was a good chance of Voldemort's presence.

"We'dof heard if something went wrong," Sirius mumbled, mostly to himself, although his words comforted Lily. There were others stationed around, keeping an ear out. She would have been alerted immediately.

"I think I hear someone," Sirius said suddenly, bolting upright. Lily stood up, jolting Harry, who erupted into tears at the sudden disruption of his peace.

"Is it him?" Lily called after Sirius over Harry's wails, kissing Harry's forehead and bouncing him lightly to calm him.

"It's Emmeline," he called back from the other room. Lily entered the room just as Sirius held open the door for Emmeline.

"Hello Em—"

"It's gone all wrong," she blurted out.

Lily clutched Harry, who'd since calmed down, to her chest. She realized that she'd failed to notice Emmeline's colorless face and wide worried eyes.

"Is James okay?" Lily choked out.

"I barely got away—"

"But what about James?" Sirius all but shouted.

"—couldn't find anyone, I had to disapparate right away—"

"Where is everyone else?" Lily asked weakly, sinking to the couch.

"They all went in to help," Emmeline said shakily. "They told me not to come, but Lily, you needed to know."

Lily nodded dumbly. She felt sick. Getting up abruptly, she threw Harry into Sirius' arms and dashed to the toilet to vomit. For all she knew, there was a good chance that James was dead. As she rested her forehead on the edge of the toilet, unable to move, she recalled their last moments together, just yesterday.

"_Are you sure he was asleep?" Lily asked, biting her lip. "I thought I heard him crying."_

"_You worry too much," James said with an affectionate smile, pulling her naked body closer to his and stroking her hair._

"_I'd feel horrible if we were off shagging while he cried—"_

"_Well he wasn't, so no need to worry," James said more tersely this time. _

_Lily stared at him. He'd been much shorter with her recently. She understood the stress of the Order, but that didn't mean she had to like his sudden change._

"_I think I'll go read a bit before bed," Lily said lightly, getting out and pulling her nightrobes on._

"_Come on Lily," James groaned, throwing his head back against the pillow dramatically. Lily ignored him and continued on to the living room, fighting back her tears. She had been crying entirely too much now a days. _

_She picked up a book at random and flopped onto the couch. She knew that James was going tomorrow, but she didn't much feel like sleeping with him, between his snapping that Harry was too loud at dinner earlier to his tone moments ago. _

"_Lily, come back," James asked gently, his silhouette appearing in the doorway._

"_I don't want to sleep next to a grouchy toe rag such as yourself," Lily grumbled, glaring at him. _

"_I didn't mean to take that tone—"_

"_What about the one before it? Or the one before that? Or—?"_

"_I get it," James interrupted, walking over and sitting next to her. Lily made no move to make room._

"_Do you think that I'm not scared just because I'm not actually out there fighting?" Lily said thickly, willing her tears to remain in her tear ducts. "You don't see me going around snapping at everyone. That's not who I married, James."_

"_It gets to you, being out there," James said apologetically. "The hours of sitting there, just waiting for them to make their next move, things start going through your head."_

"_I sit here and worry about you out there—!"_

"_Not that," James said, looking down at his hands. "You know that Sirius and I stopped going on missions together?"_

"_I noticed," Lily said, puzzled at the abrupt change of subject. "I didn't think much of it."_

"_I asked Dumbledore to do that," James said softly. "So that in case anything happened to me, I know that Harry'd still have a proper father."_

_Lily was quiet. The lump in her throat became painful. Even if she could think of something to say, she wouldn't have been able to get the words out._

"_When I'm out, I get jealous, thinking about him in my house, holding my son, talking to my wife," James admitted, clearly struggling to keep the emotion out of his voice._

"_You know it's not like that," Lily said gently, placing a hand on James' arm. "He's your best mate, practically your brother."_

"_What happens when I'm gone?" James asked, turning to look at Lily. "You're so young and beautiful, you could replace me in a second—"_

"_James Potter, stop that nonsense right now," Lily said sternly, sitting up so that James could get the full force of her glare. "No one in the world could replace you, even Sirius. I'd remind Harry every day of his father who died bravely to protect him. And what's this 'when I'm gone' rubbish? There is no _when_. That's a big, fat IF."_

"_I'm being selfish," James apologized. "I've heard myself being terse with you, but I haven't stopped. I look at you and imagine who you'd be with after I'm gone, and how he'd touch you, and I lose it."_

"_Don't," Lily pleaded. "If you think like that, you'll never make it through. Think of how your work will pay off, and our life when HE's gone."_

_James nodded, and Lily continued, unable to stop herself._

"_Harry and Nevill will grow up together, and you, me, Frank, and Alice are going to drop them off at the Hogwarts Express in ten years," Lily whispered. "And he'll be Head Boy, and the star Quidditch player. You and Sirius will get to go back to Hogwarts for every one of his games, and even though Harry'll say it embarrasses him, he'll secretly love it. And we'll grow old together, down the street from friends, and go to the pub every Saturday, like you said you wanted to do by the Lake when you proposed—"_

_Lily grew silent when James heaved a sob and rested his forehead on her shoulder. She felt her shoulder quickly grow wet with tears as she stroked the back of her husband's head, trying to numb her mind to her own sadness. To Lily, James' tears seemed to be by far the worst part of Voldemort. _

"_Let's go back to bed," Lily finally whispered when James' sobs had subdued. "We have a long day tomorrow."_

"Lily? Lily?"

She sat up, finding herself kneeling before the toilet once again. Emmeline stood over her, resting her hand on her friend's shoulder.

"I didn't mean to worry you—"

"No, thank you," Lily said earnestly. "I want to know."

"I need to report back and see if they need help," Emmeline said shakily. "If it isn't too late."

"Yes, go, and send word if you hear from James."

"Of course."

Emmeline helped Lily off the floor, and with a quick, tight embrace, hurried through the front door. Lily made her way to the living room to see what state Sirius was in.

"I need to go," he said abruptly when she entered the room. He held Harry out to her. "I need to go help."

"You c-can't!" Lily cried, frantic at the thought of sitting alone in the house.

"I can't just sit here while—"

"You made a promise to James," Lily said, folding her arms to indicate that she would not take Harry from him. "If something happens to _both_ of you, who will Harry have?"

Sirius shook his head, shaking all over from agitation.

"But I could save him!"

"Or you could get yourself killed!"

Lily took Harry back into her arms as he began to sniffle. She could see that this was an argument that she would not win—Sirius was notorious for being headstrong. Just as she was about to open her mouth to concede, there was a faint crack from outside. They locked eyes for a moment, and raced to the front door.

"He's back," Sirius barked in relief. "James is back!"

He threw opened the door and ran to his best friend, Lily close on his heels. James didn't smile as they approached, but a visible relief washed over his face.

"Are you okay? Is everyone okay?" Lily asked, repeatedly kissing James all over his face. He nodded dumbly and took Harry into his arms, holding him close to his chest. Harry babbled joyously at his father: "dadadada!"

"Let's get inside," James croaked, striding into the house. Lily and Sirius followed closely, unable to contain their questions.

"What happened?"

"Did you hear anything?"

"Is everyone okay?"

James held up his hand to silence them.

"Some tea first, I think," he said, collapsing on the couch with Harry still tight in his arms.

Lily nodded and hurried to the kitchen, her hands shaking too badly to properly make the tea. With an impatient wave of her wand, everything was prepared, and she returned to the living room quickly. James took his cup and drank deeply.

"No one was killed, thank Merlin," James began. "_He_ was there though. Caught a good glimpse of most of us."

"What happened?" Sirius asked impatiently.

James shook his head.

"It was going brilliantly; we'd gotten in, and had a perfect spot to overhear everything. A few people had taken polyjuice potion and were disguised as the guards outside, so we were in the clear. And then, Peter dropped a dungbomb."

Lily choked on her tea, and Sirius cried out.

"He _what_?"

James shook his head again at the memory.

"He told me afterward he'd just come from his mother's, and he keeps her cat entertained with them. He must have forgotten to take it out, and it slipped."

"And then what?" Lily asked breathlessly, putting her contempt for Peter's fatal clumsiness on hold.

"Well, all hell broke loose," James said simply. "They all came running, and we were forced to fight. I tried to hide myself, but they caught sight of me. They know for sure about the Order now."

Lily felt herself breathing heavily.

"So what now?"

"We'll just have to be a bit more careful, won't we?" James said in a lighter tone, a valiant attempt to inject optimism into their situation. "Dumbledore's coming to put some extra protective charms on the house later."

The room was silent as James, Lily, and Sirius exchanged nervous glances. The only sound was Harry's blissfully unaware babbling.

"Mamama bababa dadada."

* * *

"James?" Lily whispered into the darkness. It had been silent in the room for some time, so she hardly expected an answer.

"Yes?" he replied in a clear voice, suggesting that he had not, in fact, been asleep.

"You didn't tell me what you overheard, before Peter dropped the dungbomb."

She was met with momentary silence, and then,

"They were talking about it."

"It" had become synonymous with "the prophecy" between James and Lily.

"What did they say?" she whispered. She'd been expecting this answer; James' silence on the subject was not a good sign.

"They believe they have it narrowed down to a few to whom it could apply. Voldemort's reluctant to act because he did not hear the prophecy in full. He thought about getting Trelawney from Hogwarts, but that's risky too."

Lily nodded, although it went unseen in the darkness.

"What does he know?"

"All he heard was that the one who will defeat him will be 'born to those who has thrice defied him, born as the 7th month dies.'"

"How does that change anything?" Lily asked desperately.

"I'm not quite sure."


	39. Same as Yesterday

**zomg second to last chapter :( As usual, your reviews are the best. Allll of them make me smile, no matter how long or short (and I DO read them all!). **

****Soo I have a surprise for you guys...I've posted the first chapter to my next story, Time Turner Travels! It will be a Marauder story as well, but with an OC (well, she's not a Harry Potter character, but a real-life person related to Harry Potter). Go check it out :)**

**Anywho, I'm done ranting. Enjoy :)  
**

"Come play with Harry," Lily coaxed to her husband.

"Alright," he said dully, putting down his book.

The fact that James Potter was holding a book is a testament as to how utterly bored he was. It hadn't even been an entire month that Dumbledore had suggested that the Potters not leave their abode. Ever since the incident with the dungbomb, Order members were dropping like doxies after a round of doxicide. Not only that horrible fact, but Dumbledore reminded James (when he'd protested to the "house arrest") that he himself had overheard Voldemort say that death eaters had the participants in the prophecy narrowed down. It would be extremely foolish of them to leave the house at this point.

Not only were they under a strongly suggested ban from the outside world, but Dumbledore had also requested to take James' invisibility cloak into his possession. Lily could plainly see the reluctance on James' face, but of course he would not deny anything to a man such as Dumbledore. Temporarily lending out his invisibility cloak was a small price to pay for the protection that Dumbledore offered.

"Why d'you think he needs my cloak?" James asked from the floor, as though reading Lily's thoughts. They'd had this conversation a million times, and it was beginning to wear down on Lily.

"I have no idea, but I'm sure it's very important."

Lily didn't actually believe this. She was almost positive that he'd confiscated it so that James and Sirius wouldn't do something thick like sneak around. Part of the house confinement meant severely limiting guests, including Marauders. Lily hadn't seen Peter in months, Remus in weeks, and Sirius in many days.

"Well, I wish he'd get on with it," James said grumpily.

Lily restrained the urge to roll her eyes. _She'd_ been confined to the house for months already, as Harry's sole caretaker, while James was out doing much more exciting work for the Order. Although, during her confinement, she was still allowed to see her friends. During the past month, Lily had written likely over 100 letters with all her friends. She sometimes sent three a day to Alice, exchanging stories about Harry for ones about Neville. Alice, too, was advised by Dumbledore to go into hiding. That hadn't kept her away from Augusta, who paid a daily visit, and sometimes even took over Alice's letters to Lily to drop in some of her own advice, with sayings such as _"Be sure to read to him every night; don't just amuse him with mindless wand tricks. A developing mind needs proper nourishment!"_

Lily, too, had a frequent elderly visitor, although this one was much more preferable to Mrs. Augusta Longbottom. Bathilda Bagshot, Lily and James had discovered, was a close neighbor. They were introduced to her when Dumbledore had visited to cast protective charms and collect James' cloak. While no other visitors were advised, Lily suspected that Dumbledore allowed Bathilda so that she could keep tabs on the family for him; she was notoriously close with the entire Dumbledore family, and could definitely be trusted by Dumbledore.

"Say 'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,' Harry! Say it!"

Lily was most thankful that James never took out his sour mood on Harry. He rarely even took it out on Lily, but he could not hide the desperate strain in his eye from her.

"Don't start him on that," Lily cooed, picking up her son and cuddling him theatrically. "He's still so innocent."

"Innocent?" James snorted. Harry giggled at his father's smile. "I caught him trying to rummage through his mum's potion ingredients the other day—"

"That's not being mischievous, that's being curious," Lily insisted, kissing Harry profusely on his soft forehead. He grunted and pushed away from her, and James laughed.

"That's my boy," James teased Lily, ruffling Harry's hair. "He won't take any of his mum's babying."

"That can't be _your_ boy, I have it on good authority that the late Mrs. Potter was quite generous with her love—"

"Nonsense," James said with a slight blush. "I don't know what filth Padfoot's been spewing..."

"I don't need Padfoot to tell me that you were a spoiled prat," Lily teased, grinning mischievously.

"Don't listen to her," James muttered, taking Harry into his lap and covering his ears.

* * *

"Did I hear something?" James asked, eagerly pulling back the curtains for the umpteenth time that evening.

"No, that was Harry," Lily giggled. James had finally convinced Peter to pay a visit, and he was eager for any contact from the outside world.

"How about now?"

This time, there was definitely a distinctive cracking sound. James and Lily peered out the window and saw a small man hunched over against the night.

"Wormy!" James greeted warmly, eagerly pulling his friend into a tight hug. Lily couldn't even recall the last time she'd seen him.

"Hullo," he said, twisting his face into a smile. Lily noticed that he looked quite strained, but she couldn't catch James' eye; he was too happy to have company to notice his friend's demeanor.

"How's it going?" James asked anxiously. "What have you been up to? Has Dumbledore sent you on any good missions lately? How's your mum?"

"She's okay," Peter mumbled, looking flustered at all the questions James had fired at him.

"How about some tea?" Lily offered, pulling Peter away from James so he could catch his breath.

"That'd be quite nice," Peter said, eyeing Harry as he walked with Lily to the kitchen.

"Say hello to Uncle Wormy," Lily cooed at her son, turning him towards Peter. Harry waved his baby arms enthusiastically, and Peter raised his hand unsurely.

"Can you take a hold of him for a moment?" Lily asked, moving Harry closer to Peter. "I need to get the tea and he's on my wand."

Peter looked petrified.

"Oh go on," Lily laughed. "Don't worry about dropping him. I'm sure nothing could be worse than what Sirius did last time he was over."

"What was that?" Peter asked, although he didn't seem interested; he seemed as though he were trying to prolong the amount of time between him and holding the baby.

"Here, James," Lily muttered, pushing Harry onto him. "Well, he was doing his usual stunt of levitating Harry around the room, but last time he wasn't paying full attention, and _Harry crashed into the wall_."

"Come off it," James laughed. "He did not _crash_, he _bumped_. Harry didn't even cry."

"When he ends up in Hufflepuff, I'm blaming that moment," Lily said crossly, although her lips were curved into a small, playful smile. Peter chuckled nervously.

"Tell us about _you_, Wormy," James said, turning to Peter. "Lily and I have been cooped up talking to each other forever now. We'd like to hear a new voice."

"Well, what's there to know?" Peter asked timidly.

"What have you been doing to keep busy?"

"Oh well, my mum, you know—"

"Besides that," James insisted, bouncing Harry on his hip. "I'm sure Dumbledore has you doing _something_ interesting."

"Not too much," Peter mumbled. He took a long swig of the tea Lily'd just handed him. "Patrolling different places, you know. Keeping an eye out."

"Seen anything interesting?" Lily asked curiously.

"Not much," Peter sighed. "Everyone's gone into hiding."

"Sounds like you don't have it much better than us," James joked. "Although I'd give anything to stretch my limbs. How about a quick run around?"

James made antlers with his fingers.

"I don't feel much up to it," Peter said after another long swig of tea. "Plus you know I could never keep up with you all..."

"Ah, you're no fun," James teased.

"Are _you_ doing alright, Peter?" Lily asked, after studying him for a few moments. Peter had always been a tense, awkward person, but something seemed off. He seemed constantly on edge, more than anyone else. "Can James and I do anything for you? We could watch your mother if you wanted some time off."

"No," Peter squeaked. "That's very kind of you, but the stress of strangers and all—"

"We're not _strangers_," James said, hurt.

"No, no, no," Peter said quickly, nervously glancing at James. "Not like that. She'd just rather have family, I think."

"Right," Lily said understandingly, shooting James a warning glare. "So, erm, how about dinner?"

Peter seemed to perk at this prospect.

* * *

"James Potter, don't you _dare _touch that package!"

James flinched guiltily, stepping back from the table.

"Harry'd never know—"

"Yes, well, we're waiting for our _guest_ to arrive," Lily said.

"Come off it, we see old Bathilda every day."

"But this is Harry's first birthday party," she insisted. "It wouldn't be proper to open his presents without all the guests here."

"He's not even going to remember," James said grumpily. He was agitated that Sirius hadn't told him what his gift was, as he said it was supposed to be a present for James as well.

"Well _I_ will," Lily said.

Before James could protest, there was a faint knocking on the door. Lily hurried over to answer it, checking first that it was indeed their intended guest. Lily opened the door when she saw that it was Bathilda.

"How are you dear?" the old woman asked, pulling Lily into a grandmotherly hug.

"Same as yesterday," Lily sighed. Bathilda chuckled.

"Same for you?" she asked, pulling James into a hug.

"Same," James repeated, smiling for Bathilda.

"And where is the little Potter?" Bathilda asked eagerly, looking around.

"He's napping on the couch," Lily said, pointing to the tiny bundle of blankets.

"Oh, well I won't disturb him," Bathilda said, smiling down on the boy. "How about some tea?"

"Of course," Lily said, leading her guest to the kitchen, where she already had tea prepared. "I can't believe how old he is now!"

"Before you know it, you'll be dropping him off at the Hogwarts Express," Bathilda said, shaking her head. "Ten years is nothing to an old bat like myself."

"He'll be there with your wretched book in tow," James chimed in, winking playfully.

"Just becaue History of Magic doesn't have the exciting bangs and flashes of other classes—"

"—doesn't mean it's not just as important," James and Lily finished in unison mockingly. They'd heard this speech about a hundred times after they'd confessed that History of Magic was every student's—including their—least favorite class.

The three laughed.

"Well, it's true," Bathilda huffed, waving her finger at James as though he were a naughty little boy. "I have some stories that would make Albus Dumbledore himself blush!"

"Really?" James asked, showing real interest for the first time.

"Well, now, I don't want to _bore_ you with the history—"

"No, do tell!" Lily begged, tremendously curious.

"Well," Bathilda began, unable to resist indulging the two listeners, "as you may or may not know, I am the great aunt of Gellert Grindelwald—"

"—that madman who terrorized half of Europe?" James interrupted, shocked.

"James!" Lily cried out, whacking him across the chest, shooting Bathilda an apologetic look.

"Yes, yes, that's the one," Bathilda said, unfazed. "Anyways, he and Albus were quite the pair back in their day—"

"They were _friends_?" James interrupted again.

"_James_," Lily hissed.

"I hope that you were not _this_ rude to Professor Binns," Bathilda said, annoyed at the interruption. "Are you going to let me tell my story or not, boy?"

Lily stifled laughter. She hadn't heard someone speak to James like this since McGonagall during their Hogwarts days. James noticed the laughter dancing in her eyes and shot her a sour look.

"Yes'm," James mumbled, looking to the floor. Lily snorted.

"_Anyways_," Bathilda continued, "they met when they were teenagers. Gellert was visiting for the summer, he was always the sweetest boy. He and Albus spent every possible moment together, and when they couldn't be together in person, I had constant owls flying in and out of my house."

"But, erm," Lily interjected as Bathilda paused, "didn't Dumbledore _duel_ him a few years back?"

"Well, yes, they eventually went their seperate ways I suppose," the old woman said slowly. "Albus chose to spend his time training young wizards while Gellert trained an army. I'm not quite sure where he went wrong..."

The room fell silent as James and Lily pondered this new information, and Bathilda absorbed their shock, clearly proud to be the cause.

"That's very—" James began in an awed voice.

"—interesting?" Bathilda interrupted briskly. "Yes, so think about that next time you go on about how 'dull' history is. Is that Harry I hear stirring? I brought over a flavor-changing binky I picked up from Diagon Alley the other day that has been neglected for far too long."

* * *

The moment Bathilda left, Lily seated herself at the desk to write Sirius. She promised she would as soon as possible after Harry opened his present. As she readied her quill to write, she could hear the bangs and laugher drifting from downstairs as Harry enjoyed his newest toy from his uncle Sirius.

"_Dear Padfoot,_

_Thank you, thank you, for Harry's birthday present! It was his favourite by far. One year old and already zooming along on a toy broomstick, he looked so pleased with himself. I'm enclosing a picture so you can see. You know it only rises about two feet off the ground, but he nearly killed the cat and he smashed a horrible vase Petunia sent me for Christmas (no complaints there). Of course, James thought it was funny, says he's going to be a great Quidditch player, but we've had to pack away all the ornaments and make sure we don't take our eyes off him when he gets going._

_We had a very quiet birthday tea, just us and old Bathilda, who has always been sweet to us, and who dotes on Harry. We were so sorry you couldn't come, but the Order's got to come first, and Harry's not old enough to know it's his birthday anyway! James is getting a bit frustrated shut up here, he tries not to show it but I can tell - also, Dumbledore's still got his Invisibility Cloak, so no chance of little excursions. If you could visit, it would cheer him up so much. Wormy was here last weekend, I thought he seemed down._

_Bathilda drops in most days, she's a fascinating old thing with the most amazing stories about Dumbledore, I'm not sure he'd be pleased if he knew! I don't know how much to believe, actually, because it seems incredible that Dumbledore—_

—_could ever have been friends with Gellert Grindelwald. I think her mind's going, personally!_

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_"

Lily stared at her letter crossly. She was annoyed that she couldn't fit the very last few words onto the first sheet of paper, and had to take out a second. It looked ridiculous with all the empty space, but there was nothing she could do now. She'd just heard a small thud followed by profuse wailing.

"Erm, Lily?"

"I'll be right there!" Lily called down to James as she hurried to attach to her owl the letter and picture that Bathilda had snapped earlier.


	40. Goodbye

**I know I totally suck and ditched you guys...I've never finished a story in my life before. I wanted to mull this over and make sure I give it the ending it deserves. Endings are the hardest part. I'm really satisfied with how it came out.**

**Let me suggest going back to the prologue and refreshing your memory with that. The epilogue will make more sense. **

**Thank you for sticking through. Even if only one person liked the story, I still would have gotten gratification. I'm overwhelmed with the positive responses. Thank you guys.**

**And now, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the final chapters of my story. **

"Siri—I mean—Snuffles, HEEL!" Lily called.

The shaggy, black dog either didn't hear her, or, more likely chose to ignore her, as he wove in and out of the legs of a large stag. Lily sighed and joined Remus in rolling her eyes.

As Sirius and James ran off through the surrounding woods, Lily glanced down at Harry. He was soundly asleep in his stroller, his little arm wrapped around a plump rat. Peter had decided to join his "nephew" for a lazy mid-afternoon nap.

"He won't be awake for the park," Lily said dejectedly.

"I'm—sure—he—will," Remus stuttered out through a yawn. Lily patted his back, sympathetic to his exhaustion. She couldn't decide if he actually looked worse every time she saw him, or if she just forgot how bad he'd looked the last time.

"Thanks for coming out, Moony," she said softly.

"S'no problem," he replied, with a valiant attempt at a grin.

"I hope Dumbledore hasn't been working you too hard."

"I don't mind it," Remus insisted.

A loud barking and snarling suddenly interrupted their peace. Lily looked quickly to Remus, who sprinted forward with his wand out and disappeared around a bed in the path. Lily held back in anticipation, ready to disapparate at the first sign of danger.

"It's okay!" Remus' voice assured from a distance ahead. It was choked with laughter. Lily hurried forward, careful not to jostle Harry's stroller.

The Marauders had reached the park, but for the moment they were infinitely more interesting than magical swings. Remus was doubled over in laughter; James, in his stag form, was parading around; and Sirius, in his dog form, was ensnared in James' antlers, howling in fear as James swung him around. Lily joined Remus in boisterous laughter, causing Peter to start, which in turn caused Harry to awaken.

"Look at daddy," Lily cried, hurrying to Harry before he could begin to cry. She picked up the tiny boy and turned him towards the stag. She felt her little boy's body shake with giggles.

At the sound of Harry's laughter, the stag froze and turned his head, a twinkle in its eye. Within moments, James had transfigured back to his regular self and was taking Harry from Lily's arms.

"C'mon, Wormtail," Sirius barked, coming up to Lily's side in his human form and prodding the still-slumbering rat.

Peter peeked one eye open to glare at Sirius, and retreated to the far corner of the stroller. Sirius wouldn't have it; he picked Peter up by the tail and marched him over to the playground with the other Marauders.

Lily strolled over and sat on a self-swinging swing while James and Lupin helped Harry climb around the bars.

"What'dya think his Marauder name will be?" Sirius asked, struggling to keep Peter with them; the rat was squirming around, his bulging eyes set on the comfort of the stroller. "Calm _down_ Wormtail!"

"Well, I suppose we won't know until his fifth year, will we?" Lily commented from her swing.

"Are you _mad_?" James said, poking his head through bars to stare at her. "I'm not waiting that long!"

"Well, it took you lot forever to figure out how to be animagi," Lily said with a shrug.

"He'll learn the patronus charm quicker," Sirius said, taking a seat next to Lily, having gave up on Peter. "That'll let us know his form."

"I will _not_ have you pressuring my baby into complicated charms and—"

"Becoming a brilliant wizard?" Sirius laughed, raising his eyebrow.

"We can settle on Prongs Junior for now," Remus said neutrally, noting the way that Lily was glaring between James and Sirius.

"I suppose," Lily sighed, glaring once more at the two impish men before relaxing back into the swing. She kept her eyes on Harry, but zoned out as James, Sirius, and Remus passed Harry around, helping him weave through the bars.

Despite being out of the house for the first time in weeks, Lily felt completely at peace. Here, in the middle of a park, everything seemed so normal. All the Marauders were together again, and Harry was happier than she'd seen him in months. Even Lily was curious as to what Harry's form would be. She had a feeling that he would be a stag—like James—but she selfishly hoped that it would be a doe.

A sudden popping sound interrupted Lily's thoughts. She froze, glancing wildly around.

"What the bloody hell was that?" Sirius whispered worriedly.

James was already at Lily's side with Harry in his arms.

"Take him and go," James said gravely.

"But—"

"GO, Lily!" Remus said ferociously.

Lily held Harry to her body as he struggled to get back to his uncles.

"SIE-US, SIE-US!" he cried, reaching for his uncle.

"It is Albus Dumbledore," a voice said from the woods. Seconds later, Dumbledore himself appeared.

"Albus!" Lily choked in relief. She suddenly noticed tears on her cheek.

"Is everything okay?" James asked hurriedly.

"I'm afraid not. I must ask the Potters to accompany me back to their house."

Sirius looked livid.

"What's this all about—?"

"If you value the lives of your friends, Mr. Black, I suggest that you do not hinder us."

Sirius opened his mouth to argue, but James was by his side in a second. Lily watched curiously as James whispered something in his best friend's ear. Sirius' face relaxed, although he still looked grave.

"See you lot later," Lily said softly, nodding to Remus and Sirius. Peter was still asleep in the carriage.

* * *

"What's going on, Dumbledore?" James said anxiously. Lily normally would have admired the image of Harry seated on Dumbledore's lap, happily grabbing at the headmaster's beard, but she was distracted. As usual, she was putting together some tea.

"I have been informed that Voldemort has deduced the meaning of the prophecy," Dumbledore said gravely. "He knows now that Harry fits the description."

James sank into a chair, cradling his hands in his head. Lily felt lightheaded and there was a loud ringing in her ears.

"There is no need to panic," Dumbledore said soothingly. "We have intercepted the damage before it became too great. There are ways to protect yourself."

"We should leave the country," James said firmly. "We can go to America—"

"No," Lily said sharply, finally regaining her senses. "We can't allow him to move in to other countries, causing more death and destruction."

Dumbledore nodded in assent. "Quite right, Mrs. Potter. If you are abroad, you also will not have the immediate protection of your friends."

James sighed and nodded.

"I believe all that we can do now is preform the Fidellus Charm."

Lily glanced to James, and he looked stoic. She herself was unsure of it—it would mean placing one of their friends in grave danger.

"As you know," Dumbledore continued, softly untangling Harry's tiny fingers from his beard, "you must choose a secret keeper. I would be more than willing—"

"Sirius should do it," James interrupted firmly.

"_James_," Lily hissed. She turned to Dumbledore, blushing for her husband's rudeness, and said diplomatically, "That's such an honor, Albus, thank you. I think Sirius would be very offended if we didn't ask him."

Dumbledore was quiet for a moment, and his face remained impassive. Lily was horrified that they may have somehow offended him.

"I quite agree. Under the Fidellus Charm, you may have no visitors other than your secret keeper. You wouldn't want an old bat like myself as your only company." His blue eyes twinkled, and Lily smiled, relieved.

James only nodded. Lily knew that more confinement was the opposite of what he wanted.

"How long will this be?" James asked quietly.

"That, I'm afraid, I do not know. Our main concern is getting your family safe, and the next step is to decide our course of action," Dumbledore said. He bounced Harry gently on his knee. "I have an insider who suggested planting false information to direct his attentions elsewhere."

Lily bit her lip and studied Dumbledore's face. He determinedly avoided her gaze. Was it Severus? Surely he would work to stop Voldemort from killing her son. She hoped.

"I will go fetch Sirius, and we will proceed with the charm."

Dumbledore stood up, handed Harry over to James, and disappeared quickly into the fireplace.

* * *

"You're sure, mate?"

Sirius rolled his eyes at James' question. James stood over his best mate with his wand out, his hand slightly shaking.

"You know I couldn't stand if someone else did it," Sirius growled. "Get on with it."

James brandished his wand and muttered the incantations that Dumbledore had instructed him on. Sirius mumbled his part along, which Lily couldn't hear, and the deed was done.

* * *

"I miss fresh air," James moaned, gazing outside longingly. Lily could barely hear him over Harry's screams. After nearly a week of no visitors, no news, and no breaks, the Potter household was slowly going insane.

"The alternative to this torture doesn't seem so bad," Lily muttered under her breath. She realized what she had said, and looked up quickly at James, expecting an argument, but he was not paying attention. Harry's screams probably drowned her words out.

Lily stood up and walked Harry around the living room. James turned from the window and waved his wand lazily, causing a few of the room decorations to soar above Harry's head. Harry's wails mitigated to a cry, and eventually a feeble whimper, until he was asleep in his mother's arms. Lily sighed in relief and put him on the couch.

"Shall we play some chess?" James asked quietly.

"No, you'll get too moody when I beat you."

Neither Lily nor James smiled. There was too much tension in the house.

"I'll have a go organizing my potions," Lily said finally.

"You've already organized them by color, name, and function," James moaned. "What else is there to do with them?"

"I'll figure something out," Lily snapped. She stood to head towards the stairs, and suddenly heard a loud crash. She shrieked and ran back to the living room to throw herself on top of Harry. She turned, wielding her wand in front of her, and saw James standing with his mouth open, watching her.

"W-what was that?" Lily asked breathlessly.

"The cat knocked over a vase," James said cautiously.

"Oh." Lily shakily raised herself from Harry, who, miraculously, remained asleep. James strode over to help her up tenderly.

"Are you okay?"

"I-I thought it was...you know..." Lily trailed off shakily, dissolving into tears on James' shoulder. He put his arms around her and hushed her affectionately.

"They'd have to get through Sirius first," he assured her.

"What if they do get to him?" she sobbed. "He's the obvious target. What if they do horrible things to him—"

"Stop," James said softly. "If they did get to him, Sirius would go how he would want to—defending his godson."

"It's terrible to think of," Lily said in an unsteady voice. "All the time, I dream of what they'd do to him—"

"Enough," James said, pulling her into a standing position and stroking her hair. "Let's have that game of wizarding chess."

Lily nodded, wiping her eyes on the cuff of James' robes, and then kissing him swiftly.

* * *

Lily held the spoon to Harry's mouth with lackluster. She was counting down the hours until it was an acceptable time to go to bed. She was bored out of her mind.

"Sirius is here!"

Lily jumped badly at the loud interruption, smearing food all over Harry's face. She shakily wiped what she had spilled, trying to calm her nerves before facing Sirius.

James came bounding into the room, tugging Lily up. Sure enough, standing in the fireplace, wiping soot off of himself, was Sirius. Overjoyed, James pulled his wife and best mate into a deep hug. They held the position, desperately grabbing onto one another, until Harry, caught in the middle, began to squirm.

"It's so good to see you mate, how are you?" James kept repeating, keeping his hand on Sirius' shoulder. Lily studied her friend, and saw that over a week he had visibly deteriorated. He had a gaunt, sunken look about him, and seemed as skittish as she was these days.

"I'm being followed," Sirius muttered as he took Harry and held his godson to his chest. "There's been a few near misses. They're after me."

"Who?" James said savagely.

"Who does it matter, mate?" Sirius barked. "Them! The death eaters!"

James looked taken aback at his friend's tone. Lily sympathized.

"When was the last time you slept, Padfoot?" she asked softly.

He shrugged, defeated.

James opened his mouth, but Lily cut in.

"Let me make you a sleeping potion. You can stay here and rest up tonight."

"Wormtail would be worried if I disappeared—"

"You need your wits about you," Lily insisted, heading towards her potion cabinet upstairs. "Then we'll talk."

* * *

"Good morning, Sirius," Lily said warmly when he came down the next day. His eyes were still full of sleep, but his skin was a healthy rosy color, and he looked much more alert.

"Lily, Prongs," he gasped through a yawn. James patted his friend on the back and slid him a plate of sausage.

"Feeling better?" Lily asked with a small, triumphant smile.

"Maybe, but I'd never admit that to you," he said teasingly. James laughed. Lily joined them at the table and handed Harry a spoon to occupy himself with. Sirius picked his godson up and balanced Harry on his knee while he ate.

"So what do you suggest we do?" James asked, leaning back in his chair in an attempt to keep the atmosphere casual.

Sirius took a large, deliberate bite of sausage to allow himself time to answer. Lily watched him with anticipation. She was willing to try anything—she couldn't go on knowing Sirius looked like this.

"I think we should offer it to Mooney or Wormtail," Sirius said finally, averting his eyes to Harry, and avoiding that of Lily and James.

James caught Lily's eye. She bit her lip and shrugged.

"Hear me out," Sirius said quickly. "I'm not trying to cop out. I don't like the idea myself, but they're much less suspect. Everyone knows me and James are best mates. I'm the obvious choice for Secret Keeper. I could distract the death eaters while Mooney or Wormtail are safe."

Lily nodded. The plan was actually quite brilliant. In their haste and panic, they had not considered more strategic moves and appointed the obvious—Sirius.

"Well, which one then?" James asked.

"Remus," Lily said instantly, just as Sirius said, "Wormtail."

James looked between Lily and Sirius, bemused.

"Remus, really?" Sirius said cautiously.

"I happen to trust him with my life," Lily said viciously. She was tired of watching his friends turn on him, especially since she knew of his current predicament working with the werewolves. Her admonishment was on the tip of her tongue, but then she remembered her promise to Mooney to not tell James and Sirius. She remained silent.

"And you don't trust Peter?" James ventured.

"I-I don't not trust him," she said evenly. Sirius' and James' eyes were on her. "I just think Mooney would be smarter about the whole thing."

James sighed and nodded.

"I still say he's been a bit off," Sirius said.

"Sirius," Lily said in a warning tone.

"No, I'm not going to hold anything back," Sirius said passionately. "This is a matter of your lives, and I'm going to give my opinion, even if it hurts Remus' feelings. He's gone off the deep end. I don't even know where the hell he is right now."

Lily flushed and rounded on James.

"You too?" she spat.

"He has a point," James shrugged diplomatically.

"I'm sure he's doing something for Dumbledore," Lily said carefully.

"It doesn't look like he's doing a good job of it," Sirius said. "You've seen him. He looks like he's about to crack, if he hasn't already."

"He's doing dangerous work!" Lily shouted, standing up.

"We all are, Lily!" Sirius barked back, keeping his tone subdued for the sake of Harry. "I only mentioned Remus to be fair, but I didn't think you'd actually want him."

"My vote's with Sirius on this one, Lily," James said seriously. "Peter's not the brightest, but he'd never betray us. Mooney's too unstable right now."

Lily huffed and again seriously considered telling her husband and friend about the nature of Remus' work, but she decided against it once again. Working with werewolves might actually further convince James and Sirius that Peter is the better option.

"Okay," Lily said, defeated. "I won't like it, but Sirius is our Secret Keeper and has the right to choose."

"I'll bring Peter by tomorrow," Sirius said, visibly relieved. James nodded, glancing once more at Lily, but she forced her face to remain neutral.

"James, why don't you let Sirius see how well Harry's gotten on that broom," she said sweetly, trying to diffuse the tension in the room. Sirius and James grinned wickedly at each other, and Lily felt a hard pang of nostalgia for Hogwarts.

* * *

Lily was gracious to Peter when he came over the next day, but distant. She watched him carefully, and he seemed twitchier than usual. His skin hung off his body, and he was drowning in his clothes. She hadn't seen Remus in a few weeks, but from what she could tell, Peter was almost as bad.

She clutched Harry to her chest as she watched James remove the charm from Sirius, wipe his memory of the location, and impart the duty to Peter. She had a bad taste in her mouth, and felt sick to her stomach.

Peter avoided her and James' eye as James brandished his wand over his head and muttered the same incantations he said for Sirius a week before. Sirius watched, too, with his jaw set and a muscle in his neck twitching. When James was done, Peter looked like he was about to collapse.

"Tea," Lily said, dashing off to the kitchen for the tray and shoving Harry to Sirius' arms. She needed a moment to herself. Tears formed in her eyes as she let the guilt of excluding Remus wash over her. She would eventually have to work up the nerve to write him a letter and tell him the change. He surely would be heartbroken that they didn't ask him.

When she came back out with the tray, the men were in deep conversation.

"Did you mention it to Dumbledore?" Peter mumbled.

"Not yet," James said. "Next time Sirius sees him, I think. It's not safe for a letter."

"You'll do fine," Sirius said, patting Peter's knee. "They'll still be after me. They won't even think of you."

Peter flushed and nodded stiffly. He glanced at his watch and stood.

"I must be going—mother will be worried."

Lily embraced him with a hug and muttered "thanks," to which Peter jerked a nod in response. In a moment, he was gone.

Sirius stood up next.

"I don't want to leave," he said, his voice becoming thick. "I don't know when I'll get to see you lot again, now that I'm not your secret keeper."

James was beyond speech, and merely nodded and pulled his mate into a deep hug. Tears streamed down Lily's face as she watched them say farewell.

"And you," Sirius said, now unabashedly crying. He picked up Harry and rubbed the baby boy against his face scruff. "Who's your favorite uncle?"

"Sir-us," Harry said cautiously. He stared at the wetness on his uncle's face and placed a hand to it, confused. This caused Sirius to break down more, and he sobbed as he turned to Lily.

"We'll get you out of here soon," he said, burying his face in her hair as he hugged her.

"I know you will," Lily replied thickly. "We'll see you in no time."

With a deep breath, Sirius pulled away. He clapped James on the shoulder once more, muttered "goodbye Prongs" to which James emotionally replied, "goodbye for now, Padfoot." And then Sirius disappeared through the fireplace.


	41. Epilogue: Mark Him as His Equal

With another loud burst of noise, the door flew opened and Lily's lame attempt at a barrier fell to pieces. She stood, shaking, as the dark figure of Voldemort glided in. Instinctively, she dropped Harry into his crib and stood, with her arms out, in front of him.

"Not Harry!" she pleaded, barely able to see the terrible face in front of her through her tears.

"Stand aside you silly girl," he hissed. Harry began to wail, and she stood rooted to the spot. "Stand aside!"

"NOT HARRY! PLEASE! Take me instead!" she begged frantically, refusing to move from her son.

Nothing went through Lily's mind as she watched the white hand raise a wand; the motion was too quick. Perhaps a more satisfying ending to her life would have Lily Potter suddenly understand that she was betrayed; instead, she would die believing that, through the end, her friend had been loyal. In fact, at one point she even felt a small moment of panic for Peter. If she had time, she would have hoped that he hadn't suffered too much on her account.

"_Avada Kedavra."_

And the rest is history.


End file.
